Daughter 18 sues mother for child support - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Cynthetiq · 10-12-2005, 06:44 AM

Quote:

Daughter sues for child support

BY ANN GIVENS
STAFF WRITER
LINK
October 12, 2005

The day after Maria Guevara turned 18, she packed her bags and moved out of her mother's Floral Park home.

She had a strained relationship with her father, who she said physically abused her when she was younger -- a charge he denies -- and she said her mother was too strict, setting an early curfew and denying her money for restaurants and fashionable clothes.

But after she moved into a friend's basement in Bellerose Terrace in March, Guevara did something her mother didn't see coming: She sued her parents for child support in Nassau Family Court.

"I didn't get along with my mother, so I decided to move out and get my own place," said Guevara. "I love my mom, but I wasn't feeling right living there."

Between the ages of 18 and 21, young people fall into a special category in New York state: They're old enough to move out of their parents' house, but young enough to be supported by them in most cases, legal experts said.

Maria says that's only fair. She wants to go to college and is not yet in a position to support herself. But in interviews and court documents, her divorced parents said they should not have to pay the bills for a daughter who will not live by their rules.

"It's ironic for a person to act like an adult, live like an adult and yet not want to have the responsibilities of an adult," said Sean Sabeti of Jericho, the attorney who represents Maria's mother, Gina Ubillus of Floral Park. "Imagine how many other 18-year-olds are going to say, 'Wait. I can move out and still get child support.'"

Maria's case against her father, Marcos Guevara of Astoria, is pending before Support Magistrate Penelope Beck Kahn. Maria's case against her mother was dismissed last month, four months after it was filed. Sabeti said he had asked for the dismissal on the grounds that Ubillus, who does not work, was not in a position to support Maria, while Maria was.

Maria retains the right to resubmit the petition.

Maria's lawyer, Jeffrey Trimarchi of Manhattan, declined to comment. Her father's lawyer, Joseph Kasper of Queens, did not return calls seeking comment.

A number of cases similar to Maria's have been filed in New York over the years, some decided in favor of the child, others for the parents, experts said.

Lewis Silverman, director of the Family Law Clinic at Touro Law Center in Huntington, said he could not remember a case where parents whose rules were considered reasonable were made to pay child support. In one case, parents who were trying to make their pregnant daughter have an abortion had to pay child support because that was deemed unreasonable, Silverman said.

The strength of a child's arguments depends on the reasons they aren't able to get along with their parents and their ability to live independently, among other things, legal experts said. Eighteen-year-olds who marry, join the military or work full-time are generally not awarded child support, Silverman said.

But Maria, who just started her first year at Nassau Community College, argues that her parents should pay for school. She works part-time as a teacher's aide at the John Lewis Childs School in Floral Park, but three hours a day at $12 an hour doesn't pay for her living expenses and tuition, she said.

"I'm 18, but I still need support," she said. "I'm going to college. I don't have time to be working full-time. It's hard for me."

A judge will also look at the reasons for a rift between a child and parent, said Barbara Kopman of Hicksville, an attorney specializing in family law.

Maria said she left her father's house at about 13 because he physically abused her, a charge he denied in court documents. She said her mother gave her food and clothing but made her come home by 6 or 7 every night and pay for all nonessentials such as restaurant meals and extra clothing.

Gina Ubillus, who is still caring for Maria's younger brother, 16, is hurt by the notion that she wasn't a good mother.

"I feel betrayed. I did all I could for her and my son," she said. "It's so unfair. Just because she wants her freedom, she's abusing the system."
Copyright 2005 Newsday Inc.

In my eyes.. 18 is the magical age... after that it's a free for all. You reap what you sow, you'll get your money now.. but when she needs assistance or help in the future where she needs help with kids, downpayment on a house, emergency funds, the parents will think long and hard about this.

highthief · 10-12-2005, 06:50 AM

That's kinda strange, but a good example of the way many societies set arbitrary ages as "age of responsibility".

IMO, we pick an age - be it 18, 19 or 21 - and at that point you vote, drink, drive, join the military, rent a car, go to jail, whatever. You also can't expect, at that age, to have momma bail you out.

Ustwo · 10-12-2005, 06:54 AM

Quote:

"I'm 18, but I still need support," she said. "I'm going to college. I don't have time to be working full-time. It's hard for me."

Haha, what a lazy brat. Next time don't move out.

frogza · 10-12-2005, 06:57 AM

Quote:

and she said her mother was too strict, setting an early curfew and denying her money for restaurants and fashionable clothes.

This part really got to me, does she really think that this means she's had a tough life? She needs to do some serious growing up and cutting the strings sounds like just the thing.

Perhaps she should spend a day working at social services office, maybe then she'd realize how relatively easy her life had been.

canuckguy · 10-12-2005, 06:58 AM

can't do school and work full time? lol, well how about working full time and going to school part-time. loads of us have done it. welcome to the real world.

not getting new clothes is bad? good thing this girl did not grow up in my house! you know whats bad, not having food or shelter. not getting new clothes, boo-hoo. thats what a part time job is for!

StanT · 10-12-2005, 06:58 AM

If you don't accept your parents rules, you shouldn't be accepting their money either.

You can't have it both ways.

docbungle · 10-12-2005, 07:08 AM

What a vile little creature. Nice way to alienate yourself from your bread and butter. She doesn't like her mom's rules? Oh, man! Better sue!

ShaniFaye · 10-12-2005, 07:11 AM

no no no NO. what a brat

at 18 I had a curfew of 11:30 (even on the weekends) I bought my own clothes, paid for my own food outside of what my mother fixed for meals at home. Hell at 16,17 I did the same thing. this chick is a piece of work

Ustwo · 10-12-2005, 07:13 AM

Are we sure this isn't a fake story?

With just a little editing it would fit in the Onion.

rhaevyn · 10-12-2005, 07:14 AM

Quote:

She said her mother gave her food and clothing but made her come home by 6 or 7 every night and pay for all nonessentials such as restaurant meals and extra clothing.

If that's the worst of her problems with her mother, she should be thanking every deity anyone has ever believed in.

Astrocloud · 10-12-2005, 07:23 AM

Wow, I'm the first yes. Having been an orphan -I missed the benefits of having parents. Kids and Parents shouldn't underestimate the value of their own relationship.

Normally, a kid that's 18 gets stuff from their parents. Though not fully supported -you'll find that 18 year olds are typically driving mom & dad's old car or getting handouts in some form.

snowy · 10-12-2005, 07:34 AM

While I had no curfew (each outing had a negotiated "be back by" time) and my parents did give me money for "restaurant meals" and "fashionable clothes"--I certainly didn't expect it even before I was 18. Those things were privileges I earned by being a good kid, doing what they told me to, and getting good grades. Once I turned 18, receiving those things was a surprise. Yes, I'm 23 and my parents still pay for my car insurance and cell phone (cheaper to be on their insurance plan/cell phone plan than to be on my own) as I'm currently out of work. But I don't expect them. If my dad said tomorrow that I was cut off, well then I'd be taking the bus and using pay phones (but then I'd be calling Mom collect versus using free PCS to PCS calling), and I have no problem with that. I am thankful for what I have.

After I turned 18 I never expected to get anything from my parents. Everything they have given me since that point has been a gift. This girl needs to grow up and realize that she's now an adult and her parents have no obligation whatsoever to keep supporting her. She made the choice to move out. She's got to live with that now.

10-12-2005, 07:44 AM

In the 'What does the world think about America?' thread - Did anyone mention crazy litigation?

Ustwo · 10-12-2005, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astrocloud

Wow, I'm the first yes. Having been an orphan -I missed the benefits of having parents. Kids and Parents shouldn't underestimate the value of their own relationship.

Normally, a kid that's 18 gets stuff from their parents. Though not fully supported -you'll find that 18 year olds are typically driving mom & dad's old car or getting handouts in some form.

Yep, but you won't find many getting this who moved out on their own against their parents will.

If you want that support you play by your parents rules. If you don't like them, sucks to be you.

guthmund · 10-12-2005, 08:13 AM

After reading about this poor, poor girl's hardship, I'm getting a little teary-eyed over here....

I think family should support family whenever they can, but this isn't support, it's extortion. The benefits of having a family, without the inconvenience of actually having a family.

lurkette · 10-12-2005, 08:19 AM

"It's ironic for a person to act like an adult, live like an adult and yet not want to have the responsibilities of an adult"

dingdingdingding!!!

The faster she learns that she is not entitled to ANYTHING in this world, the happier and better off she will be. You had a sucky childhood? Join the club. Besides, if you are an "emancipated minor" you're more likely to qualify on your own measly earnings for student loans. There are plenty of options for paying for school besides taking an immature swipe at your parents' checkbook because you feel like you got shafted in the parental lottery.

Bill O'Rights · 10-12-2005, 10:54 AM

[fingerwag]
Somebody needs a time out.
[/fingerwag]

Actually...what she probably needs is a good spanking.

Come'ere

Carno · 10-12-2005, 11:24 AM

Ugh. What a repulsive little bitch.

I hope the judge laughs in her face.

Radarhero · 10-12-2005, 11:33 AM

Never Bite the hand that feeds you!

Lwang9276 · 10-12-2005, 11:45 AM

this is ridiculous.. she says i love my mom, but yea shes suing her.. tlak about end of relationship.. and she thinks work is too hard.. then take out some dam loans.. man what a crazy girl

Destrox · 10-12-2005, 11:46 AM

Tough shit kiddo, you're fucked.

maskedrider · 10-12-2005, 04:47 PM

I couldn't do that to my mom...

snowy · 10-12-2005, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maskedrider

I couldn't do that to my mom...

That's another part of my beef with this...I love my mom to bits and I could never imagine alienating her in such a way. Or my dad, for that matter.

I guess family ties just aren't important to some people any more.

Grasshopper Green · 10-12-2005, 04:58 PM

I moved out just shy of my 18th birthday, and have never expected anything from my parents since then. They've helped me many times since then, and I was thankful, because they certainly didn't owe it to me. I really hope she doesn't win this, not only because she doesn't deserve it, as well as it'll put the idea in a lot of other teen's heads...

ngdawg · 10-12-2005, 05:22 PM

My first job, at 18, I paid my parents rent, bought my own food and clothes. Just before my 19th birthday, I moved out, but that lasted about a year and I moved back to live in the basement, still paying rent, etc.
Like Shanifaye, said, she's just a brat.

Shpoop · 10-12-2005, 05:23 PM

I say yes. Just so that when she turns 22 and is still in college, and the money gets cut off, she will be in for the shock of her life. She has the chance right now to gradually ease her way into a work/school lifestyle...support now means a slap in the face down the road.

ryfo · 10-12-2005, 05:30 PM

Most people who move out of home at 18 realise they are going to have to be responsible for themselves and the bills they create. It sounds like she just wants her own way and has found legal counsel that panders to her 'i want i desserve' attitude to life. She needs to live inthe real world and realise that if her dad did abuse her, she wouldn't want anything from her parents, her dad because of what he did to her, and her mum for not believing her and standing up for her and pressing charges.

Slyboots · 10-12-2005, 06:25 PM

I hope to god that the courts wont take her seriously. Even tho im 18, i can’t really afford to move out. Cali is pretty expensive, so mom place is going to be home for awhile. Couldn’t she try for scholar ships or grants? Or at least work part time?

OPgary · 10-14-2005, 09:13 AM

[B]The little bitch could also join the military. She would have support, would grow up and would get educational benefits and at thesame time would make fair money for her age. Hope the judge throws her out of court.

Meditrina · 10-18-2005, 08:22 AM

I do not think she should get child support. This line was the clincher ""I'm 18, but I still need support," she said. "I'm going to college. I don't have time to be working full-time. It's hard for me."" Sounds like a spoiled brat to me. There are many people who work full time and go to college either part time, or even full time, and they manage. I don't feel bad for her.

feelgood · 10-19-2005, 07:46 AM

What a pain in the ass, the little shit knows that there's millions of other teenagers that's in worse situation than she is in and isn't suing their own parents because of where they are.

All the more reason why there should be a law against people suing for no good reason like this one.

Catdaddy33 · 10-19-2005, 09:01 AM

Brat...the "I'm 18 and going to college is BS", I worked during college and got loans and she can too, or move back in with her mother until she graduates or drops out..

View Poll Results: Should she get child support?
yes, the parents should help out as long as they can	4	5.13%
no, parents have no obligation after 18; she decided to move out	70	89.74%
I don't know	1	1.28%
Not my problem	3	3.85%
Voters: 78. You may not vote on this poll

10-12-2005, 06:50 AM	#2 (permalink)
highthief Junkie Location: Ontario, Canada	That's kinda strange, but a good example of the way many societies set arbitrary ages as "age of responsibility". IMO, we pick an age - be it 18, 19 or 21 - and at that point you vote, drink, drive, join the military, rent a car, go to jail, whatever. You also can't expect, at that age, to have momma bail you out. __________________ Si vis pacem parabellum.

10-12-2005, 07:08 AM	#7 (permalink)
docbungle It's all downhill from here Location: Denver	What a vile little creature. Nice way to alienate yourself from your bread and butter. She doesn't like her mom's rules? Oh, man! Better sue! __________________ Bad Luck City

10-12-2005, 07:11 AM	#8 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	no no no NO. what a brat at 18 I had a curfew of 11:30 (even on the weekends) I bought my own clothes, paid for my own food outside of what my mother fixed for meals at home. Hell at 16,17 I did the same thing. this chick is a piece of work __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

10-12-2005, 07:13 AM	#9 (permalink)
Ustwo Pissing in the cornflakes	Are we sure this isn't a fake story? With just a little editing it would fit in the Onion. __________________ Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

10-12-2005, 06:58 AM	#5 (permalink)
canuckguy I read your emails. Location: earth	can't do school and work full time? lol, well how about working full time and going to school part-time. loads of us have done it. welcome to the real world. not getting new clothes is bad? good thing this girl did not grow up in my house! you know whats bad, not having food or shelter. not getting new clothes, boo-hoo. thats what a part time job is for!

10-12-2005, 06:58 AM	#6 (permalink)
StanT © Location: Colorado	If you don't accept your parents rules, you shouldn't be accepting their money either. You can't have it both ways.

10-12-2005, 07:23 AM	#11 (permalink)
Astrocloud Apocalypse Nerd	Wow, I'm the first yes. Having been an orphan -I missed the benefits of having parents. Kids and Parents shouldn't underestimate the value of their own relationship. Normally, a kid that's 18 gets stuff from their parents. Though not fully supported -you'll find that 18 year olds are typically driving mom & dad's old car or getting handouts in some form.

10-12-2005, 07:34 AM	#12 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	While I had no curfew (each outing had a negotiated "be back by" time) and my parents did give me money for "restaurant meals" and "fashionable clothes"--I certainly didn't expect it even before I was 18. Those things were privileges I earned by being a good kid, doing what they told me to, and getting good grades. Once I turned 18, receiving those things was a surprise. Yes, I'm 23 and my parents still pay for my car insurance and cell phone (cheaper to be on their insurance plan/cell phone plan than to be on my own) as I'm currently out of work. But I don't expect them. If my dad said tomorrow that I was cut off, well then I'd be taking the bus and using pay phones (but then I'd be calling Mom collect versus using free PCS to PCS calling), and I have no problem with that. I am thankful for what I have. After I turned 18 I never expected to get anything from my parents. Everything they have given me since that point has been a gift. This girl needs to grow up and realize that she's now an adult and her parents have no obligation whatsoever to keep supporting her. She made the choice to move out. She's got to live with that now. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

10-12-2005, 07:44 AM	#13 (permalink)
zen_tom Guest	In the 'What does the world think about America?' thread - Did anyone mention crazy litigation?

10-12-2005, 08:13 AM	#15 (permalink)
guthmund big damn hero	After reading about this poor, poor girl's hardship, I'm getting a little teary-eyed over here.... I think family should support family whenever they can, but this isn't support, it's extortion. The benefits of having a family, without the inconvenience of actually having a family. __________________ No signature. None. Seriously.

10-12-2005, 08:19 AM	#16 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	"It's ironic for a person to act like an adult, live like an adult and yet not want to have the responsibilities of an adult" dingdingdingding!!! The faster she learns that she is not entitled to ANYTHING in this world, the happier and better off she will be. You had a sucky childhood? Join the club. Besides, if you are an "emancipated minor" you're more likely to qualify on your own measly earnings for student loans. There are plenty of options for paying for school besides taking an immature swipe at your parents' checkbook because you feel like you got shafted in the parental lottery. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

10-12-2005, 10:54 AM	#17 (permalink)
Bill O'Rights will always be an Alyson Hanniganite Location: In the dust of the archives	[fingerwag] Somebody needs a time out. [/fingerwag] Actually...what she probably needs is a good spanking. Come'ere __________________ "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

10-12-2005, 11:24 AM	#18 (permalink)
Carno Junkie	Ugh. What a repulsive little bitch. I hope the judge laughs in her face. __________________ http://how-to-spell-ridiculous.com/

10-12-2005, 11:33 AM	#19 (permalink)
Radarhero Upright Location: I live in a third world or First world. Whatever you want to call it. The land of many nations... South Africa	What's going on with the Kids Never Bite the hand that feeds you! __________________ it happens to all of us...

10-12-2005, 11:45 AM	#20 (permalink)
Lwang9276 Crazy	this is ridiculous.. she says i love my mom, but yea shes suing her.. tlak about end of relationship.. and she thinks work is too hard.. then take out some dam loans.. man what a crazy girl

10-12-2005, 11:46 AM	#21 (permalink)
Destrox Metal and Rock 4 Life Location: Phoenix	Tough shit kiddo, you're fucked. __________________ You bore me.... next.

10-12-2005, 04:47 PM	#22 (permalink)
maskedrider Banned	I couldn't do that to my mom...

10-12-2005, 04:58 PM	#24 (permalink)
Grasshopper Green ...is a comical chap Location: Where morons reign supreme	I moved out just shy of my 18th birthday, and have never expected anything from my parents since then. They've helped me many times since then, and I was thankful, because they certainly didn't owe it to me. I really hope she doesn't win this, not only because she doesn't deserve it, as well as it'll put the idea in a lot of other teen's heads... __________________ "They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa

10-12-2005, 05:22 PM	#25 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	My first job, at 18, I paid my parents rent, bought my own food and clothes. Just before my 19th birthday, I moved out, but that lasted about a year and I moved back to live in the basement, still paying rent, etc. Like Shanifaye, said, she's just a brat. __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

10-12-2005, 05:23 PM	#26 (permalink)
Shpoop Curious Location: NJ (but just for college)	I say yes. Just so that when she turns 22 and is still in college, and the money gets cut off, she will be in for the shock of her life. She has the chance right now to gradually ease her way into a work/school lifestyle...support now means a slap in the face down the road.

10-12-2005, 05:30 PM	#27 (permalink)
ryfo Psycho Location: melbourne australia	Most people who move out of home at 18 realise they are going to have to be responsible for themselves and the bills they create. It sounds like she just wants her own way and has found legal counsel that panders to her 'i want i desserve' attitude to life. She needs to live inthe real world and realise that if her dad did abuse her, she wouldn't want anything from her parents, her dad because of what he did to her, and her mum for not believing her and standing up for her and pressing charges.

10-12-2005, 06:25 PM	#28 (permalink)
Slyboots Tilted Location: Newbury Park, California	I hope to god that the courts wont take her seriously. Even tho im 18, i can’t really afford to move out. Cali is pretty expensive, so mom place is going to be home for awhile. Couldn’t she try for scholar ships or grants? Or at least work part time? __________________ "Ah, yes, divorce......., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." -- Robin Williams

10-14-2005, 09:13 AM	#29 (permalink)
OPgary Tilted	[B]The little bitch could also join the military. She would have support, would grow up and would get educational benefits and at thesame time would make fair money for her age. Hope the judge throws her out of court.

10-18-2005, 08:22 AM	#30 (permalink)
Meditrina Junkie Location: LI,NY	I do not think she should get child support. This line was the clincher ""I'm 18, but I still need support," she said. "I'm going to college. I don't have time to be working full-time. It's hard for me."" Sounds like a spoiled brat to me. There are many people who work full time and go to college either part time, or even full time, and they manage. I don't feel bad for her. __________________ "Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

10-19-2005, 07:46 AM	#31 (permalink)
feelgood Free Mars! Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time	What a pain in the ass, the little shit knows that there's millions of other teenagers that's in worse situation than she is in and isn't suing their own parents because of where they are. All the more reason why there should be a law against people suing for no good reason like this one. __________________ Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

10-19-2005, 09:01 AM	#32 (permalink)
Catdaddy33 Psycho Location: TN	Brat...the "I'm 18 and going to college is BS", I worked during college and got loans and she can too, or move back in with her mother until she graduates or drops out..