Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community (https://thetfp.com/tfp/)
-   General Discussion (https://thetfp.com/tfp/general-discussion/)
-   -   Hold on to your junk boys... (https://thetfp.com/tfp/general-discussion/134205-hold-your-junk-boys.html)

Tully Mars 04-23-2008 09:24 AM

Hold on to your junk boys...
 
My days been a little down but when I read this I thought "well, at least no one trying to steal my cock...


KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said. Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.

"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.

Willravel 04-23-2008 09:30 AM

There aren't enough witches in the world, baby.

The_Jazz 04-23-2008 09:35 AM

Allow me to say that if I had access to Youtube at work, I'd be posting the scene from "Monty Python & The Holy Grail" about witches along with the scene from "The Princess Bride" that ends with "I'm not a witch; I'm your wife."

I thought of it first, just got aced out by work rules. So there.

Manic_Skafe 04-23-2008 09:36 AM

Don't tell me what happens next week when they discover fire.

Tully Mars 04-23-2008 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz
Allow me to say that if I had access to Youtube at work, I'd be posting the scene from "Monty Python & The Holy Grail" about witches along with the scene from "The Princess Bride" that ends with "I'm not a witch; I'm your wife."

I thought of it first, just got aced out by work rules. So there.

Hadn't even thought of that, but yeah that sure fits.

mixedmedia 04-23-2008 10:47 AM

The Congo. heh, that's one crazy place.

blahblah454 04-23-2008 11:59 AM

These people must lead really boring lives if lynching penis snatchers is a favored past time

SSJTWIZTA 04-23-2008 02:37 PM

shit!

they're on to me!

genuinegirly 04-23-2008 02:40 PM

Goes to show that hysteria can make people believe anything.

sapiens 04-23-2008 02:45 PM

It's not just the Congo: Penis Panic is everywhere!!!

See Koro in SE Asia.

lotsofmagnets 04-23-2008 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tully Mars
..with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.


the curse of the married man!

ngdawg 04-23-2008 03:36 PM

Quote:

Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.
Why this cracked me up, I have no idea....

The_Jazz 04-23-2008 04:25 PM

ng, it's the use of the term "members". "Members".











penis

blahblah454 04-23-2008 05:50 PM

You know Jazz I didn't even catch that, but now that you point it out thats all I keep seeing!

ngdawg 04-23-2008 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz
ng, it's the use of the term "members". "Members".











penis


Well, yea.....not sure if they wanted theirs cracked down on either...

Fotzlid 04-23-2008 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by genuinegirly
Goes to show that hysteria can make people believe anything.

Or a strong belief in something.
I had a young woman as a patient a few years ago who came in with a variety of complaints, none of which we could ID with any tests. When one of her aunts came in, she told us that a local voodoo practitioner had put a hex on her. We got a local priest from her community in to speak with her and after a couple hours, she felt normal again and went home.

inBOIL 04-23-2008 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ngdawg
Well, yea.....not sure if they wanted theirs cracked down on either...

That made my penis shrink a little.:uhh:

yournamehere 04-23-2008 09:17 PM

"Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear . . . "

In The Hamptons, we prefer, "I was in the pool! I was in the pool!"

Punk.of.Ages 04-24-2008 10:38 AM

My penis and I are very glad we're not in the Kongo.

Giant Hamburger 04-24-2008 11:03 AM

I like the sound of penis snatching but I don't like what it means here.

dlish 04-25-2008 08:25 AM

penis shrinkage? isnt that something u get after you dive in a pool?

anyone seen the seinfeld episode?

World's King 04-25-2008 08:35 AM

I'm gonna use this excuse next time I can't keep it up during sex.



"Honey, I swear... some dude touched my on the subway and now my penis doesn't work."

noname_2_day 05-03-2008 08:26 PM

TNB

Halx 05-03-2008 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by genuinegirly
Goes to show that hysteria can make people believe anything.

Even that god exists.


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:59 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360