Bill O'Rights

So, last night, in the wee hours, long after everyone else in the house had gone to bed, I'm surfing the TFP, and chatting away on IRC, when I hear this odd thumping sound coming from the basement. My daughter had been watching horror movies all day long, so I'm already a little wierded out. Now, normally these movies don't creep me out, but at 2:00AM, when you are, for all intents and purposes, alone in the house, and you start hearing odd sounds in the basement, it makes for a little creepy. So, after a couple of minutes rationalizing to myself that Freddy is most certainly not in my basement, I proceed to steel myself enough to grab the flashlight and go down there to investigate. At the top of the stairs, I call out with a "Hello? Who's down there?" Of course, 42 years should have taught me that the killer in the movie almost never replies back with "Oh, I'm just a homicidal maniac, come to slit your throat." So, after getting no reply to my query, I proceed to descend the stairs. About 4 steps from the bottom I catch a glimpse of movement out the corner of my right eye. before I could focus the flashlight in the vicinity of the movement, I hear a loud crash, and something bounces off of my chest, hits the floor in front of me, and proceeds to tear up the stairs right past me. After my heartrate returns to whatever is somewhat normal for a 42 year old male smoker, that drinks way too much coffee, it all came back to me. Earlier in the evening, I had sat down with a bowl of ice cream. The cat was getting on my last nerve by begging for some ice cream, so I tossed his black butt down in the basement and forgot about him. When he is in the basement, he likes to lie on top of some stackable storage bins that my wife keeps in the laundry room. Yesterday she had added to the stack a bin full of clothes that our two year old had outgrown. Of course now the cat can't easily get to the top...hence the odd thumping sounds. When he did manage to propel his fat ass to the top, he upset the entire stack...hence the loud crash, scaring himself in the process, so he beat feet to the top of the stairs, bouncing off of me in the process..

The moral of this little tale is:
Sometimes, it's just easier to give the cat some of your ice cream.

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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

SecretMethod70

or get a dog.

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

maleficent

was this a public service announcement as to why icecream is bad for you?

Thanks for sharing your escapade - -pretty funny after the telling of ghost stories in IRC

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paddyjoe

Turn-a-round is fair play BOR. You throw his ass in the basement, and he gives you a heart attack.

Frickin cats...

denim

I give my cat vanilla ice cream drippings. She love 'em.

mo42

Oh man, that's hilarious. For me, not you. I prefer dogs anyway.

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It's not getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got.

boredom

Im a snake person.. that snake woulda owned that cat good!

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Wiggum: Find anything this time, boys?
Cop: Uh, no sign of him, Chief.
Wiggum: Princess Opal?
Opal: I see nothing here, but I'm afraid it's splitsville for Delta
Burke and Major Dad.
Wiggum: But they seem so happy!
-- ``Bart the Murderer''

yabobo

A few skid marks left in the ol'draws?
That would of done it for me....

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Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

JStrider

hahahha

thats pretty funny...

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-=JStrider=-

~Clatto Verata Nicto

mikeysj

haha..i thought you were going to say a robber was there

spindles

well - he is a black cat - he is supposed to scare people at Halloween

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who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

onodrim

I knew there was a reason I always let my cat eat my leftover food, including ice cream.

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"The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides"
-Carl Sagan