Are You Gothic?
 

EDIT
This has found to be a hoax.

This is a newsletter that St. Mary's church in Colorado Springs sent out this week:

I stared all the ones that apply to me. I don't thnk of myself as goth at all. I don't agree with the "goth" fad at all but I don't think it's such an awfull thing that you would need to send a child to a mental institute for it.[B]

Hehehe, hope that clues some parents in.

HAHAHAHAHA pure stupidity

Gotta love the sensationalism that is behind this entire article. Maybe they should have done some research before releasing stupid shit like this.

Near as I can tell, every teenager currently on the planet is a goth by these standards. What teenager doesn't request privacy and expect to hang out with friends alone?

They're right about the cults though. Those damn buddhists, that's the worst of them all.

EDIT - did this come from your church or something? Glancing through it again I'm inclined to say that if it's from the internet it has to be a joke.

In my experience, it has been the Church's role to not embrace those which are different from the majority, someone being who they are does not need "reform" and the whole idea of 'reforming through the lord' i find perposterous.

I love the one "Is homosexual and/or bisexual."

uh oh . . . i guess i'm going to need some 'reform' for my ways ;) hehehehe

The religious folk always claim that they are 'accepting' of everyone as they strive to follow Jesus's ways . . .
However, personally, i've found religious people on the whole to be the most bigoted and discriminatory individuals.

Sweetpea

Well shit, I'm gothic...

Hell, if everybody, beside church freaks, answered the questions, they'll be gothic too

In addtion, Doesn't every single human being on this planet
"have an interest in sex"??

i guess we're all gothic ;) This article is laughable, the church's adgenda is also laughable.

hehe

Sweetpea

Haha, someone printed this out and posted it on the bulliten board at work.
We all got a good laugh, but then I realized they were serious, this church really doesn't know shit. That's really scary, when you think that most of this country is Christian/Catholic. And the people who run it...

PS: It's Count CHOCula, not DRACula. They can't even get the name of the cereal right.

Do we know if this is really real?

If its making the internet rounds this fast, I'd be guessing hoax.

They are completely ignorant.

It's Count Chocula cereal not Count Dracula.

Fools!

I guess I'm a gothic. Boy, are my family and friends going to be surprised as hell. I'd better let them know to take care of my son while I'm at the mental ward!! :rolleyes:

I'm Han. I had boyfriend who was Gothic. At least that's what he said. We had a long discussion about that because my theory was that he was Visigothic, tracing his ancestry back to Theodorus the Great.

-Frequently wears black clothing.
I have a large collection of black T shirts, so what
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
and most of them are black
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
Hell, everyone I like could be classified as eccentric
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
Can't say my interest has declined, it's hard to go below 0
-Drinks alcohol.
Ya
-Complains of boredom.
Not when I drink
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
So exactly how much to you need to sleep to avoid Gothism?
-Is excessively awake during the night.
It's called insomnia
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
Comes with the territory when you live in a small house
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
If you don't like people, it's a preferable state of being
-Requests time alone and quietness.
Ahhh, quiet
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
I'm nice to teachers, screw the rest of them
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
I'll ask, but only so I can avoid them
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
Kill, Kill, Kill
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
No boredom, no alcohol, and no internet? Are you f'ing nuts?
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
If it's any good, my head is shaking
-Expresses an interest in sex.
So where do little non-Goths come from?


Damn, I'm a middle aged Goth.

X Frequently wears black clothing: I have several little black dresses that are just darling, and at least a dozen pairs of black shoes.

X Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.: Ohhh, silver jewelry is bad. I'm in big trouble. When did an Ankh become a Satanic symbol? That's a new one for me.

X Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.: Pierced ears are the devils playground!

X Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.: This describes a significant number of my students.

X Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.*: I've never liked sports. I didn't realize until now that this made me a goth.

X Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.: I find much of that interesting. As does, apparently, the person who made this list. I wonder if that person is a goth/Satanist?

X Takes drugs.: I took an excedrin last week.

X Drinks alcohol.: White wine with dinner sometimes, but only if I'm not driving.

X Is suicidal and/or depressed. This list is making me depressed. Does that count?

X Complains of boredom: So every teenager on the planet is a goth!

X Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light.: I burn easily. I wonder if using sunblock is blocking out His light?

X Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through meditation.: Gee, and I've been wasting my quiet time alone reading comic books.

X Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.: I want Count Dracula cereal! Does it say where to find it?

X Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources.: I watch cable, but avoid the corrupted media sources, like Fox News.

X Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.: Whew! Escaped that one. Wait a minute; do Doom and Diablo count here? Dang it!

X Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.: Aha. I only use the computer four or five hours a day.

X Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.: How often would I have to do this to qualify? Is once a week too much? I may have to step up my dancing.

X Expresses an interest in sex.: Ok so being human makes one a goth.

X Masturbates: Again, I need frequency to properly judge. Is three times a week too often?

X Is homosexual and/or bisexual.: I like the and/or here. How long since your last homosexual act/though would it have to be to qualify here? I'm going to see how long I can last without . . . damn.

X Claims to be a goth: Well, gee perhaps it would be better to put this one at the top, so that the rest could be skipped.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

Woo hoo! I scored a 20. What do I win?

This seems like an over the top parody, but, having been raised in a hard core Catholic home, I can see my parents reading through that list and nodding their heads knowingly.

Gilda

This is interesting. Has nothing to do with fashion:


From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goths

Explaining the origins of the Goths, Jordanes recounted:

The same mighty sea has also in its arctic region, that is in the north, a great island named Scandza, from which my tale (by God's grace) shall take its beginning. For the race whose origin you ask to know burst forth like a swarm of bees from the midst of this island and came into the land of Europe. [...] Now from this island of Scandza, as from a hive of races or a womb of nations, the Goths are said to have come forth long ago under their king, Berig by name. As soon as they disembarked from their ships and set foot on the land, they straightway gave their name to the place. And even to-day it is said to be called Gothiscandza. Soon they moved from here to the abodes of the Ulmerugi [ Rugians ], who then dwelt on the shores of Ocean, where they pitched camp, joined battle with them and drove them from their homes.

Since when are Hinduism and Buhhdism cult religions?

Anyone figure out if this is real yet?

Having been raised Catholic, this doesn't seem like the kind of thing I'd expect from them, though obviously there can be isolated idiots.

Living in Colorado Springs, I can say that there definitely is a St. Mary's Church and we're also home to "Focus on the Family" one of the most bigoted anti-tolerance christian groups I've ever seen. Unfortunately, this may be true. The line I found most intresting:

Role Playing Games are the devil and a sign of gothicness.. I guess the 500,000 people who play World of Warcraft are goths.

all religions are cults technically

It does seem more like a fundamentalist type thing that would come from Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson than an actual Catholic church, but I can see some devoted believing that that was real. If it is a parody, it's right on the line, and not so extreme as to be obvious.

I checked Snopes, and they haven't a page on it.

As another Coloradoan, Colorado Springs is our version of the bible belt. Having seen the "Focus on the Famlly" billboards when driving through, it would seem believable.

As much as I wanted to condemn the Christian fundamentalists that devour my town, it seems this was a hoax as well. Searched for "St. Mary's hoax" in Google and got:

Kind of a burn from the other side:

http://stnate.blogspot.com/2005/02/g...catholics.html -- about the middle of the page.

.. Google gives me "St Mary's Catholic Cathedral (719) 473-4633" if you'd like to confirm for yourself. :)

Thanks, I figured as much.

Being that people believe what they want to believe, its not surprising how many people fell for it.

Just because its on the internet doesn't make it true.

Sounds to me like this list is describing a typical teenager, or the typical person whose growing up and figuring out what/who they are.

No, religions are tax-exempt.

Religions are just mainstream cults. Everything started as a cult sometime back in the day. Think of Christianity and Buddhism as Cult+.

And just in case, the the first two definitions by M-W:

- "Sweetie! It's time to get up! Isn't this such a wonderful God-created morning? My word, I do believe we could all have a pic-nic after church and count our blessings. Honey? Are you up yet?"

- "Mom, could you give me a break here! I just ran out of Count Chocula and scratched my Cure CD. Also, I just accidentally brushed my heavy curtain aside and got sun ON MY SKIN, which burned. I'm gonna have to rub my silver ankh on the rash until it heals right. Now, leave me the fuck alone for the rest of the morning! I need peace and quiet if I'm to summon the Great Underlord Shibaboo Crushed Velvet, so that he can show me how to stray even further from God. Then, I'm going to jerk off until I'm raw and sore. That reminds me, could you buy my some moisturizer?"

- "Sure thing, my little cherub! You take such good care of yourself! What kind would you like?"

- "Ah, I forget the name, but it's got some black writing on it on a purple background. It's made with the blood of children."

- "OK, sweetums! What's that noise in your room?"

- "Oh, that? I'm watching Adult Swim."

- *gasp*

Gothic! Oh Noes!

_¶¶¶x..___¶¶_______________________________________________.¶¶¶x
_____¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶x__¶¶x_________¶¶¶x__.¶¶¶x__________________¶¶¶x____.¶¶¶x
___.¶¶¶x___¶¶¶x_¶¶x_________¶¶¶¶x__¶¶x__¶¶¶¶x__¶¶¶¶¶x__..¶¶x..¶x___¶¶¶x
___¶¶x_____¶¶x_¶¶¶¶¶¶x_____¶¶x¶¶x_¶¶x_¶¶__¶¶x_¶¶__¶¶x__¶¶x______¶¶¶x
__.¶¶x____¶¶¶x_¶¶x_¶¶x_____¶¶x_¶¶.¶¶x_¶x__¶¶x__¶¶¶¶¶x__..¶¶¶x____¶¶¶x
___¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶x__¶¶x__¶¶x____¶¶x__¶¶¶¶x_¶¶__¶¶x__¶x________¶¶x
____¶¶¶¶¶x____¶¶x__¶¶x____¶¶x___¶¶x__¶¶¶¶x_____¶¶¶x_.¶x__¶¶x__.¶¶x
______________________________________________________¶¶¶x___¶¶¶x
____________________________________________________________.¶¶x
_______________________________________________________________
______________¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶#########__________________________
_____________¶¶_______#################________________________
_______¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶######################_____________________
____¶¶¶¶____¶¶____#############1111111111####__________________
__¶¶¶_______¶¶___############1111111§§§111####_________________
_¶¶¶._______¶¶____###########11111111§§§1111####_______________
_¶¶_________¶_____###########111111111111111####_______________
_¶¶_________¶________#########1111111111111#######_______##____
_¶¶_________¶__________##########1111111###########_____###____
__¶__________¶___________##################11|11####___####____
.__¶__________¶____________###########1|11|111xxx###########____
___¶________________________########1111xxxxxxxx#########_____
____¶____________####_________######xxxxXXXXX1111######_______
__________________###################XXXX11\111########_______
____________________#################XXX111###########________
_.______________________________######11##############_________
.________________________________####################__________
_________________________________###################__________
_________________________________##################___________
__________________________________###############_____________
__________________________________##############______________
_________________________________####________##_______________
________________________________####__________________________
________________________________##____________________________
______________________________________________________________

Its going to be amusing seeing how many people reply to this without reading the thread and seeing it was a hoax.

Damn... I had two to add to the list:

[X]Masturbates to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

[X]Hangs with Azrael Abyss, Prince of Sor-row, and Circe Nightshade.

I sure miss "Sunshine State Cable Access."

Ha ha it looks like you're not the only one that is annoyed by this. :) I remember when the guy beat Super Mario Brothers 3 in like 14 minutes without dying. It was proclaimed fake like 3 replies into the thread but the next 30 replies were "OMG that guy is SOO GOOD!!! WOWWWW"

I figured it was fake. Most ridiculous parental-type stuff on the Internet is fake...a good example is the "How to tell if your child is a hacker." Blatantly fake yet most people still think it's real.

-Lasereth

Heh. I know its' a fake. But according to this I'm not only goth, I'm Satan. Meh, thats what high-school education does to you.

EDIT: Said fact instead of fake. Yet another thing high-school education does...or doesn't... do to you.

It's not nearly as much fun mocking it if it's a fake. I'm actually a little disappointed.

Ok, I just checked the SMB3 thread. I feel so disillusioned. It's like finding out that the Wizard of Oz is just a regular guy. I mean, it took me something like 2 months to beat SMB3 (which is, by the way, the single greatest console game ever made), and here was some dude doing it in 11 minutes. It's like having a religious belief dispelled.

Now, the jocks who throw the cheerleadr through the basketball hoop, that's real right?

Time to go get out my Brunvand books. I feel so gullible.

Interesting little known fact: Due to an editorial error, the word "gullible" was not included in the Third college edition of the American Heritage Dictionary, though this error has been corrected for the fourth edition.

WOO! I'm gothic.... time to play the part. Even though this is a hoax... I think it is rather funny.

masturbing is supposed to be a sign of gothism? :confused:

/me knows its fake...

I will never be able to look at Count Chocula cereal the same way again... Who knew that was goth food? If I have Lucky Charms, does that mean I beleive in leprachauns, they are magically delicious, and are Trix really only for kids? Oh the pressure for a proper breakfast cereal that doesn't send a message (All bran is just too blech.)

As for wearing a Goth pin that says you are goth.... Umm... I've seen some goth people, you can really tell that they are going for the goth look, do they assume that people are not paying attention that tehy have to wear a sign that says they are goth... (Is going to find a pin that says I am a woman, just in case there was any doubt - I would get one that says I am a bitch, but that is kinda obvious :)

I have a patient who started as the 'classic' goth chick, and would have made a good suicide girl (when she was of age). Its been cute watching her grow out of it though as she is 'less' goth each time I see her. Last time she was wearing pink of all things (the anti-goth color) and had a smiley face button (without the bullet hole in the forhead heh). She still had the dragon pendent leather necklace, but most other goth traces were gone.

So.... I matched with 20 of those.

I guess I'm goth.. didnt even know it!

What a joke.

(The count-chocula one was hilarious :D )

You've got to wonder, though: if Christians were known for being tolerant, accepting, compassionate people all the time.. who would have believed this?

People with an axe to grind. Its currently hip to make fun of Christians.