You know you're an asshole when you...
 

A friend posted, "You know you're an asshole when you use speaker phone on the subway..."

So when you realize that you're the asshole, what was it that you were doing?

For me:
...cross the street in front of moving cars forcing them to stop and let you pass.

What about you?

I must be broken, because I never catch myself being an asshole. I may act assholish, but if you question me there will always be a reason to justify my behaviour.

Picking up my fluffy friends without their consent. The second the rabbit and hamsters start squirming, I feel horrible.

get in the elevator quickly, pretending you didn't see someone about 50 feet behind you.

Does this thread have anything to do with Cynth's famous signature line?

When you take the elevator to go up one floor, and you're not handicapped. As a third floor office drone, I hate this.

"Its not the clothes that make you look fat..."

I've said this... because I lack the thing in my head to make me stop before I think about it... I choose my words slightly more carefully now...

I can't think of one. In fact, I'm the guy who is most likely to not do something on the off-chance that someone else might find that offensive. So, instead of asshole... wimp?

...think that snow is a valid excuse for leaving dog shit on the small patch of grass in front of your apartment building. Double points for thinking that it somehow disappears along with the snow when it melts.

There are also other kinds of wimps-assholes, who get away with things, when they are too cowardly to stand behind their words and actions. They manipulate others, but don't come forward, because they are too high and mighty, and would get offended themselves, if confronted.

Not saying that you are. :P Just what comes to my mind about wimps...

I do not like to do this, but when I am really rushed I have.

Driving in the middle lane, when the right lane is backedup up for an exit, and cut in right at the exit at the last second. I hate people who do this, I do not allow anyone to do this, I have made people drive past the exit by not allowing them in as they fought to inch over. So when I have I feel really assholish.

Ah, similar to what my hubby told me he did one morning. He always drives to work at the same time like some other "regulars". He was so angry at one driver, who often used to cut in front off him and then slow down to get off at the next exit, which also slowed down hubby's speed, so when the driver was passing him again next time, he forced him to drive by his side so long, he missed the exit.

He felt no remorse afterwards.

Make something that has both nuts and chocolate and bring it to work, and know the very very annoying person who has food allergies to both of those ingredients won't be able to eat it, but will have to listen to everyone else rave about how good it is.

that's the point. I had justification to cross in front of the cars. I was in a hurry I needed to be there now! not a moment from now, but now!

so what are you doing that may be assholish?

I could just let it go and pick it up and easily put it in the trash.... but catching the guy down the street letting his dog crap on my lawn and other neighbours for months now was too much. Waiting until midnight and taking said dog crap and wiping it up under the door handles of his car, his front door knob, the key holes....

I could just let it go but if felt good for 10 minutes I got my revenge then I felt guilty. I am an asshole.

To my family I'm an asshole, who neglects them and spends too much time in the net. There's no justification to that.

I decide to ignore some people, because I don't want to deal with them. With some people there just comes a point, when I can't stand them, but I don't necessarily let them know what's wrong, so they don't even get a chance to discuss or tell their "excuses". For starters I'm open to people and quite lenient, but if someone constantly and knowingly irks me, lies, or abuses the relationship thinking I approve something they do or say, I just may turn the switch off, when I decide they weren't really listening to who and what I am.

I'm an asshole in a sense that sometimes I poke people myself or expect them to understand my humor. But I never do pretend to be a person with a big forgiving heart either.

...your name is Buddha.

http://i919.photobucket.com/albums/a...haRecycle1.jpg

Cheating on someone over the Internet makes you an asshole. I mean, just suck the guy's dick. I can handle that.

http://i919.photobucket.com/albums/a...t_Love_You.jpg

Telling the truth makes you an asshole. Ignoring the truth makes you an asshole, too.

http://i919.photobucket.com/albums/a...3317061114.gif

An angry uterus makes you an asshole. Letting birth control turn you into a screaming bitch? Asshole'd!

http://i919.photobucket.com/albums/a...ngryUterus.jpg

That guitar shop in Wayne's World was pretty bad, too.

http://i919.photobucket.com/albums/a...tairwayku0.jpg

Finally, being a troll makes you an asshole. A delightful, cuddly please-don't-stop asshole... but still an asshole.

http://i919.photobucket.com/albums/a...tEagleTalk.jpg

when you break-wind in an crowded elevator

I love Plan9

When I bone my friend's ex one week after they broke up. Go me. :no:

I work in a law office. People will call me and ask for phone numbers for other attorney offices, clerks offices, probation & parole numbers, the list is endless..... Even though I could easily look up the number and give it to them, I don't....I tell them to call information or look it up in the phone book.....Does that make me an asshole? Yes.... But dammit I am not a human phone book.....wait a minute, I think they are the assholes for thinking I am........hmmm

Consider the goodwill and professionalism that may be earned through the 5 minutes it takes to look up a phone number. No harm in saying, "Well, I'm a little busy right now, can you look it up in a phonebook?" but, "go find it yourself" (as my law supervisor frequently told me--worst professor I've ever had) does not a friend make.

this friend of mine really fucked me over once with a project for school and i got a zero on it so i took a needle and poked 1 hole in each of his condoms. i felt like an asshole afterwards. his gf never got preggo but even then i think i over reacted.

[QUOTE=KirStang;2878838]Consider the goodwill and professionalism that may be earned through the 5 minutes it takes to look up a phone number. No harm in saying, "Well, I'm a little busy right now, can you look it up in a phonebook?" but, "go find it yourself" (as my law supervisor frequently told me--worst professor I've ever had) does not a friend make.[/QUOTE


Back in the early days I was more accomodating, now not so much, like I said I know that makes me an asshole and I'm good with that.....

The thing that actually infuriates it me is fucking wankers who stand on the wrong side of the escalator. It is thoughtless, rude, inconsiderate, and in the understanding of any sane court of law justifiable cause for kicking a son of a bitch straight in the nuts with a two step run up.

EVERYONE knows that you stand on the right side if you want to stand still, and the left hand side is for people who want to run or walk to go faster.

When I see some prick or selfish bitch standing side by side and blocking the way it just makes my blood boil. This genuinely should be a criminal offense and 6 weeks of hard labour would make these people think twice about their selfish, pig ignorant, arrogant, contemptable attitudes.

I genuinely am feeling angry typing this and I need to go outside and go for a walk now. Im not joking.

Hey! You have your old avatar, again. Nifty.
Enjoy your stroll.

Strange, I feel almost the same way when I'm waiting behind one of those people. Minus the wanting them to go to jail part, that's a bit much.
But seriously, I consider metro hallways/moving walkways and escalators the same as highways. You should keep right if you're walking slowly or standing still, and leave the left side open for passing. I get infuriated every day at people making my hour and a half commute longer by just standing there stupidly, or taking up two "lanes."

Why should we pay to jail folks that don't understand escalators? They should just be thrown down them. Or put some where they can learn. Well, learn again. Maybe it should be in a rural or undeveloped area for maximum impact. Sort of a camp. A "re-education camp", such as it is.

How do I know I'm an asshole? I log on to TFP. [applause]

Seriously, I'm the kind of driver, that if I see you run up past a line of cars waiting to turn/exit/merge/move won't let you merge into line unless you've got your emergency lights on, in which case I'm going to assume that you're not a bigger asshole than me. I will also do whatever I can to get onboard a plane before you.

Funny, StrangeF. I'm quite similar. Especially when hiking. You think ~12 seconds waiting on an escalator is bad? Try hiking for 30 minutes behind people who won't move out of the way (edit and its not just two people but a huge family of 8). Try getting past their fat asses without hurting something.

Now when they do this though I just run/charge. So far they've always moved.

When I say, "Sucks to be you!" at Martian in chat when he says he made a typo somewhere in his 1100 line config file and doesn't know where.


Bwahahaha

I take the last piece of whatever (pizza, cake, fruit, cookies) every single time without remorse.

If I need to speak to someone else because the person who has taken my call has an impossible accent. I always make the mistake of asking them to speak up or speak more slowly first, which invariably gets me more upset at the fact that I can't make out a word they're trying to say.