I find nothing amusing about an accordion player . - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

marcopolo · 12-02-2003, 02:13 PM

Q. What's the difference between an accordion and a lawn mower?
A. If you put both of them on the Home Shopping Network, you could sell the lawn mower.

Q. What's an accordion good for?
A. Learning how to fold maps.

Last week I attended a family wedding . The majority of my family sport a Polish heritage . This means a Polka band with an accordion player . I've been tortured for years by these son-of-a-bitch musical wannabees and I've had enough !Thank God there aren't too many places you can go with an accordion these days and not have to dodge tear gas . I think the accordion is something to prop the door open with while the band loads in .

Now some of you will disagree with me because of ' Weird Al ' and his accordion . True , he is funny . But alas , he's never been laid . Can you imagine anyone saying ' see that girl over there , she's fucking the accordion player .' It will never happen .

Blow, suck (push/pull), blow, suck, blow, suck, suck, blow .
That's an accordion in a nutshell . Bah !

Cynthetiq · 12-02-2003, 02:22 PM

I beg to differ...

www.stupidband.com from brooklyn the lead singer plays the accordion. She's a cutie and the punk songs work really well.

and I'd hit it

paddyjoe · 12-02-2003, 02:50 PM

C'mon Marco

Don't tell me somebody dropped an accordian on your head when you were little?

If you ever get a chance, check out this guy, C. J. Chenier and his Red Hot Louisiana Band

There ain't one damn polka on their set list.

Baby, the house is a rockin!!!

Kaos · 12-02-2003, 03:10 PM

I beg to differ also, and I think Weird Al doesn't comprehend you either

Fremen · 12-02-2003, 04:05 PM

Oh, my disillusionment with Marco knows no bounds.

If you think accordionists aren't cool, what about this guy?
He looks like the epitome of cool.

And look, they even get their own parking spaces.

Changed your mind any, MP? Huh? Huh? Eh?

Mephisto2 · 12-02-2003, 04:09 PM

I'm indifferent towards the accordian. However I think it can be pretty cool in cajun and blue-grass music.

The bagpipes however...

Q: What's the definition of a Scottish gentleman?
A: One who can play the bagpipes... but doesn't.

Mr Mephisto

PS - Strangely enough I love the Uillean Pipes, a traditional Irish instrument that is very similiar and is often mistaken for bagpipes. There you go.

ratbastid · 12-02-2003, 04:21 PM

I'm with Mephisto--Polka ANYTHING bad. Cajun or zydeco (or punk) accordian is pretty damn cool.

I find that unless you're the one actually doing the literal rolling out of the barrel, it's awfully difficult to truly have anything approaching a barrel of fun.

GakFace · 12-02-2003, 05:01 PM

First off, playing an accordion is a lot tougher than it looks. Polka is cool, I think, and beyond that I've heard it in some acordions in recent music, and it was played quite phenomenally. Its not something you can just pick up and play.. It takes a lot of skill. My grandpa played Polka, and it wasn't something I dreaded. Now that he's no longer alive, I don't get to hear his talent anymore. If you're from a large city, yeah polka won't sound as cool, but i'm originally from a small town.. and polka just fits right in.

Fly · 12-02-2003, 06:49 PM

this guy doesn't seem too impressed with accordions either marco

Flesh · 12-02-2003, 06:57 PM

Weird Al has gotten laid more times than you

taliendo · 12-02-2003, 08:00 PM

One of my favorite OtR songs has accordian in it. (linford plays it a lot when they're in a small venue without a piano.) all in all, I like the sound -- but again i'm a small town boy . . .

EDIT: I don't dig polka, even if your name is Wierd Al

splck · 12-02-2003, 10:52 PM

Come on Marco, they gave a grammy to Walter, it can't be that bad.

Crap...the guy has three grammys and 45 LP's...he is the king.

Redlemon · 12-03-2003, 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by marcopolo
Now some of you will disagree with me because of ' Weird Al ' and his accordion . True , he is funny . But alas , he's never been laid . Can you imagine anyone saying ' see that girl over there , she's fucking the accordion player .' It will never happen .

Um, I hate to admit that I know this...

Weird Al is married. If you look really closely at the album cover for his most recent album (Poodle Hat), there is a picture of his wife and her very pregnant belly. The kid must be born by now, but I don't know any more details.

So, what is perfect pitch on a banjo? That's when you can throw it into the dumpster without hitting either side AND pierce the accordian already there.

Redlemon · 12-03-2003, 06:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr Mephisto
PS - Strangely enough I love the Uillean Pipes, a traditional Irish instrument that is very similiar and is often mistaken for bagpipes. There you go.

The uillean pipes are WAY cooler than bagpipes, since you can change the pitches on the drones. On the other hand, a uillean player looks like he's attempting intercourse with an uncooperative octopus.

quadro2000 · 12-03-2003, 10:04 AM

I wish I could learn the accordion. I was given one a few years ago and it was just too difficult to figure out. And I play piano, so you'd think I'd be able to figure out at least one side of it.

There are some KICK-ASS songs out there with accordion. Barenaked Ladies use it all the time. The best use of accordion in rock is by the now-defunct band Moxy Fruvous. Check out their album "Live Noise," specifically "Jockey Full Of Bourbon" and "Video Bargainville" for some rockin' accordion.

water_boy1999 · 12-03-2003, 11:16 AM

Cajun, Zydeco, and Blue Grass all have some pretty amazing sounds when the accordian is added. I was in Portland a few months ago and listened to this rockin band. The lead singer was rippin it up withsome spoons and a steele wash board over his chest, the backup was on accordian. I have never seen a place jump, dance, and rock out as much as they did for this outdoor venue.

marcopolo · 12-03-2003, 02:26 PM

OK , time for me to fess up .

I was forced , at an early age to take accordion lessons. Why ?My parents thought that playing an accordion would do wonders for my social skills . I did become quite adept at Yellow Rose of Texas , Spanish Eyes , Lady of Spain and Silent Night but other than that , nothing .

My favorite piece of vinyl when I was 11.

Some friends would drop bye and we would get down .

Too bad I was a flat out rocker and my parents wanted to turn me into a suck-junkie .
I'm just glad that my Dad rented the accordion ... it was easier to quit the lessons .
So , as you can see , I have a reason to hate this particular instrument .

uncle phil · 12-03-2003, 04:34 PM

ever heard "lady of spain" on a harmonica?

Fly · 12-03-2003, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by uncle phil
ever heard "lady of spain" on a harmonica?

i'd almost rather listen to cats fuck i think......

Fearless_Hyena · 12-03-2003, 05:46 PM

That guy from the Pogues is amazing on the accordion...

paddyjoe · 12-03-2003, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by flyman
i'd almost rather listen to cats fuck i think......

Yeah, I heard that once on Lawrence Welk

Fearless_Hyena · 12-03-2003, 08:41 PM

EDIT: this post was deleted immediately after i realized that only old polish guys and ppl whose pops are huge fans of lawrence welk would get the joke

hu-man · 12-04-2003, 05:56 AM

Now, if accordions are not cool, then this guy is also not cool, and he is cool. So there.

paddyjoe · 12-04-2003, 06:12 AM

Lawrence is calling to you, Marco

(he was calling to me, but I crossed that out)

MSD · 12-04-2003, 09:02 AM

What the fuck is wrong with Polka?

marcopolo · 12-04-2003, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by paddyjoe
Lawrence is calling to you, Marco

(he was calling to me, but I crossed that out)

It's my worst nightmare !

Fremen · 12-04-2003, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MrSelfDestruct
What the fuck is wrong with Polka?

Not a dadgum thang!

Especially in small doses.

Now, I saw some little kid on Leno once that had a thick Cajun dialect and could wrestle that little-bitty box around to where it played the dancingest Zydeco music you ever did hear.
He was pretty cool for such a young fart.

Couldn't understand a word he sang, though.

rogue49 · 12-04-2003, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by marcopolo
Now some of you will disagree with me because of ' Weird Al ' and his accordion . True , he is funny . But alas , he's never been laid .

Sorry Marco...but you're wrong there.
Weird Al's wife is a cutie,
and I'm sure she gives it to him good.

Fly · 12-04-2003, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fearless_Hyena
That guy from the Pogues is amazing on the accordion...

dude.........you are sooooooo right.

okay fuck it.

i admit it......i like the accordion........it's good in certain moods.

bermuDa · 12-04-2003, 06:34 PM

I prefer the Bandoneon over the Accordian, they are used in some cool music like Argentine Tango.

here's a link to some sound clips of a tango quinetet including a Bandoneon. Sorry, they are in Real Media Format.
clip 1, libertango
clip 2

12-02-2003, 02:13 PM	#1 (permalink)
marcopolo I am the anomaly. Location: Motown	I find nothing amusing about an accordion player . Q. What's the difference between an accordion and a lawn mower? A. If you put both of them on the Home Shopping Network, you could sell the lawn mower. Q. What's an accordion good for? A. Learning how to fold maps. Last week I attended a family wedding . The majority of my family sport a Polish heritage . This means a Polka band with an accordion player . I've been tortured for years by these son-of-a-bitch musical wannabees and I've had enough !Thank God there aren't too many places you can go with an accordion these days and not have to dodge tear gas . I think the accordion is something to prop the door open with while the band loads in . Now some of you will disagree with me because of ' Weird Al ' and his accordion . True , he is funny . But alas , he's never been laid . Can you imagine anyone saying ' see that girl over there , she's fucking the accordion player .' It will never happen . Blow, suck (push/pull), blow, suck, blow, suck, suck, blow . That's an accordion in a nutshell . Bah !

12-02-2003, 02:22 PM	#2 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	I beg to differ... www.stupidband.com from brooklyn the lead singer plays the accordion. She's a cutie and the punk songs work really well. and I'd hit it __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

12-02-2003, 05:01 PM	#8 (permalink)
GakFace Go Ninja, Go Ninja Go!! Location: IN, USA	First off, playing an accordion is a lot tougher than it looks. Polka is cool, I think, and beyond that I've heard it in some acordions in recent music, and it was played quite phenomenally. Its not something you can just pick up and play.. It takes a lot of skill. My grandpa played Polka, and it wasn't something I dreaded. Now that he's no longer alive, I don't get to hear his talent anymore. If you're from a large city, yeah polka won't sound as cool, but i'm originally from a small town.. and polka just fits right in. __________________ RoboBlaster: Welcome to the club! Not that I'm in the club. And there really isn'a a club in the first place. But if there was a club and if I was in it, I would definitely welcome you to it.

12-02-2003, 06:49 PM	#9 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	this guy doesn't seem too impressed with accordions either marco __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

12-02-2003, 08:00 PM	#11 (permalink)
taliendo Insane Location: an indelible crawl through the gutters	One of my favorite OtR songs has accordian in it. (linford plays it a lot when they're in a small venue without a piano.) all in all, I like the sound -- but again i'm a small town boy . . . EDIT: I don't dig polka, even if your name is Wierd Al __________________ -LIFE IS ABSURD-

12-02-2003, 02:50 PM	#3 (permalink)
paddyjoe through charlatans phone Location: Northcoast	C'mon Marco Don't tell me somebody dropped an accordian on your head when you were little? If you ever get a chance, check out this guy, C. J. Chenier and his Red Hot Louisiana Band There ain't one damn polka on their set list. Baby, the house is a rockin!!!

12-02-2003, 03:10 PM	#4 (permalink)
Kaos Ssssssssss Location: Ontario	I beg to differ also, and I think Weird Al doesn't comprehend you either

12-02-2003, 04:05 PM	#5 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	Oh, my disillusionment with Marco knows no bounds. If you think accordionists aren't cool, what about this guy? He looks like the epitome of cool. And look, they even get their own parking spaces. Changed your mind any, MP? Huh? Huh? Eh?

12-02-2003, 04:09 PM	#6 (permalink)
Mephisto2 Junkie	I'm indifferent towards the accordian. However I think it can be pretty cool in cajun and blue-grass music. The bagpipes however... Q: What's the definition of a Scottish gentleman? A: One who can play the bagpipes... but doesn't. Mr Mephisto PS - Strangely enough I love the Uillean Pipes, a traditional Irish instrument that is very similiar and is often mistaken for bagpipes. There you go.

12-02-2003, 04:21 PM	#7 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	I'm with Mephisto--Polka ANYTHING bad. Cajun or zydeco (or punk) accordian is pretty damn cool. I find that unless you're the one actually doing the literal rolling out of the barrel, it's awfully difficult to truly have anything approaching a barrel of fun.

12-02-2003, 06:57 PM	#10 (permalink)
Flesh Psycho	Weird Al has gotten laid more times than you

12-02-2003, 10:52 PM	#12 (permalink)
splck it's jam Location: Lowerainland BC	Come on Marco, they gave a grammy to Walter, it can't be that bad. Crap...the guy has three grammys and 45 LP's...he is the king. __________________ nice line eh?

12-03-2003, 10:04 AM	#15 (permalink)
quadro2000 All Possibility, Made Of Custard Location: New York, NY	I wish I could learn the accordion. I was given one a few years ago and it was just too difficult to figure out. And I play piano, so you'd think I'd be able to figure out at least one side of it. There are some KICK-ASS songs out there with accordion. Barenaked Ladies use it all the time. The best use of accordion in rock is by the now-defunct band Moxy Fruvous. Check out their album "Live Noise," specifically "Jockey Full Of Bourbon" and "Video Bargainville" for some rockin' accordion. __________________ You have to laugh at yourself...because you'd cry your eyes out if you didn't. - Emily Saliers

12-03-2003, 11:16 AM	#16 (permalink)
water_boy1999 Fly em straight! Location: Above and Beyond	Cajun, Zydeco, and Blue Grass all have some pretty amazing sounds when the accordian is added. I was in Portland a few months ago and listened to this rockin band. The lead singer was rippin it up withsome spoons and a steele wash board over his chest, the backup was on accordian. I have never seen a place jump, dance, and rock out as much as they did for this outdoor venue. __________________ Doh!!!! -Homer Simpson

12-03-2003, 02:26 PM	#17 (permalink)
marcopolo I am the anomaly. Location: Motown	OK , time for me to fess up . I was forced , at an early age to take accordion lessons. Why ?My parents thought that playing an accordion would do wonders for my social skills . I did become quite adept at Yellow Rose of Texas , Spanish Eyes , Lady of Spain and Silent Night but other than that , nothing . My favorite piece of vinyl when I was 11. Some friends would drop bye and we would get down . Too bad I was a flat out rocker and my parents wanted to turn me into a suck-junkie . I'm just glad that my Dad rented the accordion ... it was easier to quit the lessons . So , as you can see , I have a reason to hate this particular instrument . __________________ Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

12-03-2003, 04:34 PM	#18 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	ever heard "lady of spain" on a harmonica? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-03-2003, 05:46 PM	#20 (permalink)
Fearless_Hyena Hello, good evening, and bollocks. Location: near DC	That guy from the Pogues is amazing on the accordion...

12-03-2003, 08:41 PM	#22 (permalink)
Fearless_Hyena Hello, good evening, and bollocks. Location: near DC	EDIT: this post was deleted immediately after i realized that only old polish guys and ppl whose pops are huge fans of lawrence welk would get the joke Last edited by Fearless_Hyena; 12-03-2003 at 10:51 PM..

12-04-2003, 05:56 AM	#23 (permalink)
hu-man The one that got away Location: Over the hill and far away	Now, if accordions are not cool, then this guy is also not cool, and he is cool. So there.

12-04-2003, 06:12 AM	#24 (permalink)
paddyjoe through charlatans phone Location: Northcoast	Lawrence is calling to you, Marco (he was calling to me, but I crossed that out)

12-04-2003, 09:02 AM	#25 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	What the fuck is wrong with Polka?

12-04-2003, 06:34 PM	#30 (permalink)
bermuDa don't ignore this--> Location: CA	I prefer the Bandoneon over the Accordian, they are used in some cool music like Argentine Tango. here's a link to some sound clips of a tango quinetet including a Bandoneon. Sorry, they are in Real Media Format. clip 1, libertango clip 2 __________________ I am the very model of a moderator gentleman. Last edited by bermuDa; 12-04-2003 at 06:37 PM..