genuinegirly

It's prom season - and you know what that means: pretty dresses in all the stores, and heartbroken teenagers everywhere attempting to snatch a date. But to have the additional stress of knowing that you cannot bring your partner to that big dance - that's something I hadn't really considered. It's a very real issue for one lesbian couple in Mississippi (story in quotes below), and probably elsewhere across the nation and around the world.

- How do you respond to anti-gay sentiment in your community?
- Do you take an active stand alongside GLBTQ friends?
- What prevents you from doing so?
- Share any examples from the news or personal experiences you have encountered with anti-gay policies.

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When I was in high school, there wasn't any issue over same-sex couples and prom. Friends would go as "dates" because tickets were cheaper to purchase as a couple. Women wore some classy, fun tuxedos without issue. I don't recall any men who wanted to cross-dress to the event, but I'm hopeful it would have been equally accepted. I took California's liberal spin for granted, and I figured the rest of the country would be as welcoming of these trends. But now that I'm living in the midwest, I'm starting to see more anti-gay sentiment creep up far more often. Perhaps it's because I have a Lesbian office-mate who mentions these things, but I think it might have more to do with the conservative nature of our institution and the students it attracts.

I respond to anti-gay sentiment by discouraging it. I am not outspoken about the matter, I do not write letters or take a stand. I do offer emtional support and encouragement to GLBTQ friends, and while I haven't participated in a pride parade, I'd like to.

I'm just glad I didn't attend this high school in Misssissippi I'm not sure I could respond to the announcement politely.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Baraka_Guru

My god, this is worse than I thought. I've heard of people being kicked out or barred from proms because of same-sex dates. (Sad, but this isn't new.)

But this? This is ridiculous. I like the message it sends to kids: "Our year was ruined by the dykes who just couldn't stay out of our prom."

I know a lot of them won't think that, but that's not a stretch. And it kinda pisses me off that didn't just cancel the event because they decided to discriminate against a same-sex couple. They actually cited "distractions from the educational process."

What. the. fuck. What the hell does that even mean? Homosexuality amongst students (or should I say the misguided youths?) is confusing the kids?

I guess to me this is incredible because I live and work in Toronto, and I know several vocal people in the LGBT community, and a few who publish works quite in tune with the issues.

How do I handle anti-gay sentiments? I don't usually have to. They don't tend to come up here, because there is a strong gay community here and gay culture is more accepted here generally speaking. I'm not saying it doesn't exist; it just doesn't happen in the circles I frequent.

I occasionally get it when I go back home to the smaller town I grew up in, but, even then, it's just a bunch of moronic humour and assumptions, and in the worst-case scenario homophobic defensiveness. In these cases, I normally respond matter-of-factly. Sometimes I've gone as far as stating things like, hey, you can't catch gay.

Seriously.

I don't know how I could ever live in certain parts of the U.S. and around the world.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Shadowex3

And in mississipi? Those girls need to be in protective custody right now, even if half the student body sides with them against the school there's still going to be a large enough contingent that wants them dead for it to be a problem.

I'm going to be really suprised if this ends cleanly, even here in central Florida where I don't get suprised by furries, drag, or assless pants anymore I'd still expect violence. Let alone someone like Miss.

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Poppinjay

Wonder if the DJ will play Adam Lambert?


I'm kind of on the fence on this. I really think public schools have no business hosting proms, mostly due to the spectacle they have become. Even back in the stone age when I was at a tiny rural southern school, one couple showed up in a helicopter.

Especially in southern states, where there tends to be a lack of parity in incomes, the prom is something for the "haves" to get together and listen to a bunch of goddamn nickleback.

But obviously, if the school is holding an event, and the prom is the pinnacle of many small town southerners' lives, it should be open to all. Really, it was just a few years ago that one school wrestled with combining their black and white student proms.

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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

Baraka_Guru

The DJ should definitely spin some version of "True Colors."

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

MSD

What a shock that this happened in a state so progressive that they didn't ratify the Constitution's 13th Amendment until 1995.
Usually with obnoxious comments like "Yeah, this is ridiculous. If they hadn't given in to those uppity activists and let coloreds marry whites back in the '60s, we wouldn't have to hear about this equality for gays stuff now."
I take a stand with any persecuted group. Change will happen when enough people stand shoulder-to-shoulder and tell the world with one, united voice that intolerance is unacceptable in any form.

Baraka_Guru

The gay anti-gay legislator - Los Angeles Times

I really don't know what to say at this point.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

genuinegirly

Yeah, leave it to Bakersfield to produce a gay anti-gay legislator.

At least Minnesota's schools have done away with discriminitory policies:
State’s largest school district ends anti-gay policy Minnesota Independent: News. Politics. Media.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

clavus

Well, I do a podcast, a blog and some cartoons where I'm pretty up front about how I feel. Me and MC Frontalot see eye to eye.

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Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

Grasshopper Green

In my personal life, I try not to associate with bigoted people in general as I get enough of that at work and in the local community and political arena. At work, I hear lovely snippets like, "We may have a drug problem in our family but at least we don't have any HOMOSEXUALS!" I used to debate openly with anti-gay coworkers, but it really got me nowhere so I quit. Instead I make up for it with my vote. I haven't attended a parade or similar activity, but perhaps I will this summer. Last summer there was a "kiss-in" held downtown after a gay couple kissed and then were kicked off of a sidewalk owned by the LDS church. I think it's important my son start learning about these types of things - my mother grew up in the south and was repulsed by the bigotry and racism and taught us from an early age that it's wrong.

In high school I dated a gay boy and we went to prom together. I didn't know he was gay at the time, but I suspected. Living in a very conservative area, kids didn't hold hands or kiss in the hall so his lack of affectionate gestures wasn't a giveaway at first. He was a year younger than me so we went our separate ways when I graduated. He came out of the closet shortly after and I'm sure he endured hell at school. Thank god I don't live there anymore. Awhile later I was discussing this with a friend and a local overheard and said something along the lines of me "turning him gay"

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"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king"

Formerly Medusa

Baraka_Guru

Damn....

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Bill O'Rights

Do you think for one minute that that was not by design? Hell hath no fury like a teenaged girl whose prom was just cancelled. The peer pressure and subsequent harassment will, I think, “take care of” what the school board legally cannot.

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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

Shadowex3

I don't think that even needs to be said at this point, finding ways of convincing everyone else to kick the shit out of someone the school doesn't like is pretty much their oldest and most common trick. Hell even here in CFL where half our teachers out-flame Richard Simmons it was pretty much a daily occurence to see a teacher or administrator just randomly punish a third party to spite someone.

That's why I said these girls need a bodyguard right now, I'm not exaggerating when I say I think there is a genuine threat to their lives here.

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Ourcrazymodern?

I've been under the impression that the younger generation is becoming more & more accepting of all sorts of things, but maybe that's wishful thinking, or living in Minnesota.
...probably the former...
On a more personal level, I wonder why gays & straights seem to agree that bisexuality is either wrong or a myth.

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Hektore

I went to a pretty small school. My graduating class was just under 70 students and there were less than 1500 students in the entire district (grades k-12). The school was located in the heart of Pennsyltuckey (for those unfamiliar with Pennsylvania: it is roughly divided into 3 areas geographically; Philly, Pittsburgh, and Pennsyltucky - so named because it has the same political and social leanings as the most backward ass rural Kentucky town you can imagine). Same sex couples were not allowed to purchase prom tickets as a 'couple' for any reason (friends, whatever). The only time I am aware of anyone attempting to be openly gay was a girl who moved to the district my senior year. She was beaten up by two guys and did not return. She attended for less than two weeks. No charges were filed, no suspensions for the two guys who did it, she just wasn't there anymore.

Homosexuals are not welcome here in PaKy, though I don't feel that way. It makes me pretty irate when I hear people insulting someone because of their sexual orientation. I usually excuse myself before I lose my temper, as I know I'm the only one in the room who thinks the speaker is just an asshole. Last time it came up was at a certain college during orientation where they divided us into discussion groups to discuss diversity - but really was more of a 'you can be as bigoted as you want, you just can't say it out loud' speech. The conversation ended with me calling our 'discussion leader' a homophobe, him saying 'well I'm catholic what do you expect' and me calling that a 'bullshit, lame ass cop-out'. Damn it, now I'm pissed off again.

This shit drives me crazy - people are people, let them love who they want to love and mind your own damn business.

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The advantage law is the best law in rugby, because it lets you ignore all the others for the good of the game.

Shadowex3

Eh, the problem is that while the larger majority is sliding towards being less prejudicial those that ARE bigots are sliding towards being more and more extreme by default.

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SaltPork

Leaving aside the fact taht this happened in a highly charged religious atmosphere, i think there needs to be some sort of objective reasoning for that kind of decisoin. Let people be people and let it go. They aren't a danger to anyone so what's the harm?

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It was like that when I got here....I swear.

SecretMethod70

Agreed.Also agreed.

Overall, the younger generations are definitely more tolerant. A few years ago, my old high school voted a gay guy as homecoming king and a lesbian as homecoming queen. It was very obviously intentional, and it attracted a lot of positive and negative attention. More and more young people are making it known that they will not tolerate prejudice based on sexual orientation.

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

Shadowex3

my school was similar. On the one hand my life was very definitely in danger by people who had a problem with "murdering jews" and on the other hand the counter-march to the nazi recruitment march outnumbered them at least 10:1.

It's an extremification of behavior, I think issues like this are actually a symptom of other issues.

[edit]

And it would appear that Georgia felt left out:

Interestingly enough this time it's the school that acted (in self preservation) in his favor and his classmates ruining their own prom.

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SecretMethod70

What the fucking hell? I... really... have no words...

The MEANEST TOWN IN AMERICA: Fake Prom for Lesbian Student? | La Figa

And to those people who dismiss the idea of making parallels between gay rights and the civil rights battles of the 1960s, the following comment from the blog above provides some excellent context...

Some idiot student from the school tried to defend this bullshit in a later comment...

There is also another post with updated info about the homophobes-only prom here: Where’s Constance? Photos from a Private Prom | La Figa

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

---------- Post added at 07:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:45 PM ----------

And here's another fucktard homophobic student, spewing fecal matter onto the internet...

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

Baraka_Guru

QFMFT!

For fuck's sake: they have as much right to have a party "for themselves." You know, the straight kids. The "normal" and "healthy" kids. They wanted to celebrate their school days and they didn't want the dyke to mess it up.

At least he was honest in mentioning that they hate gays.

If anything, maybe it will give Constance (meaningful name, btw) enough reason to move the fuck out of that backwater.

More:
Constance quit yer cryin | Facebook

Pam Spaulding reports that

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

SecretMethod70

I keep wanting to say more, but I really have nothing substantial to say... this story just infuriates me. It's one thing to be bigoted... that's upsetting enough... but not all bigots are cruel human beings... yet apparently many of the ones who are are concentrated in this hellhole of a town.

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

Baraka_Guru

Ellen did a great interview with Constance a couple of weeks ago:

I can't believe they pulled this prank even after that kind of attention.

At least the interview had a happy ending.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

SecretMethod70

If you read the things the other students are saying, the blame her for all the attention in the first place. With that kind of logic, it's pretty easy to do something like this even when you know the entire country is watching. It's even easier when you think the rest of the country is what's made up of backwards ignorami.

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

Baraka_Guru

Likewise.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Shadowex3

It's classic hate-logic. "Them damn <insert>... they just don't know their place. They bring <insert> on themselves by getting uppity and bringing attention..."

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Shadowex3

Apologies for the double-post but this seemed the most proper place for this:


While I'm obviously an enormous fan of this move... I'm still disgusted that it NEEDED to be done to begin with, and I'm appalled at the number of people (teabaggers mostly so far) who have a problem with this.

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Baraka_Guru

Oh, hey, this is good news. I couldn't imagine how much that would suck if you couldn't visit your partner in the damn hospital.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Redlemon

Do you remember Gilda's story about this? She was unconscious in the hospital, and they wouldn't allow her wife (who was a doctor) AND had signed power to make decisions on her behalf to make any decisions on her behalf.

About time, indeed.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Baraka_Guru

Wow, even with a signed power? This is exactly why Obama's move was necessary. It removes the ambiguity.

If anything, it says "gays have families too"—even though they aren't allowed to marry.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Redlemon

Yeah. I tried to find it, but I think it was in her Journal, so that's lost to history. Fortunately, her sister was also there, so her sister could just say "What she said".

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

The_Jazz

I was trying to remember this morning who had that story. I was talking about it with a coworker and couldn't remember ANY detail beyond someone got sick and the partner couldn't do anything. Thanks, Redlemon!

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

blahblah454

It truly boggles my mind why anyone even cares what anyone elses sexual preference is. Seriously! Are people who are attracted to the same sex ruining the planet or something? Are they off stealing babies and eating them around bonfires? I really don't get it, and it makes me so mad.

Hektore

For a lot of people in the US, answers to those questions are yes and yes. I've had people in my home town tell me that homosexuality is every bit of the abomination that paedophilia is. Preachers thunder from the altar weekly about how homosexuality is ruining America and all the bad things that happen in the world are the direct result of complacency with homosexuals.

Morons, the whole lot of them.

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The advantage law is the best law in rugby, because it lets you ignore all the others for the good of the game.

LordEden

I hear this everyday. "Homosexuals are ruining America. Homosexuals are in the schools, better take your kids out of school. Homosexuals are the source of [problem] and we as [racists/bigots] would be living in a [uplifting word] America if not for them."

I heard the bosslady at my old job say, "If any more of those fags turn up in [the local high school], I'll have to take [her son] out of school permanently." Which the response from the president of a packaging company here replied, "Don't worry, God will do his work and kill all those homos for us."

I keep telling my friend David that he is ruining America with his love of the brown eye. He just laughs and brings me another beer.

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Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich

Hektore

It's fun to joke about...until you realize those people are deathly serious.

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The advantage law is the best law in rugby, because it lets you ignore all the others for the good of the game.

Baraka_Guru

Oh, when will they realize that they are the problem?

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

LordEden

I joke because that's the only thing I can do. This isn't just co-workers and people I know; my family believes all of this. This is why I'm moving 4 hours away from them. I once had a gay roommate and my own mother told my entire family I turned gay cause, "That's the only reason he would live in the same house as a gay man."

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Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich

Baraka_Guru

Well, you know, you can also catch gay if you get too close....

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

blahblah454

I knew it Baraka! I knew there was a reason they had to sit on the back of the bus.