MooseMan3000

So I work in a small grocery store/restaurant, and every day at LEAST one person comes in and asks me "do you have any low carb beers?"

I'm like yeah. They're called "lite," you fucking jackass.


Of course I can't say that, so I start listing them off:

"Yes, we have Miller Lite, Bud Lite, Shipyard Lite, Rock Green Lite, Sam Adams LITE..."

You can probably figure out the rest.

Anyway, my point is... PEOPLE. GET A FUCKING CLUE.

That's all.

MSD

I just generally want to kill people who follow the low-carb craze. Everyone I know who's tried Atkins or South Beach diets has gotten quite sick or lethargic enough that they sleep 16 hours a day.

It's a fad diet, people. It won't stand the test of time. You'll die of blocked arteries by the time you're 40.

Xell101

All this low carb stuff bugs the hell out of me. They're killing food!

choskins

I saw Bud's new billboard campaign. It says, "All lite beers are low in carbs. Choose on taste!"

I thougt it was pretty funny.

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Phaenx

I think it's funny when SUV's explode.

Low carb SUV's.

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MooseMan3000

Heh. THIS is funny:

We carry several different distributors' lines of beer (it would be silly not to), but the beer delivery guys have little rivalries going on. They're always fighting for fridge space and display space. The funniest I've seen was the Bud guy (American Distributors, I think) put up a poster saying just that. "All lite beers are low in carbs. Choose on taste."

Then when the Miller guy (Nappi Distributors ) came, he put up a poster directly underneath that that said "Bud says choose on taste. Thanks for the endorsement."

I can't tell you how mad the Bud guy was when he came in and saw that. It was classic.



Seconded.

Low-carb is retarded. You want to get thin, cut calories. And excercise, fatty.

And get a brain.

KellyC

I used to work in the restaurant a couple month ago, its pretty small. And it pisses me off everytime a customer comes in and ask "where is the toilet?" when it can clearly be see from the front desk. That and their horrible tipping!! A party of 4 comes in, eats 30 bucks, leaves 2 dollars + some change and huuuge mess!!! If they're gonna tip shitty, at least have the decency to either clean up themeselves a little bit or to not eat like sloppy pigs!
/rant

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Rlyss

Some people just don't make the connection between 'lite' beers and low-carbohydrates. In Australia 'lite' beers are low in alcohol, and we don't give a damn about carbohydrates in beer.

I've only heard of 'lite' meaning low-carb in the past few months.

dirtyrascal7

i can't wait for this low-carb craze to die. i was in waldenbooks the other day and 3 of their top 10 best sellers were about low-carb diets. come on people, stop trying to find "quick fixes" and change your god damn lifestyle.

i was in a grocery store about a month ago and i saw a sign for low-carb bread, which happened to have 45g of carbs per serving. it's ridiculous that people can paste "low-carb" on literally anything, mark up the price x2, and sell it like they were giving it away. it's truly sad how nieve the average american is.

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Ockhams_razor

Sigh, we are all customers. Learn from their mistakes.

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*Nikki*

DOESNT ANYONE KNOW HOW MR ATKINS DIED???????????

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE.WHY THE HELL DO THEY DO THINGS JUST BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS???

OFKU0

I believe he died because of slipping on a piece ice, banging his head hard enough to not regain consciousness from the coma he slipped into.

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denim

I find "low" carb works for me. The thing is, it's relative. "Low" carb, compared to what's normal for this culture, is actually normal (read: "healthy") levels of carb.

wonderwench

That is correct. In response to the criticisms of low-carb diets, there is a strong correlation to the high-carb diet craze and Type II Diabetes, which has increased dramatically in recent years.

I follow the Caveman Diet:

What can learn from the Caveman diet?

I don't think anyone would suggest that we start spearing wild game and fish and rely on a few berries and root vegetables that would could gather to feed our families, but there are some important nutritional aspects to look at when we consider what the cavemen subsisted on. Researchers and advocates of the Caveman diet claim that we have departed so far from Paleolithic eating that 55 percent of the North American diet is "new food" not eaten by our stone age ancestors. In general, the caveman diet's subsistence ratio was 35% plant and 65% animal. This suggests that humans evolved on a diet that was primarily animal based and consequently low to moderate in complex carbohydrates, high in protein and low to moderate in fat. If the caveman's diet sounds familiar, it's because many of the low carb, high protein diets of today such as Montignac's Eat Yourself Slim, The Atkin's Diet, the Zone and the South Beach Diet have adopted this line of thinking when it comes to weight loss and healthy living.

analog

No, that is one of two opinions.

There are two very strongly opposed viewpoints of the way Atkins died. One is that his "slipping on the ice" was actually "a massive heart attack/stroke that dropped him to the ground like a hot potato" and the head injury and coma was the result, whichever happened. The autopsy done on him was poor and inconclusive (in that it was vague as hell) as to his exact physical condition at time of expiration. His body was cremated, and so no further tests could be performed.

We're not turning this thread into a discussion on it, though- feel free to make another one about what you think happened to the guy. Stick to the topic please.

I hate customers too, they always come in and ask the most asinine questions. Who are these people? Don't they grow up learning common sense like the rest of us?

Sion

Common sense is anything but.

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maleficent

"This job would be great if it weren't for all the fucking customers" -- Kevin Smith, Clerks.

OK, so you expect the customers to be smarter but isn't the customer entitled to some customer service. I can't tell you how many times I have walked past something and not seen it - then I'll ask the person who WORKS there -and GETS PAID TO HELP where something is (and I'll ask nicely) only to get an attitude like I am the dumbest person in the world.

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samiam

Since this is all over the map anyway, I would like to add my two cents worth. As a customer, I find the level of inattention and rudeness among clerks these days horrible. The other day I was told by an empoyee in a store that they didn't know where an item was because they worked there. Maybe it is time for both sides to call a truce. Clerks could offer some more customer service and we customers could stop acting like King Jerk.

Merlocke

I only hate the customers that don't wanna pay.

I work in tech support. We have limited "free" support because I need to eat too dammit. And when someone wants to get in for free just because their issue is "urgent" and their job is depending on it, perhaps they could pay up in order to keep their $80,000/year jobs so that I can keep my $40,000/year one.

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phyzix525

I think the two job that I have had the worst "customers" were selling cars and waiting tables. When you sell cars you are imediately the bad guy no matter how hard you try to be nice to some people they treat you like shit. the same thinkg for waiting. Even though minorities are some of the worst tippers they are usually pretty nice. (untill they find out you charged them for chips and salsa the cheap bastards.) Its the white people who can be really mean. And sundays are the worst, tons of kids and mean people, also lousy tippers cause they gave all their change in the offering bucket. It is people who try to get the meal for free that just piss me off. I remember once sitting at a table at another restaurant and these people kept getting on to the server. they called over the manager and complained and tried to get the meal for free saying that the server was being rude and what not. So I interupted the conversation and told the manager that the server was doing a great job and the people were being a pain in the ass.

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Rodney

Yes, well this "the customer is always right" stuff isn't true. Sometimes the customer is dead wrong. Sometimes the customer is a conniving shithead. Just like in life. But, stupid questions are the inalienable right of the customer, and you have to put up with them. It's not like they're being rude or anything, they just need information.

I have a theory that the customers who really complain obnoxiously are mainly the ones who are out to get something for nothing. Most regular folks who get shafted as customers say nothing -- they just don't come back. Others, like me, will say something politely to get service on track. But if the wait staff or sales people are too incompetent or obtuse to get the hint, _then_ we leave. And don't come back.

Because you can heap all the blame on the sales person or waiter, if you want, but really it's management's fault. They're paying shit wages, or not being careful who they hire, or not supervising the help well, or not training them at all, or all of the above, and the result is crappy service. When you're cutting prices, as a merchant, service is the first thing you cut. In today's get-it-for-the-cheapest price mentality, service in chain retail stores especially in practically nonexistent, except in those departments where there's big money to be made. Go into a typical department store today to buy some casual clothes, and you're on your own. Go into the men's suits department, however, and there's a salesman at your side instantly.

MooseMan3000

No, mal, it's not that. It's the stupid questions that get me. If someone asks me if we have a particular kind of beer, or if they ask for recommendations, I'll give them with no trouble. If they ask where something in the store is, I'll steer them in the right direction. If they ask for clarification on something on the menu, I'll help them out. Hell, if they ask where the bathroom (clearly labeled "RESTROOM," usually asked when they're about 2 feet away from it) I'll cheerily point it out.

It's when they ask us where another store is, because they'd rather eat there (which happens a couple dozen times a day). It's when they ask "Do you have low carb beer?" It's when they ask "Do you have a regular Italian?" What the FUCK is a "REGULAR" Italian? ("Italians," by the way, are a certain type of sandwich which only seem to exist in New England, though I've seen similar sandwiches called "grinders" elsewhere.)

I understand that sometimes you miss things. Sometimes something isn't obvious. But please, PLEASE, think before you talk to me. I have LOTS of things to do, and answering dumb shit questions all day is not one of them.

In the US, it's always been that way. Technically, they're touted as "low calorie," but since carbohydrates are the source of those calories in beer, it's not hard to put 2 and 2 together. The definition of a lite beer in the United States is low carb. If you haven't figured that out yet, you shouldn't be drinking anyway, because you need all the brain cells you can spare.

isis

I work in a movie theatre that ONLY accepts cash. This is for speed purposes because we only have one box office, right?

We also have a bank machine located in the lobby for easy use. I worked last night. I don't know how many years my theatre has been in operation, or how many times these people have been to the movies, but they don't seem to understand that we "DO NOT TAKE VISA, MASTERCARD OR INTERAC". I nicely point everyone to the bank machine in the lobby. However, yesterday, the bank machine ran out of money. Suddenly, I got a swarm of complete assholes yelling at me. I couldn't control the bank machine, I'm sorry. I instructed them to walk 15 feet out the door to the other bank machine and recieved some of the worst looks I've ever seen. I'm sorry people, I'm sorry..

Another problem with customers I have is when they order copious amounts of food, yet NEVER HAVE ENOUGH CASH TO PAY FOR IT. The prices are clearly marked, and if I see someone only having a $10 asking for about $15 of food, I mention the price early before I make anything. Yet, they seem shocked and intrigued that the price is like that. If they need a quarter, I pay out of my own fucking pocket. However, they are't [edited] getting [/edit] me for $5. I'm sorry the prices are high.

I could go on for hours, people are just so.. ignorant sometimes. Signs are an easy thing to read.

skier

I usually find inept/rude customers more amusing than anything else. It's not that hard for me to remake a smoothie every once and a while because a customer thought ordering a smoothie that lacks sorbet and is made with cranberry juice would be sweet not tangy. Or even when they order one drink and expect the completely different one that they thought up in their head and forgot to tell me about. Or attempting to order a smoothie from me when i'm doing cash out at the till when there is a 2' large sign clearly displaying "closed" directly in front of them. They actually look around the sign trying to order, then are suprised when I tell them we are closed for the day.

I can even take the customers that give me mean looks because they are having a bad day and are taking it out on me. Or when they miss the 10 people in front of them waiting for smoothies when it's busy and ask me why we are taking so long with theirs. I'm not my fault we're understaffed and some busload of tourists just came through. Go yell at someone else, and have a great day.

What I can't stand is the people that automatically put me at a lower level than themselves because i'm working at a franchise. As if I am less of a person for serving them their drinks, as if I have no ambition of my own, and I'm working here out of choice, not necessity. As if because i am 18 and working a poor wage job i'm supposed to wait hand and foot for you while taking your shit and abuse with a cheery smile. I am no less a person than these customers, and should not have to take their bullshit. It's not their actions. It's their attitude that I have trouble with.

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fallenangel

The low carb phase is killing me, i work in a Bakery!!! And the area that i'm in caters to business people or highly urbanized-talking-on-cellphones-while-sipping-their-frappuccino-multitasking-healthnutty-fast-paced kinda people who want EVERYTHING in the BAKERY in low carbs... *sigh* "do you have low carb cookies, bagels, muffins, donuts" Listen, maybe you wouldn't need the locarb shit if you stopped buying so many donuts, cookies and muffins *sigh*...


sorry for my rant. *Grumble*

Atkins is taking over the world... make it stop

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SinisterMotives

Fallen Angel, that's similar to what the yuppies who frequented an Italian restaurant I used to work at dreamed up among themselves. We had a single marinara sauce that we used in practically everything, and we cooked meatballs in it all day long. For some reason people started asking for lasagna with no meat in it, so we scooped out all of the meatball fragments in the sauce for some of the lasagna trays and sold them as "meatless". As time wore on, "meatless" somehow evolved into "vegetarian" in the customers' minds, so whenever they asked for vegetarian lasagna, they got meatless. I thought it was hysterical in a way that the hive mind invented a product we didn't even carry and accepted what we gave them as what they asked for.

Phaenx

Definately.

I work the shoe department at Sears here in Columbus (Polaris specifically. Columbus members, word). I came in to work one day and dropped my lunch off in the break room fridge then head on out to work.

I see a middle aged woman pacing around the fitness equipment with a quizzical look upon her wrinkled brow. I continue on my journey down the marble path. I lock eyes and nod:

"How are you doing today, Ma'am?"

"Hi, do you work in this area?"

"I sure don't, but I can go hunt Bob down if you like."

"NO! Don't even BOTHER. There's NEVER anyone in this AREA! I'M GOING TO PENNIES!1!!"

"Okay. *doot do, goin' to shoes*"

Then I walked off. Later I took the girl I work with home.

The end.

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"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy

Rodney

I don't know what it is with the age thing. I'm finishing a teaching credential program, and they had some grads come back to talk to us after finishing their first year in the classroom. And the first thing that the parents ask young-looking teachers (especially women) is, "How old are you?" Like, if they're too young the parents aren't going to listen to anything they have to say.

Of course, this kind of bullshit is going to work in my favor when I get a class. Because I'm a guy and in my 40s, so the parents are going to assume I know what I'm talking about and accept my judgment. Even though I'm just a rookie like all the rest!

Blackthorn

I work in consulting and right now my client, who is one of the largest companies in the world, is riddled with hateful and bitter people. I don't know how these people stand it even being around one another. They all hate each other and the one thing that unites them is their hatred for ANY service provider. Pitiful to go through life that way but that's how they are. I don't hate these people per se but I do have a very healthy disrespect for them and some of their contrarian behavior.

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eribrav

**I got edited because I flamed this person while complaining about their own post being offensive. Ah, sweet irony.**

MOD NOTE: The above quoted material was since edited to no longer be offensive.

fuzyfuzer

those elusive things called customers take me away from my real job, making animals out of gloves papertowls and plastic knives. Curse the Mother Fuckers.

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santafe5000

On the other side of the coin, is the person waiting on you, who says " Oh, your on such and such diet", just because you ask for a certain item on the menu.
I don't fad diet and am amused by those who do. Eat less and you will lose weight. Plane and simple. Less Calories=Less weight.
Anyway, I usually reply, "No, Do I look like I need to diet?" Really makes um squirm.
Not everyone is a sheep following the herd.

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Macheath

Because this is mainly an American board, here's an FYI for dining etiquette in Australia and England.

See this:

<img src="http://www.new2uk.org/Templates/images/knifeforkfin.jpg">

Knife and fork side by side at 6 O'Clock. It's the sign for "my meal is finished, please take this plate away."

It's NOT the sign for "I'm not REALLY finished dinner; I think I'll leave this little scrap of bread here on the plate so I can eat it 10 minutes after the rest of my meal for no good reason."

I'm a waiter, not a mindreader. You want a mindreader, go to the circus.

shakran

You can't be too hard on 'em for that though. I mean, in Germany you put your fork/knife half on and half off the plate to indicate you're done. In America you cross them on your plate (well actually few people know this anymore, but still). . .

Macheath

Yeah I know, but I am hard on them still. Why? Because it's frankly EMBARRASING for me as a waiter to have someone give a very SPECIFIC sign that they're totally finished and then jump when I do my job. I'll ask the whole party if they are finished and this one dope will always be engrossed in conversation or half-comatose with that last precious piece of bread still to eat. Heh...yes, this happened the other day.

I try an learn the rules when travelling. I know the rules for America and I also know not to keep my chopsticks stuck in the rice when eating Chinese food.

I'm not really that pissed off. It is interesting to talk about on an international forum.

There's a good side too. I've found quite a few parents unbelievably grateful when I give their kids pages from a coloring book and a few crayons; and the whole table is so much less messy when you do that.

Good not to be serving drunks anymore - try satisfying THEM with a coloring book.

Wax_off

two things. One, everyone bitches about the bad customers who ask stupid questions, but they don't appreciate the good ones that they never hear from. I guess that's human nature to fixate on the things that annoy them.

Second, low carb diets actually make some sense. The insulin cycle is a pisser and causes a lot of health problems, including weight gain. Atkins is a bit extreme, but lots of people could be more healthy if they cut down on the processed carbs and ate more whole grains.

Bentley Little

I say if you want to get thin, stop drinking so much beer!

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Xell101

Macheath, I wish more of the waiters around where I live were more bold in their plate retrieval. I usually end up waiting for a while with my silverware clearly in a position on the plate where it won't be used. As in crossed over the middle (which I always figured was self explanatory) or side by side pointing out at 2 o' clock usually.

I don't know why but that strikes me as incredibly funny.

ShaniFaye

I learn something new everyday....I had no idea there was a way to place your silverware on a plate when you were finished, I've always just put my plate off to the side with my napking on top of it.

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

omega2K4

Yeah, well, I know to "cross" your silverware when you're done, but I rarely use it (mainly when I go out to somewhere nice), but I mainly just throw whatever trash is around me onto the plate and push it away from me, or set it near the edge of the table.

I like the diet I'm on too. It is called "I eat whatever the fuck I want to" diet, and it works. I think. I just know I'd rather eat dangerous, delicious food, rather than healthy, food that tastes like shit (for the most part).

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