Carno

You ever talk to someone who literally has nothing to say, so you're left struggling for things to say? I know this girl, and every time she calls me, she has nothing to say.. I always feel so awkward trying to talk to her. The only thing I can do with her is kinda ask her questions about her day, or tell her a funny story about something that happened to me.. Although lately I have noticed that she is slightly more talkative to me, sometimes she actually tells me things without me asking her.

Anyways, how do yall deal with people who have nothing to say? Usually if I run into someone like that, I can usually find a subject they will talk about, but not with this girl. This isn't a relationship thread, I just want to know if any of yall have ever encountered a person who doesn't talk, and how you deal with it.

It is quite strange to meet someone like that, and so frustrating when talking to them on the phone (or trying to anyways)..

maleficent

there's many people who would describe me that way... Kinda like pulling teeth getting me to talk....

I can't explain why - -it's shyness, not wanting people to get close to me, a lot of things -- but I am somewhat like that.

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Glory's Sun

my brother can be like that at times..and it's very annoying..especially when I'm in a hurry and need him to tell me something grrrr

Rlyss

I know I can be a bit like that sometime, perhaps like maleficent I don't like too many people getting to know me so well. Sometimes I wonder if I'm trying to keep an air of mystery around me or something, that might be partly it.

There are also those people who get right in your face when they talk. Their concept of 'personal space' is a bit different to yours, so they're happy to be really close to your face, lean in, and when you take a step back they step towards you again. Very uncomfortable.

Reese

That's me kinda.. I do talk but I like to get straight to the point and I can usually tell someone my life's story in about 2 minutes. I may have just told 22 years worth of information in 2 minutes but it's still only 2 minutes and people expect more than that. I say what I need to say then I have nothing else to talk about for the rest of the hour.

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Rodney

I've learned, over time, not to try to fill the silence when someone else runs out of words. If there's nothing to say, there's nothing to say. I'm okay with what's called a companionable silence -- two people in each other's company, saying nothing.

The amount of talking that people are willing and able to do is, to a degree, hard-wired. Some people can talk effortlessly for an hour and happily fill the entire conversation space. I know who can't help themselves -- it gets tiresome.

Others say everything they want in a couple of minutes and fall silent. But, following on what cybermike says -- just because you can talk for an hour doesn't mean you'll communicate more of importance than a guy who covers the same ground in two minutes.

I once spent 16 hours in a car, over two days, with a guy who just couldn't let there be silence. The problem is that he'd dominate the conversation -- he wouldn't actually listen to my input, just wait until I stopped talking and then continue with what he was saying. After a while, I just stopped talking and let him talk; I wanted to see how long he could carry a monologue. Six hours -- it was amazing.

After that, I have no problems with people who keep it short and sweet!

maleficent

I am a total non-talker, but I also don't pick up the phone and call other people expecting them to carry the conversation. I know what it's like to not be a talker, so it's not a position I like to put myself in... So I'm not sure why she's calling you...

Well, I do know why, she likes you and she's trying to break thru this problem she has -- If you google on "Conversation Starters" you might find some interesting topics to get her started talking, avoid questions that have a yes or no answer,and when she does start to talk -- Don't ever say "go on" or "keep going" that's just annoying andit calls attention tot he fact that talking is happening.

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KellyC

Yep! That's me, I don't talk much around people whom I don't know very well or not really comfortable with. But then again, even when close friends talk to me, sometimes I just nod and agree, I'm not much of a talker. I too, like to get straight to the point, sometime it's very blunt.

I have an online "buddy" exactly like what Carn describes, she'd IM me and ask me, "How are you?" Then I told her I'm fine, I got busy day and some shit happens to me and I was pissed. I try to chat as much as possible with that girl but every damn time, she just go, "Ok" or "lol" and then awkward online silence *shrugs* What the hell is the point of striking up a conversation if you're not gonna talk?!? It's infuriating. When I strike up a conversation, I try my damnest to keep the conversation going

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Suave

I might fit into that category, although I prefer "strong silent type". I must say though, normally if someone has something to say, I can at least keep up a conversation. The only problem is when neither of you can think of anything.

MSD

Not me, I'm the asshole who tells you his life story on an airplane.

...

But only if you ask.

jizzmasterp

I have met some people that anger me just by the way they talk. Usually its a combination of their voice and personality. I try to avoid prolonged contact with these people.

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Grancey

Not a talker here, either. I do talk when the situation calls for it, using the necessary social skills I was raised with, but talking is not something I choose to do a lot. I really don't enjoy talking except when I have something I want to say, otherwise...why bother? Now, my spouse loves to talk, and so he usually talks about 90 percent of the time. The problem is when he clams up, and then he finally realizes how much he talks and how little I talk.

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stevie667

I can say for sure that i'm a non-talker to the Nth degree, though it's more just due to being shy to a fault than anything else.
The problems i have is that i find it hard to articulate and express what i'm thinking, due to being, as mention before, being very shy. I'm generally ok with my closer friends because they know this is how i am, and will listen to me when i do decide to talk, which is nice.
Most of the time i'm perfectly content with just listening to and observing those around me, it's actually suprisingly interesting when you learn how to read peoples eyes and speech paterns.


I do agree with Rodney and his view on companionable silence, if theres a silence that just rounds it head, let it dissapear on it's own accord.

DJ Happy

I knew a guy like that. He'd call us up and then say nothing. It was bizarre - we never really knew why he was calling to begin with. We'd all get really awkward talking to him, so we'd "pass the buck":

"Hey Liam, guess what? Rob's on the phone. You want to say hello?" (At this point the phone would be hurled at Liam so he'd have no choice but to talk to Rob)

I have no problem with people not talking in my company, but to call someone on the phone and then not say anything just strikes me as odd.

Lasereth

When someone calls me and doesn't have much to say, I respond to their comments and then don't say a word. I just sit there in silence. If they called, they can talk or ask something, but I'm not gonna carry on the conversation for them. People usually stop talking if there's dead silence and say they're gonna go. I have no qualms at all with sitting on the phone for a minute straight in silence. Making up a conversation or small-talk to break the silence just prolongs useless phone calls!

-Lasereth

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sailor

I have a fraternity brother that is painful to talk to. Total math whiz, but he cant get past it. To illustrate, last year I was at a cocktail with my date. Having a good time, and he comes up and tries to mathematically prove to me that 1+1 does not equal 2. Im trying to spend time with my date, but I couldnt get him to quit with it for almost half an hour.

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Untitled

I know a guy from high school that came to the same university as me, and EVERY time I see him, I'm fine with a "hi how are you" keep on walking deal. But no. He has to stop. So I stop. And he just STANDS THERE. Literally has nothing to say to me. So why does he stop? And why does he invite me out for coffee "to catch up"? No one knows...

ratbastid

I'm a talker, but I'm also comfortable not talking. People are funny about silence sometimes, like they have to fill in the gaps. Silence can be very productive.

I knew a girl in college who was painful to talk to for the opposite reason--she wouldn't STOP talking. She was an uber-geek type, who told Interesting and Amusing Anecdotes about her hometown in a sort of monotone drone. One night she and her boyfriend (she actually had a boyfriend!) were hanging in my dorm room with some other friends and she got on a roll. Half an hour later, when I next thought to look around the room, I was sitting in my chair stunned, my roomate had buried his head under a 3-ring binder, and my friend Joel had crawled into the closet.

maleficent

Oh, I've met you...you sat next to me on a flight to Australia all i said was How's it going... 15 hours into the flight, I can't find the off button, or the mute button, and, you're still going...and going... and going.... I wanted to jump out and swim the rest of the way.

You were very polite though, you did give me your extra bottle of vodka (which I needed to anesthetize myself)

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raeanna74

I'm the type that talks non-stop. I know it. I try hard not to do it and I won't be offended if you call attention to it. When I find that I'm talking too much and the other person isn't responding or talking much I try to change how things are going. First of all I ask questions about them or their lives. If anything people like to talk about themselves because that's what they know best. After asking 3 questions, if a conversation hasn't started and they're still giving one word answers I will just shut up. I consider if I've asked you 3 times to talk about yourself or anything else that interests you and you don't take the opportunity then you either don't want to talk or you're too lazy to try to make conversation.

If I end up talking non-stop, then half the time, later I tend to remember all the stupid, innane things I said just to fill the silence. Then I so regret saying anything at all. I guess people who don't talk are painful to me in that I cause myself to look like an idiot.

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water_boy1999

I am in sales so I like to talk. I have to be good at listening too and I have to sometimes draw out the "golden silence" to make someone so uncomfortable that they are forced to talk. Kinda a fun thing to do on a work level. As far as personally, when I am not trying to sell, I do like to be very selective of what I say to others. I have plenty to say, but I don't want to ramble on about things to total strangers if they have no clue what interests me, what I am talking about, or if I think I will be wasting their time. It isn't a matter of being shy because I am far from that, I just think other people might not be interested in what I have to say sometimes. I don't know if it has to do with living in the Bay Area my whole life and people rarely stop just to talk and bullshit nowadays. Everyone seems to be so into themselves that they have lost the ability to speak to a total stranger if it doesn't fit into their schedule.

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maleficent

Funny, I utterly destest talking about myself, and while I'm not a talker, I can turn around any conversation away from me, back to the person, and they arent quite sure what happened. (It's only a problem when I get someone who's just like me-- and scarily enough, they exist)

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World's King

There is a scooter guy around town that I've riden with a few times. He's areally nice guy but he's one of those people that can talk for hours and say nothing.


He's in his late 30's, never been married, and is a massage therapist. That creeps me out. He touchs women all day at work. I feel so sorry for them.

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Carno

I'm not a person who can talk nonstop, but I am fine with carrying on a conversation. If someone I'm talking to has nothing to say, I just take a hint and stop talking, but the person I mentioned is someone that I like, and she calls me all the time, so I feel like I have a responsibility to keep talking. I am fine with silence, but not really when it comes to the phone.
Yeah I have noticed that as well. And also people tend to look at you like you're a weirdo or something if you try to talk to them.

I often rag on my roommates about this subject. They are from Long Island, and are almost scared to talk to people they don't know. It's like they think all strangers must be axe murderers or something. Coincidentally, they have no friends in Florida, and I do. They think I'm strange because I'll start talking to people at the beach or supermarket or something..

Rodney

I also lived in the Bay Area my whole life, and still live quite nearby. I think you're right about the quality about people being into themselves. But what many have also lost is the ability to see a conversation as a partnership, a duet. Many self-involved people around the Bay Area will take any opening you give them as an opportunity for a 15-minute monologue on what's on their mind, with no attention paid to the input of the other party. And in fact, the most extreme of these people will come up and _start_ a conversation just so they can lecture; they can't contain themselves. I live in Santa Cruz, where standing around looking at a book on global warming in a bookstore can result in somebody with a feverish look in their eyes coming up to you and ranting about the inhumanity of it all. There are just so many people around here hunting for an audience. It's got to the point where I'm pretty gunshy about conversations with strangers who seem overly eager to talk.

irateplatypus

i can carry a conversation with anybody for any length of time... but it's rare that we're talking because i want to and not because of the other person. this platypus is an introvert by nature and an extrovert when it becomes a necessity. i feel bad for people when they don't know what to say but feel like they should say something... i spend way too much time trying to help them out. i used to be shy and feel awkward at moments, so i suppose that is why i try harder than i probably should to help people who appear to struggle at times.

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~ Winston Churchill

tspikes51

My ex-girlfriend was like this. She wouldn't tell me anything unless I asked her. We would be on the phone for an hour and talk for about 15 minutes. All we talked about was the weather (for real) and stupid stuff like that. It was rough. I do have problems initiating conversations with people I don't know, but it doesn't take much for me to engage in a conversation with somebody. I'm anxious to hear what other people think, as well as anxious to give my input. When I have to introduce a new topic every time I speak just to keep conversation alive, it tells me that either a) they aren't interested in talking to me, b) they don't like talking to anyone, or c) they are shallow and don't think at all. I don't want to waste my time with people like that anyway.

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ARTelevision

I never find talking to people painful. Some are more challenging than others, but I'm a friendly guy and I think people can sense that. Some of my most rewarding experiences have come from "talking with strangers" so I'm well-practiced.

It's the approach one uses, I suppose.

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clavus

"He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know."
- Lao Tsu

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mad_sn00gans

Oh my god yes...

There is this one dude in my program...he never shuts up when he talks to me...

He is one of these uber nerds who likes showing me the new functions he learned on his calculator watch....yes you read write..A FARKING CALCULATOR WATCH!!!!!!!!

I was with my girlfriend on the train a few months ago and he saw me...he knew I was in a serious conversation with her and he just wouldnt stop talking to me about these stupid lame jokes that made me want to poke my eye out with a spoon..ugh...writing this just pissed me off..

I'm gonna go punch a wall or something...

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The name's Sanchez....Dirty Sanchez

Suave

Did this seriously amuse anyone else?

Anyways, I knew a couple of guys like that in highschool (to top it off, the one was rather unhygenic, and apparently smell travels faster than light in his case), oh, and there was another pair as well, but anyways, they never really pissed me off. I knew a lot of people that gave them a lot of shit (it was highschool, so that's to be expected), but what I realised, and you should realise is that they're just trying to be friendly (or to be friends), and it's not the worst thing in the world to just be pleasant to people, as long as they're not being malicious. I can't say I liked them, but if you're allowing this guy to actually cause you frustration or irritation, you're only causing harm (emotional and physical) to yourself.

mad_sn00gans

Yeah you are right Suave...but I always had a short temper...it's something im working on right now....my girlfriend has calmed me down a lot

If it weren't for her I think I would be quite the bitter person.

You are right though, he is just trying to be friendly....he just always catches me at the worse times....I'm either insanely busy or in the middle of a conversation...

I need some anger management....

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The name's Sanchez....Dirty Sanchez

cjayemail

I used to drive this girl home from school almost every day...not because i had to but because she would run to my car after school and wait for me...now I'm a nice guy and she leaved 2 streets away so i would always comply but she was soo hard to talk to. After talking to her for a few minutes in the car i would have to tune her out and turn the music it, she literally gave me a headache when we talked. It was horreebal

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Chiuey

I was sorta dating this girl for a while some time ago, and we had a lot of fun when we were out at bars or just simply out clubbing. But that all went to pieces when I asked her out for coffee one time. I found myself repeating everything I said becasue we couldn't carry a conversation with each other. By the end of that night, I wanted to strangle myself to death becasue it was so utterly boring, even I was boring myself to death. Needless to say that was the end of that.

denim

As an ADD person, I tend to chatter a bit. I'm the one who will call you and start a conversation. I'm a phone person. It's easier than chattering in person 'cause you can always hang up and they're not right there. Having people right there is more challenging.

bookerV

I went on a date last night with a girl who could only talk about her boring ass job. I did not enjoy the date, but she had a great time... Ugh, I would prefer someone not talk rather than talk when they have nothing to say. Ideally I would converse with someone who has something to say, and can say it. Of course, ideally this person would also be a beautiful rich woman who was madly in love with me... Typically life is full of non-ideal situations Gotta make do with what you have I guess...

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Paradise Lost

That person is called me. Usually people I talk to have ass-loads to say, just no way
of asking them. I'm a shy guy, and hate small talk, so it's hard to really get me talking.

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Soggybagel

How bout the person who is so damn annoying and has nothing to add to a conversation...so yeah that happens to me.

tspikes51

Oh, man, and I forgot to tell you about her best friend, who was the catalyst in breaking us up. She is the only person on this earth that I really cannot be around. On top of her being a total bitch, and stupid, she has the most annoying voice. It sounds like somebody scratching their nails on a chalkboard combined with a cat that swallowed a piece of high-grit sandpaper. I really hate that bitch.

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waltert

im usually the guy with nothing to say unless I know you, im only talkative around people I know and like. the more you know me, the more I talk. I dont usually call anyone (save my SO) without a specific purpose.