Monsters in my Wine
 

The other night I was having a glass of wine. I don't drink wine all that much these days. Being alone I hate opening a whole bottle for myself because it means I have to finish it over a couple of days. So having some wine was a nice treat.

I was laying bed, browsing the TFP and enjoying my wine. The glass was maybe three fingers from empty. I hadn't taken a sip for some time and reached over to finish the glass. I wasn't really looking at the glass but noticed after draining the remainder into my mouth something in the bottom of the glass... at first I thought it was sediment. A double take later I could see it was a very large cockroach!!!!

I spit the wine back into the glass.

Here for your pleasure is the cockr... wait. This wasn't just a cockroach. It was a fucking cockroach.

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/charlatan/517774087/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/210/517774087_b35a83ed49.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Wino Roach" /></a>

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/charlatan/517771519/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/241/517771519_59ffda21fa.jpg" width="500" height="455" alt="Dead Roach" /></a>

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/charlatan/517742046/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/235/517742046_d93e186f8a.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="Drunken Roach" /></a>

(shudder)

How about you? What have you almost eaten lately?

All I have to say is Ewwww.


oh, and I will be checking my wine from now on. *shudder*

I am checking my wine. The floor beneath my bed.

...and the skies.

These fuckers can fly!

mmmm....think of the extra protein

I once ate a green stink-bug that flew into a bag of chips I was eating. That was a pretty bad day.

I can say with certainty I would have burst into tears at that point. And then thrown up.

The closest I have come to that is a gnat in my wine...which isn't actually close at all.

I was so hoping your title was a figure of speech.

I assumed it was about some hallucinigenic beverage...

Looks like a palmetto bug. Had my first encounter with one when I first moved to Florida. I was moving into a newly constructed house, needed a drink of water, turned on the tap, and it came crawling out of the faucet as if to say, "Hi, neighbor!"

Needless to say, water filters were installed that same day and it's been bottled water ever since.

*EDIT* Just found out that palmetto bugs are cockroaches. Still rates a 10 on the eww factor.

*shudder*
That's just...wrong.
*shudder*

The only thing I can think of is one time when I was drinking a can of soda at work. I picked up the can and lifted it to my lips and started to take a sip when I felt this strange vibration. A bee had flown into the can.

I do not feel better clicking on this thread. I do not. Nope. Nope, I don't. I haven't eaten (or almost) anything truly gross... though I used to run around the farm I grew up on barefoot, and wandered into the field and accidently stepped in a cow patty. That was pretty gross. But I could wash that off easily. A fucking cockroach in your wine? You can't wash your throat, you know?

Ew.

Ew. Did the thing fly in there, or come with the wine, I wonder. I'll be watching my wine, too.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...hil/33beer.jpg

i was drinking a bottle of this crap in a dingy little bar in nha trang back in 1968 when a cigaret butt swam into my mouth. i uncapped the bottle myself and no one else had a chance to put anything into the bottle after i opened it. shoddy quality control at the brewery...

I swallowed a yellow-jacket at the state fair once. When it stang my esophagus I became extremely concerned. ...until it became clear I was going to survive.

It's a bug. If you were starving you would eat it.

I thought the title meant the wine gave him nightmares.....

I was given a bit of jerky once and told it was beef... until I ate it. It was Kangaroo.

Mmmm, I detect fruity undertones .... a bit of a woody flavor .... and .... mmmmm .... a fucking cockroach .... yes, very nice little number here.

*You* eat it!
Bwahahaha

Bwahahaha! :lol:

To quote Christopher Moore: "Sweet Tidy Bowl Jesus skipping on the blue toilet water..." Thank you, Charlatan. I'll be drinking my sake straight out of the (clear, non-infested) bottle from now on.

I nearly took a sip of red wine with a dead wolf spider floating in it. Huge ewww factor, and my sister now stores her crystal upside down.

I was at a bar and I was drinking a beer, later on I took a swig and a ciggarette butt ended up in my mouth, some motherfucker stuck there smoke in my bottle. I was ready to kill someone. Never found out who did it though.

I've always held that anything ingested whilst consuming an alcoholic beverage wasn't going to hurt me.

So....was he dead drunk or just dead?

I would have thrown up seeing that...
The worst I'd done is drink from a beer can that had been used as an ashtray.
And, no, Carno, starving to death wouldn't get me to eat a bug!

The problem, outside of the fact it's disgusting, is that cockroaches often eat crap that no human can digest. Cockroach poison, for example, can take some time to kill the roach. Had that roach eaten some poison before becoming trapped in a wino's paradise, it could have made the wine itself slightly to moderately dangerous. While the alcohol would have killed the bacteria and most viruses, poison would not have been effected.

damn there are big cockroaches in Singapore too...

get more geckos :)

Ninja Gecko Vs. Sumo Cockroach.... in your kitchen every night.

eh... bugs. don't read the FDA minimums ALLOWED. You'll never eat again.

The Geckos are cool but this roach would have eaten a gecko for lunch.

Some fun stats from www.eatbug.com!

And don't tell me you wouldn't fight your friends over the only agave worm...

Ew!!! I have never seen a cockroach before!!! Wrong wrong wrong. *hugs for Charlatan for his horrible experience*! I haven't had any bad things like that happen with critters, cigarette butts or anything else in my food/drink, so I'm fortunate. I'm sure while sleeping or riding a bike I have ingested some sort of bug, but that would be about it, thank the Lord haha!

I would totally throw up if I found a cockroach in my wine glass! Your stomach is stronger than mine, Charlatan!

QFT. Alcohol clenses all. :)

Seriously, I hope you don't develop a complex now, buddy. How tramatic.

As they say, god is in the details... and the detail I left out was that I finally chucked the carcass out of my 14th story window...

Who's the bitch now, bitch?

:lol:

(teach you to sully my precious bodily fluids)

Is it ever possible the monsters showed up after you poured your wine---say while you were looking at the computer screen engrossed in some thread about college girls gone wild?
Either option is gross....

I had a childhood friend who's house was infested with them. I used to be scared to sleep over there for the fear that one would crawl in my mouth :paranoid:

LMAO! they really can!!!

Hagatha... yes. It's very possible.

And as for the flying thing... yes. They fly. I was at an out doors restaurant in Malaysia last night and there were a few roaches flying around and freaking out my friends... One landed on my neck. I think they are out to get me.

Assuming that you were watching as you poured the wine it seems that it would have been very noticable if the cockroach actually came out of the bottle and in to your glass. It also seems odd, however, that if the cockroach got in to your glass after you poured it that it would have just dropped dead like that. Those things usually like to put up a fight.

The first time I got some sediment in my wine glass I freaked out. I can't imagine what I'd do if I had a cockroach in there.

Oh god they can fly too....uhhhh...!

Terminal... I couldn't have come out of the bottle as the bottle was too small. It could very well have put up a fight in the wine as it was just out of my peripheral vision.

I just saw another one racing across my living room with the cat in hot pursuit.

Thankfully I am moving.

gah! i opened a container of rice last night only to find it infested with some flour bugs... blech. had pasta instead.