sailor

A couple of weekends ago, some friends and I are out walking around my college town. It is pretty quiet out, being Sunday night, but we were just enjoying ourselves. We are walking in front of some (apparently) empty bar when we hear some girl screaming and yelling at a guy to let her go... We look across the street, and this guy is grabbing the girl, despite her lamentations to the contrary. She breaks loose, runs a few steps, and he grabs her again. This happens a couple more times. By this point, the phone is out, about to dial 911, and the four of us are starting to cross the street, when three police cars arrive--apparently someone else saw and called them. Good timing.

What would you guys have done? I was pretty pissed off after the fact. Normally I try to stay out of other people's conflicts, but rape crosses the line. Messing with drunk people is generally not a good call, but I was so angry (along with the other three guys I was with... at least we outnumbered him) that I and my friends were about to go across the street and see if we could help this girl. Anyone else had a similar experience?

jfranco13

Sheesh, if you guys were 4 people, you definitely should have intervened if the cops didn't show. even if it was just me, I would probably have gone over there and at least tried... after I called 911, unless I was a lot bigger than the guy then I might not call 'em

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krwlz

No similar experiences, but Ive considered the situation before. I can honestly say that if I caught someone raping a woman... Im not sure I wouldnt kill him.

sixate

Never had an experience like that, but I can assure everyone that I would have been across the street beating the living shit outa that dickless pussy well before you ever got your cell-phone out.

tinger

I'm not a big guy, but I think anyone seeing that kind of thing has to get in there and try to stop it however they can. Not doing anything is unthinkable to me.

Phaenx

Everyone's superman when they're drunk it seems, you probably wouldn't even need to run over there, just yelling "Hey buddy, cut that out" would yield the enjoyment of said dumbass stumbling his way over to your side of the curb. Then you could proceed your demonstration of a focused sober bodies superiority.

Of course this is easy to say, it's hard to do anything but run over and start hammering someones skull once your testosterone takes over.

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nothingx

Speaking from experience, it's not always easy to do what needs to be done. Especially if it's just you against someone much larger. It's complete bullshit that this kind of thing happens and I hope none of you have to experience sailor420 did. It's just gut wrenching... the kind of thing that will chew at you for a long time.

On a side note, I know a guy that's well trained in martial arts. Saw some jackass trying to force a girl into his car in a mall parking lot. Went and litterally broke his face for it. Got to admire him. That took tremendous guts... Something I don't think you'll ever know if you have until you're tested.

Fire

it is very rare that one gets a chance to stomp the shit out of an asshole and have a very good chance the cops will thank you for it... sure call 911 first- then its time to stomp. in a case like yours sounds like you did right, and the cops were on it, hell, they get paid for that stuff- If they hadnt showed up it sounds like you guys would have done the right thing... the enjoyment of stomping a rapist aside, fights are quite scary in the real world, and not something to take lightly or hope for...

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meepa

I just thought I'd share something that this made me think of. There was this one time in some big city, like New York or something, where this woman came running out of an apt. building half-naked and screaming for help. Then a larger man came out, grabbed her, and forced her back into the apt. with her screaming the whole time. There were lots of people standing around to witness the whole thing. Despite this however, none of them did anything to help or called the police. The reason for this is because when lots of people are around, we automatically tend to shift responsibility to someone else. IE, we say "Shouldn't someone do something?" since there are so many "someones" around. If a similar situation happened when there were fewer witnesses however, that sociological phenomenon doesn't occur as often, because people realize there is no one else to shift the responsibility to.

Anyway, the woman ended up being raped and killed. There's a little sociological fact for you to ponder on.

If it were me, I'd call the police and at least bluff to the guy that they were called awhile ago and try to distract/scare him.

Cynthetiq

I always am ready to get involved and protect life and limb of my fellow humans. From accidents to altercations, I am ready and have already planned and practiced actions for most situations.

Why? Because when it's happening there isn't time to think it's time to react and do. The split second to decide can make the difference between life and death.

I'm not belittling your situation, but it may not have resulted in rape. A fellow human was in jeopardy. He was obviously not heeding her negative responses. Good job!

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battlemouth

if i was in the situation i would have to refrain from absolutely wrecking the guy. people who commit rape are some of the lowest people on this planet.

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Stubbs

definitely would do something. especially if you feel strongly about a situation like many of us do which is harm to an innocent girl, i would feel the urge to help her and even if you were being rational about it - you have 4 guys to 1!!

Dilbert1234567

i would kick sum ass, never ever treat a lady like that, he would defeneatly wind up with something broken unless the cops showed up real soon

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GoldenOuroboros

I'm with Cynthetiq, if there's someone in trouble and in need I'm there.. like he said sometimes you only have a split second to do something about the situation, I've been training in martial arts for a while just so that I am ready if something should pop up...


But yeah, you guys did the right thing, if someones in need of help be there..

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kurty[B]

This is why people who are in need of help should point at someone, and say "You Help Me!" Appoint the responsibility to someone and they will more than likely take action, because they'll feel guilty, and won't have the "shouldn't someone do something?" excuse.

Back to the topic. I live in a pretty loud neighborhood, parties and what not always going on. Occasionally loud arguments between male and females break out, and yelling persists (never seen a man grab for, or hit a woman out on the street, mainly just harsh words. But even so, I'll assess the situation, and usually call the police before any domestic violence even comes into play. If a man did grab at, hit or slap a woman though the man probably wouldn't enjoy the beating me and whatever nearest blunt object would dish out for him.

Journeyman

Meepa, I'm not sure if you're talking about a different incident or mistaking the facts on the one I'm about to describe, but I think you're talking about Kitty Genovesie (sp?). In the 60's/70's (dunno), in a courtyard connecting two or three apartment complexes, she had been walking from her car to her apartment when she was attacked by an assailant with a knife. And stabbed, kicking and screaming for help, for, I dunno, 5 minutes or more. Neighbors in the apartment balconies/fire escapes, they all knew they were there, pulled up chairs to watch the incident, and everybody seemed to have figured someone else would call the police.

After five minutes of stabbing (I really dunno how long), the assailant walked away, leaving a bleeding, moaning, *living* Kitty down on the ground to die.

Then the assailant came back 40 minutes later and stabbed her some more, to make sure she was dead or something. Cops still hadn't been called at that point. Phones were working, people were watching. Not to knock on New York, but that's where it happened. Some studies had been inspired by this and showed that yes, between a single person and groups of three people who didn't know eachother, the single person will hands down report a potential emergency more often than the group.


As for my own thoughts on getting into it in defense of a woman... no matter how many people there are assaulting her, my life will definitely be impacted much less by getting beat than hers will by getting raped, so it's got to be done, regardless of my chances. But nobody really knows what they'll do till it's time to do it.

meepa

Journeyman, I'm pretty sure that's a different case. But I'm not positive, it's been a long time since I read about sociology in that context Same idea though.

Ashton

Plan9Senior

A similar thing happened to a friend of mine and his girlfriend in a parking lot outside of a bar where I live. They walked out to his car to get a pack of smokes and saw 2 guys, who happened to be gang members taking advantage of a passed out girl in the back of a truck. He told them to leave her alone and said to them that the girl is not even conscious of what is going on. They proceeded to punch my friends girlfriend in the face then they beat the shit out of my friend. When his girlfriend came running inside for help, we went out and saw the 2 gangsters running off and my friend lying bloodied and beaten on the ground. Words cannot describe the anger I felt when I realized what had happened right near us with all of us inside and unable to help my friend.

The cops showed up right as it ended (fortunately somebody had witnessed and called them) and they caught the bastards who did it. They currently are in jail and my friend and his girlfriend pressed charges. He later said that the ass beating was worth it because it might have saved that girl from being raped by 2 guys.

K-Wise

Regardless of how dangerous it is (he could be packin) I would have probably done something right away and not even thought about it. That type of thing would definitely vex me greatly. I'm with tinger & krwlz all the way fuckin verbatum. I know that the possibilities of me actually helping her situation are a lot greater than somebody else helping in time.

Asta!!

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AngelHands

This is another reason why women need to learn to protect themselves. I mean, I can see in some situations you might not see it coming, but there are always preventative measures that we need to take. I have friends (girls) that've gone through similar situations that have been taken advantage of/beaten by boyfriends, etc, and they felt like they couldn't do anything about it and haven't done anything about it since then. If only people around them would've helped... It's good to know that there are people out there who are willing to risk themselves to save someone else. Thanks, guys.

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fuzzix

Never had a similar experience, but if I were in your situation I'd definately have stepped in. 4 to 1, with a drunken guy on the recieving end of a punishment and you've got great odds of winning :P
Mind you, even if it was just weak feeble little me I'd step in and at least try to distract the guy, anything to stop a rape from happening...

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Loki

er, well, what the guy did was out of line, but you don't know the full story. Don't leap to conclusions that it was intended rape. Maybe the girl had told him that she had aborted thier kid without asking him, and he was freaking out or something, i don't know.

Personally, i would have ran over there, and asked what the problem was. chances are, if it was rape or something like that, the added witness (you) would probably diminish his resolve.

Don't ever forget that it is a criminal offense to assault someone, and two wrongs never ever make a right.

Sapper

I would not have hesitated to break at least one of the offender's limbs. That's just me thought ...

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Latch

Easy to say.. but I would have gone and beat the shit outta the guy.

redravin40

As a father with two daughters I don't think there would be much to stop me from heading over there without even thinking about the consequences.
I've done it once before, though it wasn't rape but a man beating on his girlfriend.
I would hope that someone else would do the same if my kiddos were in trouble.

raeanna74

It sure took guts to even start walking over there. I'm glad to know there are guys out there like you should I ever need help. Had a neighbor come running to my door at 2:00 am. Her then boy friend was beating her up. He came running up just before I got to my door. The neighbor across the way opened her door about that time and since he had planted himself between her and my door when she broke loose she dashed across to the neighbors door and inside quickly. I shut my door and locked it. Later come to find out he was wanted for murder in Chicago. Scary and I wish I could have done more. I'm glad I just opened my door. This girl had a record for finding the assholes. I ended up calling the police or getting interviewed by police numerous times in regards to her. Watched her kids for the cops once even. I kind of feel like is should do it for someone else. I never know when I'll need it. Glad you were around should you have been needed.

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bender

One drunk guy ?/.

sailor

Yeah. And what bugs me is that it took us as long to react as it did. We kind of stood there for a second before it clicked that this was not a good situation before my phone came out and we started crossing the street. I mean, I guess it came out OK, but it still irks me that it took me as long to respond as it did. Not long, but that couple seconds of a dumb stare before the brain kicked in kinda bugs me.

Yeah, and the Kitty Genovese thing... We studied that a lot in Psych class... The conclusion was exactly what someone already said--take charge. If you just say "someone call the cops," no one is likely to do it. Pick one person out, tell them specifically to call the cops, ambulance, whatever.

And Loki, I see your point--that is why I dont like to intrude in other people's arguments--unless it is a situation like this. It clearly went beyond an argument. He was very clearly trying to sexually force himself on her, not just trying to talk to her. I would like to think that I would react in the same way if I someone hitting his girlfriend/wife (hopefully I wont have to find out).

The whole experience left me pretty pissed for the rest of the night, and much of the next day too.

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chavos

Ditto. Depending on the assailant, and how hard they fought back...but i'm going to be taking a hell of a lot of anger out on them if i start winning the fight. and if don't...at least i bought her time to get to saftey. I've seen what happens afterwards, a non-violent assault, so i can only imagine the emotional wreckage that a violent one would cause. There's about nothing i wouldn't lay down to keep someone from that harm.

Mango

Foo.

Esoteric

I'm not the type of person to get into other people's conflicts either, but if I actually saw that being done I think I would've ran over there and done something.

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Mupwah

I would call 911 , I always have my cell phone, and then try to intervene until they arrived.

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Psivage

I would of went over and fought him off, don't care if he is bigger then me, don't if he had a gun or a knife. I would last long enough for the woman to get away.

tigerkick

Having a backup such as a pepper spray can be simple as a matter of life N death or end up being raped. First of all its Small, light, and legal 2 carry. So why not take advantage of this wonderful product? Especially for the ladies!

bundy

i´ve not had a similar experience, so i can´t really imagine how i´d react.

i know that the first thing i would have done, as you did, would be to phone the police, so that i´d know that i have help on the way.

i´m not a big guy, and i´m not all martial-arts trained or anything... so i guess, while sitting in a nice safe place, thinking rationally, i´d make a hell of a lot of noise shouting at him.

but in the heat of the moment, i think that i´d just head straight over there and try to do something.

weapons and defence pepper sprays are not legal here, and i don´t know too many people that carry them, but i do know a lot of girls who carry whistles.

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bermuDa

I'd call the police and tell them to bring an ambulance, cause this guy's going to the hospitol.

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jinobli

heh i would always call the cops, just incase he had a knife or soemthing but that is scary. Women have to worry too much in this world and its rediculous because they arent just a piece of ass. They are human beings .. and have feelings and need to feel safe when walking down the street

Mael

as much as i "hate" being the asshole, i'm going to have to call bullshit on everyone who has not been in this type of situation but has said that they would have kicked his ass/killed him/insert violent action here. it's easy to talk big when sitting at home in front of the computer, but when the shit hits the fan, it's not so easy. it doesn't even have to be an attmepted rape/violent crime. any emergency situatoin. car accident, whatever. people panic/ignore more often then help. and whentit's actually happening to you, panic happens even more foten. since we don't have to deal with it on a daily basis, we don't really know how we'll handle those situations and if we'll be able to keep our heads.

i've got 2 examples for you.

1. as told to me by my old philosophy prof. while talking about ethis/morality and such... a few years ago, not sure how many, some lady cut offa car full of football players (from a michigan university, not sure whch one) and while stopped on the belle isle bridge, they got out and pulled her from her car. lots of people were around in their cars, but did nothing as this lady, afraid that she was gonna get beaten to death jumped off the bridge to her death. just more evidence that with other people around, nobody helps cause everyones sure someone else will.

2. in august 2002, while i was at work, i was passing the front door coming up the stairs and heard someone yelloing for help. there were other people in the front door foyer area, i was the only one who went out to see if i could help. turns out that 4 people were walking through the quad ouside my building and saw a guy strangling a girl on the ground. they yelled at him, the 2 guys chased after him as he ran. the two ladies started yelling for help. i went out to see what was going on, saw the guys running, but didn't knwo what was happening. so i went to the women and helped them tell 911 where we were. i also had noticed that there were other people leaving the quad as i came out. most people will shy away from getting involved. they don't want to have to deal with possible repercussions of helping, like going to court (i had to go 4 times because of this), they dont' want to risk getting hurt themselves, or they're just plain scared or don't care.

in summary, until you've been through this, or something similar, i'm calling "shenanigans" on anyone who says they'll kill the person.

oh, and to the start of this thread (sorry, forgot who it was nad this computer sucks so much i can't see what i'm typing, i'ts like 5 lines behind where i'm at) kudos to you. don't worry abou that secod hesitation. it's natural. you didn't know what was going on and it took you a moment to figure it out what was happening and assess the situation. if you had just blindly run in, you could of been in a world of trouble (well, probalby not with there being four of you, but if you had been alone) and "her being able to get away" as many have said isn't important if you get hurt too. calling the cops to get help there is the # 1 priority, then trying to intervene in a safe manner. so anyways, you did good.

Root_Beer_Man

I would have does the same as you would. Try and stay out of other peoples business untill it gets outta hand...then call the cops...if noting else...try and interupt the conflict to the best of your ability. Personally im a pussy when it comes to physical strenght so i wouldn't get my ass on the line without some backup or at least a shotgun.

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