Elphaba

My mother was mugged in broad daylight at a grocery store parking lot last week. She is a tough gal and fought back, ending up in the hospital. She did her best to assure her daughters that all is well until today. She finally confessed that she is afraid to leave the house, and can't sleep at night.

She is taking the advice of the police officer to get a security system of some kind at her home. It was once a nice neighborhood that has gone downhill over the years. Does anyone have a recommendation about a security alarm that is easy to use for a senior citizen?

I have also talked to her about being less of a target and we agreed she will keep credit cards, cash, and anything else she doesn't want to lose in a thin wallet somewhere other than her purse. She will use her purse as a decoy that can be easily taken to keep her from being hurt again. Does anyone have additional recommendations about minimizing her "appeal" as a possible victim?

My mom is a tiny, silver-haired, great-grandmother. I am enraged that druggies would target someone like her and steal the most important thing she has; her sense of being safe in her community. Any suggestions the members of the TFP can offer to restore her sense on personal safety, would be considered a great gift by me.

maleficent

Ooooh that makes me sooo mad.... She needs to put on her red hat and step out on the town....

Sionce herpurse was taken, were her house keys taken as well? I'd probably change the locks immediately. Sometimes just a sign that there's an alarm system is enough, or at least motion sensitive lights on all the outside entrances.

maybe borrow Rottie the badass looking but wimpy Rottweiller f or a few days - -that dog would be enough to scare anyone.

having a decoy purse is a good idea... when she's out -- is there a friend she can go shopping with?

Are there any kind of self defence for seniors classes she could take?

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cj2112

I'd give ADT a call, they seem to have a decent rep (although I have no personal experience with them)
As far as defending herself, pepper spray is legal in Washington, it's relatively inexpensive also. I'd also suggest that she does her shopping with a couple of neighbors, people traveling in groups tend to be less of a target.
I also would offer to take her shopping if shopping w/ friends/neighbors isn't a realistic option.
I'm sorry this happened to your mother, it also enrages me that people would do something like this to anybody.

Martian

Your typical mugger is looking for a quick, easy target. He doesn't want to hang around, for reasons that are relatively apparent. 'Easy targets' tend to boil down to people who are on their own, people who seem uncertain and (unfortunately) the elderly. When she's out, her best defense is to not be caught alone at any time. If she's out at night she needs to stay in well lit areas and not meander; it's always a good idea to go directly to your car with your keys out an ready, or go directly to the cab if you're taking one of those instead of driving (I'm assuming she's not walking her shopping home). If you are waiting for a cab, make sure you wait inside if possible.

shakran

Forget those. Unless she's willing to devote time to weekly (at minimum) training sessions with a real fighting school, it won't help. Most of those classes last a few weeks (if they last more than 1 or 2 classes) and most of what they teach doesn't actually work.

Elphaba

Thanks, Mal. Sis cancelled all the credit cards, & her husband changed all the locks at home while the "Norwegian Mafia" was in the hospital. The purse was found with nothing missing but her cash. And the bad guys were caught because of the grocery store video tape and that they had made a practice of targeting little old ladies.

She has Sammie-the-badass (a huge Boxer), but last night she dreamed that he was poisoned. Majorly pissed off the poor guy when she got up in the middle of the night to wake him up to see if he was ok. Yeah, he's another Rottie. Pretty much useless in the home defense department.

A class for seniors in personal safety is something I hadn't thought of. Mom has called AARP for information of any kind, and this is a good one to pursue.

My retired BIL got her out of the house for breakfast today, and at 6'7" he no longer allows her to be an easy target.

Inch by inch, I hope she can regain some of her former confidence. Thanks again.

maleficent

I'm not saying that it will teach her to beat down some young punk, but the class might give her back some confidence that she could take care of herself... or maybe not..

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merkerguitars

Do what my grandmother did, get a concealed weapons permit and carry a gun.

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StanT

Doesn't matter, criminals just assume that big dogs are mean. Theirs are. I used to train Picabo in a really bad neighborhood. All of the gang bangers used to cross the street to avoid her. If I tugged on her leash a bit, they'd walk even faster. Unless you are allergic to slobber, she's pretty useless as an attack dog.

chickentribs

Elphaba - I am so sorry to hear this. Somebody broke into my mother's house two years ago and stole her jewlery, credit cards, and just ransacked the place. It is a traumatizing ordeal, and took my mother quite a while to feel safe again. We put in an ADT system in her house, they have been fine. Make sure to use an easy number for your mother to remember for the alarm code... it took 2 trips out by the police before we decided to use her birth year!!

Personal safety, I agree with shakran... it sounds like your mother is probably too old to learn much that could be effective, and unfortunately the classes have been known to instill a false sense of security that can be dangerous in the wrong situation. Rather than pepper spray or any weapon, I got my mother a loud horn that fits in her purse. Studies show they are just as effective for warding off the bad guys, and it can't be used against her.

I am glad your mother is safe and has lots of family to lean on - and I hope the punks spend a little time getting "mugged" in prison themselves.

__________________
Oft expectation fails...
and most oft there Where most it promises
- Shakespeare, W.

Elphaba

I have heard that ADT is a good company and I will pass that on to her. I'm also doing a Consumer Reports search on that. I'm hesitant about pepper spray, based on what I read about it in the Ladies Lounge, but I will look into that, too. Thanks, cj.

Martian, mom is not a night person. This happened in broad daylight. But your suggestion to do everything with a "buddy" is a great idea.

Shakran, I don't think Mal was suggesting that my mom learn to be a kung-fu fighter. But there are some personal safety tips out there for older folks. Things like keeping your keys between your fingers to give a good scratch to the face and such. Does anyone have some ideas along that line?

I can't thank y'all enough for the suggestions you have posted.

Elphaba

Merkerguitars - My mother with a gun? That is sooo not going to happen, and that is good for everyone.

Stan - Slobber is the only real offense that Sammie has to offer. He does scare strangers, if he manages to be awake at the time. My Newfies could put on a fierce display, too, when prompted. They certainly made me feel safe when they were awake.

Chickentribs: She has already picked out an easy to remember code word. "F U C K" does it for her. Can't argue with that because if I felt I was in immediate danger, that is going to be the first word out of my mouth. Did I mention that my mother was pretty feisty before this mugging?

NotMVH

I was also a victim of an armed robbery a year and a half ago. Lifes tough, your mother may never have the sense of security back she once did. What has been important for me was at first, talking about it. Second, the conscious decision that I won't let a couple of heorin addicts wreck my life. Third, I can't control if someone decides to rob me or my home, I can control my actions. It has come down to having a gun in my back and I remained calm. I did what I had to do and I survived.

Elphaba

NotMVH: My mom now realizes that she can't just shrug this off and is trying to do all the things you have recommended, except buying a gun.

MSD

There are two things I have to say. First, stop reccommending pepper spray. Mace works a third of the time, and pepper spray is only half of what's in that. Second, stop warning people tha ttheir weapons can be used against them. If you're going to carry something and not be willing to use it then yes, it can be taken from you, but it isn't any sort of deterrent. If you're going to carry anything, it has to be capably of a 95%+ chance of instant incapacitation of a target, and pepper spray, tear gas,and stunguns/Tasers cannot incapacitate humans that reliably.

Elphaba

Thanks, Mr. SD. My mom would never be able to critically harm another human being, no matter how angry she might be.

Elphaba

Chickentribs: I didn't notice your loud horn recommendation until now. Seems way more effective to me in bringing needed help, than trying to get pepper spray in just the right way that would be effective enough to run for help.

Would a whistle hung from the neck be just as effective?

slant eyes

sorry about what happened.

hanging a whistle from the neck could be used to choke her. as much as i am totally for hurting the muggers, i think in a situation like that, it is better to just let it be. you mentioned she was fiesty, maybe telling her to just forget it and let them take the decoy purse. we can't stop people from being assholes, but we can try to keep your mother safe. as stated before, they want to get away as quick as possible. if she allows them to just take the purse and run, i'm hoping at least she won't end up in the hospital.

once again, i'm sorry to hear what happened

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guthmund

Not to mention it's been my experience that people ignore those loud air horns as readily as they now ignore car alarms and such. Whistles, I just don't know. If I had to go that route, I'd get her a referee's whistle that is attached to the hand rather than hung around her neck.

MSD is absolutely right about the pepper spray. If she does manage to get it working there's a good chance she could spray herself instead of the mugger.

The decoy wallet, on the other hand is an excellent idea. As is the shopping buddy idea. My grandmother was robbed in a Wal*Mart parking lot. The policewoman who took her statement suggested finding a shopping buddy. Last I talked to her, her one shopping buddy had turned into a large roving band of geriatrics.

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Elphaba

I loved the visual I got from that. She's going to need a lot more red hats.

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate it.

Elphaba

I shared all of your suggestions with my mom this afternoon. She was amazed that a community of strangers would come forward to help her. She asked me to thank everyone of you.

Her sense of humor has returned a bit (I hope she wasn't serious). She plans to go out in public with a shot gun. Ummm, Mom, you can't lift one so you'll need some sort of mechanical swinging holster thingy, and everyone in the grocery store is going to be peeing when you walk in. Get used to "Clean Up on ....." whenever you walk in the door.

We talked about what she should have in her decoy purse. Lawdy, this angry woman has some great ideas. She's inclined to package up Sammie poop to give a little heft to the bag.

My momma seems to be getting her smile back. Thanks again.

elko64

it should be made legal for elderly people to shoot muggers. my mother has a personel alarm fitted to her hand bag so when it gets snached the clip breaks and the alarm screams for about 5 mins at 120 decibels. it only cost us about 30 bucks.

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chickentribs

Elphaba - my opinion is that if my mother was ever to deal with muggers again, drawing attention to the situation is the safest alternative. My mother is quite a fiesty woman as well, and that worries me more than anything. I have worked to set her expectation to make any attacker want to leave, with or without her purse. I can replace her wallet or purse, giving her the expectation to fight back is reckless and dangerous, in my opinion.

I am glad to hear that your mother is bouncing back well!

__________________
Oft expectation fails...
and most oft there Where most it promises
- Shakespeare, W.