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abaya 08-08-2008 02:46 PM

86 wives: Not a good idea
 
I must say that this little story gave me a chuckle while reading the news today. Apparently a man in Nigeria has 86 wives (could he be a Nigerian Spammer?... is that how he feeds them all, including his 170 children?), but doesn't think it's a very good idea:
Quote:

Originally Posted by BBC News
Nigerian advises against 86 wives   click to show 
BBC NEWS | Africa | Nigerian advises against 86 wives

There were a few choice quotes in there:
Quote:

"A man with 10 wives would collapse and die, but my own power is given by Allah. That is why I have been able to control 86 of them," he told the BBC.
Quote:

"To my understanding the Koran does not place a limit and it is up to what your own power, your own endowment and ability allows," he says.
Quote:

"As soon as I met him the headache was gone," says Sharifat Bello Abubakar, who was 25 at the time and Mr Bello Abubakar 74.
On the other hand, if we're speaking evolutionarily here... 170 offspring is pretty damn successful. And even if he slept with one wife every night (maybe he makes his money off of promoting Viagra?), he wouldn't go through the entire rotation for almost 3 months... that's sure to keep the marital boredom away.

So, what do you say? What is the maximum number of spouses/mistresses that you could tolerate? This man says that the average husband could only deal with 10 wives before collapsing. In Nepal, there is a culture where individual women typically marry a set of brothers, so they are the ones with 3-4 husbands instead of the other way around. Not a bad deal, but the management might drive me batty. I'll stick with one. :)

Thoughts on this odd situation?

Punk.of.Ages 08-08-2008 03:10 PM

How many wives could I handle?

0

At least at this time.

I don't understand women and they don't understand me!:p

snowy 08-08-2008 03:24 PM

I can't even imagine having that many spouses of either gender. Two would probably be okay, but 86 seems like complete overkill, not to mention it's pretty apparent that this man does not have the means to support all of his wives and offspring. To me, having your children and wives beg for you is not support, and eating rice and only rice every day is only sustenance. But I suppose for many of these women they have a better existence than they otherwise might have had by being with Mr. Abubakar.

Ayashe 08-08-2008 03:27 PM

All I can think of is that the sex better be darn good because you know it is going to likely take a long time for your turn to come around. Call me selfish.

abaya 08-08-2008 03:30 PM

Well, I don't know... with that guy, maybe they're glad that it's only 4 times a year?

biznatch 08-08-2008 03:32 PM

Wow. That's a lot of wives. He must have some kind of superpower.

Spartanx9 08-08-2008 03:49 PM

86 wives... O.o

Ayashe 08-08-2008 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya (Post 2503570)
Well, I don't know... with that guy, maybe they're glad that it's only 4 times a year?

Hah, I hadn't thought of it that way. True, very true.

ktspktsp 08-08-2008 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya (Post 2503570)
Well, I don't know... with that guy, maybe they're glad that it's only 4 times a year?

At age 84? I think he would need a few nights off...

abaya 08-08-2008 04:26 PM

Hahaha... well, then again, he's got 170 kids... so he must still be pretty "active."

StanT 08-08-2008 04:39 PM

1

Not a chance in hell I want them ganging up on me.

ItWasMe 08-08-2008 06:39 PM

I love my husband, but ONE is enough work. Thank you very much.

abaya 08-09-2008 03:50 AM

I really think that Viagra should hire this guy as a spokesperson. It would be the perfect ad... can you imagine, this man standing with 86 wives behind him, and his 170 children? The soundbite could be modified to say:

"A man with 10 wives would collapse and die, but my own power is given by VIAGRA. That is why I have been able to control 86 of them,"

:lol:

ktspktsp 08-09-2008 03:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya (Post 2503790)
"A man with 10 wives would collapse and die, but my own power is given by VIAGRA*. That is why I have been able to control 86 of them"

* Results not guaranteed. If your erection lasts for over 4 hours, go see a doctor. And don't poke him in the eye.

jewels 08-09-2008 04:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya (Post 2503790)
"A man with 10 wives would collapse and die, but my own power is given by VIAGRA. That is why I have been able to control 86 of them,"

:lol:

:lol: I love it!

How about the woman with 86 husbands? :devious:

Halx 08-09-2008 05:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jewels (Post 2503815)
:lol: I love it!

How about the woman with 86 husbands? :devious:

Some motor oil sponsor then.

*ducks and runs away*

mixedmedia 08-09-2008 05:46 AM

I dunno, I think I could deal with 86 husbands if I had the means to support them.

There'd probably only be 2 or 3 that I'd have sex with regularly. The rest of 'em could do other important things like changing the oil in my car (:p) and pedicuring my toes.

dlish 08-09-2008 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mixedmedia (Post 2503841)
I dunno, I think I could deal with 86 husbands if I had the means to support them.

There'd probably only be 2 or 3 that I'd have sex with regularly. The rest of 'em could do other important things like changing the oil in my car (:p) and pedicuring my toes.

i am at your service mixedmedia..wheres the nailpolish?

seriously..are these his wives? or are they merely concubines? you'd be hard pressed to find a shiekh who would be willing to marry this guy to 84 women. its not islamically possible.

ratbastid 08-09-2008 08:24 AM

Two is a handful. Worth it, mind you, but a handful.

According to the TV show Big Love, three is unstable--it's always two against one. Four is a better number.

We didn't watch Big Love until just recently. Seemed a little close to home. But we started watching old episodes and fell in love and are now completely caught up and awaiting the next season anxiously.

I'd think after the first ten or twelve, adding another wife wouldn't add significantly to the difficulty of it. Adding them more than one at a time, you'd probably feel it, but going from 13 to 14... You'd hardly notice. I mean, you know, in terms of the work it would take. You'd probably have the whole polygamy thing down to a science by then.

abaya 08-09-2008 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlish (Post 2503900)
seriously..are these his wives? or are they merely concubines? you'd be hard pressed to find a shiekh who would be willing to marry this guy to 84 women. its not islamically possible.

Well, the only information we have to go on is at the end of the article...
Quote:

She says that most of the wives see Mr Bello Abubakar as next in line from the Prophet Muhammad.

Indeed, he claims the Prophet Muhammad speaks to him personally and gives detailed descriptions of his experiences.

It is a serious claim for a Muslim to make.

"This is heresy, he is a heretic," says Ustaz Abubakar Siddique, an imam of Abuja's Central Mosque.
As I think I said before... why aren't they protesting this guy's marriage practices worldwide? If you ask me, the Danish cartoonists have nothing on this guy. :)

telekinetic 08-09-2008 11:41 AM

I'm going to have to file this line away for future use, if/when we decide to expand from one wife to two (or four, I agree that 3 is unstable)

Quote:

"I said I couldn't marry an older man, but he said it was directly an order from God," she says.

abaya 08-09-2008 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlish (Post 2503900)
seriously..are these his wives? or are they merely concubines? you'd be hard pressed to find a shiekh who would be willing to marry this guy to 84 women. its not islamically possible.

And don't forget, dlish, what he said about his interpretation of the Koran:
Quote:

"To my understanding the Koran does not place a limit and it is up to what your own power, your own endowment and ability allows," he says.
... clearly, God has made him "well-endowed" enough that it's he's simply able to, uh... maintain 86 wives instead of the usual max of 4. :lol:

ktspktsp 08-09-2008 11:56 AM

Maybe he only sees them in shifts of 4?

blahblah454 08-09-2008 12:33 PM

I almost had 1 and couldn't even handle that. So 86? Not a chance! I have a hard enough time remember the names of the people I do know, unless he just numbers them and writes in on their foreheads.

Lots of kids though, thats absolutely unbelievable. I think having 160 children would be harder than 86 wives.

abaya 08-09-2008 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blahblah454 (Post 2504036)
Lots of kids though, thats absolutely unbelievable. I think having 160 children would be harder than 86 wives.

Right... but genetically, it's genius. Isn't this what evolution is all about? Lots of successful sperm, tons of surviving offspring... this is supposedly the reason why men are more biologically inclined than women to have multiple mates, right? In order to maximize the distribution of their genes and all that.

But eh, thank god we don't live according to our biology alone. Someone should get him a Costco-sized box of condoms (or birth control). :)

blahblah454 08-09-2008 12:48 PM

I am pretty sure that after all the sex that man has had with no condoms there would be no way he would ever put one on.

Can a man that old still have children? I don't even know when sperm are no longer effective.

dlish 08-09-2008 11:18 PM

welcome back blahblah! hope your back for good?!?!

abaya, actually he's wrong. the quran does put limit on how many you can marry.

i dont remember the verse reference, but it "marry in twos threes and fours, but if you cannot do justice between them marry only one"

then again it all comes down to how you want to interpret things... from that he probably said that there was not explicit limitation and decided that it could go all the way to whatever he desired.

he's nuts either way.

ASU2003 08-10-2008 07:14 PM

If there was a virus that killed off 99% of men in the world, I think it would be interesting having so many wives. It wouldn't be easy though. I'm thinking 100 would be doable if they had low sex drives or got headaches all the time at 9pm at night. ;) There may be 10-20% of them that want sex each night.

I think I could have sex with 10-15 of them a night and have multiple orgasms. It wouldn't be good sex all the time and the girls would have to help each other to get off often.

Outside of sex is where things get complicated.

Sion 08-10-2008 07:50 PM

according to Douglas Adams...the correct number of spouses is 42

ItWasMe 08-10-2008 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlish (Post 2504230)
...i dont remember the verse reference, but it "marry in twos threes and fours, but if you cannot do justice between them marry only one"

he's nuts either way.

So if he marries two, three, or four at a time, each time he wants an addition, maybe he is legal? I think he's nuts, too.

CHAPIN 08-13-2008 09:56 PM

I decided to take it slowly
 
Before commiting myself to having 86 wives I decided to give marriage a try with a single wife. After 21 years of marriage I can safely say that not having 86 wives was the best decision I ever made in my entire life!

Imagine 86 moths whinning at me every single night about every single thing... I'm so glad I only get to listen to one, gives me more than plenty headaches.

speshul-k 08-18-2008 09:42 AM

I've always wanted a harem of my own.

vermin 08-26-2008 03:42 AM

Imagine that: 86 voices all nagging you to take out the garbage, let the dog out, change the cat's shitbox, help the kids with their homework, etc. etc. etc.

genuinegirly 09-01-2008 04:24 PM

I would think with that many women, if they are industrious and given enough land and natural resources, they would be able to provide enough food to support their families. The number of children is not incredible, considering the number of women involved. That's about 2 kids per woman - completely reasonable. It would be interesting to observe this family and to see how they live.


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