mothers against masturbation - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Slayer · 03-30-2004, 04:17 PM

LOL I thought it was serious too in the beginning

fuzzix · 03-31-2004, 06:05 AM

HAhaha, sheer brilliance

sexymama · 04-01-2004, 09:42 PM

I almost bought it. I was all ready to explain just how good masturbating vs. sex is for teenagers.

(Although I must admit I was shocked when I learned my young son was ALREADY doing it. He just seemed so young. I thought he'd wait until he was at least --- well, let's say -- 30 or so.)

oldtimer · 04-03-2004, 10:07 PM

WHAT?!? I don't think she's kidding guys...

Wait a minute. Hilary Duff in gangbangs... definitely never going to happen.

ooiizzi · 04-04-2004, 05:33 AM

Great satire!

majik_6 · 04-04-2004, 04:29 PM

Oh my...I, as many posters have also said, believed this as I first started reading (although I wondered why anyone of that mindset would be on the TFP), but as I went along, I came to appreciate this piece for (what I hope) it is: great comedy!

That's truly a fantastically written piece. This is just what I needed to get my mind off some stuff.

Captain Canada · 04-05-2004, 01:49 PM

Haha. That's great!

Eowyn_Vala · 04-07-2004, 05:41 AM

lol
great piece

at first i was like WTF? this can't be true, OMG! Then the more I read I was like this isn't real, it can't be!

Good for a laugh though, I know a few gullible people who might actually believe this too!!!!! HE HE HE

Elitegibson · 04-07-2004, 12:04 PM

Nice satire. All I have to say is no MAM.

ssh_agent · 04-08-2004, 02:43 PM

excellent. and i was just readin today that frequent masturbation was good for you ( )http://uk.news.yahoo.com/040407/12/eqj15.html

animosity · 04-08-2004, 05:43 PM

i was mad then shocked then mad again, then laughed for a few minutes...

good one,

SVT01Cobra · 04-08-2004, 10:16 PM

Jeez, I thought you were SERIOUS!

I stopped half way, and was about to ask what the hell was wrong with you, until I saw the posts under it.

It reminds me of a friend of mine who got caught masturbating by his dad, and his dad beat the shit out of him with a hockey stick.

hunnychile · 04-10-2004, 05:42 PM

Better to masturbate than to go postal with an Uzzi!

LOLs!

ibis · 10-29-2004, 10:56 PM

You had me going there for a minute. Holy crap, I was about to flame!

skier · 10-29-2004, 11:13 PM

wow back from the dead.

Latch · 10-30-2004, 06:40 AM

still good to read again.

RMMsGirl · 10-30-2004, 01:24 PM

I, like quite a few others, thought you were serious at first. It was great.

Ramallah · 10-30-2004, 03:04 PM

All masturbators and liberals eat babies.

Fearless_Hyena · 10-30-2004, 03:06 PM

like a phoenix it rises from the dead...

Bustello · 10-30-2004, 03:38 PM

Your cause is lost... Almost 100% of the young men masturbate...

Psycho Dad · 10-30-2004, 08:53 PM

Very entertaining piece.

And I masturbated so much as a boy that I can't understand why my penis isn't 8 inches longer.

mrdarcy · 10-30-2004, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flamingdog

The interesting thing about non-fiction and fiction is that they are mutually exclusive. That said, it is worth noting that while fiction can become fact, the reverse can never occur. This means that as time progresses the world of fiction shrinks and the world of facts- the world that we live in- grows. The implications of this may well be far grander than we can grasp at present.

- Trent Dackmin, Story Truth .

________ Huh?

mrdarcy · 10-30-2004, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bustello

Your cause is lost... Almost 100% of the young men masturbate...

I always liked this statistic. But who checks? I mean, how do you say it with authority? Who's been peeking?

The other way that I hear it phrased is 99% of young men masturbate and 1% lie on questionnaires.

yabobo · 10-31-2004, 01:35 PM

codpiece

Guess what's in my mind now......you..
I love a teenage boys mother who tastes boxer shorts!

william · 10-31-2004, 06:07 PM

JIC you are the occassional twist that has made it onto this board - wtf? Your kid jerks off, and you're upset? How would you feel if he tells you Darla from the Diner is pregnant - and they way want to keep it?!
Everyone jerks off. If you don't, you should. Ask for pointers if in doubt. It's better to spill the seed than bring an unwanted seed.

Flyguy · 10-31-2004, 06:53 PM

Send this to Bush. He'll love it!

And by the way, where can I get a copy of "clit collector?"

Gloves · 11-01-2004, 06:33 AM

Thats Life! The Wonder of it all.

theguy420 · 11-01-2004, 08:03 PM

Had me goin right up until I saw the word Jezebell. Who the hell uses that word anymore?! I mean c'mon.

inharmony · 11-01-2004, 08:36 PM

Very funny

Ripp3r · 11-02-2004, 02:04 AM

my god, this is good stuff

the first few paragraphs I honestly took it serious, thinking, how can anyone be this puritan and stuck up about something that almost everyone does...

then I got to the final few paragraphs and realised that it was going over the top into the obvious satire regions.

very well done

Raleighbum · 11-02-2004, 05:55 AM

OMG. u got me there for a while.

blindawg · 11-02-2004, 03:33 PM

"Time Magazine reports that, " Every person that has ever killed another human being has masturbated at some point in their life usually within days of the crime". If that isn't enough to send a shiver through your entire body, I don't know what is."

Thats great..

like others i started ou thinking this was real, thenit was really wierd then I got it.. Somedays I'm a bit slow.. Great piece thanks..

mbaha · 11-02-2004, 04:07 PM

I love jacking off

avhg1 · 11-03-2004, 11:11 AM

Wow, had me going for a bit. Then I got to

Boy is a straight A+ student.
Boy discovers pornography.
Boy starts using degrading words such as, bitch, ho, and slut.
Boy starts dowloading large amounts of hardcore pornography from the internet.
Boy starts to abuse women.
Boy writes about masturbation on the internet.
Boy rapes his own mother.

I think I remember something like that from school about marijuana leading to all the other drugs and finally to murder or something.

Wheat King · 11-03-2004, 12:23 PM

Boy is a straight A+ student.
Boy discovers pornography.
Boy starts using degrading words such as, bitch, ho, and slut.
Boy starts dowloading large amounts of hardcore pornography from the internet.
Boy starts to abuse women.
Boy writes about masturbation on the internet.
Boy rapes his own mother.

It is a slippery slope, isn't it?

orphen · 11-03-2004, 12:37 PM

thought it was for real. lol good laugh

dnd · 11-03-2004, 12:41 PM

lol, at first i thought it was serious! very funny piece

Flaymin' · 11-03-2004, 01:04 PM

For some odd reason Chuck Palahniuk came in my mind when I read that.
Liked it a lot!

soloist124 · 11-04-2004, 06:32 AM

lol, that wa so funny!

bbbbbb555 · 11-04-2004, 09:44 AM

that was hilarious
i really liked the time magazine article

03-30-2004, 04:17 PM	#41 (permalink)
Slayer Insane Location: Brooklyn, NY............. South Of Heaven	LOL I thought it was serious too in the beginning __________________ "the key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering"

03-31-2004, 06:05 AM	#42 (permalink)
fuzzix Psycho Location: Australia	HAhaha, sheer brilliance __________________ I'm most definately not 'lovin' it'.

04-01-2004, 09:42 PM	#43 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	I almost bought it. I was all ready to explain just how good masturbating vs. sex is for teenagers. (Although I must admit I was shocked when I learned my young son was ALREADY doing it. He just seemed so young. I thought he'd wait until he was at least --- well, let's say -- 30 or so.) __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

04-03-2004, 10:07 PM	#44 (permalink)
oldtimer Addict	WHAT?!? I don't think she's kidding guys... Wait a minute. Hilary Duff in gangbangs... definitely never going to happen. __________________ Slowly but surely getting over the loss of TFP v. 3.0. Where the hell am I?.... Showering once a month does not make you a better person. "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." Martin Luther King, Jr. Last edited by oldtimer; 04-03-2004 at 10:11 PM..

04-04-2004, 04:29 PM	#46 (permalink)
majik_6 narcissist Location: looking in a mirror	Oh my...I, as many posters have also said, believed this as I first started reading (although I wondered why anyone of that mindset would be on the TFP), but as I went along, I came to appreciate this piece for (what I hope) it is: great comedy! That's truly a fantastically written piece. This is just what I needed to get my mind off some stuff. __________________ it's all about self-indulgence

04-04-2004, 05:33 AM	#45 (permalink)
ooiizzi Upright Location: right over there points	Great satire!

04-05-2004, 01:49 PM	#47 (permalink)
Captain Canada Addict Location: University of North Carolina at Greensboro	Haha. That's great! __________________ Conclusion: Flamethrowers and Furries go togerther like Pol Pot and the Cambodian populace.

04-07-2004, 05:41 AM	#48 (permalink)
Eowyn_Vala Insane Location: There's no place like home..	lol great piece at first i was like WTF? this can't be true, OMG! Then the more I read I was like this isn't real, it can't be! Good for a laugh though, I know a few gullible people who might actually believe this too!!!!! HE HE HE __________________ Cain: I know what you're doing. I've lead troops into battle before. DG: And, how am I doing? Cain: Well, there's less hugging when I do it

04-07-2004, 12:04 PM	#49 (permalink)
Elitegibson More Freedom, Less Bullshit Location: Tulsa, OK	Nice satire. All I have to say is no MAM. __________________ -Erik Stupid people shouldn't breed.

04-08-2004, 02:43 PM	#50 (permalink)
ssh_agent Upright	excellent. and i was just readin today that frequent masturbation was good for you ( )http://uk.news.yahoo.com/040407/12/eqj15.html

04-08-2004, 05:43 PM	#51 (permalink)
animosity on fire Location: Atlanta, GA	i was mad then shocked then mad again, then laughed for a few minutes... good one,

04-08-2004, 10:16 PM	#52 (permalink)
SVT01Cobra Psycho Location: Somewhere, Missouri	Jeez, I thought you were SERIOUS! I stopped half way, and was about to ask what the hell was wrong with you, until I saw the posts under it. It reminds me of a friend of mine who got caught masturbating by his dad, and his dad beat the shit out of him with a hockey stick.

04-10-2004, 05:42 PM	#53 (permalink)
hunnychile Alien Anthropologist Location: Between Boredom and Nirvana	Better to masturbate than to go postal with an Uzzi! LOLs! __________________ "I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB Last edited by hunnychile; 04-10-2004 at 09:08 PM..

10-29-2004, 10:56 PM	#54 (permalink)
ibis PIKE!	You had me going there for a minute. Holy crap, I was about to flame!

10-29-2004, 11:13 PM	#55 (permalink)
skier Rawr! Location: Edmontania	wow back from the dead. __________________ "Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

10-30-2004, 06:40 AM	#56 (permalink)
Latch In Your Dreams Location: City of Lights	still good to read again.

10-31-2004, 01:35 PM	#64 (permalink)
yabobo Lust Puppy Location: in your closet and in your head...	codpiece Guess what's in my mind now......you.. I love a teenage boys mother who tastes boxer shorts! __________________ Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

11-01-2004, 08:36 PM	#69 (permalink)
inharmony Psycho Location: happy place	Very funny __________________ "You can't shake hands with a clenched fist." Ghandi "Things do not change: We change" Henry David Thoreau

10-30-2004, 01:24 PM	#57 (permalink)
RMMsGirl Tilted Location: Bakersfield, Ca	I, like quite a few others, thought you were serious at first. It was great.

10-30-2004, 03:04 PM	#58 (permalink)
Ramallah Tilted Location: Louisiana	All masturbators and liberals eat babies.

10-30-2004, 03:06 PM	#59 (permalink)
Fearless_Hyena Hello, good evening, and bollocks. Location: near DC	like a phoenix it rises from the dead... Last edited by Fearless_Hyena; 10-30-2004 at 03:10 PM..

10-30-2004, 03:38 PM	#60 (permalink)
Bustello Upright	Your cause is lost... Almost 100% of the young men masturbate...

10-30-2004, 08:53 PM	#61 (permalink)
Psycho Dad Mulletproof Location: Some nucking fut house.	Very entertaining piece. And I masturbated so much as a boy that I can't understand why my penis isn't 8 inches longer.

10-31-2004, 06:07 PM	#65 (permalink)
william Psycho	JIC you are the occassional twist that has made it onto this board - wtf? Your kid jerks off, and you're upset? How would you feel if he tells you Darla from the Diner is pregnant - and they way want to keep it?! Everyone jerks off. If you don't, you should. Ask for pointers if in doubt. It's better to spill the seed than bring an unwanted seed.

10-31-2004, 06:53 PM	#66 (permalink)
Flyguy Banned Location: Swooping down on you from above....	Send this to Bush. He'll love it! And by the way, where can I get a copy of "clit collector?"

11-01-2004, 06:33 AM	#67 (permalink)
Gloves Upright Location: PHX, AZ	Thats Life! The Wonder of it all.

11-01-2004, 08:03 PM	#68 (permalink)
theguy420 Upright Location: Right where you least expect it	Had me goin right up until I saw the word Jezebell. Who the hell uses that word anymore?! I mean c'mon. __________________ You kids wouldn't wanna look like a couple of fairies now would ya?

11-02-2004, 02:04 AM	#70 (permalink)
Ripp3r Tilted Location: Dublin, Ireland	my god, this is good stuff the first few paragraphs I honestly took it serious, thinking, how can anyone be this puritan and stuck up about something that almost everyone does... then I got to the final few paragraphs and realised that it was going over the top into the obvious satire regions. very well done __________________ We All Have Questions What Seperates The Men From The Boys Is The Ability To Use Google To Find Our Answers

11-02-2004, 05:55 AM	#71 (permalink)
Raleighbum Crazy Location: Lookin for that above	OMG. u got me there for a while.

11-02-2004, 03:33 PM	#72 (permalink)
blindawg Lord over all I survey Location: Northern Michigan	"Time Magazine reports that, " Every person that has ever killed another human being has masturbated at some point in their life usually within days of the crime". If that isn't enough to send a shiver through your entire body, I don't know what is." Thats great.. like others i started ou thinking this was real, thenit was really wierd then I got it.. Somedays I'm a bit slow.. Great piece thanks.. __________________ ( • Y • ) I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. ( • Y • ) - Jack Handey

11-02-2004, 04:07 PM	#73 (permalink)
mbaha Tilted	I love jacking off

11-03-2004, 11:11 AM	#74 (permalink)
avhg1 Insane Location: MD	Wow, had me going for a bit. Then I got to Boy is a straight A+ student. Boy discovers pornography. Boy starts using degrading words such as, bitch, ho, and slut. Boy starts dowloading large amounts of hardcore pornography from the internet. Boy starts to abuse women. Boy writes about masturbation on the internet. Boy rapes his own mother. I think I remember something like that from school about marijuana leading to all the other drugs and finally to murder or something.

11-03-2004, 12:23 PM	#75 (permalink)
Wheat King Loser	Boy is a straight A+ student. Boy discovers pornography. Boy starts using degrading words such as, bitch, ho, and slut. Boy starts dowloading large amounts of hardcore pornography from the internet. Boy starts to abuse women. Boy writes about masturbation on the internet. Boy rapes his own mother. It is a slippery slope, isn't it?

11-03-2004, 12:37 PM	#76 (permalink)
orphen Insane	thought it was for real. lol good laugh

11-03-2004, 12:41 PM	#77 (permalink)
dnd Psycho Location: London...no longer a student	lol, at first i thought it was serious! very funny piece __________________ "Never underestimate a dumb question"-- Brandon Boyd

11-03-2004, 01:04 PM	#78 (permalink)
Flaymin' Upright Location: Which hand?	For some odd reason Chuck Palahniuk came in my mind when I read that. Liked it a lot!

11-04-2004, 06:32 AM	#79 (permalink)
soloist124 Crazy	lol, that wa so funny!

11-04-2004, 09:44 AM	#80 (permalink)
bbbbbb555 Crazy Location: New Orleans	that was hilarious i really liked the time magazine article