hotandheavy

I fantasize about other men when doing anything sexual with/for my husband. I turned 39 this year, and I think I have turned into a teenage boy. I want it all the time. To spice things up for myself, I imagine other men doing me. Not all the time, but often.

hunnychile

Welcome to a normal married life and the beginning of more sexual needs.
Yeah, if I didn't fantasize about other men I wouldn't be able to stay healthy mentally and still remain married. When I hit the mid 30s, I started to want sex a lot more often. I can see why so many woman take on younger lovers!

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mixedmedia

Welcome to the 2nd, uh, coming of the female sexdrive! I've recently been visited by this phenomena, too. I think about sex ALOT more now than I used to. Like, all day long.

Yes, I do this kind of fantasizing alot, too, and it does nothing to diminish my enjoyment with my current partner nor does it take away from the absolute pure delight he brings to me. It's just the mind. Playing.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

ngdawg

I actually find some visual imaginings to get me 'there' faster. Try the lapdancing one....




Did I say that out loud?

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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

abaya

Gee, I'm 27 and I want sex all the time... does that mean I'll want it even MORE in 10 years, or am I peaking early? (Maybe it's because I only got started 3 years ago?)

Yeah, I think about other people (both men and women) sometimes during sex, though not often. Used to do it more often, especially during oral... especially if I am having a hard time orgasming, my imaginary friends get me over the edge.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

hotandheavy

Thanks for the input Ladies. I appreciate you taking the time to answer my question.

Abaya, "imaginary friends" I like that phrase!

Sage

Oh man... one of my favorite fantasies involves me and about oh... ten other men. I like the idea of having more than one man enjoying me and participating in my sexual excitement (that sounds a lot prettier than "I like the idea of being the center of attention in an orgy"). I include my husband in these fantasies, as I find him to be the only man I'd let near my naked body in real life, and in my fantasies he's the initiator and coordinator of me brining pleasure to a lot of other men.

It's totally OK to have this kind of fantasy! A LOT of women use fantasy while they're having sex to "push them over the edge" as has been said. It's when you find yourself being totally turned off by your husband that these types of fantasies become a problem.

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snowy

Just the other night I was imagining Eva Green with a strap-on instead of my SO...

Yeah, fantasies happen.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

mixedmedia

You need to take these fanatsies over to the SEXUAL FANTASIES thread and expound on them, ladies. Me-ow.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

hagatha

I always think its one of the ironies of Western Culture--men (of all ages) are considered to be more sexual than women, but I've been with more men who didn't want sex nearly as much as I did(do) and I know more sexually frustrated women than I care to elaborate on.
So yes, many of us have the libidos of teenage boys---welcome to middle age.

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pornclerk

I say there is absolutely nothing wrong with your fantasies. It is normal to do that and you should not feel guilty about it. Is it really practical to say to yourself "Okay now that I am married I am only going to fantasize about my husband and that's it."? I don't think so!
Why is it that women always feel guilty when they are horny a lot, or even called a tramp, whereas for men it is acceptable? I probably think about sex just as much as a man would. Hell I even admit to liking porn!
So please don't feel ashamed for something that is completely natural.

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Sharon

I'm totally with Sage on this one... I wonder how many men do this too? I'm guessing most of them. Kind of makes me feel a little insecure, but then I do the same so it would be hypocritical to object.

cellophanedeity

Actually, my Love and I have a game where we tell eachother stories involving other people during sex. Simon just doesn't want to hear about Chris, unless he's telling the story. ^_^

I really think most people think about other people during sex, at least once in a while.

abaya

Yeah, that is a common one for me, though it's not Eva Green... it's usually this one girl who was in my class last semester, who is completely innocent and very Christian, but I find her to be quite sexy for some reason. Both my husband and I "brought" her into some of our cybering sessions (as a fictitious character, of course) which I really enjoyed. And, as I said, I think about her with a strap-on sometimes when he's going down on me. If she had any idea...

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran