Child Harnesses - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

raeanna74 · 09-13-2003, 06:18 AM

I'm just wondering what you guys would think of child harnesses. I personally use one often with my 3 yr old daughter. It's a simple chest strap with shoulder straps and velcro. It's designed for children and I bought it at the local Walmart store. I haven't seen any other children wearing them. My daughter has a lot of energy and when she's not in a cooperative mood especialy I use it when in the department or grocery store. She doesn't mind it except when she knows it will restrict her from running around and she is wanting to do her own thing. I use it because I think it's rude to have children running around, it'd dangerous when she runs off and I'm able to concentrate on what I need to get without worrying that she'll get snatched. Mostly I have gotten positive feedback from people in the stores. This past week though was a disappointment.

My daughter was very antsy and instead of making her ride in the basket of the cart because it's hard to get her in an out of the seat I let her walk with the harness on. She wasn't minding it. In fact while I was standing there comparing some shampoos she decided to play "doggy" and while she "panted" she held her "paws" in front of her like she was begging. Personally I though it was harmless but a woman came around the corner into the isle I was in. I glanced up because she stopped dead and stared at me. My daughter caught her presence and stopped her game. The woman just gave me the most scathing look and said "There's no need for a leash on a child." Then apparently forgetting to get what she needed she turned tail and waltzed off.

I never responded and just finished my shopping. I've gotten enough positive feedback from people that this woman shouldn't matter to me but I can't help but think about it.

Do you guys think a harness on a 3 rd old child is overkill? Am I just being paranoid or controlling? Any thoughts to help me forget this woman's rude comment would be helpful.

Wile E · 09-13-2003, 06:30 AM

Every parent must do whats right for them and their children and every situation is completely different. It is very easy to pass judgement on others situations when not knowing anything about it. I wouldn't be bothered by her looks or any other comments you may receive if you feel like you are doing the best thing for your child.

That being said, I am not one for harnesses. I believe it takes away from a discipline that the child should be receiving from the parent. Its kinda like using a tv to babysit. Yes children will get into trouble without the harness, but thats parting of the growing pains of being a parent. Use these situations to teach and help the kid grow up to be respectful of their surroundings. If they are on a harness or leesh when they are younger, they have not learned these important lessons and will be even more difficult to control as they get older.

splck · 09-13-2003, 07:41 AM

I would have said "thank you for your kind comment" or "why do you say that". I'm sure she would have been the first to give you the scathing look if your daughter was running around.
Don't worry about whay other people say, I'm sure you have your reasons for using a harness. I agree with Wile E in that you should limit it's use. I can see using one at a real busy fairground or something like that. Nothing worse than a missing child.

I have twin girls, a harness sure would have helped while out shopping.

redravin40 · 09-13-2003, 07:56 AM

I used harnesses on my kiddos when they were that age.
Don't worry what other people think.
That one time when you can stop them from dashing out in the street will make it all worth it.

stldickie · 09-13-2003, 08:23 AM

I'm anti-harness, but I guess it's a personal parenting choice.

raeanna74 · 09-13-2003, 08:24 AM

I do limit the harnesses use. When in the airport or on a layover with her on the way to another gate it's so great. I don't have to worry about leaving baggage to chase her down or someone snatching her. I don't use it too often. Mostly when she is out of control and so I warn her that if she can't calm down and stay near me that I will have to put her harness on. She's getting too tall for the seat in the carts and putting her in the basket sometimes can result in squashed food. I agree. My use of the harness is dwindling some because she is learning to listen. It's just I felt like I was some sort of abuser or something when she gave me that look. Thanks guys.

Shyla Loral · 09-13-2003, 08:26 AM

I didn't use a harness, but aren't opposed to one when it's needed, either. However, I would also limit its use.
Take care,
Shyla

Cynthetiq · 09-13-2003, 08:34 AM

each partent makes their own decisions. do what works for you and your family.

i'm not a leash person. i agree with the lady, but i'm not about to tell you how to raise your kids.

i_t_man · 09-13-2003, 09:08 AM

I used to be against them, that was until I had kids of my own and read about kids being snatched while they were standing right next to their parents.

Also, I've noticed that the people that are the quickest to give you parenting advice are the people that don't have kids.

ninety09 · 09-13-2003, 09:11 AM

If you don't mind threating your kids like dogs, then sure, go ahead..

RoadRage · 09-13-2003, 09:19 AM

We used them on our 8 year old son, nolo problemo. ONe person told us that it was cruel, I asked Ms. Nosy if she had kids, she said 'No', and my wife promptly told her to STFU. The 15 month-old is now inheriting the harness.

Harness use comes in handy later on. If my son starts acting like a little shit in Wal-Mart, I hint that we need to get a big-enough pinch collar from Petsmart, and he settles down pretty quick.because I'll actually do it.

Threats work much better when they think you're actually crazy enough to do it.

yankeefatboy · 09-13-2003, 10:04 AM

harness/leash vs. the alternative: lost child! don't let anyone sway your choice on this one. Some children are more "active" than others and need special help

ratbastid · 09-13-2003, 01:10 PM

Man, I don't know where some people come off, telling other people how they ought to raise their children. It's clear to me and anyone else who [i]talks to you about it[i] that you it's a tool, used in moderation, to protect your daughter from the world and the world from your daughter.

I don't have kids, but I have noticed that the parents who have their kids on a leash seem WAY more sensible and realistic, to me, than those who yell ineffectually after them while they tear stores and restaurants apart.

Ganguro · 09-13-2003, 01:15 PM

i'd "leash" my kids if i had them. Sure it may appear cruel to some people, but nothing is cruelier than having to live with yourself if you child is snatched becasue you were getting groceries and they ran off. Dont use it as a substitute for smacking that child on the head when they do something wrong, but if it helps you keep track of them, more power to you.
I wish my mom harnessed me sometimes.. i got lost quite a few times as a child because i was too inquisitive.

Lyaec123 · 09-13-2003, 01:21 PM

I think it's kinda overkill and always give weird looks to parents walking around with their seemingly well behaved kid on a leash, but trust me, it's a hell of a lot better than some of those parents who just let thier kids run wild in stores/restaraunts.

Baldrick · 09-13-2003, 01:23 PM

Quote:

those who yell ineffectually after them while they tear stores and restaurants apart

Or even worse, don't do a damned thing while their kids run amok. That pisses me off in a hurry...

Personally, I'm dead sead against leashes on kids - but I would never judge anyone's "parenting skills" based on this! My girls are extremely well behaved, and I refused to restrain them in any way. But, I have two friends who do use leashes when they go to malls. Their kids really are great, but tend to get a little excited and run off when they see something cool.

They use the leashes so they don't lose the kids when they look away for a second.

lurkette · 09-13-2003, 01:24 PM

I think every parent has the right to choose for themselves, and what's right for your daughter is 1. up to you, and 2. not what's necessarily right for any other kid.

I do think unless you're abusing a kid or letting the kid run wild (which you very kindly WEREN'T) or doing something that might lead to your child getting hurt (letting them stand up in the cart or something) it's nobody's business and the woman was out of line to comment.

I also think the whole "leash" thing has been blown out of proportion. Sure you use a leash on a dog, but I hardly think a little kid is going to think "my mommy puts a leash on my just like a doggy, she must think I'm an animal" which I think is where people get pissed - they think it's demeaning or something, a metaphorical leap that a kid is not likely to make. All the kid thinks is "want toy! want toy! want toy! oof, can't go any further" and if they do make the "doggy" connection, they more than likely think it's fun and pretend, just like your daughter did.

sixate · 09-13-2003, 01:40 PM

I hate to say it, but when I see a parent who has their kid on a leash all I can think of is what a lazy parent they are, and that they shouldn't have kids cause they don't have the energy to watch after them. Kids are not pets and should never be treated as such. As far as I'm concerned throwing a leash around a kid is child abuse. When I was a kid I never wondered away from my mom, and that's because she knew it was her responsibility to make sure that it wouldn't happen, and it didn't. It takes effort and because most people are lazy they just can't do it. For the sake of your child, I would strongly suggest burning the leash as soon as possible.

ARTelevision · 09-13-2003, 01:42 PM

"Do you guys think a harness on a 3 rd old child is overkill? Am I just being paranoid or controlling? ?

In my opinion - Yes.

IC3 · 09-13-2003, 02:01 PM

If it's designed for kids, Then what's the problem?

Kids are curious and like to wander, I think that it's normal for a 3 year old not to realize that he/she has to stay by Mom's side at all times.

I'm not really sure where child abuse comes into this...

Who really cares what other people think...From what you said nobody except for 1 person has commented about it...So the few that do complain...Just brush them off your shoulder.

It's none of thier Buisness anyways..

I was holding my friends Pitbull one day while he ran into the store and he had a piece of rope for a leash...It was just a temporary thing till he got a real leash...But somebody made a smart ass Comment as they walked by saying "Dog on a rope" I gave him a pretty dirty look and asked if he had a problem, But he just kept walking.

If it gives you extra security over your kid...Then Keep using it.

BoCo · 09-13-2003, 02:16 PM

This is one of the most disturbing things I've ever heard of. Once a person becomes a parent, they need to pay complete attention to their children at all times. Using a leash not only tells me they are unresponsible, but it's definately the lazy man's way out, and that's not something to teach your children.

Toss it in the trash and be a responsible parent.

Lebell · 09-13-2003, 02:50 PM

Considering how our society is today, no, I don't think you are being paranoid or controlling.

I've not seen any data that says a harness is harmful to a child's psyche, so I wouldn't worry about it.

I would have asked Ms Nosy if she were a registered child therapist and when she said, "no", I would have replied, "Well, I'll give your opinion all the consideration it deserves, thank you!" and walked away.

Lebell · 09-13-2003, 02:51 PM

Oh, and of all those who are decrying the use of the leash, how many of you are actually parents?

ARTelevision · 09-13-2003, 03:36 PM

me, why?

a1t3r3g0 · 09-13-2003, 03:48 PM

Well, I saw some lady with her kid on one at the mall once. I thought it was awful to see it, but then again it may not be a bad idea. Hell my parent's probably should have used one on me when I was a little kid, I was a lil devil

filtherton · 09-13-2003, 04:08 PM

Why childproof your house either? If you were really responsible you would make sure your child didn't get into anything he/she wasn't supposed to. All of you parents who got rid of your guns and started locking up your poisonous cleaners when your child started to crawl are lazy and irresponsible. (sarcasm)

sixate · 09-13-2003, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lebell
Oh, and of all those who are decrying the use of the leash, how many of you are actually parents?

Not I, but that doesn't mean a thing. That's a lame argument if you're trying to start one. Kids should be treated as people... Not animals. Why not just get them neutered/spade while you're at it?

lurkette · 09-13-2003, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sixate
Not I, but that doesn't mean a thing. That's a lame argument if you're trying to start one. Kids should be treated as people... Not animals. Why not just get them neutered/spade while you're at it?

Oh, come on. If someone puts a kid in a playpen, do you object because it's like a kennel? Or if they let them play in those little tunnel things, do you object because it's too much like a hamster run? Are sandboxes too much like litterboxes? I think everyone blows this all out of proportion, and there's no "animalizing" of the kid just because they have a tether on. Again, it's the adults who make that connection and not the kids. If the options are let the kid run free or have a grip on their hand all the time, the first is undesirable and the second, once they hit a certain age, is impractical. I see no good reason not to use a tether if the parent is otherwise attentive and the kid is well-behaved.

sixate · 09-13-2003, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by lurkette
Oh, come on. If someone puts a kid in a playpen, do you object because it's like a kennel? Or if they let them play in those little tunnel things, do you object because it's too much like a hamster run? Are sandboxes too much like litterboxes? I think everyone blows this all out of proportion, and there's no "animalizing" of the kid just because they have a tether on. Again, it's the adults who make that connection and not the kids. If the options are let the kid run free or have a grip on their hand all the time, the first is undesirable and the second, once they hit a certain age, is impractical. I see no good reason not to use a tether if the parent is otherwise attentive and the kid is well-behaved.

I wouldn't/won't use a playpen when/if I ever have kids. I was never put in one when I was a kid, and that's because my mother wasn't lazy. She spent the time it took to teach me and my sister how to behave. She didn't just lock us up or strap us into a leash because she couldn't control us. I'll also add that I was never hit as a child. My mom always taught me and my sister the difference between right and wrong and we both understood those differences at young ages, and the reason we understood it was because we were never treated like children or animals! We were always treated just like any other adult.

I'll object to the sandbox thing if the child starts to shit in it.

Then I would blame that on a lazy ass parent, once again, who isn't spending enough quality time with their children.

I disagree that it's adults making the leashes=animal connection. She said that her child was acting like a dog in public.

I have a serious problem with that. Try and tell me that her child didn't make the animal connection to having a leash on her. I can assure you that I never acted like that in public when I was a kid. People always told my parents that they couldn't believe how well mannered me and my sister were when we were young..... And my mom didn't need a leash or a playpen to accomplish that.

Double D · 09-13-2003, 06:07 PM

Feh. You guys that are anti-leash don't get it.

Babies--defined as children under the age of three-- are untamed little creatures--some until later ages than others--no matter how much *training* you give them.

Some kids are walking at age one. A child restraint device is used to protect a child, much like safety seat in a car. A harness is nowhere as restrictive as a car seat btw; being in one of those is like being entombed--but I digress.

One simply cannot keep one's eyes glued to a child and do anything else, i.e. shop & pay for groceries, etc.

Over-use of the leash is not cool, but if you gotta get a job done--and a stroller isn't appropriate/available then put the harness thingie with the *leash* on the kid, and be safe.

sixate · 09-13-2003, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Double D
Babies--defined as children under the age of three-- are untamed little creatures--some until later ages than others--no matter how much *training* you give them.

Anyone who actually believes that a child is an untamed creatures should never have a kid. I'll bet any amount of money that a parent who believes that will have serious problems with their children. It's not about training or controlling... It's about teaching. Something that most people can't do. I'm not saying it's an easy thing to do, but it can be done with a lot of effort.

stldickie · 09-13-2003, 06:46 PM

My daughter was never an untamed creature, sure it is stressful keeping up at times, but I never felt like I needed to tie a rope to her!

Lebell · 09-13-2003, 08:45 PM

Art,

Because I am more interested in hearing a parent's point of view than someone who hasn't had children.

Sixate,

Most of the arguements I would make in reply to you have already been well made by lurkette and Double D.

You're certainly welcome to your opinion and I will continue to disagree with it.

But if you see me with my kid in a harness, kindly keep it to yourself, because frankly, I'm not interested in debating my parenting style with you.

Lebell · 09-13-2003, 08:50 PM

I just realised that I sounded a bit harsh, but it really gets my goat when I am out in public minding my own business and someone feels like they need to share an opinion that is unasked for and unwelcome, especially when I feel it is ignorant.

Double D · 09-13-2003, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sixate
Anyone who actually believes that a child is an untamed creatures should never have a kid. I'll bet any amount of money that a parent who believes that will have serious problems with their children. It's not about training or controlling... It's about teaching. Something that most people can't do. I'm not saying it's an easy thing to do, but it can be done with a lot of effort.

Okay Sixate, I'll bite.

Here's precisely what I mean by *little untamed creature.*

untamed

adj : in a natural state; not tamed or domesticated or cultivated;
----------------------
crea·ture
n.

Something created.

A living being, especially an animal: land creatures; microscopic creatures in a drop of water.
A human.
An imaginary or fantastical being: mythological creatures; a creature from outer space.
One dependent on or subservient to another.
-----------------------

lit·tle
adj. lit·tler, or less (ls) also less·er (lsr) lit·tlest or least (lst)

Being at an early stage of growth; young: a little child.
Younger or youngest. Used especially of a sibling: My little brother is leaving for college next week.

Source: WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University
-------------------------------------------------

And you may be right. Maybe I never should have had children.

One has done little with his life so far.

The other is in the full-day gifted program, sings in a choir that performs internationally, plays trumpet well, is a Boy Scout, and is all 'round decent & kind person.

I find it very ironic that people that have never taken on the most challenging job in the world, deign to foist their judgmental attitudes on those of us that have undertaken the task.

To use a favorite phrase of yours, those people should STFU.

Double D · 09-13-2003, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lebell
I just realised that I sounded a bit harsh, but it really gets my goat when I am out in public minding my own business and someone feels like they need to share an opinion that is unasked for and unwelcome, especially when I feel it is ignorant.

No Lebell, you do not sound harsh.The harshness was started earlier in this thread.

You sound like a caring responsible parent, as is the lady who started this thread.

I just wish she had gotten the kind support that a vast number of people showed me when I was looking for a bit of advice.

ARTelevision · 09-13-2003, 09:06 PM

right...
Typically I don't just proffer my opinions on this sort of thing.
The thread starter requested them and ended the post with a couple of questions. I figure it's one of those trying to get a cross-section sampling of audience feedback deals.

Lebell · 09-13-2003, 09:10 PM

understood.

ARTelevision · 09-13-2003, 09:22 PM

heh, looks like in good ole' TFP fashion, we've supplied that

RoadRage · 09-13-2003, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Double D
I find it very ironic that people that have never taken on the most challenging job in the world, deign to foist their judgmental attitudes on those of us that have undertaken the task.

To use a favorite phrase of yours, those people should STFU.

Amen and send money.

Sixate and BoCo: if either of you jokers ever actually end up with a child (

yeah right, no woman would put up with either of you two

), then your opinions on this will actually be worth something. And I guarantee you would change your minds real quick.

No one can keep an eye on a child 24/7. I tried, it doesn't work. You will have nothing accomplished except that you've raise a child that will demand to be the center of attention at all times and regardless of the cost to themselves or their family.

A leash allows you to give the child a limited range to roam while you still maintain a sufficient amount of control over where they are going. It allows you to balance exploration (needed for proper brain development) with safety (needed to keep the child from danger). If you don't let a child explore, they will grow up to be imbeciles. If you don't keep a child safe, they won't get to grow up.

When properly used, the leash is an excellent parenting tool. Even when it's not properly used, at least the kids aren't destroying the store and running out into the parking lot.

You want to see the lazy parent? It's not the one with the leash, it's the one whose children are the candy aisle opening every package because someone thought their children were too righteous to be restrained in any way.

09-13-2003, 06:18 AM	#1 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	Child Harnesses I'm just wondering what you guys would think of child harnesses. I personally use one often with my 3 yr old daughter. It's a simple chest strap with shoulder straps and velcro. It's designed for children and I bought it at the local Walmart store. I haven't seen any other children wearing them. My daughter has a lot of energy and when she's not in a cooperative mood especialy I use it when in the department or grocery store. She doesn't mind it except when she knows it will restrict her from running around and she is wanting to do her own thing. I use it because I think it's rude to have children running around, it'd dangerous when she runs off and I'm able to concentrate on what I need to get without worrying that she'll get snatched. Mostly I have gotten positive feedback from people in the stores. This past week though was a disappointment. My daughter was very antsy and instead of making her ride in the basket of the cart because it's hard to get her in an out of the seat I let her walk with the harness on. She wasn't minding it. In fact while I was standing there comparing some shampoos she decided to play "doggy" and while she "panted" she held her "paws" in front of her like she was begging. Personally I though it was harmless but a woman came around the corner into the isle I was in. I glanced up because she stopped dead and stared at me. My daughter caught her presence and stopped her game. The woman just gave me the most scathing look and said "There's no need for a leash on a child." Then apparently forgetting to get what she needed she turned tail and waltzed off. I never responded and just finished my shopping. I've gotten enough positive feedback from people that this woman shouldn't matter to me but I can't help but think about it. Do you guys think a harness on a 3 rd old child is overkill? Am I just being paranoid or controlling? Any thoughts to help me forget this woman's rude comment would be helpful. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

09-13-2003, 06:30 AM	#2 (permalink)
Wile E Insane Location: Burbs of NYC	Every parent must do whats right for them and their children and every situation is completely different. It is very easy to pass judgement on others situations when not knowing anything about it. I wouldn't be bothered by her looks or any other comments you may receive if you feel like you are doing the best thing for your child. That being said, I am not one for harnesses. I believe it takes away from a discipline that the child should be receiving from the parent. Its kinda like using a tv to babysit. Yes children will get into trouble without the harness, but thats parting of the growing pains of being a parent. Use these situations to teach and help the kid grow up to be respectful of their surroundings. If they are on a harness or leesh when they are younger, they have not learned these important lessons and will be even more difficult to control as they get older. __________________ "We got no food, no clothes...our pets HEADS ARE FALLIN' OFF!"

09-13-2003, 07:41 AM	#3 (permalink)
splck it's jam Location: Lowerainland BC	I would have said "thank you for your kind comment" or "why do you say that". I'm sure she would have been the first to give you the scathing look if your daughter was running around. Don't worry about whay other people say, I'm sure you have your reasons for using a harness. I agree with Wile E in that you should limit it's use. I can see using one at a real busy fairground or something like that. Nothing worse than a missing child. I have twin girls, a harness sure would have helped while out shopping. __________________ nice line eh?

09-13-2003, 08:24 AM	#6 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	I do limit the harnesses use. When in the airport or on a layover with her on the way to another gate it's so great. I don't have to worry about leaving baggage to chase her down or someone snatching her. I don't use it too often. Mostly when she is out of control and so I warn her that if she can't calm down and stay near me that I will have to put her harness on. She's getting too tall for the seat in the carts and putting her in the basket sometimes can result in squashed food. I agree. My use of the harness is dwindling some because she is learning to listen. It's just I felt like I was some sort of abuser or something when she gave me that look. Thanks guys. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

09-13-2003, 08:26 AM	#7 (permalink)
Shyla Loral Crazy Location: Austin	I didn't use a harness, but aren't opposed to one when it's needed, either. However, I would also limit its use. Take care, Shyla __________________ "Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead" Ben Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac. Meff r0x

09-13-2003, 07:56 AM	#4 (permalink)
redravin40 Loser Location: With Jadzia	I used harnesses on my kiddos when they were that age. Don't worry what other people think. That one time when you can stop them from dashing out in the street will make it all worth it.

09-13-2003, 08:23 AM	#5 (permalink)
stldickie Addict	I'm anti-harness, but I guess it's a personal parenting choice.

09-13-2003, 08:34 AM	#8 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	each partent makes their own decisions. do what works for you and your family. i'm not a leash person. i agree with the lady, but i'm not about to tell you how to raise your kids. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

09-13-2003, 09:08 AM	#9 (permalink)
i_t_man Tilted Location: Seattle	I used to be against them, that was until I had kids of my own and read about kids being snatched while they were standing right next to their parents. Also, I've noticed that the people that are the quickest to give you parenting advice are the people that don't have kids.

09-13-2003, 09:11 AM	#10 (permalink)
ninety09 Flavour of the Weak Location: Canada	If you don't mind threating your kids like dogs, then sure, go ahead..

09-13-2003, 09:19 AM	#11 (permalink)
RoadRage Stay off the sidewalk! Location: Oklahoma City, OK	We used them on our 8 year old son, nolo problemo. ONe person told us that it was cruel, I asked Ms. Nosy if she had kids, she said 'No', and my wife promptly told her to STFU. The 15 month-old is now inheriting the harness. Harness use comes in handy later on. If my son starts acting like a little shit in Wal-Mart, I hint that we need to get a big-enough pinch collar from Petsmart, and he settles down pretty quick.because I'll actually do it. Threats work much better when they think you're actually crazy enough to do it. __________________ Join TFP Team SETI 43K workunits complete, 34 members, more of each needed.

09-13-2003, 10:04 AM	#12 (permalink)
yankeefatboy Addict Location: northern california	harness/leash vs. the alternative: lost child! don't let anyone sway your choice on this one. Some children are more "active" than others and need special help

09-13-2003, 01:10 PM	#13 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	Man, I don't know where some people come off, telling other people how they ought to raise their children. It's clear to me and anyone else who [i]talks to you about it[i] that you it's a tool, used in moderation, to protect your daughter from the world and the world from your daughter. I don't have kids, but I have noticed that the parents who have their kids on a leash seem WAY more sensible and realistic, to me, than those who yell ineffectually after them while they tear stores and restaurants apart.

09-13-2003, 01:15 PM	#14 (permalink)
Ganguro Army of Me	i'd "leash" my kids if i had them. Sure it may appear cruel to some people, but nothing is cruelier than having to live with yourself if you child is snatched becasue you were getting groceries and they ran off. Dont use it as a substitute for smacking that child on the head when they do something wrong, but if it helps you keep track of them, more power to you. I wish my mom harnessed me sometimes.. i got lost quite a few times as a child because i was too inquisitive.

09-13-2003, 01:21 PM	#15 (permalink)
Lyaec123 Crazy	I think it's kinda overkill and always give weird looks to parents walking around with their seemingly well behaved kid on a leash, but trust me, it's a hell of a lot better than some of those parents who just let thier kids run wild in stores/restaraunts.

09-13-2003, 01:24 PM	#17 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	I think every parent has the right to choose for themselves, and what's right for your daughter is 1. up to you, and 2. not what's necessarily right for any other kid. I do think unless you're abusing a kid or letting the kid run wild (which you very kindly WEREN'T) or doing something that might lead to your child getting hurt (letting them stand up in the cart or something) it's nobody's business and the woman was out of line to comment. I also think the whole "leash" thing has been blown out of proportion. Sure you use a leash on a dog, but I hardly think a little kid is going to think "my mommy puts a leash on my just like a doggy, she must think I'm an animal" which I think is where people get pissed - they think it's demeaning or something, a metaphorical leap that a kid is not likely to make. All the kid thinks is "want toy! want toy! want toy! oof, can't go any further" and if they do make the "doggy" connection, they more than likely think it's fun and pretend, just like your daughter did. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

09-13-2003, 01:40 PM	#18 (permalink)
sixate Registered User Location: Somewhere in Ohio	I hate to say it, but when I see a parent who has their kid on a leash all I can think of is what a lazy parent they are, and that they shouldn't have kids cause they don't have the energy to watch after them. Kids are not pets and should never be treated as such. As far as I'm concerned throwing a leash around a kid is child abuse. When I was a kid I never wondered away from my mom, and that's because she knew it was her responsibility to make sure that it wouldn't happen, and it didn't. It takes effort and because most people are lazy they just can't do it. For the sake of your child, I would strongly suggest burning the leash as soon as possible.

09-13-2003, 01:42 PM	#19 (permalink)
ARTelevision I change Location: USA	"Do you guys think a harness on a 3 rd old child is overkill? Am I just being paranoid or controlling? ? In my opinion - Yes. __________________ create evolution

09-13-2003, 02:01 PM	#20 (permalink)
IC3 Poison Location: Canada	If it's designed for kids, Then what's the problem? Kids are curious and like to wander, I think that it's normal for a 3 year old not to realize that he/she has to stay by Mom's side at all times. I'm not really sure where child abuse comes into this... Who really cares what other people think...From what you said nobody except for 1 person has commented about it...So the few that do complain...Just brush them off your shoulder. It's none of thier Buisness anyways.. I was holding my friends Pitbull one day while he ran into the store and he had a piece of rope for a leash...It was just a temporary thing till he got a real leash...But somebody made a smart ass Comment as they walked by saying "Dog on a rope" I gave him a pretty dirty look and asked if he had a problem, But he just kept walking. If it gives you extra security over your kid...Then Keep using it.

09-13-2003, 02:16 PM	#21 (permalink)
BoCo Fear the bunny Location: Hanging off the tip of the Right Wing	This is one of the most disturbing things I've ever heard of. Once a person becomes a parent, they need to pay complete attention to their children at all times. Using a leash not only tells me they are unresponsible, but it's definately the lazy man's way out, and that's not something to teach your children. Toss it in the trash and be a responsible parent. __________________ Activism is a way for useless people to feel important.

09-13-2003, 02:50 PM	#22 (permalink)
Lebell Cracking the Whip Location: Sexymama's arms...	Considering how our society is today, no, I don't think you are being paranoid or controlling. I've not seen any data that says a harness is harmful to a child's psyche, so I wouldn't worry about it. I would have asked Ms Nosy if she were a registered child therapist and when she said, "no", I would have replied, "Well, I'll give your opinion all the consideration it deserves, thank you!" and walked away. __________________ "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis The ONLY sponsors we have are YOU! Please Donate!

09-13-2003, 02:51 PM	#23 (permalink)
Lebell Cracking the Whip Location: Sexymama's arms...	Oh, and of all those who are decrying the use of the leash, how many of you are actually parents? __________________ "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis The ONLY sponsors we have are YOU! Please Donate!

09-13-2003, 03:36 PM	#24 (permalink)
ARTelevision I change Location: USA	me, why? __________________ create evolution

09-13-2003, 03:48 PM	#25 (permalink)
a1t3r3g0 Psycho Location: 127.0.0.1	Well, I saw some lady with her kid on one at the mall once. I thought it was awful to see it, but then again it may not be a bad idea. Hell my parent's probably should have used one on me when I was a little kid, I was a lil devil

09-13-2003, 04:08 PM	#26 (permalink)
filtherton Junkie Location: In the land of ice and snow.	Why childproof your house either? If you were really responsible you would make sure your child didn't get into anything he/she wasn't supposed to. All of you parents who got rid of your guns and started locking up your poisonous cleaners when your child started to crawl are lazy and irresponsible. (sarcasm)

09-13-2003, 06:07 PM	#30 (permalink)
Double D Junkie Location: Chicagoland	Feh. You guys that are anti-leash don't get it. Babies--defined as children under the age of three-- are untamed little creatures--some until later ages than others--no matter how much training you give them. Some kids are walking at age one. A child restraint device is used to protect a child, much like safety seat in a car. A harness is nowhere as restrictive as a car seat btw; being in one of those is like being entombed--but I digress. One simply cannot keep one's eyes glued to a child and do anything else, i.e. shop & pay for groceries, etc. Over-use of the leash is not cool, but if you gotta get a job done--and a stroller isn't appropriate/available then put the harness thingie with the leash on the kid, and be safe.

09-13-2003, 06:46 PM	#32 (permalink)
stldickie Addict	My daughter was never an untamed creature, sure it is stressful keeping up at times, but I never felt like I needed to tie a rope to her!

09-13-2003, 08:45 PM	#33 (permalink)
Lebell Cracking the Whip Location: Sexymama's arms...	Art, Because I am more interested in hearing a parent's point of view than someone who hasn't had children. Sixate, Most of the arguements I would make in reply to you have already been well made by lurkette and Double D. You're certainly welcome to your opinion and I will continue to disagree with it. But if you see me with my kid in a harness, kindly keep it to yourself, because frankly, I'm not interested in debating my parenting style with you. __________________ "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis The ONLY sponsors we have are YOU! Please Donate!

09-13-2003, 08:50 PM	#34 (permalink)
Lebell Cracking the Whip Location: Sexymama's arms...	I just realised that I sounded a bit harsh, but it really gets my goat when I am out in public minding my own business and someone feels like they need to share an opinion that is unasked for and unwelcome, especially when I feel it is ignorant. __________________ "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis The ONLY sponsors we have are YOU! Please Donate!

09-13-2003, 09:06 PM	#37 (permalink)
ARTelevision I change Location: USA	right... Typically I don't just proffer my opinions on this sort of thing. The thread starter requested them and ended the post with a couple of questions. I figure it's one of those trying to get a cross-section sampling of audience feedback deals. __________________ create evolution

09-13-2003, 09:10 PM	#38 (permalink)
Lebell Cracking the Whip Location: Sexymama's arms...	understood. __________________ "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis The ONLY sponsors we have are YOU! Please Donate!

09-13-2003, 09:22 PM	#39 (permalink)
ARTelevision I change Location: USA	heh, looks like in good ole' TFP fashion, we've supplied that __________________ create evolution