If you decide to have kids with someone, don't let the kids rule your life. Always make sure to make time for yourselves. This can be as simple as going to a movie without the kids or as involved as going on a trip without them. You will be spending a lot of time with your kids, making time for yourselves is not something about which you should have guilt.

The harder you work, the harder you work.

If you're going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you're going to be locked up. -Hunter S. Thompson

For some reason, I like that.

'Never turn your back on a friend, thats the best target.'

people who are what they seem to be
generally don't seek psychotherapy...

never flirt at a nudist beach...

Woah there uncle phil some of us browse the general discussion areas in public.

If you ever get the sudden urge to run around naked, you should sniff some Windex first.

It'll keep you from streaking...

Hmmm...

If its the zombie apocalypse be quiet. Guns attract more zombies. Use blades and blunt objects, bows and crossbows, if you must use a gun then use one with a suppressor. Always sleep somewhere safe. Always have an escape route planned.

For the love of god be sensible, but if you can't be sensible...don't get caught.

it's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame...

Life goes on. Whenever everything you've worked for falls apart, and you find yourself alone with absolutely nothing, remember this: Life goes on. Pick up the pieces, learn from your mistakes, and know that this is not the end.

Life doesn't go on. Not on the same path, anyway. You get -one- shot. And if you miss it, you don't get to take it back. Plan accordingly.

When you become a manager, don't forget your experience as an underling. If you respect your workers, they will be more motivated to respect you when it counts. This is doubly true for personal assistants and executive assistants.

That terrible whine means you probably need a new belt. Take care of it sooner than later.

When asked "What is best in life?" you must immediately reply with:

"To crush your enemies, to see them driven before and to hear the lamentations of their women!"

when asked what you like most in a woman, realize that the question is talking about intangible things

Yep. Exactly. You miss that shot, it's not the end of the world. There's plan B, and maybe plan C and if not, then maybe you ought to evaluate your options and see what you can do. Unless that shot was meant to stop someone from ending your life, at which point, my advice is useless anyway.

You're missing my point. My point is that every year there are critical life path decisions that we all make. Jobs, education, hobbies, partners, etc. I'm not talking about things other people do or acts of Allah, I'm talking about you taking responsibility for yourself. You're a fool if you think you can just pick things up whenever you want. Everything is finite. Time gets everybody. That's why procrastination is really bad, New Year's resolutions are cliche and romance novels sell so well. As I approach my next decade of life I've had to make big decisions on where I want to go with it. Do I choose mediocre pay for one-of-a-kind adventure and testosterone merit badges or do I choose a cushy, free time w/ hobbies life that will take care of me when I'm older?

I only get to pick one.

...

Also:

Thanks. I have use for this. :thumbsup:

You don't always get to pick at all.

you are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on...

Meh, you missed the point of my original post. :rolleyes: I'm sure life has not gone the way you wanted it. But you're still here, aren't you? I never said anything about "picking things up whenever you want" or having infinite time to do everything, which, for some odd reason is how you've interpreted it.

You talkin' 'bout hoes? Everybody knows: Bros before hoes.

I'm just basically saying, "Fuck it, Drive On."

Well, don't get all zen on me, man. You know how dumb I am.

"It is what it is." "Fuck it, drive on." "Get some, go again."

Bumper stickers to live your live by if you're a young male.

a fool and his money can throw one hell of a party...

Find something to do with your life that you enjoy no matter how far out it is. Money is no object until you run out. Whether it be a forest ranger, a writer, or a ballet dancer. You must keep working on it. Then when the money does run out, you'll have a good idea of where your at and what you want to do. Then go make boring money, and then get back to it. By then hopefully you should be making enough money on your chosen profession.

I watched a certain win in a court case where I was right go away when the eye witness said," I don't remember". Those three words cost me thousands upon thousands of dollars.
Avoid civil court like the plague. But if you end up in there learn everything you can because you are paying a lot for it.
Even if you are right you can lose.
Sometimes it is better to lose than to win when you see what happens as time goes by. Sometimes having your ass kicked is a winning experience but mostly not.
Avoid traps and being a sucker.
Kegel a lot whether you are a man or a woman.
Before sin comes temptation.
I don't remember.

It's better to regret something you did than something you didn't do.

don't drink and drive; you might hit a bump and spill something...

You can't clog a portable toilet.

Eagles may soar....but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity...

This is gross, but I've done exactly that. I'm going to have to work on finding proof, but ...

Alright, alright. Let me rephrase, Captain Shittiton:

You can't clog a portable toilet that has no flushing mechanism and consists of a giant 55 gallon drum full of blue fluid.

No but with enough taco bell you can still ensure that nobody is going to be using it.

Don't be afraid to suck at first when you try something new. Not everyone is naturally good at everything. Most genius is not from raw natural talent, but a combination of raw natural talent with many years of hard work/practice. Hard work/practice almost always beats natural talent alone. :)

The funnel under the seat is only so big. They do have the funnel and not just a big looming cesspool under yours, don't they
'

Pfft. Looming cesspool. I work for the government, remember?

...

For the thread:

Buy two cheap sunglasses in a hard case instead of one expensive sunglasses.

You'll break 'em anyway and need an instant backup. The hard case is crucial.

Have a plan to kill everyone you know.

Tone that rhetoric down. This is an open forum and this type of talk, can and will be used against you if you ever do something that results in adverse scrutiny.