DaniGirl

Recently my family is having issues with money. I think it is ridiculous to borrow money from family. My sisters have been in a fight over money. My youngest sister works at a movie theater and right now they have been giving her little to no hours. My other sister has the phone bill and car insurance in her name. Since my younger sister is not working, my other sister is paying the bills and getting angry with our younger sister. I told her that she needs to get her own phone and car insurance so that she no longer is adding to my other sisters bill. But no one seems to want to take my advise. My parents are getting mad at me for suggesting that she takes herself off my sisters bills, they say as soon as she gets her own bills she will stop paying my other sister what she owes her. I am just feed up with the whole ordeal. Money is a destructive force that breaks up families. I'm afraid that my family will get split up over money.

So borrowing money from family, good idea or bad?

thespian86

My parents are rich. Like, very rich.

I grew up hating everything about my house. My cars, my bed, my cats, etc; you get the point. My step father, aka Hobie/Hoben/Hobes etc, owns a seemingly small residential and commercial contracting firm but makes a shit load of money. We live well below our means but own several fancy things that the general public normally doesn't see; except for our wonderful home (riverfront, brilliantly landscaped by my unemployed mother, a couple thousand cars etc).

Everything in my life has been about money. Or, rather, approached as if it were a business deal. My birthdays have been marked with extreme guilt and waffling over money. My life has been restricted by this rhetoric. My parents have paid little to no attention to my life pre-19 and self suffcient. In fact, my 19th birthday was a case of beer on my kitchen table with a note that said "Now I can treat you like a person - Hobie". It's wonderful.

So I never borrow money from my parents. Ever. If they give it to me I pay it back. I have money my grandfather left me when he died that I go to school/live off of aside from work. It's more of an insurance account.

I wish I could actually explain my childhood to you and this forum. It was what it was, and such is life. But to get it across would be nice.

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EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

Cynthetiq

I don't borrow money and I don't loan out money. I give out money that I don't expect to get back. That's how it works for me.

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Xerxys

Much like thespian86 here. My parents are NOW rich!! Those fuckers waited for us to get out of the house THEN establish their damn selves!! I'm really rather pissed because they made every effort to be normal and have the bare necessities during me and my sisters childhoods. They didn't help with a lot of shit except their obligations i.e. feed, clothe and shelter. They did that. The damn law ensured I attended some sort of establishement for the main intention of education purposes.

For so long I have been in heavy disagreement with this thread but I have never voiced why and I don't think I will but ... to be honest my point is they have to be self sufficient.

It is my opinion that your younger sister is not being responsible for herself if she owes and doesnt pay back money. Money is important and is NOT the root of all evil. Teach a man to fish philosophy falls here. She needs to pay back whatever she owes and get her stuff in her name.

thespian86

Here is one:

On my 13th birthday my parents got me a therapist so "I'd have someone to talk to about me".

__________________
EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

Punk.of.Ages

This. Especially when it comes to family.

My basic philosophy is, if I can't afford to lose it, I can't afford to loan it out.

I've loaned my family money many times, mainly to my sister, and I have rarely received any payback. I've also borrowed money from my family many times, and let's just say I owe some people some money...

I guess it kind of evens out, though. Instead of expecting full pay back, I know anybody in my family will help me if they can, and they all know I'll do the same.

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"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

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Xerxys

You know that reminds me of how fucked up people can actually be. If your gonna do something nice for someone please don't poison it with "I'm doing both of us a favor, stop feeling special" attitude. Really messed up sometimes and people just have no idea what they're doing.

I know now why I hate people.

Martian

This is at once tragic and hilarious.

Probably less so when it's your childhood.

Regarding the subject at hand, I subscribe to a model similar to Cynthetiq's; I consider a person's actions as a borrower to be a great way of determining character. If I lend someone money, I consider that money to be gone and don't count on getting it back. That way I don't have to worry about being disappointed, and can only be pleasantly surprised.

It took me a long time to figure out that my view of money as simply a means to an end is out of the ordinary. I have no desire to amass money for it's own sake. It's only as good as what it gets me. Sometimes what it gets me is simple gratitude and/or goodwill.

I can't say I've never borrowed money, but I avoid it unless or until I have no other alternatives and I pay it back in the fastest way feasible.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

DaniGirl

That is the way I feel too. I don't give out enough money that I couldn't do without.

Willravel

I borrowed money once and it ended up being a disaster. I don't do it anymore. As for lending? I always consider it a gift. If I'm paid back, great, if not, that's okay too. People tell me I should open a bank.

jewels

Maybe near the corner of Eleventh and First?

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
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thespian86

Yes to the first, no to the latter. I find it funny now but I know it was a series of moments like the example I gave that made me the man I am. That makes me sad sometimes. Such is life. I have better ones then that though haha.

__________________
EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

Reese

I don't loan family or friends money. If I have it, I'll give you money.

My Grandpa always told me, if you're tired of someone hanging around, loan them some money.

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“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry