SaltPork

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Bill 97 2003
An Act to ban
dwarf tossing

Her Majesty, by and with the advice and consent of the Legislative Assembly of the Province of Ontario, enacts as follows:

Dwarf tossing banned

1. (1) No person shall organize a dwarf tossing event or engage in dwarf tossing.

Offence

(2) A person who contravenes subsection (1) is guilty of an offence and on conviction is liable to a fine of not more than $5,000 or to imprisonment for a term of not more than six months, or to both.

Commencement

2. This Act comes into force on the day it receives Royal Assent.

Short title

3. The short title of this Act is the Dwarf Tossing Ban Act, 2003.

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EXPLANATORY NOTE

The Bill bans dwarf tossing in Ontario and makes it an offence to engage in dwarf tossing.

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Who is this "Her Majesty"? And what's with this "Royal Assent"? I thought Canada was an autonomous country. Did England take it back? Or am I missing something?

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It was like that when I got here....I swear.

Cynthetiq

just like if someone wanted their salad tossed.... hey if the dwarf wants to be tossed.....

i thought that they had some ties to the queen since most of their military ships have HMS on them.

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

MSD

Good thing it's not a law here. They're not technically dwarves, but some short friends of mine have no objection to being tossed.

phredgreen

face it... you're still a colony. you need a good old declaration of independence and maybe a bloody war to really break your ties.

as to the dwarves, i say let them do anything they want with the hand that's been dealt with them. there are only so many ewok and lollypop guild parts going around, the others need some way to pay the bills.

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My country is the world, and my religion is to do good.
- Thomas Paine

dimbulb

The Queen (Queen Elizabeth II) is technically Canada's Head of State. Her representative is the Governor-General federally, and the Lieutenant-Generals provincially.

Its a relic from Canada's history. I really do hope the previous two posters were not American. If so, shame on you. (No, I'm not canadian. not even remotely so). As a foreign student in America, I'm rather surprised at how little some americans know about the rest of the world.

Anyhow, here's some information about how canadian government works.


http://www.parl.gc.ca/information/li...ves-5th_Ed.pdf

YourNeverThere

does that mean that when making this law at some point the government hade define what excatly defines a dwarf as opposed to merly a short person? becuase that would have been a great debate to hear in the house of commons

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The Above post is a direct quote from Shakespeare

rockzilla

The whole having a Queen business is just a formality. She has about as much say in the running of the country as I do. There are few questions I have about this law though :

- How short do you have to be to qualify as a dwarf?
- What if a bouncer had to throw an unruly dwarf out of his bar?
- Does this include dwarf tossing variations like dwarf bowling?
- Why the hell does the gorernment need to legislate dwarf tossing? was it that bad a problem?

Phaenx

Come on down to the United States, in the home of the free, the dwarves flow like wine, and you can throw as many as you want.

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"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy

asaris

Actually, if Australia is any example, the queen does in fact have some control over the governance of her former colonies. In the 70s, the queen deposed a governor general in Australia.

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"Die Deutschen meinen, daß die Kraft sich in Härte und Grausamkeit offenbaren müsse, sie unterwerfen sich dann gerne und mit Bewunderung:[...]. Daß es Kraft giebt in der Milde und Stille, das glauben sie nicht leicht."

"The Germans believe that power must reveal itself in hardness and cruelty and then submit themselves gladly and with admiration[...]. They do not believe readily that there is power in meekness and calm."

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

rockzilla

Yeah but the governor general is a completely useless position. The GG is simply the queen's representative who's job it is to show up at public events and have lunch with the Prime Minister once a week. There's no decision making or thinking invloved in the job at all, just like being Queen.

Double D

As much as I love the States, they do not give a care about any country's government, often not even their own. And yeah, it is a shame.

Leviathan[NCV]

Actually Double D, the US has decided to be the world's police, getting into foreign issue's we have no place in being. But that is another thread entirely...

Kaos

lol, this legislature all began from a bar in my town advertising the midget toss. I would have gone, but found out too late at night

bundy

Canadian Queen...
<p><img src="http://i.timeinc.net/people/images/profiles/c/cdion/156cdionmain.jpg" /></p>

just kidding...

asaris - exactly who did the Queen depose in the seventies?
i know that Whitlam was sacked by the GG in 1975, but i´ve never heard of the Queen actually intervening and deposing any GG.

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Ohayo!!!

cheerios

Kaos: I wanna hear that story...

how many dwarf tosses have htey had, and what happened to make it illegal? this seems like a totally rediculous piece of law!?! I'm glad I dont' live in Ontario, or i'd be pissed my taxes were going to fund the salaries of the people who waste their time like that!

rockzilla

You should see how else they waste our money. There have been more than a few stories recently about all kinds of people with varying degrees of power, from city officals to high-ranking members of parliament using taxpayer $$$ to renovate houses, buy $300 bottles of wine, all kinds of garbage. Makes me wonder why I bother paying my taxes at all.

lafemmefatale

the queen actually doesn't see a cent of canadian taxes...except when she visits...but she rarely visits...

the argument of the queen as head of state is a lot more complex than what meets the eye...some arguments for are...

- canada can keep ties with europe by the queen...sort of a international relations/economics goodie
- keeps people thinking canada's america jr.
- preventatitve measure against corruption [since she's technically got more power than the prime minister, if ever the gov. turned into militant tyrants...she can go 'hey! stop it!'...]

btw i'm really indiff but...just for the sake of awareness.

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-poor is the man whose pleasure depends on the permission of another-

Overlord

The Queen is merely a figurehead of all Britain and colonies. Funny someone would mention that Canada needs a declaration of independence because July 1 is the day that The British North Amercia Act was signed, unfiying Ontario, Quebec, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia together as one nation.

Canada is a independent and self sufficient nation. And about the bloody War, how does WWI and WWII sound. Canada was an independent nation during that time, and fought in both wars.

Maybe some of you should visit Canada, you'll soon realize that we are very much a democratic society, the Queen no say as to how Canada is run.

Overlord

Here's another couple fact for all of you:

The TV is a Canadian invention. So is the electric streetcar, standard time, telephone, hockey, basketball, wireless radio, ginger ale, five-pin bowling, chocolate bar, synchronized swimming, zipper, Velcro, pacemakers, instant mashed potatoes, IMAX, roller skates, kayak, washing machine, newsprint, kerosene, odometer, green ink, lawn sprinkler and the electric light bulb.

Double D

Dammit, Canada rocks!

asaris

Could be that's what I'm thinking of.

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"Die Deutschen meinen, daß die Kraft sich in Härte und Grausamkeit offenbaren müsse, sie unterwerfen sich dann gerne und mit Bewunderung:[...]. Daß es Kraft giebt in der Milde und Stille, das glauben sie nicht leicht."

"The Germans believe that power must reveal itself in hardness and cruelty and then submit themselves gladly and with admiration[...]. They do not believe readily that there is power in meekness and calm."

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

rockzilla

I love all of those things, except for instant mashed potatoes.

SaltPork

Not bad for a bunch of mulletted, hockey playing, lumberjacks

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It was like that when I got here....I swear.