86 wives: Not a good idea - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

abaya · 08-08-2008, 02:46 PM

I must say that this little story gave me a chuckle while reading the news today. Apparently a man in Nigeria has 86 wives (could he be a Nigerian Spammer?... is that how he feeds them all, including his 170 children?), but doesn't think it's a very good idea:

Quote:

Originally Posted by BBC News

Nigerian advises against 86 wives click to show

BBC NEWS | Africa | Nigerian advises against 86 wives

There were a few choice quotes in there:

Quote:

"A man with 10 wives would collapse and die, but my own power is given by Allah. That is why I have been able to control 86 of them," he told the BBC.

Quote:

"To my understanding the Koran does not place a limit and it is up to what your own power, your own endowment and ability allows," he says.

Quote:

"As soon as I met him the headache was gone," says Sharifat Bello Abubakar, who was 25 at the time and Mr Bello Abubakar 74.

On the other hand, if we're speaking evolutionarily here... 170 offspring is pretty damn successful. And even if he slept with one wife every night (maybe he makes his money off of promoting Viagra?), he wouldn't go through the entire rotation for almost 3 months... that's sure to keep the marital boredom away.

So, what do you say? What is the maximum number of spouses/mistresses that you could tolerate? This man says that the average husband could only deal with 10 wives before collapsing. In Nepal, there is a culture where individual women typically marry a set of brothers, so they are the ones with 3-4 husbands instead of the other way around. Not a bad deal, but the management might drive me batty. I'll stick with one.

Thoughts on this odd situation?

Punk.of.Ages · 08-08-2008, 03:10 PM

How many wives could I handle?

0

At least at this time.

I don't understand women and they don't understand me!

snowy · 08-08-2008, 03:24 PM

I can't even imagine having that many spouses of either gender. Two would probably be okay, but 86 seems like complete overkill, not to mention it's pretty apparent that this man does not have the means to support all of his wives and offspring. To me, having your children and wives beg for you is not support, and eating rice and only rice every day is only sustenance. But I suppose for many of these women they have a better existence than they otherwise might have had by being with Mr. Abubakar.

Ayashe · 08-08-2008, 03:27 PM

All I can think of is that the sex better be darn good because you know it is going to likely take a long time for your turn to come around. Call me selfish.

abaya · 08-08-2008, 03:30 PM

Well, I don't know... with that guy, maybe they're glad that it's only 4 times a year?

biznatch · 08-08-2008, 03:32 PM

Wow. That's a lot of wives. He must have some kind of superpower.

Spartanx9 · 08-08-2008, 03:49 PM

86 wives... O.o

Ayashe · 08-08-2008, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya

Well, I don't know... with that guy, maybe they're glad that it's only 4 times a year?

Hah, I hadn't thought of it that way. True, very true.

ktspktsp · 08-08-2008, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya

Well, I don't know... with that guy, maybe they're glad that it's only 4 times a year?

At age 84? I think he would need a few nights off...

abaya · 08-08-2008, 04:26 PM

Hahaha... well, then again, he's got 170 kids... so he must still be pretty "active."

StanT · 08-08-2008, 04:39 PM

1

Not a chance in hell I want them ganging up on me.

ItWasMe · 08-08-2008, 06:39 PM

I love my husband, but ONE is enough work. Thank you very much.

abaya · 08-09-2008, 03:50 AM

I really think that Viagra should hire this guy as a spokesperson. It would be the perfect ad... can you imagine, this man standing with 86 wives behind him, and his 170 children? The soundbite could be modified to say:

"A man with 10 wives would collapse and die, but my own power is given by VIAGRA. That is why I have been able to control 86 of them,"

ktspktsp · 08-09-2008, 03:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya

"A man with 10 wives would collapse and die, but my own power is given by VIAGRA*. That is why I have been able to control 86 of them"

* Results not guaranteed. If your erection lasts for over 4 hours, go see a doctor. And don't poke him in the eye.

jewels · 08-09-2008, 04:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya

"A man with 10 wives would collapse and die, but my own power is given by VIAGRA. That is why I have been able to control 86 of them,"

I love it!

How about the woman with 86 husbands?

Halx · 08-09-2008, 05:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jewels

I love it!

How about the woman with 86 husbands?

Some motor oil sponsor then.

*ducks and runs away*

mixedmedia · 08-09-2008, 05:46 AM

I dunno, I think I could deal with 86 husbands if I had the means to support them.

There'd probably only be 2 or 3 that I'd have sex with regularly. The rest of 'em could do other important things like changing the oil in my car (

) and pedicuring my toes.

dlish · 08-09-2008, 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mixedmedia

I dunno, I think I could deal with 86 husbands if I had the means to support them.

There'd probably only be 2 or 3 that I'd have sex with regularly. The rest of 'em could do other important things like changing the oil in my car (

) and pedicuring my toes.

i am at your service mixedmedia..wheres the nailpolish?

seriously..are these his wives? or are they merely concubines? you'd be hard pressed to find a shiekh who would be willing to marry this guy to 84 women. its not islamically possible.

ratbastid · 08-09-2008, 08:24 AM

Two is a handful. Worth it, mind you, but a handful.

According to the TV show Big Love, three is unstable--it's always two against one. Four is a better number.

We didn't watch Big Love until just recently. Seemed a little close to home. But we started watching old episodes and fell in love and are now completely caught up and awaiting the next season anxiously.

I'd think after the first ten or twelve, adding another wife wouldn't add significantly to the difficulty of it. Adding them more than one at a time, you'd probably feel it, but going from 13 to 14... You'd hardly notice. I mean, you know, in terms of the work it would take. You'd probably have the whole polygamy thing down to a science by then.

abaya · 08-09-2008, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlish

seriously..are these his wives? or are they merely concubines? you'd be hard pressed to find a shiekh who would be willing to marry this guy to 84 women. its not islamically possible.

Well, the only information we have to go on is at the end of the article...

Quote:

She says that most of the wives see Mr Bello Abubakar as next in line from the Prophet Muhammad.

Indeed, he claims the Prophet Muhammad speaks to him personally and gives detailed descriptions of his experiences.

It is a serious claim for a Muslim to make.

"This is heresy, he is a heretic," says Ustaz Abubakar Siddique, an imam of Abuja's Central Mosque.

As I think I said before... why aren't they protesting this guy's marriage practices worldwide? If you ask me, the Danish cartoonists have nothing on this guy.

telekinetic · 08-09-2008, 11:41 AM

I'm going to have to file this line away for future use, if/when we decide to expand from one wife to two (or four, I agree that 3 is unstable)

Quote:

"I said I couldn't marry an older man, but he said it was directly an order from God," she says.

abaya · 08-09-2008, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlish

seriously..are these his wives? or are they merely concubines? you'd be hard pressed to find a shiekh who would be willing to marry this guy to 84 women. its not islamically possible.

And don't forget, dlish, what he said about his interpretation of the Koran:

Quote:

"To my understanding the Koran does not place a limit and it is up to what your own power, your own endowment and ability allows," he says.

... clearly, God has made him "well-endowed" enough that it's he's simply able to, uh... maintain 86 wives instead of the usual max of 4.

ktspktsp · 08-09-2008, 11:56 AM

Maybe he only sees them in shifts of 4?

blahblah454 · 08-09-2008, 12:33 PM

I almost had 1 and couldn't even handle that. So 86? Not a chance! I have a hard enough time remember the names of the people I do know, unless he just numbers them and writes in on their foreheads.

Lots of kids though, thats absolutely unbelievable. I think having 160 children would be harder than 86 wives.

abaya · 08-09-2008, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blahblah454

Lots of kids though, thats absolutely unbelievable. I think having 160 children would be harder than 86 wives.

Right... but genetically, it's genius. Isn't this what evolution is all about? Lots of successful sperm, tons of surviving offspring... this is supposedly the reason why men are more biologically inclined than women to have multiple mates, right? In order to maximize the distribution of their genes and all that.

But eh, thank god we don't live according to our biology alone. Someone should get him a Costco-sized box of condoms (or birth control).

blahblah454 · 08-09-2008, 12:48 PM

I am pretty sure that after all the sex that man has had with no condoms there would be no way he would ever put one on.

Can a man that old still have children? I don't even know when sperm are no longer effective.

dlish · 08-09-2008, 11:18 PM

welcome back blahblah! hope your back for good?!?!

abaya, actually he's wrong. the quran does put limit on how many you can marry.

i dont remember the verse reference, but it "marry in twos threes and fours, but if you cannot do justice between them marry only one"

then again it all comes down to how you want to interpret things... from that he probably said that there was not explicit limitation and decided that it could go all the way to whatever he desired.

he's nuts either way.

ASU2003 · 08-10-2008, 07:14 PM

If there was a virus that killed off 99% of men in the world, I think it would be interesting having so many wives. It wouldn't be easy though. I'm thinking 100 would be doable if they had low sex drives or got headaches all the time at 9pm at night.

There may be 10-20% of them that want sex each night.

I think I could have sex with 10-15 of them a night and have multiple orgasms. It wouldn't be good sex all the time and the girls would have to help each other to get off often.

Outside of sex is where things get complicated.

Sion · 08-10-2008, 07:50 PM

according to Douglas Adams...the correct number of spouses is 42

ItWasMe · 08-10-2008, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlish

...i dont remember the verse reference, but it "marry in twos threes and fours, but if you cannot do justice between them marry only one"

he's nuts either way.

So if he marries two, three, or four at a time, each time he wants an addition, maybe he is legal? I think he's nuts, too.

CHAPIN · 08-13-2008, 09:56 PM

Before commiting myself to having 86 wives I decided to give marriage a try with a single wife. After 21 years of marriage I can safely say that not having 86 wives was the best decision I ever made in my entire life!

Imagine 86 moths whinning at me every single night about every single thing... I'm so glad I only get to listen to one, gives me more than plenty headaches.

speshul-k · 08-18-2008, 09:42 AM

I've always wanted a harem of my own.

vermin · 08-26-2008, 03:42 AM

Imagine that: 86 voices all nagging you to take out the garbage, let the dog out, change the cat's shitbox, help the kids with their homework, etc. etc. etc.

genuinegirly · 09-01-2008, 04:24 PM

I would think with that many women, if they are industrious and given enough land and natural resources, they would be able to provide enough food to support their families. The number of children is not incredible, considering the number of women involved. That's about 2 kids per woman - completely reasonable. It would be interesting to observe this family and to see how they live.

08-08-2008, 03:10 PM	#2 (permalink)
Punk.of.Ages Forming Location: ....a state of pure inebriation.	How many wives could I handle? 0 At least at this time. I don't understand women and they don't understand me! __________________ "The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager "Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

08-08-2008, 03:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	I can't even imagine having that many spouses of either gender. Two would probably be okay, but 86 seems like complete overkill, not to mention it's pretty apparent that this man does not have the means to support all of his wives and offspring. To me, having your children and wives beg for you is not support, and eating rice and only rice every day is only sustenance. But I suppose for many of these women they have a better existence than they otherwise might have had by being with Mr. Abubakar. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

08-08-2008, 03:30 PM	#5 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	Well, I don't know... with that guy, maybe they're glad that it's only 4 times a year? __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

08-08-2008, 03:32 PM	#6 (permalink)
biznatch Junkie Location: France	Wow. That's a lot of wives. He must have some kind of superpower. __________________ Check it out: The Open Source/Freeware/Gratis Software Thread

08-08-2008, 04:26 PM	#10 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	Hahaha... well, then again, he's got 170 kids... so he must still be pretty "active." __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

08-08-2008, 03:27 PM	#4 (permalink)
Ayashe Psycho	All I can think of is that the sex better be darn good because you know it is going to likely take a long time for your turn to come around. Call me selfish.

08-08-2008, 03:49 PM	#7 (permalink)
Spartanx9 Crazy Location: Tucson	86 wives... O.o

08-08-2008, 04:39 PM	#11 (permalink)
StanT © Location: Colorado	1 Not a chance in hell I want them ganging up on me.

08-08-2008, 06:39 PM	#12 (permalink)
ItWasMe But You'll Never Prove It. Location: under your bed	I love my husband, but ONE is enough work. Thank you very much. __________________ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

08-09-2008, 03:50 AM	#13 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	I really think that Viagra should hire this guy as a spokesperson. It would be the perfect ad... can you imagine, this man standing with 86 wives behind him, and his 170 children? The soundbite could be modified to say: "A man with 10 wives would collapse and die, but my own power is given by VIAGRA. That is why I have been able to control 86 of them," __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

08-09-2008, 05:46 AM	#17 (permalink)
mixedmedia has all her shots. Location: Florida	I dunno, I think I could deal with 86 husbands if I had the means to support them. There'd probably only be 2 or 3 that I'd have sex with regularly. The rest of 'em could do other important things like changing the oil in my car () and pedicuring my toes. __________________ Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

08-09-2008, 08:24 AM	#19 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	Two is a handful. Worth it, mind you, but a handful. According to the TV show Big Love, three is unstable--it's always two against one. Four is a better number. We didn't watch Big Love until just recently. Seemed a little close to home. But we started watching old episodes and fell in love and are now completely caught up and awaiting the next season anxiously. I'd think after the first ten or twelve, adding another wife wouldn't add significantly to the difficulty of it. Adding them more than one at a time, you'd probably feel it, but going from 13 to 14... You'd hardly notice. I mean, you know, in terms of the work it would take. You'd probably have the whole polygamy thing down to a science by then. Last edited by ratbastid; 08-09-2008 at 08:26 AM..

08-09-2008, 11:56 AM	#23 (permalink)
ktspktsp Addict Location: Reykjavik, Iceland	Maybe he only sees them in shifts of 4?

08-09-2008, 12:33 PM	#24 (permalink)
blahblah454 Let's put a smile on that face Location: On the road...	I almost had 1 and couldn't even handle that. So 86? Not a chance! I have a hard enough time remember the names of the people I do know, unless he just numbers them and writes in on their foreheads. Lots of kids though, thats absolutely unbelievable. I think having 160 children would be harder than 86 wives.

08-09-2008, 12:48 PM	#26 (permalink)
blahblah454 Let's put a smile on that face Location: On the road...	I am pretty sure that after all the sex that man has had with no condoms there would be no way he would ever put one on. Can a man that old still have children? I don't even know when sperm are no longer effective.

08-09-2008, 11:18 PM	#27 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	welcome back blahblah! hope your back for good?!?! abaya, actually he's wrong. the quran does put limit on how many you can marry. i dont remember the verse reference, but it "marry in twos threes and fours, but if you cannot do justice between them marry only one" then again it all comes down to how you want to interpret things... from that he probably said that there was not explicit limitation and decided that it could go all the way to whatever he desired. he's nuts either way. __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

08-10-2008, 07:14 PM	#28 (permalink)
ASU2003 immoral minority Location: Back in Ohio	If there was a virus that killed off 99% of men in the world, I think it would be interesting having so many wives. It wouldn't be easy though. I'm thinking 100 would be doable if they had low sex drives or got headaches all the time at 9pm at night. There may be 10-20% of them that want sex each night. I think I could have sex with 10-15 of them a night and have multiple orgasms. It wouldn't be good sex all the time and the girls would have to help each other to get off often. Outside of sex is where things get complicated. Last edited by ASU2003; 08-10-2008 at 07:20 PM..

08-10-2008, 07:50 PM	#29 (permalink)
Sion Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.	according to Douglas Adams...the correct number of spouses is 42 __________________ He's the best, of course, of all the worst. Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

08-13-2008, 09:56 PM	#31 (permalink)
CHAPIN Upright	I decided to take it slowly Before commiting myself to having 86 wives I decided to give marriage a try with a single wife. After 21 years of marriage I can safely say that not having 86 wives was the best decision I ever made in my entire life! Imagine 86 moths whinning at me every single night about every single thing... I'm so glad I only get to listen to one, gives me more than plenty headaches.

08-18-2008, 09:42 AM	#32 (permalink)
speshul-k Insane	I've always wanted a harem of my own.

08-26-2008, 03:42 AM	#33 (permalink)
vermin Indifferent to anti-matter Location: Tucson, AZ	Imagine that: 86 voices all nagging you to take out the garbage, let the dog out, change the cat's shitbox, help the kids with their homework, etc. etc. etc. __________________ If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

09-01-2008, 04:24 PM	#34 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	I would think with that many women, if they are industrious and given enough land and natural resources, they would be able to provide enough food to support their families. The number of children is not incredible, considering the number of women involved. That's about 2 kids per woman - completely reasonable. It would be interesting to observe this family and to see how they live. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy