wife cheating me? [aka - The Missing Condom Thread]
 

last night i counted and found one missed condom ,what does it mean?.i hav been married since last 1 yr,and i usually work in night sift,can i assume that she slept with another male

Or you miscounted?

Or she blew one up with the girls for a giggle?

Or she took one in her purse because she knows you want to fuck her behind the sofa at your mum's house?

Or....

Or....

Or.... just ask her?

i m sure about number.i asked her,she said i dont know.

Do you trust your counting skills more than you trust your wife? Is it possible you made a mistake?

is it possible that the pack contained one less condom?

or if your're really paranoid....maybe she's using condoms with you cos she's been sleeping around with someone else.

why are you counting condoms anways?

in the pack there was 5 condom ,next day it was 4,hows that possible and wife saying she dont know abt this.

if it was a new unopened pack and she took the first one from the pack and then denied it then thats just imbecilic.

but i suggest you find some other excuse for the missing condom before you go pointing fingers.

do you two live alone?

yes we live alone

OK, I'll tell you what you obviously want to hear: I'm fucking your wife. Every time you go to work, I get on a plane and fly half-way around the world and fuck her as hard as I can. Sorry that we had to use your condom.

I hope you understand how ridiculous that sounds. And how ridiculous accusing you wife of cheating solely based on one missing condom sounds. If you have other evidence, that's something different, but honestly, I don't even know your wife and I trust her more than I trust your ability to count or to find the condom that got separated from the rest.

What else is going on that leads you to suspect this? A missing condom by itself isn't enough.

Jazz, you're silly.

Nice: This must be a distressing situation for you. While I wouldn't jump to conclusions, I would be concerned. If your wife says she doesn't know why there's a condom missing. If she did use it on another man - that means she's lying to you and cheating.

Your wife may be cheating on you. But she may not. The next question you need to ask yourself, is how this affects you. How will you allow it to affect your relationship? Are you comfortable with the thought of her being with another man? It doesn't sound like you are. Why is this? Why would she want to cheat on you and lie about it? How is your relationship? It might be a terrible stress on your relationship for her to be alone when you work nights. Maybe this is an indication of a deep-seeded issue with your marriage, one that you could potentially resolve.

With a worry like this, be sure to have safe sex. If she is sleeping around, you don't want to be slapped with the consequences.

One missing condom doesn't mean she is cheating on you. How open sexually are you with each other? Maybe she missed you, used something to masturbate with and covered it with a condom. Maybe she feels uncomfortable sharing this with you.

Yeah, maybe she used it to roll up on something to jack off with. Like a TV remote or cell phone.

Does your TV remote smell like latex?

no, but Jazz's phone does

you could contact a PI to sniff things out for you (you could suggest he sniff the remote or phone too), but that might be a costly exercise with little results.

if you wanted to go all out, you may want to set up a surveilance system, consider tapping the phones, pinhole spy cam, or try staking out her work or your own house... maybe even try intercepting her emails...there's an infinitesimal reasons to freak out.

do you have neighbours? maybe someone next door needed one...


my point in all this? if you got nothing except a missing condom as evidence, then you're going to need to a little bit more than that im afraid. you need to take a chill pill. be wary, but dont freak yourself out. not yet anyways.

oh..and i'd be wary of Jazz. he's a smooth man-slut that'd screw anything that moves. gentlemen, lock your women up when you're at work

I have to go back a step and wonderwhy in the world you even know exactly how many condoms should be there?
Is there a very high underlying level of distrust in your relationship?:no:

Ok so it was a 5 pack of condoms and it was opened but none were used at that time but you came back and one is missing? do you folks normally open the box even if your not going to be using them right away? who opened the box the first time? you or her?

any chance your opened and had sex and forgot you used it?

Yeah...why open a pack you're not going to use? That makes no sense. This whole story hinges on the fact that a "5-pack" of condoms now contains 4. This sounds extremely fishy to me, because....CONDOMS DO NOT COME IN FIVE PACKS! After extensive searches to verify my initial thoughts, the ONLY condoms that are offered in a 5-pack that I was able to find was a single brand offered in the UK. Every other brand and make was a a 1 pack, 3 pack, 6 pack, and then 10/12/36/60/100/etc. No five pack.

If the planets align and you actually were using that particular brand, you're also missing another important detail, does your wife have a history of being really stupid? Opening a new pack of condoms and using one with the mailman is a pretty unintelligent move. Maybe she's sick of you snooping, maybe she wants you to confront her, and she'll pull that condom out of her purse/medicine cabinet/jewelry box and throw it at you and yell at you for what a bastard you are for being so paranoid, etc etc.

The plot thickens....

...or it has become engorged..... as it were.....

He never said it was a 5-pack of condoms, he just said that there were 5 in it the last time he noticed. Maybe it was a 6-pack at the time of purchase, they used one together, leaving 5, then one was missing, leaving 4.

Maybe it was a 24-pack. Some people just keep running mental inventories of items they consider essential.

Mr Condoms, our first respondant will be able to help us here. He's the resident condom expert. he'll be able to tell us for certain on the pack size.

where is our OP from?

Ok, ok, it's not me. I need 2 condoms.

I always forget that Daniel deals with condoms for work.

OMG ... man this is brilliant! :lol:

This has all the makings of a classic thread ...

I've always found peoples responses to things like this interesting....

"Is there a level of deep-seeded mistrust because you remembered there were 5 condoms, not 4?"

Kind of ridiculous reactions in my opinion...I happen to remember things like that too. I'm a number person, but that's just me. I think it's a reasonable response when something of that importance is missing. I wouldn't say the OP has major issues with his wife and their relationship however I don't think they're being paranoid either. That's the kind of thing that, despite not having evidence you might be better off to make yourself more aware of what your wife is doing, who she sees, where she goes, who shes talking to etc. Not snooping...just being more aware of things.

I must ask, did you check behind the nightstand, underneath the bed etc? Perhaps it was misplaced or dropped in an unfortunate strategic location causing all this worry for nothing.

Goodluck...

This post couldn't possibly have anything to do with the cuckold fetishes you've posted about on exbii, could it?

Emphasis mine.

/thread

So in another thread you say that you both have relations outside of your marriage and now you're worried because a rubber is missing?
Willis, you have some 'splainin' to do.

I think that may be a communication error. The OP seems to be a non-native English speaker; I read the prior post as "we've both had relations prior to marriage."

Addressing the OP's concerns, not only is your wife clearly cheating, but she's criminally cheap. The only possible conclusion is that she pulled a single condom out of your pack and is using it over and over again with her illicit lover. After all, it's not like she could just walk down to the corner store to buy some for her affairs.

The only way you can retain honour at this point is through ritual suicide. Protip: make sure the dagger is nice and sharp.

cuckold:
mid-13c., from O.Fr. cucuault, from cucu (see cuckoo) + pejorative suffix. So called from the female bird's alleged habit of changing mates, or her authentic habit of leaving eggs in another bird's nest. The verb is 1580s, from the noun. Related: Cuckoldry (1520s).

Man, I wonder how much research you all do when I say something stupid.

I better make sure my Facebook and LinkedIn is up to date.

I'm cyberstalking you right now.

Lemme know if you find anything good. Rumor has it if you look up my username you can find wedding pictures.

or this

http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/ru...93/4468641.jpg

In this context, it refers to a husband who gets sexually excited by the thought (or the act) of his wife having sex with another man.

---------- Post added at 09:23 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:10 PM ----------

This just sounded spammy, so I wanted to see if there were 30 other posts on other forums by niceguy19761976 about this with the same wording.

Incidently, since we're off topic already, this guy hasn't re-responded, I noticed something else possibly pertinent on exbii about whether he meant 'relation outside marriage' to refer to before marriage or during... (he only has like 20 posts there, there isn't much to read)

From the 'how many sexual partners?' thread here in our sexuality forum:

(emphasis mine)

Whereas in a post on eXBii:
(he clarifies later in thread he meant he had only slept with one girl before his wife, but she had slept with 3).

So, either he's slept with 18 girls since he got married, implying that yes, they have an open marriage (or he's a cheater), or something doesn't add up.

...Also notice that she apparently slept with her friends husband.

What moral difference is there between betraying your friend by sleeping with her husband and betraying your husband?

You rang?

The earlier posts are right - five is an unusual pack size, but as has been said, it could have been a six, twelve, or other size that was partially depleted.

All in all, the couple EITHER have an open relationship, but the wife is carrying on outside agreed boundaries, OR he's a liar, OR he's miscounted, OR she's used one for something else.

Only they can sort this out, and only talking about it will sort it out for them.

For myself, I understand that it's possible to be frightened that she's cheating on him, but aroused by it at the same time.

first off all i did not post any comment on exwii,okay.
yes we both hav relation out side marrage ,we both know each others past,but my question is if she had with another man why did she hide with me.
where the condom gone?
i m 100% sure she slept with another man but why she hiding it.
my english is not good sorry for that

Ha ha I love you.

Way to keep things classy, TFP.

This guy obviously has a concern, whether you think he's lying, ridiculous, or whatnot. His wife could be cheating on him, it's not unheard of for that to happen. I assume the decreasing membership is no longer a concern around here. At least you'll have "a classic" to add to the Hall of Fame.

Apropos of the OP: The other night, I was having drinks with some girlfriends. The topic came around to a friend's husband who counts condoms, sniffs her panties, and tries to catch her in lies daily. She is not cheating, but it is leading to the demise of their marriage. If the trust is not in a relationship, it isn't going to work.

It's obvious that the people here can't help you. You need to speak with your wife and work things out or quit. Living in a state of paranoia is not healthy for you, her, or the relationship.

^^ Just a little bit more badgering and I can put down a lot of money on the OP being a troll ...

But just in case he isn't, I say let it go man. What difference does it make? You both sleep with other people and I am getting heavy "loveless marriage" vibes here.

Why are you lying about this? It's clearly you, you even started a thread identical to this one about a condom missing. wife cought - eXBii

---------- Post added at 11:59 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:56 AM ----------

The reason we are confused is "Relation outside marriage" means that you have both had relations with people since getting married. As in, it is ok for you to be with other people, even now. If you are talking about your past, you should say "Relations before marriage" not "relations outside marriage"

Y'know, I'm so glad we have you around to tell us all the ways we suck and how much better things used to be. Really, how would we get along without these constant reminders?

...

You want a serious response? Fine.

OP, you're overreacting to the point that clearly many of the responders here find it comical. One single missing condom doesn't prove a damn thing. If you have other reasons to suspect your wife of cheating, fine; but based on what you've told us, your reaction is way out of proportion.

Maybe it fell behind the headboard/toilet/whatever. Maybe the wrapper tore, she threw it out and subsequently forgot. Maybe you miscounted. Maybe one of your friends borrowed one. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

So a condom's missing. That doesn't justify jumping to ludicrous conclusions.

Talk to your wife. Don't accuse; just discuss your concerns. It's way too early to think these things.

...

For the record, I still recommend the ceremonial dagger.

Wait...

Who slept with their cousin?!
________

I can definitely understand how her hiding she slept with someone else, rather than her simply sleeping with someone else, is where the issue lies, but it's just a missing condom...

Still not with you, my friend; one condom does not a conspiracy make. My husband is a consummate OCD-counter, but I promise you that in the throws of passion (and occasional viking role play) we've both lost count of how many gel inserts were left in the box. Your willingness to immediately condemn your wife rather than assign this all to human error is a little odd; I think everyone is curious to know if you have anything more concrete, so that relevant advice can be given. Either you have an open relationship or you don't; at this point, it sounds like at worst your wife took advantage of her free-agent status. If you're that pissed about one missing condom, tell her she owes you a $1.40. Otherwise, we'd like to hear about the sneaking around, late night phone calls, and whipped-cream stains on the sheets...you know, evidence.
As to why she might hide it, i think the hardcore condom-counting and the hours and hours of obsessing over it without talking to her like she's an adult human being might be your first clue...

hang on... i thought all of those possibilities were already raised in previous posts??

i presonally dont think we're being too hard on the OP.

The OP's now 100% sure of his wifes infidelities based on 1 missing condom. There's more than meets the eye here, and we have no idea what the real story is. Members do not have the ability to provide a decent enough advise to the OP for this reason. no more decent enough that shesus' current advice.

Y'know, after reading your post, I believe the OP's wife hid the condom on purpose, to drive him nuts!

Anyone that's been here as long as you have would know well enough that all of these threads are essentially worthless as they can no more grasp at the truth than the OP can work through their own emotions and biases to communicate it. The fact that we still have anything left to discuss over these same matters amazes me constantly.

And so I ask respectfully enough, what else is there when the answer to this thread and every thread like it are so painfully obvious? When this forum is so obviously used as a revolving door for the broken hearted, what else are we to offer them?

On another note, I know we're probably due for another discussion about why this forum blows in comparison to what it used to be but if you're honestly concerned with bettering this place then I suggest you reconsider your methods.

Telling someone that you're fucking their wife or that they should commit suicide are acceptable responses, then spending the rest of the thread patting each other on the back about how funny those responses are are also acceptable responses? I got a pm from another member saying they thought the same thing, but didn't have the guts to say it. There is more than meets the eye here and discussion would involve talking with the guy and asking questions instead of calling him a liar, mocking him, and then interrogating him.


I'm not sure why some posters get so defensive about their immature responses or why me saying sarcastically that this is classy gets martian or manic skafe so emotional. Get over yourselves and your opinions of me. I've moved on and it would be a healthy choice for you to let it go as well.

Healthy as in Dr. Phil or healthy as in some-guy-that-joined-in-2007-is-still-wondering-why-this-circle-jerk-is-still-going?

Really, shesus? Really? You want to know what would have happened "back in the old days"? Fine. This thread would have been immediately deleted or locked because the OP was vague and really not discussion-worthy. It's been turned into something that's discussion-worthy by the subsequent posters, not the OP.

And I'm not about to apologize to anyone for using obvious satire to point out the fallicies in his assumption - just like you're not going to apologize for your sarcasm. As I said, it was obvious what he wanted to hear. If he's got more reasons to draw that conclusion, he hasn't shared them with us.

Sometimes obvious trolls are just obvious. Especially when you can easily find the same post word-for-word on other boards.

Martian has emotions? I thought he only had random bouts of NerdRage (tm). Wow, you learn something everyday.

*****

I look at it this way, this guy is carpet bombing forums with his question in hopes that someone goes ahead and says, "You wife is fucking your friend/brother/cousin/milkman/spanish-speaking maid, now go dump her." Once a week we get one of these quasi-troll threads asking for advice that the OP won't take. I'm pretty sure that the OP already has an answer in his head and nothing we say will change his mind.

(From what I've seen) These threads follow the same pattern:

Start: OP posts a question with no background information, no detail, and (half the time) in bad/broken English.
1st Half: Members try to help/decipher the OP and we get a few responses from the user.
2nd Half: OP stops posting and TFP gets bored giving the same advice over and over again. Begin the mocking. This is where the thread becomes fun to post in.
End: Someone calls all us immature and hateful, an argument begins and the thread ends.

Ad Nauseum.

Hal once stated (and I agree with him) that people don't listen to 99% of the advice on the board, they just wait till they get that piece of advice that is similar to their own. They then run with this because someone told them they were right. Again, they don't want advice, they want someone to tell them they are correct in their assessment of the own situation.

/end .02

It was recently discovered that the Internet was in fact invented by Al Gore for the purpose of dispensing validation and pornography.

...

Honestly, my first real post here at the TFP was the embarrassing emo sob story routine where I just wanted someone (a total stranger, no less) to tell me to stop being such a blubbering pussy and that everything would be okay because that type of thing has happened to a million other guys before. I came to TFP for an audience and stayed because nobody was going to give me a OP handjob. Tough love is tough but honest. Hard to find that out there in the world of Facebooks and Reddits.

...

The Obvious: One hit wonders show up at TFP to post questions that have been answered a million times because they want company.

Silly person. Martian doesn't have emotions. It truly is just random bouts of nerdrage.

This is intriguing. Continue.

i'd hate to see this thread die in the ass, so i though i'd answer TK's question.

when i buy a pack i open the pack before i put it in the draw. i'd hate to think that i'd fumble around tearing the wrapping, then opening the pack and then tearing the condom pack open....

in the mean time......:wave: say goodbye to 'the zone'

know what i'm sayin'?

i ALWAYS open the pack beforehand

Get over myself? Sure.
Get over my opinions of you? Get real.

I've been here since 2003 and have less than two thousand posts - don't assume I care about you or this forum any more than my willingness to contribute makes obvious enough.

If you won't offer what I've written the least bit of consideration then spare me a response.

PICK ME! OOOOHHHH PICK ME!!! OVER HERE!! HAND RAISED AND EVERYTHING! PICK MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Whatever, I'll just say it.

How about...:paranoid:...we LOCK this forum up with a sign that says "GOOGLE IS YOUR FRIEND AND TALK TO YOUR PARTNER."

That will take take of about 99.99% of answers people usually get in Sexuality anyway.

I'm gonna laugh when the OP makes you all feel like a bunch of jaded assholes and finds out that she really was cheating on him.

And that would be our fault how, exactly?

I mean, sure, we can sit here and suck dick of compassion...but, compassion to what? An assumption that his wife cheated based on a missing condom? He should be talking to her, not us.

A lot of people here like to play psychologist and just get to the root of a particularly pesky problem, but our guess is as good as his.

What happened to you, shesus? You used to be cool.

This is a non-thread. OP is starting multiple threads in muliple forums. He's posting up information that is confusing or downright contradictory, and then trying to deny it when confronted.

Some folks have suggested he's looking for validation. Could be. I'm not that charitable, myself. I'm reasonably sure it's flat-out trolling, and not convinced the OP even has a wife to begin with.

Addressing the implied meta aspect, TFP has changed. Newsflash: It's The Internet. Things change here faster than anywhere else.

Some of us like the new TFP. If you don't, the only question I have is why the hell would you keep coming back?

I don't want you to get a false sense of my investment here, hon. When I go to bed at night, the opinion various posters on this forum have of me is not something I lie awake thinking about. At the same time, I'm sure as hell not going to sit around and let you shit on me and the people I consider friends because you're bitter. You want to pull that bullshit, I'll call you on it every time. Consider it a promise.

Also, my emotions are a meticulously crafted simulation. My heart is bitter and cold.

Are muslims allowed to use condoms?

was I asking you?

Oh, pardon me. I appear to be lost and not on the internet where anybody can give answers to anything.

really...jeez

Oh thank god, I started to panic there for a minute. If Martian starts having emotions and feelings, that means we are one step closer to the Robot Apocalypse.

I almost started packing my stuff to go be an added burden to Plan9's The-World-Went-To-Shit Plan.

i love this thread for its frankness... thank you TFP

Lucifer - yes muslims are allowed to use condoms. its usage is worldwide, though in some cultures its usage is limited because of socioeconomic reasons or cultural reasons where large families are wanted/expected.

But as long as both parties agree to it, then yes. Coitus interuptus (aka 'the pull out method') is also acceptable, which is not the case with other abrahamic faiths.

i'd answer this in detail if you like in my 'ask a muslim thread' found here ;) http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/general...sk-muslim.html

surprisingly #8 on the googlesearch

Thanks for the reminder, dlish,
as I was trying to fall asleep last night I remembered a question I wanted to ask you on your thread.

To the OP:
I hope you have gleaned what might be useful for you,
from our various answers and antics.

I'm guessing your native language might be Hindi, I'm not sure.
I wonder if there is a universal language translator application for the internet.

English is a monster of backwardsness and contradictions,
to learn, so I've heard.

ring gave me an idea..

to the OP, if you do come from the subcontinent, if it's any consolation, i have many workers that work for me that are of indian background. most of my guys speak either hindi or malayalam as well as some other dialects.

if you like you could send me your question in your local dialect and i can have it translated into english for you if you wanted to get your true point across.

Eden, your BAC must be 0.05 or less to participate in said plan.

...

This makes me think some people have weird condom accountability habits. Hell, I don't even keep condoms in the box. I buy / acquire (free college bin) like 20-something at a time and I certainly don't count them as I use them. I might eyeball them to make sure I have like 5-6 for the weekend, but no counting. I tear the packets apart and throw them in the front of my partner's bra/underwear drawer so I can grab and go in the heat of the moment.

...

Maybe I should write on them with Sharpie and keep a log of their "deployment." If nothing else, it'd be a funny journaling activity.

"17 November - Deployed condom #473. Difficult to open at first. Rolled on smooth. Thrusted for 1.5 runs of Steve Miller's 'Abracadabra.' Rolled up used condom and disposed of in bathroom trashcan. Condom last spotted next to spent TP roll and a bloody tissue from nose another bleed. Really should buy a humidifier."

He he he - I bought a 40" shipping container full of condoms last week - it's gonna take me a couple of weeks to get through them.

Once again, and sorry if I sound as snarky as others in this thread, Google has one. If you look to the right of the searchbox on the google homepage, and click on "language tools", you can translate paragraphs (cut and paste) or whole webpages.

Well, I vote for you to chronicle your carnal adventures as far as the use of them.

and google's translator is horrid.

just sayin'

^ which is why i offered my services

Yeah, online automatic translation services pretty much "blow the goat."

Alta Vista's Babelfish sounds like a Japanese video game dialog from the 1980s.

It gets all "All Your Base Are Belong To Us," etc. It can't even translate English to German.

Pfft, you certainly wouldn't BING it.

Until our OP decides to join us again:

Our all time show might include,
the 'Vogon Poetry Generator.'

BBC - Cult - Hitchhiker's - Vogon Poetry Generator

Here is mine for today.:.:.:

See, see the enabling sky
Marvel at its big puce depths.
Tell me, cat do you
Wonder why the me ignores you?
Why its foobly stare
makes you feel heavy.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your skoolzeling facial growth
That looks like
A mold.
What's more, it knows
Your slurp potting shed
Smells of lentil.
Everything under the big enabling sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm sulphurs.

Damn....you're an ass.


Soundbite 101

my god. I missed such a good thread!!!! stupid work...

If you'd counted the posts, you'd have known we were cheating on you...

nah, Jazz probably deleted one to make him THINK that

Ring, your Vogon Poetry was the last straw. I'm currently laughing so hard I'm unable to breathe!

ixnay on the ivingay wayay uffstay!!!

You fold your socks before having sex, don't you.

No, but I do.

Plan9 is right.. i dont...that's because im wearing them!

I think that was the source of much of the original confusion, and if I recall no one really denied that she was. The OP stated that they both (if I deciphered correctly) bang other people openly; he automatically assumed based on the "smoking condom" that she had, and wanted to know why she would hide it. Most of the replies were attempting to go back to square one, and determine how he came to his conclusion on such thin evidence.
Judging by what a CIA investigation he's launching over one effing condom, I'm amazed she's out of his sight long enough to go pee, let alone have an affair.


Also, women have been scientifically proven to have no souls, so I'm incapable of feeling bad whether I'm right or wrong. :thumbsup:

I feel guilty right now just for reading this thread and I did not even cheat.

---------- Post added at 08:43 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:43 PM ----------

Hot.

You must secretly be Canadian.

A naked man in socks looks ridiculous IMHO!

your opinion doesnt add much to the thread.

my sock can double as a condom if you ever find yourself one condom short

it must be nice having such small feet.

like baby socks?

unless youre RHCP.

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...double29nc.jpg[/IMG]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...500_AA280_.jpg

oh my eyes