santafe5000

Did You Ever Wonder ?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? And why does
a round pizza come in a square box?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a
"penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you
were buried in for eternity?

What did cured ham actually have to be cured of?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it
would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies
wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for
Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to
see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom do they call?

and finally...

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural.

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When all else fails, QUIT.

Psivage

no, not really.

InTeGrA77

I will answer question #1.........yes!

As for the rest, I have no clue whatsoever, and I'm not willing to wrack my brain while I think about the rest of them.

Haha, the all-knowing Halx is always able to come up with some good/valid/hilarious answers to these types of questions, soo maybe he can help you.

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28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds...

thejoker130

And just why is it Eat N Park when you park before you eat

If vegetable oil is made out of vegetables then what is baby oil made of?

Why are there flotation devises on airplanes instead of parachutes?

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WHAT MORE CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?
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I like you. When the world is mine your death will be quick and painless.

Tophat665

Yes, as a matter of fact, they will. In fact, if you are seen drinking Pepsi products anywhere, you get written up. Same deal with Budweiser emplyees and Miller products.

Couple more:

Why is abbreviation such a long word, and why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

If a parsley farmer loses a lawsuit, can they garnish his wages?

What makes the teflon stick to the pan?

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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Mephisto2

Hahaha... That was funnier that the list itself!


Mr Mephisto

theguyondacouch

Um, i think if you get caught drinking ANY alchohol on the job, you get written up. Less your a taste tester.

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"Lick my frozen metal ass!"

KellyC

I believe this belongs in the Humor Forum. As it is so freakin' funny.

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Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.

k1ng

Nice ones! Most of these are new to me. I usually see the same texts being passed around.

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"Delight in excellence is easily confused with snobbery by the ignorant." -Joseph Epstein

hu-man

Yes.

Important enough to have personal security guards.

It's just a pretty good descriptive word.

Either because you buy the wrong sandwich meat, or because companies wants to save money by making it smaller than the bread.

It's pretty damn hard to make a round box.

Taxes.

No, you get a white gown and a pretty harp if you're lucky.

Nothing. It's a way of preparation of the ham.

Because only rich people used to be able to travel much, and they had servants to carry the luggage for them.

Because babies sleep so innocently, and not all babies wake up all the time.

Yes.

Yes:

Development of language usually goes in many directions.

Because small people are fun, they look like ants and can be crushed.

I'd much rather look at 50 beautiful women than 50 old men.

Common courtesy. It's not pleasant to undress in front of a stranger.æ

Ghostbusters!

Because "panties" derive from "pants" which is plural because of the two legs.


Sorry to be a spoilsport!

Chingal0

Gah, I was thinking.. wtf is this shit! Someone answered all the questions.. BEFORE ME!

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"Eventually I became too sexy for my gym membership fee."

cchris

There's a Moon in the sky called the Moon,but Uranus is a great name for a planet.

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There's a fine line between participation and mockery

Tinker

But you have two tits.....

Redlemon

Non Sequitor:

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

spived2

Hehe i like that one redlemon

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"This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V." - V