Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > General Discussion


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-27-2005, 11:27 AM   #1 (permalink)
follower of the child's crusade?
 
did I fuck up?

Ok... this is a long-ish story, and I'l try to make it as clear as I can, Im just interested in other people's opinions.

Basically I have had an online friend for about 3 years, she is a devout Christian and voted for Bush, and politically we had about nothing in common, but we got quite close - to the extent of talking on the phone, buying presents and so on. She had an "e-dating" type thing with a guy who posted on a board I used to post on, he is serving in Iraq, and I used to fight with hiom and wind him up by posting anti-war stuff. he used to get quite emotional, praying to God that I would be killed and silly things like that, until for her sake I made peace with him.

After a while I got to be friends with him and got quite close to him - he started to confide in me about the relationship problems they had (which I already knew cos she talked about them a lot) - and we got quite close, and he actually invited me to come stay with him this winter for 2 weeks.

In terms of the relationship, she was basically kind of playing him and keeping him hanging on while she was involved with someone else, but there was right and wrong on both sides... and I really tried to stay out of it.. but it got harder and harder. And the more he got hurt the more I started to feel kind of hostile to her, and started to pick fights with her (over things like she is quite anti-gay, whille I am not - since my mum is gay for one thing)

And it got to a point that today I told her I didnt think we were friends anymore and I didnt want to talk to her. She acted really sad, and she called up the guy and was crying about it... and now HE is saying he wants to stay cool with both us and he wont hold it against me if I dont get on with her.

Anyway, I dont know if thats very coherent, and I suppose it might sound silly - its just online stuff after all... but right now I feel like a pretty big shit, and also I dunno if I did something impetous, unfair, and foolish that I'll regret.
__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas
Strange Famous is offline  
Old 08-27-2005, 11:41 AM   #2 (permalink)
Lover - Protector - Teacher
 
Jinn's Avatar
 
Location: Seattle, WA
Nothing says you have to be friends with a girl like that -- if she'd treat her boyfriend that way, what's to say she won't treat others like that. So it turned out that the guy was a more upstanding character than her and --as such, makes a better friend.

What's wrong with that?
__________________
"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel
Jinn is offline  
Old 08-27-2005, 05:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
“Wrong is right.”
 
aberkok's Avatar
 
Location: toronto
It's hard to think of a situation where you wouldn't feel crappy for dumping a friend, no matter how bad of a person they are. I for one am glad that as thinking people, we have this instinct. It makes things hard when we have to break things off with reprehensible people, but it makes me feel like compassion is a natural thing.

I think you're making the right decision, Strange Famous, but to quote Dumbledore: "Sometimes we must choose between what is right, and what is easy."
__________________
!check out my new blog! http://arkanamusic.wordpress.com

Warden Gentiles: "It? Perfectly innocent. But I can see how, if our roles were reversed, I might have you beaten with a pillowcase full of batteries."
aberkok is offline  
Old 08-27-2005, 05:58 PM   #4 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
tecoyah's Avatar
 
You did as I would have famous.....for good or bad, I agree with your actions.
__________________
Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha
tecoyah is offline  
Old 08-27-2005, 06:29 PM   #5 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Chicago
I think the reason you are feeling like a big shit is because her friendship meant a lot to you and you are going to miss it, not necessarily because what you did was wrong. In fact, like the others have said, I would have done the same thing too.

If anything, I think what you did shows a lot of self-respect. You refuse to have people in your life that aren't honest or possess integrity. You shouldn't ever feel bad about that.
__________________
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses
JumpinJesus is offline  
Old 08-27-2005, 09:34 PM   #6 (permalink)
will always be an Alyson Hanniganite
 
Bill O'Rights's Avatar
 
Location: In the dust of the archives
When I read the title of this thread, and saw who started it, my response was...of course.
Just kidding SF. I'm having a little fun at your expense.
The real answer to your question is...no, you most decidedly did not fuck up. Instead of asking us if you fucked up, you should be asking yourself if you really need that kind of drama in your life right now. I think that you know the answer to that one. That'll also give you the answer to your first question. Good luck with it my friend.
__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

Last edited by Bill O'Rights; 08-27-2005 at 09:36 PM..
Bill O'Rights is offline  
Old 08-28-2005, 06:10 AM   #7 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: NC
Quote:
Originally Posted by JumpinJesus
If anything, I think what you did shows a lot of self-respect. You refuse to have people in your life that aren't honest or possess integrity. You shouldn't ever feel bad about that.
Nailed it---add the dittos!
__________________
The sad thing is... as you get older you come to realize that you don't so much pilot your life, as you just try to hold on, in a screaming, defiant ball of white-knuckle anxious fury
mr sticky is offline  
Old 08-28-2005, 06:54 AM   #8 (permalink)
Junkie
 
I agree, JumpinJesus nailed it. You did good.
Xell101 is offline  
Old 08-29-2005, 05:07 AM   #9 (permalink)
follower of the child's crusade?
 
I dunno. I still feel bad. I mean, she was string two guys along at once, but it was only online... and it isnt really my place to judge.

In terms of me being moral, I knew what was going on for a long time, it was just when I got to be friends with one of the guys I suddenly found myself taking the moral high ground.

I found a bithday card she sent me today when I was tidying up my flat... I just feel bad, the guy keeps telling me how upset she is. I really have no right to make judgements on people and their own private lives... I guess at the first test it turned out I wasnt much of a friend at all. But anyway, the damage is done now.
__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas
Strange Famous is offline  
 

Tags
fuck

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 09:28 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360