Exscinded

In our daily lives, we generally (many of us, anyway) encounter a fair amount of people- whether it's at the grocery store, at work, or just with our friends and acquaintences on the phone. How we interact with the people we see depends largely on our level of closeness to them. The butcher at the deli may get a smile and a friendly hello, maybe a "how's your day going?" whereas the friend you meet up with for lunch would obviously be a much different story.

The question is, no matter who it is we're talking to, how much are we actually saying? Do you find that you speak your mind most of the time, or do you "bite your tongue" so as not to cause waves? Do you find that the relationship with the person you're talking to increases or actually decreases how forthcoming you are with what might be a sensitive comment?

In other words, are you more likely to say what you think if the person is more of a stranger, or if you know the person well? Some might say they feel more free to say what they think around those with whom they have more rapport, but then others will say that it's specifically the lack of closeness that drives them to speak their mind more freely with those people they know very little, or not at all.

As for me, I find myself fairly equal on both accounts, neither more restrictive or open regardless of to whom i'm talking.

Ourcrazymodern?

I'd estimate <1/2%. That could be exaggerating.
Obviously, strangers get less of it than intimates.

"...what excellent grammar you have!"

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

CptAJ

Oh, I bite my tongue most of the time. Unless something happens that really angers me, like someone picking on somebody else or doing something really uncivilized. I also try to correct people when they say things that I know to be terribly wrong (And I hope people do the same when the roles are reversed).

But generally I try to avoid conflict unless the person really deserves it.

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"Knowledge comes by eyes always open and working hands, and there is no knowledge that is not power." Jeremy Taylor

warrrreagl

I suffer from a socially crippling disease, whereas anything and everything that pops into my head will come right out of my mouth instantly without warning.

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Living is easy with eyes closed.

JustJess

Too much of what I think comes out. If it's not polite, I usually manage to squelch it to a grumble instead of something that will get my ass kicked. In general... I really only say about 25% of what I'm thinking. I think a lot.

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My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

World's King

75%

But we all know I'm and asshole.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Lord Snooty

As a rule, I am inclined to speak my mind, but I am fortunate enough to be able to recognise when that might be an event worth saving for another, more auspicious occasion...

Willravel

I'd say about an even 50%. It comes with being half child and half adult.

fightnight

I think I have a reasonable amount of verbal diarrhea and say what I'm thinking more than I should, but I suppose it's also situational. I think I keep it more under wraps with people i know/work with, than the random every day people.

ShaniFaye

you're not suffering the disease alone

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Redlemon

I hardly every say anything. It takes me a few months with a new group before I really understand where people's boundaries are, which I just don't want to cross. Only once I get to know somebody do I feel comfortable enough to criticize, and even then, only in a constructive fashion.

I can't recall the last time I actually confronted somebody.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Jinn

98% of what I think isn't said, but I'm a motormouth. I'm not really "shy" in the conventional sense that I don't speak (because god, I do).. but I also think very quickly. I'm generally forming the next 6-8 sentences while I speak the current one..

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"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

Jove

I generally keep to myself at work because I am around nurses all day who like to be bossy and are rather grumpy, so I may be thinking "STFU and DIAF", but I bust out a smile and say hello.

My mind seems to be six steps ahead of my speech, so if I don't think about what I will say, I may, for example, say this: "Ohhowareyoutoday, theproblemwiththisisuhyouknowman", which is amusing to the other person in the conversation, but to me I sound like a fool.

little_tippler

I speak my mind most of the time, except if it's going to cause a really bad reaction at a really bad time from the person/people I'm saying it to or in front of. Most people tell me I am very frontal and that sometimes they have no idea what to say back. On a bad day I'd say I hate that people think that of me but on a good day I think it shows I have character and know my own mind. Eh.

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Lady Sage

Depends on who I am talking to. If I am at work of course I cant say what I want to. If I am not at work... no holds barred.

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If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open.
It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper
Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch.

Intense1

Sometimes I wish I could say all that is in my mind - however, I cannot, as it would cause great problems in not just my life but in my family's. I am caregiver for my mom who has dementia and when she accuses me of something or asks me for the nth time to take her to the grocery store (when we've already gone for the week), I just want to shout out "MOM! JUST CHILL OUT!"

When she riffles through her purse for the third time in ten minutes while I'm taking her to the Senior Citizen's Center, I just want to say, "Enough going through the purse already, Mom!"

When my brothers have something else to do on Saturday instead of coming over and helping out by taking care of Mom, I just want to say, "Hey, she's your mother too!"

BUt I don't, and I am starting to think it's high time I do some of this. At least asking for help with mom, that is.

And as for the other folks who come up to me and say how much my mom has changed, I just want to say, "Well what do you expect? She has dementia, she's not going to be the same as she was!"

Ok, rant over. I feel better now.

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(none yet, still thinkin')

Impetuous1

I usualy keep things locked down inside my own head with strangers and acquaintances. With friends and relatives, for the most part I say about 50% of what's on my mind. However as I get older, and care a lot less what people think of me, I find myself speaking my mind more and more nowadays. No matter who I'm speaking to. Which has gotten me in a bit of a bind at work.

Usually I'm very quiet and reserved at work because I don't want to get involved in office politics and because I'm a very dedicated worker. I like to do a good job and keep things on a superficial level socially. Well, this one woman has always made little comments to me about how short I am (though she's only about three inches taller) and how quiet I am and that she forgets that I'm there. So after her last comment, I finally had enough of her judgements and decided to tell her a little what I thought of her. She is always grumbling about work and using any excuse to get out of it. She is also very social with other people so uses that to her advantage, even with the supervisor, to get out of doing harder work. As a result of which, she has more time to be social. More difficult work then gets dumped onto the rest of the team due to her selfishness while she justs sits there hogging the easier work. I just asked her if she thought I was quiet because I didn't complain as much as she did. I didn't mean to say it. It just slipped out of my mouth. So now, since that day she has barely said a damn thing to me, which is now a bit uncomfortable. But you know what? I don't regret saying that at all.

hagatha

I weigh what I say most of the time because I never want to be hurtful. But sometimes, and i think we're all guilty of this at some point in our lives, something inappropriate or mean will come out and its done. Censoring my comments came with age and years of self examination.

But I don't confuse speaking my mind with being mean to others. Telling someone that something is bothering me doesn't imply its hurtful to them. Therein lies the difference.

Brewmaniac

It all depends on the situation, if I know someone fairly well they get it most of it but some things always stay inside like you've got really nice... or your a real dumb... but I can be more open with strangers at times because I really don't care what they think!

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"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

Atropos4

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

If it's during and arguement I usually keep my mouth shut. No use causing waves. From the childhood I had I learned it's better to keep my mouth shut and it will pass. I start out saying whatever but then just give up. If I shutup they shutup. I'm not big on confrontation.

If it's sarcastic and witty. I will most likely say it. Even if it gets me some odd looks.

My sarcastic mouth has gotten me into alot of trouble come to think of it.

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Jetée

"I think therefore I am." - Descartes

"I don't think all that much, therefore I stay quiet." - Jetstream

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As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi

roachboy

i dont rehearse what i am going to say in my head before i say it, so the op question is meaningless to me.
obviously, certain situations require management in terms of what gets said, but these are constraints that shape what i think about rather than little censor functions that run around my my skull suppressing certain sentences and letting others go through.

the only exception that i can think of really are those moments when i decide that the person i am talking to is an idiot.
the only exceptions to my not telling that person that he or she is an idiot happen in bars after one too many beverages, and this usually is an indication that it is time to go.

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a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear

it make you sick.

-kamau brathwaite

mixedmedia

I find I am moderating what I say, putting on different coats, different hats, different shoes all day long. It is a largely instinctive exersize that I'm really quite comfortable with. I don't think of it as not being myself, as I don't lie or pretend to be someone I am not...it's just that I have thoughts and opinions that I know are sometimes better left to myself and those that I feel comfortable expressing them with. Still, I usually manage to come off to most people as being a bit eccentric. That's good enough for me.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Fly

i'm who i am,and i say what i think.


no bullshit...........straight up.


kinda on the same page as World's King.............


asshole right here.


but i'm a nice asshole......

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BASTARD

SterlingStudios

ARTelevision

I seem to have about a thousand thoughts an hour.
I don't always say even one thing an hour.

The ratio must be on the order of a thousand to one...

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create evolution

Eweser

I find myself doing this as well, but I'm not comfortable with it and it's not being myself. Even with all the moderating I do, things better left unsaid still come out. I also fear that everything that I am not saying shows all over my face, and therefore am I really hiding anything by not saying what it is I am thinking? So I spend all my time thinking about what I should or should not have said. It's not much fun.

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"Whoever wrote this episode should die!"

mixedmedia

Well, I say things all the time that just kind of slip out. But I don't spend a lot of time worrying about them. It's not that what I keep to myself is something that I'm necessarily afraid of coming out...like they will reveal something bad about me...it's just that I'm well aware of the fact that most of the people around me are much more straitlaced than I am.

Mostly what I keep to myself are things that are darkly comic or sexually explicit...and curse words. These are things that I keep from people whom I don't know well...until I know better. But I don't fret over any of it.

At least, that is how I am today at 41. When I was younger I struggled with it a lot more because I struggled with the concept of "fitting in." Now I have no desire to fit in, but at the same time, I don't want to make people uncomfortable or offended by what I say. Sometimes I think things that are inappropriate to say in mixed company. *shrug* But it balances out with the people I feel I can just let it all hang out with. And TFP.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

hambone

I don't think what I think it worth vocalizing usually. Therefore, I don't say much of what I think at all.

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"Like liquid white from fallen glass,
Nothing to cry over"

stevie667

I say less than 0.5% of what i think.

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Office hours have changed. Please call during office hours for more information.

Cavi Mike

Very little because I pick people apart and I hate our government, unless I'm with my friends because we think on the same level.

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pearls ain't free

ItWasMe

Depends if I know the person I am saying it to. With friends/family I don't censor myself much. But I don't talk much with people I don't know. (internet not counting)Unless they talk to me first.

Destrox

I'm a massive thinker / role play / situation thinker....

so I'd say around 20% or so....

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You bore me.... next.

Crack

I say about 10% of the stuff I think about.

Good thing too, I don't like being sued, kicked, slapped, jailed, or thought mildly retarded.

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Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx

Lucifer

I've got a weird sense of humour that has gotten my into trouble before, so I try to be more silent. But when I get comfortable with someone, I'll forget this and blurt out stuff. Usually it's when I'm trying to be funny, but in my case it just comes out as stupid. come to think of it, this is usually how my relationships end...

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I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls.
- Job 30:29

1123, 6536, 5321

Ourcrazymodern?

<1/4%

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Jetée

varies from when I converse with an intellect,{39%} or if I am speaking to a jujubee{79%}.

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As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi