Ladies Lounge
 

I can't post in their topics or I will just get modded, so I brought it here.
I think it's a shame that women have to hide like that. I enjoy reading, or as they call "lurking," their board and wish I could comment on a lot of the things. I find that I usually get along with women better in general. Sometimes I can even help the girl out who posts, but I know I can't. I guess men seem to overpower the site, so a space for the ladies seems right, but it just sucks. I wish I could get a woman's opinions on some things so easily.
Comments on the board?

The board is there because there is an overwhelming male to female ratio. If there is a topic that you want to talk about, start a thread here. That's their place to say what they want. I really can't understand the big uproar against men not being allowed to post there. It's the Ladies Lounge, meaning it's where they can go without worrying about us (guys) bugging the shit out of them because they posted something that we don't agree with. Just leave them be, if you post in there be warned, they throw knives.

I fyou think you have really helpful information for someone who posted in the Ladies Lounge, just send them a PM.

If it gets annoying or you get out of line though, expect the mods to be coming your way. Private communication is one thing, but this is not a dating service or anything of the sort and we work very hard to keep the comfort level as such.

Knife thrower here...

The idea is women can talk to each other WITHOUT men interrupting all the time. If you want a woman's opinion on something, or our advice, post a thread in the Tilted Advice forum and be sure to say something like "Ladies, I'd really like to hear from you on this one."

All we ask is you don't interrupt our conversations in the Ladies Lounge. Is that so difficult to do?

When BuDDah started the Ladies Lounge men could post there.
I didn't go in until I was invited but many men took it as a place to troll.
When a woman would post a topic there would be forty responses from men pretty much drowning out the womans voices.
TFP is unique as a board because it offers such a variety of forums.
One of those is a place woman can talk without being drowned out.

Don't even bother with it. If there is a group that wants or needs their own place, so be it. Leave it alone.

If there was a board for one-legged Eskimo Methodists, and it was explicitly stated that if you weren't a one-legged Eskimo Methodist you shouldn't post, then you should resect that.

There are a lot of ways in interact with women on TFP without going where you aren't welcome.

I don't think they are hiding. They just have their own space.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the women read/post in the other forums as well, not just the LL. ;)

Feel free to post on the Full Monty forum if you have an overwhelming urge to comment on the female forum. ;)

Why do you feel you just HAVE TO be everywhere?

Ladies should be able to have their own area.
It gives them someplace to discuss things without the overwhelming MASS of men here on the TFP.

It's someplace nice, for a uniquely female perspective.

Leave it the alone, don't worry about it.
They are NOT talking about you.
And they do NOT need your opinion, at least in this case.

No it's not difficult and I for one think it is cool that the ladies can post without the rest of us guys bugging them.
It's the ladies corner of the board, lets just let them be.

Holy crap. *removes knives and other objects from self* Okay there's a lot to comment on so forgive me if I don't get to everything...
First of all, when I said "hide" it was not an insult to them. I mean they have to hide from all the idiot men here who drool over their posts and words. I was saying I think it's a shame that the idiot men are ruining it for the few guys who want to say something.
And I am looking for anything beyond internet chat here.
And I am not into men, I just would like to have a conversation without the babbling idiot men, too. It's not just the women who get annoyed by it.
Well over all, I really don't know why everyone jumped on me. Maybe you misunderstood or maybe you just hate me. Well whatever the case, just ignore the post. I'm tired of being called all these things I'm not. Bye.

hey now legolas, don't take it that way... we're a tad defensive about our corner, because we have to fight so hard to keep it ours. It makes it hard to talk about it without trying to justify it, like we have had to so much. so, can we try again? ;)

i agree, it does kinda suck we have to tuck ourselves into a corner to get a bit of room to breathe. But, that's the way it is. I think, probably because we're so badly outnumbered. If you really feel the need to help someone, feel free to PM them. I always enjoy getting friendly messages from people, and i'm sure others do, too. If you're looking for women's opinions, I'd post in advise and mention you're interested in women's opinions. We DO see other parts of the site than just the LL, you know ;) i hope that cleared things up, sorry you felt so attacked.

Thanks cheerios. I understand it is hard to keep and all. I just saw the new post at LL and was about to say **** it all to the women here until I saw your post. I don't understand why some women just have the need to attack men like that though. I thought this topic was siding with them if anything. Okay, I know I cannot post in it. I don't have a desire to take over every board here with my testosterone. Please just disreguard the post, at this point I hardly care anymore. You leave me alone and I'll leave LL alone.

c'mon dude, that's not the way to play it. You asked for comments, and didn't like what you heard so told us all to F-off. I try to clear stuff up, and you tell me to leave you alone? This IS a community, that means we communicate. that's the whole purpose of a discussion board, after all. No one's trying to lecture you, here, and I'm definitely not gonna disregard your words if you took the time to type them out and post them for me to see. The way to clear misunderstandings like this up isn't to say "screw it, forget I opened my mouth."

So, If there's something else you want cleared up, or something you want to talk about, give it another shot. I'm more than welcome to discuss the women's role on the TFP with you, if that's what you're looking for. just, clarify a little more, 'cuz we're having a hard time figuring out what you're trying to talk about.

this board is unlike reality. do not try to use logic to explain it

Perhaps I may be able to help. I have, in fact, been participating in the Ladies Lounge. How? Simple, by PMing to the appropriate person. For example, I read a poem that JadziaDax posted about God creating women and really wanted to let her know that I appreciated it and enjoyed it. So I sent her a Private Message. Voila, she responded. Simple. this way, I still respect that I have not jumped into their discussion, but I still participated. In fact, JadziaDax actually asked my permission to quote my message in the Ladies Lounge. Now, everybody's happy. =)

Just a bit confused... no where did anybody call you "these things" or any things for that matter. Try not to take things so personally. You want to converse with women, there are presently 28 other forums in which you can do this.

Ladies locker rooms, gyms for ladies only, women's clubs... I guess these are all myths. I guess I should call up Lucille Roberts and tell them they are not real.

Would you make as big a stink if there were a forum for people living in Ethiopia only? You're not presently residing in Ethiopia, so you wouldn't be permitted to post in there. Would that bother you? If it does, you have other issues to resolve.

I have no problem with gender-specific or otherwise limited forums. In fact, quite the opposite -- it would be nice to have a haven of sorts from "the other side" to talk about periods and laundry detergent (just kidding! :D).

However, I think that the LL should be all-or-none. Allowing men to lurk and scrutinize every post is kind of creepy. If there was a gender option in the profile, I would suggest limiting it based on that. Since there isn't, there are a couple of options. First, make it a private forum that one would need to have a password for or be in a certain group (I'm not familiar with vbulletin's user management or forum management system, so pardon my ignorance). If that's not possible, men can be kept out with few threads with naked-man porn. It works for The Full Monty forum! :P

I guess I fail to see the problem here. The board is "Ladies Lounge", as I am <b>not</b> a lady, I simply stay out. Maybe it's because I'm forty years old, but I doubt that there's anything in there that I (A) haven't heard before, (B) would care to hear about now. It's not at all that difficult guys, if you've got Willie the One Eyed Wonder Worm hangin' between your legs, then stay the Hell outa there. Give the wimmins their space.

I have gotten PMs from a few men that wanted to chat about something I posted to Ladies. That's fine for me. And I also think that some men started the sex toy thread elsewhere in the forums after LL was talking about toys.

I don't think we girls post only in LL and I atleast always figure out where to post when I got some new idea for a thread.

Sorry, cheerios. I wasn't tell you to leave me alone. That was to the million others who weren't being so kind. I have heard enough responses and am fine right now. I can PM or whatever. Thanks again.

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...&threadid=6975

I am not like most men and get greatly offended when I'm included with the stereotypes. I work hard not to have it like that, so it makes my work worthless. I am sorry I made you girls feel threatened. And sorry for being sensitive to things. It's okay, just let it be in the past. I understand now.

What? There is a Ladies Lounge? COOL!!!

IMHO it's not any different than those lounges in the front of the ladies room and ladies only gyms... it's their space to let it hang out without distraction from men. And us men, we get weird ideas about what goes on in there... it's not all sapphic... it's just people trying to do what they need to do.

I read their forums once in a while.... well I did in v3.0, but since this one has been up, not once. Why? dunno... there's more than enough to read and comment on already.

When I first registered way back in the last days of 3.0 I went to the ladies lounge.. Once. The very first topic I looked at was about .. some sort of feminine problem. Never felt the need to go back since. Legolas, what you have to understand is that woman, as a rule, are whiners. Above all us they will complain about SOMETHING. And normally they are way off base. They also make alot of assumptions and generalizations. Of course so do men because I just made one but really .. again as a rule woman are defintly worse. They will run out and find the most scumbag man they can find because they want a "bad boy" or because they can not control their primal urge to find a hunter and a fighter even though that is totally useless in our socitey today.. Then they will make such comments as "all men are scum" NO you just surround yourself scum. They are also control freaks.

BBtB:
Would what you just wrote there qualify as gran scale whine full of generalisations? :)

Well of course

But I have found in my days that the woman complaining about men defintly out shines the men thinking about sex.

I think that you haven't been dating a lot of men and havne't heard them whining? :) I think that men don't whine in the open, but in the bedroom, both sexes have something to say after someone starts the querrel.

Well now you are getting specfic. I am talking just ingeneral everyday whining about everything. And sure there are men that are whiners. I am not denying that. I am just saying that woman (if just by a thin margin) are the bigger whiners.

Un-hijacking the thread
 

OK, to try and bring this post back on track, here we go.

The LL was designated as women only not so the ladies could "hide" but so they could have their own place. A place where the fairer sex could go to chat and have "girl talk" without us guys buttin in all the time.

Back on the 3.0 I read posts in the LL and even replied to a few of them. Then the LL went ladies only. I still read the threads but don't post cause that's the rules. If I see something I want to comment on, I use the PM.

One other thing to remember is all the whinning and bitching about it won't change the fact it's lady's only. This is the Unites States of Hal. His game, his rules. If you think a thread would do better with lots of male coments, start a new thread about it in General.

Re: Un-hijacking the thread
 

Yeah, I noticed that. The old ome said men could post if the woman posting specifically said men could respond or they were invited too, but now that's gone. I say good for them, you can hardly blame them for wanting a place to themselves. No need for anyone to get defensive, IMO. ;)

how about I just state that these are rules
these rules will not change in the near future
please learn to live with them

See? A guy can't even state his own opinion about women without getting jumped all over by a woman.
This issue cuts both ways ladies.
Where are the male-only spaces? (I don't mean male-dominated, I mean male-only. Dominated implies conflict, which is draining. It would be nice to go somewhere to discuss things without having to constantly defend myself)

I think the LL is a great and valuable space for women, but I do feel a male-only space would not be a bad thing. Some things men (and some men) can only discuss amongst themselves. Women usually aren't as aware of these issues as 1) they don't experience them (i.e. negative stereotypes about men, impotence) and 2) they don't know what they are, as they're not usually present when they're discussed...

i was registered before the "no men allowed" rule was made, and then was booted out once the rule was enforced.

it is a new concept for me. if i happen to come upon a group of women conversing in real life, i would have no problem "making it my business". But here there are rules i have to follow if i don't want to be banned. i have a feeling that many other male members have the same problem; they are used to rights in reality and then have restrictions on tfp. just another circumstance to adapt to.

JackSpratt I guess the main reason why we don't have a Men only area is that there are so few females to begin with, due to the fact that it is a. on the internet and b. is a site which grew out of an adult material oriented site.

You see if a lady were to post in the General area with a female specific topic, the VAST majority of the replies would be from men, and that may not be what she wants. In the LL she can be gauranteed only to get female responces.

Think of it the other way round: If a man posts a male specific topic, he is only really going to get male responces, with maybe one or two female replies, hence the reason a Men Only Area is not really a requirement. If the population of the TFP was more a 50:50 split then sure a Men Only Area would definately be a good idea.

As for responding to threads started in the LL, if you feel you MUST respond (to defend yourself or whatever) just start a new Thread here, and [quote ] the required material.

-C.S. Flim

CSflim gets the gold star on this one. At one time men were allowed to post in there. And, it seemed as though there were more men posting in the LL then ladies. I still don't understand the big deal. It's their space, leave them be. If you want to discuss something that they're talking about in there, bring it out here. Women are in the minority on the board, and what's the big deal if they have their own little corner of the board to discuss whatever they want? Give it up guys, it's not that big of a deal.

I feel all creepy and dirty if I go in there... kind of like a peeping tom.

C.S.Flim,
I totally see your point in retrospect. Just the sheer volume of men on this board would tend to overwhelm what might otherwise be a more female-focused (and potentially more worthwhile to the original poster) discussion. I really feel no need to contribute to those conversations actually anyways. Thanks for pointing it out so well. I also see your point about the majority of responses to posts on the general discussion boards (and others) coming from men. However, I have found in my (albeit brief and mostly lurkerish) time here that certain topics draw alot of female response (i.e. rape of men, sexual harassment, etc.), some of it frankly derisive, some of it not so. A male-only space would allow these topics to be broached in a less judgemental space. Perhaps its just me but in my personal experience outside this board, there are topics I will not broach when there are any women in the room, but perhaps thats just me. In any case, I won't be losing any sleep over it, its not that big a deal, more of an intellectual issue of fair play (I have a great love of debate and constructive dialogue), and when I am consistently offended, I find the Ignore User tag works pretty darn well. :)

I'm a one-legged Eskimo Methodist, and I demand my own forum!!!

I second this. A men only space would be useful for some topics and I would feel more comfortable saying what I felt about some things. In real life you have groups of friends that have both women and men and some that are just guys, and you talk about different things with each.

I think the women have it right with their LL. Men definitely shouldn't be allowed to post in there, and maybe not lurk either.

Although, on the other hand, maybe we should take greater advantage of the fact that the internet is probably the only place where you can have a completely honest conversation between men and women on a lot of these gender-related topics.