KnifeMissile

It's tempting to think that there's anonymity on the TFP because no one really knows who you are. Anonymity is a useful and powerful tool that one can use to talk frankly about sensitive or deeply personal subjects. However, I don't think we have that kind of anonymity, here. Strangely, this is a community and, therefore, you have a reputation to uphold here. I don't think anyone will ever take me seriously if I confessed a predilection to pre-pubescent boys or my attempts to surreptitiously masterbate in public so I can fling my semen onto pretty women without them noticing.

It's interesting that, in the anonymity of the internet, virtual communities can form and, consequently, remove that anonymity, like a (real?) community. It's interesting that the TFP is such a community.
It makes one wonder if there are things that people would like to bring up in Tilted Sexuality but can't because of this lack of anonymity and what those things might be. Should this thread be in that forum?

Just some things to think about...

Charlatan

I was thinking the same thing just yesterday.

There are still a few Rookies that come in an post any old garbage... but if you are going to be a regular poster you have a reputation (or you are desperately trying to build one in anycase).

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ratbastid

It's an interesting question. While it's definitely true that long-time or prolific posters develop a reputation and then we're interested in maintaining that, I've still felt very free to talk about thing here that I wouldn't talk about even with good friends. My closest friends, maybe...

I can only speak for my own experience, but I haven't had the desire to maintain a reputation inhibit the topics I discuss or share about from my own life.

ShaniFaye

Im the same me on the internet that I am in person....anyone thats met me can attest to that (except they do say that Im much smaller in person than they thought I would be, but that doesnt have anything to do with my personality). I dont care about a "reputation" cause either someone is going to like me or not, and like I always say....if you dont like me, its your loss not mine ahahahahaha

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ngdawg

Ditto! Was about to type almost the exact same words. Only difference here-I probably look a lot older, less attractive than I appear in my pictures...but you'd have to ask those I've met that.

Nefir

There is definitely something more to the TFP than most other online communities. For me, at least, I am not after anonymity when I post here. In fact, quite the opposite - the fact that I am expressing thoughts that can be linked to me as an individual makes it all seem more worthwhile. There is so much more potential in a community when you know you are building bonds and are becoming a real part of it.

Regarding anonymity keeping people from asking embarassing questions, they can always register a new account just to do this, I suppose...

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flat5

I was a good and helpful member of a forum for maybe six years.
I got booted for something I did not do.
No one used their influence to help me get back in.

In my experience the friends you make on a forum don't mean much.

If you are not a good writer you won't get a big rep. IMO

Zephyr66

I think your right, cause i feel like i know a lot of the people here. For example:
I feel like i know Charlatan from his cameraphone thread
I feel like i know flyman cause he(and his ass) is everywhere
I feel like i know nancy because of her awesome posts in the exhibition board and everywhere else.
I feel like i know ShaniFaye for her exhibition posts and everywhere.

overall everybody's lives kinda unravel with every post because every post revels a different aspect, their job, their family, their SO. The list goes on and on.

I feel like I still have my anonimity though, because I'm just starting to really participate even though I signed up a while ago.

kurty[B]

Dunno... Through this forum I have gone beyond being a name on someone's screen, and have actually made some real friends, for example, veruca... Met her this summer, and we have been in constant contact since, and I consider her a good friend of mine now.

Of course one good friend does not necessarily boost my "rep" with the forum, but I am not trying to get kudos or become the most popular person on this forum. It's just nice to have a place to share experiences, seek advice, and joke around comfortably on the internet.

Ace_O_Spades

I know people on TFP that I know in real life, ergo, there ARE things that the "outside" community bring into this community we've created here. But there aren't many things I won't talk to fallenangel about, so I have no worries in that department.

We share our openness and it's fun.

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Feh.

Fly

you said it Shani.........this is me and this is who/how i am........(just ask splck)


i'm ashamed of nothing......and i'm on this earth for learnin' all i can learn....plus havin' one hell of a good time.


Peace!!!!!!

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BASTARD

SterlingStudios

Hash_Browns

I am myself here! The only thing I don't do is, like stated in the first post, go into tilted sexuality with certain experiences or questions. That however has nothing to with annonimity or lack there of, but more because we (asshopo-member and my SO) have Real Life friends that come to this place, and so those kinds of things aren't discussed

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Smile It makes people wonder what you're up too!

pinkie

I disclose myself to a certain extent. That doesn't mean I'm going to gut myself for a cyber community. There are boundaries to uphold in any relationship though, not just in cyberspace...

El Kaz

There is some kind of anonymity as in you cannot be linked with your "real" self. In reality, your actions in one domain, say, family, CAN have consequences on your "whole" reputation, affecting other domains such as your job.
On an internet message board, while in itself is a community, thus you do have a reputation, I feel it's more secluded from any other aspect of your life. What you do here virtually CANNOT affect your reputation in reality, and vice versa.

So yeah, in that sense, there is anonymity.

EDIT: The exception being of course, when people visit this message board knowing who you are.

noodles

on the one hand, building a reputation is a force that eventually prevents a certain degree of anonyimity (sp? )

on the other, because the reputation starts from scratch, one could make a reputation out of whatever one wants to. in real life, i'm a quiet guy. if i wanted to, i could've created a reputation for myself as being an outgoing girl. because of the anonymity of the internet, who would have proved me wrong unless i did some major slipup? your reputation online is only what you make of it.

snowy

I know people on the TFP and in real life...because of this on TFP I have been "my real self." I haven't disclosed anything on these boards that I wouldn't talk about in real life. I'm a very open person. This is a good thing, as some of these people I know--suffice it to say I didn't know they were on TFP until I mentioned it in a real life conversation!

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thenewguy

I guess I have a different take. The need for me to have anonymity in any forum (online or f2f) seems to be an indication of my level of self-centeredness. If I need approval from someone else, I will shape my behavior according to my expectation of their reaction.

To be blunt - if I'm not okay with myself and what I'm doing, I'll try to hide that from you. Further, I will assign responsibility for my unease to you - hence the idea that anonymity promotes full disclosure.

If I'm not comfortable telling someone else about what I'm doing, shouldn't that be a sign that I might want to stop doing it? Shame is a healthy response to an unhealthy behavior - or at least a behavior that disagrees with my moral compass.

So I'd have to say that the anonymity that does/doesn't exist in the TFP isn't as important as my level of comfort with myself and my actions. If I don't want to type it, I might want to look at why I'm doing it...

KnifeMissile

But that is a lack of anonymity. You have "real life" friends on the TFP who know who you are so, if you were to ever post something sensitive about yourself, they can link that information to you just as well as if you had sent them an e-mail. Therefore, you are no longer anonymous on the TFP.
QED...

KnifeMissile

Unless you didn't mean to say this, this is exactly my point. To quote you, "I haven't disclosed anything on these boards that I wouldn't talk about in real life." Perhaps, if you were anonymous here then you would talk about things you wouldn't in real life...

KnifeMissile

We do have different takes on this.

What you're talking about is, what I think is referred to as, the moral majority. Something is moral, or "right," because the majority thinks it is. I disagree with this notion or, rather, most people will agree that their own notion is what is "right."

In any case, what you're saying is that if others will mistreat you for saying something about yourself then that something about yourself must be "wrong" (in some sense. Morally, for example). I believe this to be patently false.

For example, suppose I have AIDS. This illness has a severe stigma attached to it and for no good reason. The people around me are perfectly safe from me yet they may not feel or act this way. Can you see how I might not want to bring this up in real life? Can you see the value in my talking about my condition? I would be able to do so if I were anonymous, somewhere...

For something pertaining to choice of behaviour, I am a staunch defender of homosexual rights (among other human rights). While I am perfectly comfortable mentioning this on the TFP, I might not be so comfortable mentioning this in real life. Does that mean I shouldn't care about their rights?
Use your imagination and it can get much worse. What if I wanted to defend the rights of a particularly vilified person or group of people? This isn't necessarily wrong but it can have very bad repercussions for me in real life. Even the TFP may not be anonymous enough for such discussions. As is the subject of this thread, I have a reputation to uphold here and if people think too ill of me, I won't be taken seriously...

thenewguy

You couldn't have missed my point more completely.

What I am saying has nothing to do with the majority, moral or otherwise. For that matter it has nothing to do with anyone buy myself. When I talked about a moral compass, I meant my own moral compass.

To your example - if the people around you attach a stigma to you having AIDS, you might want to get around some new people. But if you're afraid that other people will stigmatize you for having AIDS, that speaks much more about you than it does about them.

Why not try being yourself and letting the people who are offended get offended? Then they'll stay that much farther away from you. I would say you'll be in better company in the long run.

If you believe you have a reputation to uphold, you will consequently be limited by your self-centered perspective of others' opinion of how you're "living upto" that reputation. Why live based on what other people think?

Schwan

I have a slightly diffrent take on the matter, I think. Most of the TFP-ers are American, or from West Europe. Now me, living in East Europe, and being one of the few TFP-ers from this part of the world, I find it hard, most of time, to relate, or even find common ground with the TFP folk, especially on matters relating every day stuff (it's easier with universal stuff, like feelings and relationships and so on). On the other hand, the fact is that it's extremely unlikely to meet anyone I might know in real life, and it doesn't matter very much what I say about myslef, or how intimate it is.

Evil_Timmy

You're as anonymous as you choose to be on any given online forum. Some people are extremely open, and will tell you all sorts of things about their friends and family, where they live, that sort of thing. Others are extremely private, and will even go to the point of maintaining an online 'persona'. In other forums that I frequent, I'm not generally very open, but there's a few people who I'd consider friends. I don't talk to these people much differently than my friends in real life, and I've met a fair number of people in real life after having only talked with them online. Essentially, if you feel you don't have any anonymity, it's a product of your own choices and decisions.

Jonsgirl

I personally don't really care about my anonymity. It's not like I'm going to meet any of you soon. And if I do, well, I was (and am) only being myself.
I use Tfp to vent, to communicate, to soundboard, as a psychologist -all kinds of things. I say things on tfp that I'd never tell most people I know.
I don't really care if I make *friends* on Tfp. Of course, I'd like to be welcomed and accepted, who doesn't? But mainly I want a place where I can be open and honest and totally myself. Not someplace where I have to play nice because my job or relationships depend on it.
If I wanted true anonymous status, I'd never say those kinds of things. I wouldn't tell you I pick my nose, that I think Flyman's ass is strangely compelling, or that I was pregnant once. I would make up a name and stories and lurk on these boards instead of being an active memeber of this community.

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woOt?

I've been surfing theTFP since it was posted on FArk.com. Yet no one really knows me. I changed my once which didn't help in buildinga reputation. However, you all are like brothers and sisters. While you don't know me, what I look like or anything about me, I certainly, know you. Weirdisn't it?

K-Wise

Hmm nope. I'm actually the same guy here as in real life. Anything I won't say on here I keep to myself in real life as well...asside from the much needed restrictions on this site that remind me that I need to be a mature adult and watch what I say. Yup if you like me here you'll probably like me in person.

Now I'm curious as to what sort of reputation I've built up here on TFP over the year I've been here. Didn't really realise I was building one either but then again I guess I did I mean how could I not right? Heh.

Asta!!

__________________
"I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project

It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys! - Asta!!

tropple

Crazy as hell, here.

The only thing that people here know that people I see everyday do not know is how much I have to spend on the drugs to let me walk on the street without scaring everyone.

No one in real life knows my name 8-)

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+++++++++++Boom!

keyshawn

Well, one degree of anonymity that's present on the TFP that's uncommon of the internet is our membership requisite. That means, in order to read posts, you need to be logged into your account/persona. Google, or any other random person cannot read our posts without deliberately signing up for TFP. This is a good layer of protection that hal(x) has built into the forums, which I'm happy for. Would you want all of TFP available for anyone to see, all through google or another search engine ? [from a perspecitive of one who doesn't have access to other sections of the site, at least I think there's other parts restricted to 'tilted' and the lower echelon of members]
[there's places like bigboards.com which is just a search engine of forums]

While I have not [knowingly] met any of the other members in TFP as of yet, there's a level of trust and respect, (the admins labor to continually keep this high level here) that I have observed and participated here. Like many others who have responded, I have used this forum as a diary/journal/physchologist. Though this may not be the healthiest,
it allowed us to know each other better, other people collectively [based on the actions/thoughts of TFP'ers], and even know more about myself.

That, my comrades, is a damn great forum

This forum does have a lot in common with cheers, except for the show's lack of intellectual dialogue

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Pragma

I - spending most of my waking hours dealing with network security in some fashion - know quite well that there's very little true privacy online.

However, the "reputation" question is - to me - much more interesting. While I don't really care what people think of me, I tend to portray myself (both in real life and on here) in a certain fashion: a knowledgeable guy, fun to hang out with, lots of crazy ideas, and so on. As such, I have built myself a repuation (don't know if I succeeded in all that I've gone for, but it's a start, I'm sure). Anyone who posts, whether they mean to or not, builds a reputation in the minds of others. After that, it's a question of whether they ensure that the reputation is a good one or "some weird guy posting on a forum I read."

My two cents

hunnychile

As they say in psychotherapy, "You're only as sick as your secrets".

So,who ever is without secrets, cast that first stone....

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KnifeMissile

Okay, I can see this as one interpretation of what you're saying...

Because you must live with other people. It's one thing to ignore a couple of strangers (depending on who those strangers are and what they're capable of) but if most people will systemically descriminate against you, then you've got a problem whether you wanted one or not! By then, it's simple prudence to keep your secret to yourself and, again, that doesn't mean you don't want to be able to talk about it.

It's not that you're ashamed, it's that you know that people are idiots...

KnifeMissile

I also want a place where I can be open and honest and totally myself. However, if no one likes me or takes me seriously, they may not bother to read my posts or respond to my posts seriously and, thus, make my posts pointless. Then, what will it matter if I'm open, honest, or totally myself?

Furthermore, what I'm getting at is that it's interesting that all these problems are exactly the same problems we have in real life, despite the fact that, ultimately, no one knows who I am on this board. They only know who I am relative to this board. It's all virtual: a virtual community and a virtual reputation, is the best that I have been able to characterize it. If anyone can explain this idea better, please do!

KnifeMissile

Yes, but is there anything about yourself you won't say here? If there is, then why not? That's what I'm getting at...

I'm also curious what reputation I have built. I have a sneaking suspicion that few people even recall my name, here, much less my posts...

xxSquirtxx

Just about any discussion board is like that if you stay for any length of time, because eventually, your personality and your will to be unique will emerge. IMO, I think it is very difficult to stay completely "anonymous."

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K-Wise

What you are talking about is anonymity on the boards..what I am saying is I don't use it on the boards...and anything I wouldn't say here I wouldn't say in person either...the only anonymity I have is in my choices...Which are the same whether I'm in person or on a message board. The reason I wouldn't say it is my business..no one elses. Thats probably everyones reason. Few people are totally open about EVERYTHING to anyone. People only recall my name because of the "Green monster" and the whole "Asta!!" thing. Otherwise I'd be a shadow. If I have any reputation here at all I think it revolves around those 2 things.

Asta!!

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"I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project

It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys! - Asta!!

Stompy

No one knows who I am. I feel anonymous. I enjoy that.

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martinguerre

i think i've been smart to keep certain parts of my life off the boards...mostly my RL idenity. i want this place to be freer as a place to work out ideas, and not be automatically bound to what i say for the rest of my life.

i do somewhat miss the loyalty that comes from some of the deeper knowledge. i've been through power struggles with forums before...and very rarely do people act as they would in person. a glint of power with a moderator tag, and suddenly some folks turn to Posting Nazis. It's pretty amazing, imo.

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Cimarron29414

The fact that everything is written here, rather than spoken means that I have time to organize my thoughts and be more prudent. Hence, I won't say that I am the "same" here as in real life.

However, I don't feel like I have anything to lose in here, so I am more honest. People feel as if they have nothing to lose in several cases:

1) False sense of security
2) Nothing was given to them TO lose.
3) No risk of losing what you already had.

The only risk I see is that I might reveal something here that would risk what I already have. If I were to lose this place, I would be able to move on. I like it, but I wouldn't censor myself here for fear of losing something (reputation, bannation, etc.)

onodrim

I would say that I'm pretty much exactly the same here as I am in real life. The only difference is that I can say whatever I want (as long as it's within the rules and respectful of course) at any time, whereas in real life I have some friends who have very different feelings than mine and I have to hold back sometimes. It's a nice feeling knowing that here you don't have to censor yourself, one of the main reasons I like it so much.

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"The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides"
-Carl Sagan

franzelneekburm

You assume that the opinion of the community matters to all those participating in it. That's probably not the case.

Let me demonstrate:

I enjoy watching pornography that features bestiality.