HN420

So this is one of my first posts here and like I said in the friday thread I'm pretty bored lol. I was just wondering what you guys and gals think of this situation:

In real life I have been dating this wonderful woman for 15yr's now [I'm 25 and she's 26]. We're both handicap [She has a rare brital bone disease, and I have an unknown form of Muscular Dystrophy] but we both enjoy our relationship with each other.

Like everyone else we have really big dreams, but with the way the world works today those dreams are likely to remain just that. We both live with our families, me with my grandparents and we only see each other around 3 times per year.

To keep our relationship strong we talk every night for hours over the phone, and we play online video games together so we can "see" each other daily. On my 24th birthday I spent the weekend at her place and proposed to her, she said yes and believe me those 10 seconds seemed like an eternity.

Now this is where things are not so good. With our medical conditions we cannot be alone and need nurses and aides to care for us, but neither of us can work. We can't work not because we choose not to, but because due to state laws [me in Louisiana, and her in Mississippi] we could only make $50 per month. If we were to make any more we could lose our medical benefits, now as for as the marriage thing goes. Again due to laws if we got married legally we would lose all of our medical benefits as well because mariiage would make us healthy all of a sudden.

So we can't get married due to money issues and we cannot get married due to laws, so we decided that as long as we're together we've already been married. Out of the 2 of us she is deffininetly the stronger one while I'm the one that is always asking "what if...?". To keep our dream of having a wedding, even if its not legally signed, we have been writing letters to different television shows...maybe one day our dream can come true, even if it means still living apart.

So if you were in our situation, what would you do?
-D.

noodle

Have a committment ceremony presided over by someone that I and my partner cared about and declare our love and committment for each other in front of all of our loved ones. Laws, paper and fiancials be damned. Have a party.

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Manic_Skafe

I'd definitely do what fredweena suggested. If you feel your love is real then that's all that really matters - whether you have the paper or not is just a matter of semantics.

Have you guys considered living together? Is that a possibility?

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"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

HN420

We're saving up the little money we have to try and do that if all else falls through. As for as living together it would also equal we're "healthy" so....lol.

IdolGirl

I would do what was already suggested, and have a commitment ceremony followed by one hell of a party!! As far as living arrangements...I guess if there is no way to cohabitate without losing benefits, is there a way you can live closer together?

I'm assuming you're both under Medicare..I know they have a maximum income allowance before they cancel your benefits. I know they will shut them off if you get married because they figure your spouse's income will cover you. That's why so many widowed couples don't actually marry...but I have seen them cohabitate. Maybe medicare isn't aware? Perhaps one of them is using a different mailing address, like that of a family member, but they are really living with their new partner... I'm not suggesting that you deceive Medicare or anything, but.....any chance of having a nearby relative with a sympathetic heart?

flat5

..

The_Jazz

Fredweena gets it right for us with the very first post.

Have a great party, and try to post some pictures for us.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

HN420

Yeah we've talked that over and if all else fails we'll do that after her brother graduates. I have some pictures of us at a family camping outing if you wanna see/if it's ok to post.