LaughingCow

Thursday afternoon (before the blackout) we noticed that our garden hose was missing! Someone unscrewed it from where it connects to the house, and made off with it!!

This was a good $80 one too. We're not sure when it was taken, either the night before, or that morning, but who steals a hose, escpecially a 100 foot one???

No one on our street saw anyone lugging the hose away, so we figure it must have been at night (though my mom was sure she saw it there first thing in morning).

I'm just glad they didn't steal my bike, which was right beside the hose, and not locked up!

Bloody hose stealers...

Nefir

I guess one of your neighbors must have felt insecure about his short, inadequate hose. Its probably the one with the expensive sports car.

Seriously, thats just messed up. I guess the knowledge that nobody's watching really brings out the worst in people. But you have to admit, this blackout was NOTHING in terms of chaos, as was the previous 1970's one.

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Lebell

About 20 years ago one summer, someone went down my aunt and uncle's street and stole all the potted and hanging plants people had put out.

I guess he must have been starting a green house on the cheap.

Anyway, since then, I expect anything I put outside to be stolen at some point and spend accordingly.

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"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis

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Giant Hamburger

Hail LaughingCow!

I’m sorry.
I could not resist your beautiful hose.

I collect them

This is my vacuum hose collection.

I play tradition hose music on holidays with garden hoses such as the one you owned.

Yours has a throaty warbling bass sound I like.

I maintain an extensive hose library.

Your former hose will never be lonely again.

Admit it, your hose is in a far better place.
It will live the life that most hoses can only dream of.
Let it go. You will find another one that is right for you.
-GH

sub zero

Maybe your dog ate it.

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ARTelevision

my name, hose' jimenez...

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bundy

hehe...
i remember having to explain to my grandmother exactly why the local kids where cutting small sections off the end of her hose.

she just couldn´t understand why they weren´t just stealing the whole thing for their own gardens.

but i guess if they stole your whole 100ft hose, then i guess your local kids have got quite a large operation going on there.

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wario

Um, why were they cutting off just the end of the hoses?

Fifteen Short

Its due to budget cut backs. Firemen are going on hose runs.

cchris

It's an aussie tradition.
That and orchy bottle collecting.

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Fire

ok- I'll bite- who starts a tradition like that- and why-granted, its unique, but god, do you guys just have tons of time on your hands?

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ratbastid

When I read the title of this thread, I really expected the content to be a little dirtier.....

Dave

LMAO, soo true.

The number of OJ bottles with hose in the side that I see in gutters at the end of small dark streets makes me think there's either a lot of smokers in this area, or one person who smokes more than is humanly possible

For those who aren't from .au:
hose + orchy Bottle = cheap bong

bundy

taking only what you need is an admirable Aussie way of life.

as for the ´end of the hose´ tradition... well, that was probably started way back in the ´60s in the suburbs.

the local kids of cronulla, or turramurra, or parramatta, or maybe even gosford, having just harvested their first crop of the green weed, may well have run out of tally-ho´s or other adequate joint rolling paper.

then, possibly having seen some exotic hashish pipe use on some progressive, hippie doco, they may have been inspired to start creating the all-purpose orchy-bottle bong.

so, when you´re lost in the suburbs, what materials are available??

clearly, the garden hose is the best piping... and to avoid being too obvious, and thus being found out by the all-too knowing parents... these crafty cunning stunt artists decided to only take as much as they need.

take just the end. so that no one will know.

but this, of course, is just supposition.

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Fly

i thought it was for suckin' gas outta your neighbours vehicle.

i like the bong effect better though.

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cchris

Back in my bad ole days I used to be able to knock one together in 30 seconds flat.

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JBX

Do'h I thought you said bloody "Horse" stealers. This changes everything. You can't hang a hose thief.

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drawerfixer

I hope it wasn't a flat hose! Those are just cool looking. Best of luck with the hose thiefs.

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bundy

30 seconds!!
thats quick... that makes me think about the local park, where there was a whole stash of equipment (hose bits, bottles etc).
once there, with all of the pieces, it never took too long to knock them together.

lol, some bright spark even spraypainted a big sign with an arrow pointing to the equipment stash that said...

BONG BITS -------->

funny times...

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MSD

Search Kazaa for "how to make a bong matrix style"

They're mass-producing those now

Ashton

Darkblack

Why is that hose so much? I wouldn't pay 80 bucks on a hose...

LaughingCow

The hose is so much becuase it's made out of good quality material. We were tired of having to replace them all the time, and got a good one. Plus they took the nozzle and the spool it was on as well.

Considering that there are quite a few pot-heads living in my area, it wouldn't surprise me if thats what it was for, lol

Never ended up finding what happened to it, no one saw it being taken, so we'll just have to cut our loss and buy a new one. Maybe I'll install some kind of tracking device on it this time,

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Haacha!

Vyk

after having lived in the philippines for awhile I learned to just assume anything left outside the house would be stolen. Maybe a bit paranoid but eh, keeps me from losing anything I'd cry about

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rockogre

Maybe he got "hosed" on the deal.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

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LaughingCow

Hehe, got a chuckle out of me.

Ashton

killerjoejoe

my...my hose...

I will get you Giant Hamburger...IM COMING FOR YOU!

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Maveric

fuckin' halarious! i rolled outta my chair when i saw that!

uncle phil

"my name, hose' jimenez..."

art, not only did you grab this line before i could, but you used my ellipses, too...(me/cries...)

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rockogre

Reckon more than 10 of us got the reference? We had that album when I was a kid.

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thebigk

A friend of mine had someone steal just the "spray gun end" (whatever it's really called) from off her hose - and the water was on at the time go they must've got a faceful.

It's truly incredible what people will steal.