DRP976

Does anyone else fear growing old? I know...its inevitable. This has never bothered me before until my 20th birthday. (Im currently 24) I am no longer a teen anymore, let alone a kid. What worries me the most about getting old is: (taken from an article on the net)

1. Being undesirable. Most see fine lines and wrinkles, frown lines, laugh lines, sagging skin, etc with a sense of negativity. These are linked with ‘ugly’. This seems to apply to females more often than not, thanks to marketers. They spend billions in advertising every year to reinforce negativity in the notion looking old, so it leads to continual sales for their anti-aging products. The anti-aging consumer goods category continue to grow yearly. The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty movement attempted to move away from that, but even then we are still bombarded by the whole industry which is still entrenched in a certain notion of beauty.

2. Sickness, pain, suffering. With old age comes increased probability of sickness, decreased physical ability, medical conditions such as dementia (Alzheimer’s disease), heart disease, cancer, etc. These are seen to come hand in hand with pain and suffering.

3. Being lesser than who they should be. All of us have goals and dreams. When you were younger, you would have consciously or unconsciously envisioned yourself being somewhere at a certain age. It may be to earn a lot of money, achieve a certain amount of success and have a family. Reaching a certain age reminds you of your visions, and simultaneously triggers the realization that they are not where they want to be. This realization can be quite painful for some.

4. Fear of Loss. Growing older comes with loss – seeing people pass away, losing what they have now, losing their youth, losing their health (see reason # 2).

5. Being Alone. People see old people as a burden and they try to avoid them. For example, my grandmother is in her 90s and she has over ten children. When it comes to taking care of her, all of them try to shift responsibility from one another, giving reasons like they are too busy. Old age tends to bring solitude.

6. Death. Ultimately, what’s the end of our physical existence? Death. People fear death. Death means losing everything we have. Everything we have built. It also means the end of our existence.

7. Not being able to enjoy motoring/cars/etc. I live for this!!!
(I added 7.)

Anyone else feel this way? Discuss.

P.S. Here is the article if anyone is interested:
Fear of Growing Old

flat5

You don't need to overly concern yourself yet with these matters.
Take good care of yourself physically and mentally.
That's all you can do. You'll be in good shape for 30 years or more if you are lucky.
Some people do much better than that.
When you do get old you will accept it.

flstf

As I grow older the most troubling thing to me is how much faster time seems to pass by. The weeks, months and years seem to fly by.

MeltedMetalGlob

If it makes you feel better, understand that some of the things you mention come very gradually- you're not going to lose all those things you love abruptly. Also, try to take care of yourself and some of those things will not be as bad as they make them out to be.

At 24, I really wouldn't worry about these things- and many of us would still consider you a "kid."

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BadNick

I don't intend to diminish anyones feelings, but two other versions crossed my mind:

1) irrational pre-Gerascophobia: fear of getting old when you're not even 50 yet
2) irrational non-Gerascophobia: lack of fear of getting old even when you're over 60

I tend to be mostly in the #2 category.


I think it helps to find things like this that you love to do, and then do them. Even though the nature of these things change as you get older, find things that you love to do.

Join me at this track day and it'll make you feel better: Mark DaVia's Open Track Experience

PS: I'll be 62 in June.

DRP976

Thanks for the input guys, guess im stressin way too much. Just gotta take it one day at a time and live life. Easier said than done for me but I will do it.

MeltedMetalGlob

Well, you made ME feel a hell of a lot better!

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How's your mom, Ed?

dlish

like others have said, this is a gradual process and you'll ease into it and accept it as part of life.

the good news is that with age you usually become wiser to the ways of the world ( i say usually because its not always the case). At 24 you have a lot of living to do, and just live it without thinking to much about how you're going to go out. It;s not worth it.

acceptance of the status quo will come to you in another 20, 30, 40 years..who knows. but it wont be a bad thing if you've lived without regrets.

if i was closer, i'd have taken badnicks offer

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Ourcrazymodern?

Only time can give the perspective necessary to appreciate its fleeting nature.

If you spend it enjoying it, you'll die happy. What's to fear?

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Craven Morehead

I'm 58 and I don't want to get old, either.

hunnychile

I don't like the idea of getting older but I truly HATE hearing someone (esp. a friend or spouse) moan and go "on and on about how bad it is" or going to be in just a few years! Yuck. Just shut up and deal.

*Wasn't it Bette Davis who said, "Old age isn't for sissies!"

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Zeraph

Not me personally. I welcome old age. I welcome wisdom. I welcome death/moving on. I'm very very very curious about the afterlife. Whether it's blackness, or a new life or something else entirely. All possibilities have their merits.

bagatelle

I've tried to take this fact gradually into consideration. It's easier to grow old with another person. I haven't achieved anything career-wise, but I have family, husband and children, some wealth. Health I'm trying to give more thought, because I'm not that active in excercising.

I don't like talking to my mother (70 soon) a lot, when she's in her certain mood - she has been fearing of withering away for almost two decades now...

There's no fears yet at 43, but a little sadness realizing, not so many new beginnings are possible in life anymore.

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uncle phil

i'm still trying to figure out what i want to be when i grow up and i'm already retired from two types of employment...

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StanT

You play the hand you are dealt. The alternative to growing old is death. I'm 55, other than the over 60 part this fits.
I still ski, hike, ride my motorcycle too fast, and chase my wife around the house naked.

Somewhere along the line drinking until I vomit lost it's appeal; but I really don't miss it.

My mom passed away last year. I'm very aware of my own mortality, but don't see any point in dwelling on it.

citadel

That's my only complaint. I can't control my age though, so I don't really care or worry about it.

jewels

At 24? Seriously? My first child is older than you.

You're looking at it all wrong. Look forward to growth, not aging. Wrinkles are like scars. They're badges to be worn with pride that tell the world you're no longer a fledgling. You've lived, survived and continue to grow and learn about the world around you.

Personally, I've found that each year as my birthday approaches, I contemplate my life and the journey I've taken to that point. Some years are quite good, some not so good. But that's what challenges and allows me the opportunity to work towards enriching my life, hopefully utilizing the wisdom I've attained thus far.

Bottom line? Keep growing, keep learning.

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TigerBlood

My primary fear of growing old is not being able to take care of myself. I had a grandfather in a nursing home in Texas when I was little. He couldn't do the simplest things like give himself a shave, shower, or toilet. He was as helpless as a baby, but still mentally alert. He just didn't have any strength. Lived to 92. I guess I wouldn't be so afraid of it if I hadn't seen it so personally.

citadel

That would be awful, to lose pretty much all control other than the ability to see and understand it. If you feel your body starting to let go, you could take up a high risk activity like BASE jumping.

DRP976

^Thats exactly how I feel however I realize whats the use in worrying about something that is inevitable. Being a CNA I see this all the time, old people unable to care for themselves. Its heartbreaking and worries me cause I see myself like that possibly when I get old ya know. Thanks to the input/insight of others posts, I learned to accept it with open arms. Ill just live everyday to the best of my ability. Exercise, eat right, read, learn, enlighten myself, etc. I now believe we can grow and live on our own independently as long as we nourish our bodies...sure not all of us will but we must fight to remain active. I just wanna roll forever...maybe somewhere there is a friction less environment.

Ourcrazymodern?

Maybe, DRP976, when you find it, you'll let us know. The rock in the stream doesn't notice things flowing over it. Fear is a by-product of having to carry around knowing any such thing. Do you think any of us would rather not? I wouldn't.

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT