10-10-2007, 08:35 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: LI,NY
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Women and Public Restrooms
I received this in an email today and had to share it with the lovely ladies of TFP.
"When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance." In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance." To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to s trangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail . Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. < B>It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never t ouched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get." By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At this point, you give up. Y ou're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this." As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?" This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door! This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately! Send this to all women that need a good laugh AND, don't forget to have a mammogram!!!!!! It could save your life! A Friend Is Like A Good Bra... Hard to Find Supportive Comfortable Always Lifts You Up Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging And Is Always Clo se To Your Heart!!! Share this with a friend! I Just Did!"
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"Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras |
10-10-2007, 08:43 AM | #2 (permalink) |
Location: Iceland
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I have to say, with this in mind, I actually didn't mind the dirt holes in the ground that I used in the African bush. Now, if only the bats didn't hang out in there at night!
There's something to be said for squat-a-potties, in other countries... EDIT: Actually, I have to amend what I said. I'm remembering how much more the women on our research team were bitching about the hole in the ground than the men were. Why? The men could just aim and pee, right into the hole in the ground. There wasn't even a toilet seat to avoid spraying. The women, however, still had to deal with a bifurcating urine stream (it goes everywhere, due to the labia and possible hair interference), holding our underwear far enough away (without removing it) to avoid getting sprayed, avoiding the urine spraying onto our shoes (not to mention the possibility of either side of the dirt hole collapsing under our feet, which has been known to happen), and hoping that the stream would not divert so far in its strength as to run down one leg or another. And the bats, of course. And large spiders. And the toilet paper falling onto the dirt ground (which somehow, I didn't mind as much as I would mind toilet paper falling onto the floor of a public restroom in the Western world). But I suppose those were more equal-opportunity annoyances.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran Last edited by abaya; 10-10-2007 at 08:51 AM.. |
10-10-2007, 09:27 AM | #3 (permalink) |
Kick Ass Kunoichi
Location: Oregon
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There isn't anything I can catch from a toilet seat, so unless it's visibly soiled, I just go.
And I do enough camping where I have to dig my own latrine that copping a squat in the woods doesn't bother me much either. I've heard that some places are requiring you to pack your own body waste in and out now while backpacking. That's kind of icky. Ew.
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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau |
10-10-2007, 10:21 AM | #4 (permalink) |
Unencapsulated
Location: Kittyville
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I wipe it off and perch since I can't get any diseases (don't want to get wet!! ew!!). I do NOT hover, I can't do it and I think it's silly. What I hate... Hate... HATE!!! is the f@!#ing gross women who piss all over the seat and LEAVE it there, those gross, rude, awful jerks. And if this is you... you just think about that. You rude mofo, you. You deserve a slapping and I'd like to give that slapping, madam.
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My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'. |
10-10-2007, 03:11 PM | #5 (permalink) | |
peekaboo
Location: on the back, bitch
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Quote:
What IS is with those women? Those same ones who insist on squatting because they don't want to 'catch a disease'. They leave it there for the truly clean ones of us who have to wipe everything down before using it. When I travel, I use my own antibacterial hand cleaner that I keep in my car. Oh, and those of you who need to #2 in publice restrooms? Courtesy flush!!! And clean up after yourself. If you insist on getting sick, the least you can do is not leave it to gross everyone else out. Sometimes I really believe women are pigs. |
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10-10-2007, 03:52 PM | #6 (permalink) | |
...is a comical chap
Location: Where morons reign supreme
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Quote:
ng...pray tell...what is a courtesy flush???
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"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa |
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10-10-2007, 04:54 PM | #7 (permalink) | |
peekaboo
Location: on the back, bitch
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Quote:
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10-10-2007, 05:33 PM | #8 (permalink) |
...is a comical chap
Location: Where morons reign supreme
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Ahhhh...I didn't know that had a name
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"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa |
10-10-2007, 06:48 PM | #9 (permalink) |
But You'll Never Prove It.
Location: under your bed
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Oh, and don't you just love the stalls that have the toilet paper dispenser placed strategically far enough away from the toilet that you have to lean to reach it? It sets off the powerful automatic flusher and your butt gets wet. And you're thinking wtf? I wasn't finished yet. But you know the ladies in line would get all kinds of weird ideas if you said it out loud, so you just think it really really hard.
I accidentally wandered into the men's restroom instead of the women's room at the cinema once. I was several steps in when I said, "oops, wrong one." The young man who was using the urinal startled and turned around, peeing on his shoe.
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe |
10-10-2007, 07:25 PM | #10 (permalink) | |
peekaboo
Location: on the back, bitch
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Quote:
Hope his shoe was good leather and not canvas or suede!! |
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10-10-2007, 08:06 PM | #11 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Australia
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I was working as an usher at the theatre my sister in law runs the other week - one of the worst things was making sure there was toilet paper in the mens toilets. Doesn't seem to matter how much you knock and yell "anyone in there" in an obviously feminine voice there's always one lone guy using the urinal who doesn't respond and then gets pissed off because you've walked in on him.
Having done that though I don't understand why so many places don't have toilet paper and seat covers in the public restrooms. Seriously it's not that hard to do a run around in the morning and fill the dispensers up. I am grateful after reading these that I've never have to argue with an automatic flusher though!
__________________
"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own" "Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part." |
10-11-2007, 12:33 AM | #12 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: Berlin
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I don't understand the people who take a heinous shit and then throw half a roll's worth of toilet paper streams into the bowl. Lady, are you trying to cover that shit up, literally? Do you think the rest of us can't smell it? Wouldn't it be easier to flush?
When did flushing become optional?
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Uh huh her. |
10-11-2007, 02:43 AM | #13 (permalink) |
Unencapsulated
Location: Kittyville
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Yeah, the FLUSHING! Or lack thereof. What the hell, people? It's soooo awful to touch the handle? Can you not WASH YOUR HANDS AFTERWARDS???
Women. We're *supposed* to be the dainty feminine sex. There ain't NOTHIN' dainty about the mess they leave. And I do feel sorry for the staff.
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My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'. |
10-11-2007, 06:31 PM | #14 (permalink) | |
...is a comical chap
Location: Where morons reign supreme
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Quote:
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"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa |
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10-11-2007, 06:54 PM | #15 (permalink) | |
Fancy
Location: Chicago
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Quote:
However, I will say it's better than the holes in the ground. They stink and they scare the shit out of me. (no pun intended) Thanks abaya for the spider and bat thing...I hadn't even thought of them. I think I'll opt for outside over a hole in the ground any day... As for the stalls, I'm a quick gal and not too picky. I hate when the tp is gone, but I'm flexible and small enough to maneuver the too close tp holders and doors without latches.
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Whatever did happen to your soul? I heard you sold it Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company |
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10-12-2007, 01:12 AM | #16 (permalink) | |
Location: Iceland
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Quote:
Here is our "stall" (only one in the whole village; ours was very nice compared to most people's). Unfortunately, being about 50m away from my tent, when I had a stomach illness I could not even make it this far in the middle of the night... And here is the hole, also known as the Bat Cave after dark (hey, can you blame them, there were all kinds of insects for them to eat in there!): Gee, I'm feeling kind of nostalgic now...
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And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran |
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10-12-2007, 03:27 AM | #17 (permalink) |
Drifting
Administrator
Location: Windy City
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Abaya .. as long as you didn't name your latrine, its OK .. i can forgive you for taking pictures.
*remembers Samson and Delilah from her trips to Rural Mexico*
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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna |
10-12-2007, 03:40 AM | #18 (permalink) | |
Location: Iceland
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Quote:
__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran |
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10-12-2007, 10:28 AM | #19 (permalink) |
Tilted
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I find the restaurants in Chinatown to be the worst, especially in Vancouver.
It's not just urine on the seats, but it's actually a full film layer of urine that is still wet. And if you are lucky enough to find a seat that is relavtively dry, it's only because the splotches of urine dried on the seat and have stained the white toilet seat yellow. I don't even know how some restaurants even pass health codes with their bathroom conditions. |
10-17-2007, 07:23 AM | #20 (permalink) |
Tilted
Location: Ohio
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If i had a dollar for everytime I rush into a stall and don't check for TP first... and then have to ask the stranger next to me to kindly pass over a strip of TP... I'd probably have a lot more money than I do currently....
Growing up, every summer for me would be spent at my favorite camp... and we'd have nature nights where we'd sleep outside and cook over a fire, etc etc... well... our restroom consisted of finding the largest tree, holding your pants, leaning and doing your business. As far as wiping goes?? We'd "shake it to the left, shake it to the right... shake it allll around" and basically drip dry. hahaha... wow. It has been said that women's restrooms are much much more disgusting than men's. Given what I've read here,and the few men's rr's that i have seen... I'd have to agree. P.S. - the only reason I've seen the men's rr is being an employee and having to go in and clean the dang thing... just wanted to clear that up.
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My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am i doing right? -Charles M. Schulz |
10-17-2007, 02:16 PM | #21 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: Houston, Texas
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I am coming at this with actual experience here, when I was younger I took up a Maintenance job. And part of my job was cleaning the restrooms. Both for the males and females. Females are by far worse than men. They leave Tampons, shit, and bloody pads all over the place. They try to cover seats with toilet paper (and leave it there). Oh an no one has mentioned the bathrooms that have the baby changing tables, and how mothers cant seem to just throw away a diaper, when the trash can is two feet away. And while we are on the subject of trash, why do women have to leave pad tabs (the peel off things) and the wrappers all over? There is always at least one trash can in the rest room if not one of those small ones in every stall. And also, if urine is the worst you have seen on a toilet seat, be glad. Apparently some women feel the need to leave blood all over the toilet seat as well. Yikes, I have to agree with Just Jess, women are supposed to be the cleaner ones, but apparently not so. Some women just need to be taught the basics of common courtesy.
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10-20-2007, 01:37 PM | #22 (permalink) |
Location: Iceland
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Just back from Italy and their women's bathrooms, and let me say that I was missing the African squat-a-potties... I'll take the hole in the ground ANY DAY over what I saw in that country. Hovering was still too close to those surfaces (especially on a moving train, with no TP and no water/soap/towels to wash up afterwards).
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And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran |
10-20-2007, 02:36 PM | #23 (permalink) | |
Kick Ass Kunoichi
Location: Oregon
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Quote:
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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau |
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10-20-2007, 02:55 PM | #24 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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I remember a band night at uni where the girls just spontaneously started using the mens.
It's a bit of a shock when a girl wanders in behind you, but I quickly decided that it's no big deal. Standing at the urinal its not like they see much of us guys. And with the girls in the cubicles - we don't see much of them either. Maybe this is the way to go - at least during busy times. After all, in private houses we all share common facilities. |
10-20-2007, 09:49 PM | #26 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Australia
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*Imagines Nimetic wandering around a lovely lounge room filled with armchairs and coffee tables that smells like cinnamon and vanilla wide eyed"
"Where the hell am I?"
__________________
"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own" "Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part." |
10-21-2007, 10:57 AM | #27 (permalink) |
Upright
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I totally agree with all the previous posts! I work with about 75 women and 6 men (The men are rarely in the office due to them delivering equipment or out seeing patients). The womans bathroom at the office is so disgusting! In the morning the bathroom wreaks because someone mustered up a turd on the way to work rather than do the deed at home and now everyone in the office is stuck smelling it and those automatic air fresheners don't work they just make the shit smell like pine or lemon or whatever flavor they're using this month. The worst is when you go in there and the other two stall are occupied so you're stuck going into the one where the door is mostly closed and you regretfully open the door and find the lid down too.... You grab for TP so you don't have to touch it with your bare fingers and when you do you see what the person before you ate for lunch that day because they weren't a courteous flusher and make sure everything made it's way down the hole. They just closed the lid flushed and made a mad dash out so no one knew it was them that left the nastiness and stank in there! ( I think I just vomited in mouth a little typing that)
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10-22-2007, 04:41 AM | #29 (permalink) |
Leaning against the -Sun-
Super Moderator
Location: on the other side
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OP, that was hilarious! Had me laughing pretty hard...I have a pretty good imagination and could just see the image...hehe
I hate public restrooms...I hover because most times it's too disgusting not too. I am always very courteous and leave everything clean, at least as clean as I can. I keep thinking all the men reading this thread must be having a good chuckle thinking "who knew!" lol, or conversely, they may be grossed out...ah well
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Whether we write or speak or do but look We are ever unapparent. What we are Cannot be transfused into word or book. Our soul from us is infinitely far. However much we give our thoughts the will To be our soul and gesture it abroad, Our hearts are incommunicable still. In what we show ourselves we are ignored. The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. Unto our very selves we are abridged When we would utter to our thought our being. We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. Fernando Pessoa, 1918 |
10-22-2007, 04:40 PM | #30 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: There's no place like home..
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Yeah, hate public restrooms. I'm one of those that wipes down the seat, if it still looks particularly bad, I'll then cover in tp, but I make sure all of it goes in the toilet when I'm done. Everything necessary goes in the little trash can, if there isn't one I wrap in toilet paper and throw in the big one. And the tiny stalls do suck. It's terrible that there are a lot of women out there who just don't care and make public restrooms the nightmare that they are.
I'm so paranoid that even at home I'll almost always take some TP and wipe the seat before sitting down. My husband saw me doing it and asked me why. I told him, well do you always life the seat up, he said no. I said that is why I do it, since I never know if you have and I don't want to find out when I sit down. Maybe they need to start teaching that in school. Common courtesy class.
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Cain: I know what you're doing. I've lead troops into battle before. DG: And, how am I doing? Cain: Well, there's less *hugging* when I do it |
10-22-2007, 10:09 PM | #31 (permalink) |
Junkie
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Seven years ago when I spent my summer in Poland, I had the cruel and disgusting experience of having to pay to use the toilet...oh yes....coin operated toilets. I'd rather hold it in, than use one of those restrooms ever again. *shudders*
I swear I have a public restroom phobia of some sort. I'm very courteous though when I go; I clean up after myself. I swear every bathroom sink at my college has puddles of water on the counter, and a little soap puddle under the dispenser...that bothers me. The reason I said I must have some sort of phobia is because I take my time in the bathroom. Once when I was a kid, I walked out of the bathroom with tp on my shoe, and I was teased for weeks. So once I go to the bathroom, I wash my hands, dry them, check myself in the mirror, and check my feet before I leave, lol. And, maybe I'm the only girl that does this, but I tend to feel a little embarrassed if a male sees me leaving the public washroom. Heh, strange, I know. *shrugs* Any of you girls still in school should know how annoying it is to try and haul your backpack into a stall with you when you're between classes. I don't buy a locker, so I haul my backpack around with me all day, and its not a light weight. heh. There was this one school I went to in Toronto for the Kiwanis festival (this was years ago), and the stall walls and doors were very small...and close together. I mean, we could look to the left and to the right and see each other's faces while squatting! I just can't put into words how weird that was...lol. :P |
10-23-2007, 12:29 AM | #32 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Australia
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I sympathise settie my uni toilets sound remarkably like that (though people never leave pads or any bodily fluids lying around - thank Agnos) and fitting into one of those tiny stalls with a backpack full of books, files, computer bits and a labcoat is NOT fun.
That toronto thing sound hilarious though. Here's the restroom etiquette for men <object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IzO1mCAVyMw&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IzO1mCAVyMw&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>
__________________
"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own" "Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part." |
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public, restrooms, women |
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