Ever been caught spanking the monkey?
 

Saw an admission to this in another thread. Thought I'd ask the question. So have you?

I was in high school (and I bet most were when they got caught) and was in my room 'doing my homework'. With my pants down and my right hand vigorously jerking on my dick. I thought my dad was asleep, he opened the door into my room and said 'hey, you've got your pants off' Without missing a beat (well, not really) I told him I thought I hade been bitten by a spider on my thigh. Don't know if he bought it or not. Probably not.

Your turn, bound to be some funny stories out there.

Yeah, I got busted when I first figured out was masturbation was. I forget the whole story around it, but it wasn't/isn't embarrasing, because at the time (keep in mind this had to be some 12+ years ago.

Spider bite, huh?

I was "changing my underwear".

Mom wasn't fooled. She was cool, but not stupid.

i've been very careful doing this stuff.

i ONLY do this when i can close the bedroom door w/o suspicion or when nobody's home.

i did get busted a couple of times cuz my mom found porn on the pc, but i still have the pc in the room (w/ cable now!)

My mother caught me browsing porn once, but she didn't say anything though. I've always been extremely careful after that..

OHHH yeah, mommy caused some trauma with THAT one.

I swear to god that during 8th grade I never watched TV in my bedroom for half a fucking hour before mom would open the door (without knocking of course) to "check on me." Funny, I didn't NEED checking on. I guess that was her anti-masturbation plan. She was raised Catholic, me too, and they consider that a "sin." Retarded religion that one. (I went to catholic school k through 8, I got confirmed (before I really had any place making an adult decision like that one); I can make fun of my "own" religion if I fucking want too. Get your rightous offense somewhere else.)

Anyway, I survived and learned to lock the fucking door. Then we had a nice talk about "abusing" myself. Do you suppose there's a reason I can't stand catholosism, much less organized religion?

Not that my parents are freakishly religious, I don't really know why such a fit over that. It does not seem to fit.

Oh well.

One time I was on the computer having my way, thought my mom was asleep. She came downstairs and told me to go to bed. I'm not sure if she saw what I was doing, or if I switched the windows fast enough.

Other than that I've been fine.

Simple story... I forgot to lock the door... I felt like a major jackass the rest of the day

I think that's happened to everyone .. the worst for me was getting caught in my parent's room. my mom walked in and was about as surprised as i was .. she never said anything about it ..

luckily for me!

(i have NO idea why i was in there .. i think i was using their bedroom shower .. and thought i was safe to be in the room with the door closed.) haha

never in the time i lived at home, never. :D

but i have been busted before. i was stoned as fuck in year 9, around at a mates place with a chick in his caravan getting a blowjob. her parents came to pick her up cuz her brother was in a car accident. with her old man knockin on the caravan (me scared as all fuck), i hid under the bed before she unlocked the door, cut my leg in the process. he came in..didnt get busted thankfully.

anyway, we've called it a night, and i never quite 'finished' as she left so abruptly. so i thought my mate was passed out beside me, so i thought i'd choke the chicken to finish up what she didnt. beatin away, 'if your gunna whack off, atleast move to the couch'

fuck was my face red.

its funny how when your so desperate for a wank, you'll assume anyone with their eyes closed are asleep.

I got caught trying to awaken the bacon at my mates house, thought he was asleep, 5 minutes later i felt a pretty bad pain on the back of my neck, he had thrown a book at me, i carried on anyways.

Once when I was about 12 or so. We were on a camping trip, and for some reason laying in the sleeping bag, I figured everyone would be asleep. Apparently, I didn't hear the sound of the sleeping bag material rubbing on my hand.

My cousin: "What are you doing?"
Me: "Nothing?"
"What's that noise then?"
"Umm, oh, that! I was, err, scratching a mosquito bite"
"Suuure"

uh oh
 

I have been caught too by my dad.

I told him I loosened the pants coz I had a stomachache. Though I doubt he fell for it, because he saw where my hand was initially.

/I wish I was dead.:o

ummm....nope...can't say that I have

Mate in work had us all laughing, telling us about the time he fell asleep having a tug at his grand-parents house. When he woke up there was a cup of tea next to his bed.

never been caught but I have had some close calls

Got caught by my grandmother once but she didn't say anything (thank god).

never been caught in the act, but ive had the parents find many a pic on the comp.

some funny stories here!

Hmmm porn's been found on the computer, though nothing has actually been proven...

As for whacking wise, theres been close calls, like people walking in milleseconds after I scramble to get my pants on, but not caught yet. Yet.

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I was living with three dancers in Hawaii (when I was in the military) one walked in on me without knocking and . . .I knew I should have put a lock on the door, but doesnt anyone ever fucking knock anymore.

No, noone ever knocks ever anymore. Except this one girl my sister knew would always knock when she came in to say hi, but that's it, noone else on the planet.

I'm pretty sure my mom has caught me, or at least is very knowledgeable that I *do* in fact masturbate. We've traded jokes about it in fact, but I dont recall any really obvious time when I was walked in on while polishing the scales.

My mum thought I was lookin at porn one time when I wasn't coz I jumped when she walked into the room. But other than that, nope... not while beating off anyway...

People have a nasty habit of knocking on my door then walking straight in without waiting for my reply... my gf stays over on the weekends... yeah. My Mum's learned that she can talk to me without having to open the door or if she's bringing in washed clothes she can open the door a crack and drop em on the floor :p Should probably get a lock for my door.

In my experience the people who walk in on it are more embarrassed than the people caught in the act, and rightly so.

thankfully no

Oh, man...I saw this topic and I just had to post...

I have a whacking gone "right" story.

I was at camp one summer and I was attracted to this chick that was also attending camp. The whole gang was out by the beach getting ready to hang by lake and do some canoing, kayaking, swimming, etc...

Anyways, this girl comes out of her cabin wearing the HOTTEST 2 piece bikini on. She and I had been hanging out together throughout the whole camp and seeing her with such skimpy clothes on, I was instantly aroused. She came over and started talking and goofing around with me, just like we had done this whole camp, and I started feeling a hard on. I knew that I had to save myself from some embarrassment (I had nothing but swim trunks on), so I ran back to my cabin. I thought to myself, how the hell can I get rid of this hard on?? The only thing that came to mind was to get it out of my system (if you know what I mean). So, there I was lying in my bed whacking it.

Suddenly, there was a voice from the doorway. It was her!! She said, "Do you need a hand?" I had no time to react...I instantly turned red and just froze. She walked over and gave me a handjob/hummer to completion...:-) Then she said, "Don't you feel better now?" I couldn't agree more.

Anyways, that was my experience with getting caught. Haven't been caught since...

Not bad, huh?

High fives for neoinoakleys. Damned good story!!!!

You guys should check out www.solotouch.com lots of masturbation stories there...

I myself have come close to being caught but always managed to avoid the embarassment (although neoinoakleys makes me wish I had been caught like he was....)

I'm not sure but there are close calls. Spider sense is very active while doing the deed.

neoinoakleys,
Are you sure you didn't lift that story from the Penthouse reader letters page?

But if it IS true... rock on!

been busted doing many things, but never that.

I've never been caught myself. Had a couple of close calls when I was still living at home though.

I did walk in on my grandfather (bless his soul) about 2 years ago while he was whacking away at it furiously. He had alzheimers and this was about a month before he died. He wouldnt snap out of it so I just grabbed a blanket and threw it over him so at least noone else would see it overtly :P

I must say FUCKIN A to neo - true or not, that story is the best.

i wish i had a story like neoinoakleys

but ... once when i was about 12 or 13, i was in my parents room taking a bath, and i had locked the door...well my sister needed something from the room and used a small screwdriver to unlock the door... and it was about that time when i had started goin' at it in the bathtub... she came in and was like... "what are you doing ?" ... i said "i'm taking a bath!...the door was locked for a reason!" i don't know if she knew what i was ACTUALLY doing... but she never said anything about it if she did

Well... back when I was a teen (10 or so years ago), I used to go to my brother's room to "watch tv", as he was usually at his girlfriend's place anyway. His room was on the second (top) floor, while mine was on the first, next to my parents' bedroom. One can see why I'd hesitate to do the deed there, especially considering we didn't have locks on our doors.

Anyway, one day, around 10 in the evening, I was busy doing the solo thing, and all of a sudden my dad opened the door... I don't think I ever moved from the bed to the door so fast. That was the last time he went in without knocking.

It wasn't a problem, though. In fact, a few months later, my mother had a talk with me and my brother, explaining we should really throw those tissues in the toilet, instead of in our trashcans... (Yes, *EW*)

Never caught. You learn to do it very quietly when you are in a room on a ship with a bunch of other guys.

i got caught by my auntie when i was about 15. very embarassing, not much else to say about it. she should've knocked.

The first time was a trip to the bathroom to, er.. dispose of the evidence. So i'd finished, and cleaned up, and the bathroom is opposite my door. I normally peek out, but other things must've been on my mind - my wang was still out. So i walk out the door and i see my dad. I just jumped as far as i could and i was out of his view. I was like 'oh fuck shit'. As i left the bathroom i saw him sitting on my bed... with porn on the screen. I can't think of what the fuck was distracting me, but i wish i'd payed more attention in finishing him. So i pretend no to notice him and head off to watch tv. I go back 10 minutes later and he's gone. The next week was a bit uncomfortable, but he just jokes about it now. Even to relatives. He's like 'Yeah, he's got a cable connection now, so whenever i walk in i see his screen and WOOSH the porn's gone.'
I just go, 'Hehe... yeah.'
My mum knows i do i anyway, so fuck getting caught. In fact, i might as well jack it with the door open and one of my parents would just shut the door for me.

I swear this story was completely true...

This could probably never happen again, but right time right place, and right girl I guess....

I did speak to the girl aftewards and I asked her why she was there and what made her do what she did. She told me that she was wondering why I had left so abruptly. She had a crush on me, too...and she was worried about whether or not I was ok, and decided after a few minutes to come to my cabin. She looked on one of the windows and saw me. She too masturbates and through deduction she figured that I was imagining her...she WAS right...

Anyways, she thought she would give it a shot and went for it.

Boy am I glad she did....

This is the simple truth...no fabrication...Once in a lifetime event I am sure...:-)