Tully Mars

My days been a little down but when I read this I thought "well, at least no one trying to steal my cock...


KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said. Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.

"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.

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I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

Willravel

There aren't enough witches in the world, baby.

The_Jazz

Allow me to say that if I had access to Youtube at work, I'd be posting the scene from "Monty Python & The Holy Grail" about witches along with the scene from "The Princess Bride" that ends with "I'm not a witch; I'm your wife."

I thought of it first, just got aced out by work rules. So there.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

Manic_Skafe

Don't tell me what happens next week when they discover fire.

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"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

Tully Mars

Hadn't even thought of that, but yeah that sure fits.

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I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

mixedmedia

The Congo. heh, that's one crazy place.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

blahblah454

These people must lead really boring lives if lynching penis snatchers is a favored past time

SSJTWIZTA

shit!

they're on to me!

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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

genuinegirly

Goes to show that hysteria can make people believe anything.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

sapiens

It's not just the Congo: Penis Panic is everywhere!!!

See Koro in SE Asia.

lotsofmagnets

the curse of the married man!

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mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

ngdawg

Why this cracked me up, I have no idea....

The_Jazz

ng, it's the use of the term "members". "Members".











penis

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

blahblah454

You know Jazz I didn't even catch that, but now that you point it out thats all I keep seeing!

ngdawg

Well, yea.....not sure if they wanted theirs cracked down on either...

Fotzlid

Or a strong belief in something.
I had a young woman as a patient a few years ago who came in with a variety of complaints, none of which we could ID with any tests. When one of her aunts came in, she told us that a local voodoo practitioner had put a hex on her. We got a local priest from her community in to speak with her and after a couple hours, she felt normal again and went home.

inBOIL

That made my penis shrink a little.

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And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

yournamehere

"Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear . . . "

In The Hamptons, we prefer, "I was in the pool! I was in the pool!"

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If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.

Punk.of.Ages

My penis and I are very glad we're not in the Kongo.

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"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Giant Hamburger

I like the sound of penis snatching but I don't like what it means here.

dlish

penis shrinkage? isnt that something u get after you dive in a pool?

anyone seen the seinfeld episode?

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An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

World's King

I'm gonna use this excuse next time I can't keep it up during sex.



"Honey, I swear... some dude touched my on the subway and now my penis doesn't work."

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

noname_2_day

TNB

Halx

Even that god exists.

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