My Best Friend just got Engaged...wedding gift? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

surferlove007 · 12-16-2006, 05:21 PM

I'll do a background story first to help make the question clear. I grew up in Marietta, GA and moved to Fort Worth, TX when I turned 14 before high school. Well growing up there my best friend Ashley lived down the street and we were like sisters, just together all the time and always got along etc. Well even though I moved we've still remained very close despite the distance. She had been dating this guy for a couple years and tonight he proposed to her. She said I was the first person she called to tell the news to. Question time, she anticipates the wedding will be this summer sometime, and she wants me to be the maid of honor in it, however I have no idea what to get her as a happy engagement gift. I'm so happy for her, I started crying on the phone when she told me the news, and she started crying and we did all those things girls do with stuff like this. So then the thoughts of what do i get for her to celebrate such a wonderful thing? What are some unique wedding gift ideas. Another thing to consider, she is 18 and still in college, and not planning on babies until college is done.
I'm planning on flying out to be in the wedding which will be in GA, I told her I'd plan school around it and wouldn't miss it for the world.

The_Jazz · 12-18-2006, 06:07 AM

When things like this happen, my wife usually takes care of the details like sending gifts. However, there are a bunch of newlywed cookbooks, etc. that are inexpensive and make a nice statement. If she's only 18, there are a bunch of things that she'll need to make a house and home, and "unique" may not be as important as "useful".

kutulu · 12-18-2006, 12:59 PM

Hold off on buying a gift until you find out if they will register anywhere. People have registries for a reason, use it.

SirLance · 12-18-2006, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kutulu

Hold off on buying a gift until you find out if they will register anywhere. People have registries for a reason, use it.

An excellent suggestion but don't feel bound by a registry. Not an engagement gift, but one wedding present we got was a nice gift card to AMC theatres. We didn't register for it, yet it was one of the most thoughtful gifts we received. It got us out of the house, and we really enjoyed it.

Remember what happens AFTER the wedding... moving.... combining households... sending thank you cards.... if you can't afford much you could always give a "coupon" good for help with the above.

Just a few thoughts.

Sage · 12-18-2006, 07:21 PM

I'm always one to recommend The Guide to Getting it ON! by Paul Johannes. As this board has said time and time again, sex is a very important part of a relationship, and that book definitely covers EVERYTHING. It's great to have that resource around!

genuinegirly · 12-19-2006, 01:58 AM

As a best friend, I would definitely steer away from the gift registry route. The registry is designed for people that don't know the bride and groom well enough to figure out what they would appreciate.

This said, make a list of their interests, see what comes to mind. You have plenty of time to make a decision. Don't rush.

ShaniFaye · 12-19-2006, 04:07 AM

I have to totally diagree with the registry being for people that cant figure out what they want (keep in mind I run a wedding planning forum). Registries are to let people know what you need to start a new life together (they arent usually started until a few months before the wedding though, in time for the bridal shower, they are not for "engagement" gifts). It saves the couple from getting multiples of the same thing and you dont end up buying something thats the wrong color or not needed etc.

If it were my best friend and I was MOH, I would just be sending a congrats card. You are going to be spending a fair amount of money anyway between being responsible for the bridal shower, your dress/accessories for the wedding itself, travel to get to the shower/wedding and wedding gift. As MOH you have a LOT of responsibility and I think a card stating that you intend to be there for her and perform your duties would mean just as much.

(also keep in mind, I dont agree with the concept of engagement gifts...thats what the bridal shower is for)

surferlove007 · 12-20-2006, 12:28 PM

I unfortunately don't know alot about weddings...I wasn't anticipating being a MOH for quite some time, could someone describe the details of the job? Also since I'm in TX and shes in GA it makes planning everything hard. I get done with school the 8th, so I'm going to try to pack up and get out of there and get to GA a week or so before the event. We'll see.
She said she's going somewhere universal for the dress so I can go there while here and get my size, but other than that I have no idea.

ShaniFaye · 12-20-2006, 02:34 PM

MOH duties vary from bride to bride, its best if you find out whats "traditionally" done and then have a talk with her to find out what she expects from you. Unfortunately I had to fire my original MOH because she just had no clue and kept trying to tell me that I didnt want certain things I did. For example "traditionally" its the MOH's responsibility to throw the bridal shower (and bachelerette party). My original MOH got it in her head somehow I wouldnt want one because she convinced herself I didnt like "girly" things. We were also 3 months before the wedding and she still had made no attempt to find a dress. Fortuantely she took the firing with grace and we are still close. Even though I spelled things out for her and sent newsletters and stuff she still thought all she had to do was show up and walk down the aisle in front of me.

All brides are different, but mainly the MOH is supposed to be the right hand man so to speak and help the bride with all facets of planning the wedding and pre wedding parties (and dont forget the all important toast at the reception)

here is one site (this is not my wedding planning forum...I pm'd you the link for that) that will give you an idea of MOH responsibilities. Just remember these are NOT written in stone and your friend may have different ideas, so make sure to listen to what she tells you she wants you to do

http://www.bridesmaid101.com/maid_of_honor_duties.html

TheMumpus · 12-23-2006, 12:07 AM

Id make sure and aim for something that doesnt point straight to you, so you wont be the only one who gets attention from it... i'd pick something practical while memorable, without being too sentimental. that book might not be such a bad idea, although id aim for something a little more general, as well as mroe personal.

shalafi · 12-23-2006, 12:45 AM

There used to be a store in town I loved for wedding gifts. The last cousin that got married I got a ceramic thingy that doubled as a casserole dish or a nachos tray. Now its a Nextel store so no telling what the next cousin gets. I prefer those privately owned off the wall stores but thats just me.

12-16-2006, 05:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
surferlove007 Junkie	My Best Friend just got Engaged...wedding gift? I'll do a background story first to help make the question clear. I grew up in Marietta, GA and moved to Fort Worth, TX when I turned 14 before high school. Well growing up there my best friend Ashley lived down the street and we were like sisters, just together all the time and always got along etc. Well even though I moved we've still remained very close despite the distance. She had been dating this guy for a couple years and tonight he proposed to her. She said I was the first person she called to tell the news to. Question time, she anticipates the wedding will be this summer sometime, and she wants me to be the maid of honor in it, however I have no idea what to get her as a happy engagement gift. I'm so happy for her, I started crying on the phone when she told me the news, and she started crying and we did all those things girls do with stuff like this. So then the thoughts of what do i get for her to celebrate such a wonderful thing? What are some unique wedding gift ideas. Another thing to consider, she is 18 and still in college, and not planning on babies until college is done. I'm planning on flying out to be in the wedding which will be in GA, I told her I'd plan school around it and wouldn't miss it for the world.

12-18-2006, 06:07 AM	#2 (permalink)
The_Jazz Asshole Administrator Location: Chicago	When things like this happen, my wife usually takes care of the details like sending gifts. However, there are a bunch of newlywed cookbooks, etc. that are inexpensive and make a nice statement. If she's only 18, there are a bunch of things that she'll need to make a house and home, and "unique" may not be as important as "useful". __________________ "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

12-18-2006, 07:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	I'm always one to recommend The Guide to Getting it ON! by Paul Johannes. As this board has said time and time again, sex is a very important part of a relationship, and that book definitely covers EVERYTHING. It's great to have that resource around! __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

12-19-2006, 01:58 AM	#6 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	As a best friend, I would definitely steer away from the gift registry route. The registry is designed for people that don't know the bride and groom well enough to figure out what they would appreciate. This said, make a list of their interests, see what comes to mind. You have plenty of time to make a decision. Don't rush. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

12-19-2006, 04:07 AM	#7 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	I have to totally diagree with the registry being for people that cant figure out what they want (keep in mind I run a wedding planning forum). Registries are to let people know what you need to start a new life together (they arent usually started until a few months before the wedding though, in time for the bridal shower, they are not for "engagement" gifts). It saves the couple from getting multiples of the same thing and you dont end up buying something thats the wrong color or not needed etc. If it were my best friend and I was MOH, I would just be sending a congrats card. You are going to be spending a fair amount of money anyway between being responsible for the bridal shower, your dress/accessories for the wedding itself, travel to get to the shower/wedding and wedding gift. As MOH you have a LOT of responsibility and I think a card stating that you intend to be there for her and perform your duties would mean just as much. (also keep in mind, I dont agree with the concept of engagement gifts...thats what the bridal shower is for) __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

12-18-2006, 12:59 PM	#3 (permalink)
kutulu Junkie	Hold off on buying a gift until you find out if they will register anywhere. People have registries for a reason, use it.

12-20-2006, 12:28 PM	#8 (permalink)
surferlove007 Junkie	I unfortunately don't know alot about weddings...I wasn't anticipating being a MOH for quite some time, could someone describe the details of the job? Also since I'm in TX and shes in GA it makes planning everything hard. I get done with school the 8th, so I'm going to try to pack up and get out of there and get to GA a week or so before the event. We'll see. She said she's going somewhere universal for the dress so I can go there while here and get my size, but other than that I have no idea.

12-20-2006, 02:34 PM	#9 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	MOH duties vary from bride to bride, its best if you find out whats "traditionally" done and then have a talk with her to find out what she expects from you. Unfortunately I had to fire my original MOH because she just had no clue and kept trying to tell me that I didnt want certain things I did. For example "traditionally" its the MOH's responsibility to throw the bridal shower (and bachelerette party). My original MOH got it in her head somehow I wouldnt want one because she convinced herself I didnt like "girly" things. We were also 3 months before the wedding and she still had made no attempt to find a dress. Fortuantely she took the firing with grace and we are still close. Even though I spelled things out for her and sent newsletters and stuff she still thought all she had to do was show up and walk down the aisle in front of me. All brides are different, but mainly the MOH is supposed to be the right hand man so to speak and help the bride with all facets of planning the wedding and pre wedding parties (and dont forget the all important toast at the reception) here is one site (this is not my wedding planning forum...I pm'd you the link for that) that will give you an idea of MOH responsibilities. Just remember these are NOT written in stone and your friend may have different ideas, so make sure to listen to what she tells you she wants you to do http://www.bridesmaid101.com/maid_of_honor_duties.html __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

12-23-2006, 12:07 AM	#10 (permalink)
TheMumpus Upright Location: Texas	Id make sure and aim for something that doesnt point straight to you, so you wont be the only one who gets attention from it... i'd pick something practical while memorable, without being too sentimental. that book might not be such a bad idea, although id aim for something a little more general, as well as mroe personal.

12-23-2006, 12:45 AM	#11 (permalink)
shalafi ARRRRRRRRRR Location: Stuart, Florida	There used to be a store in town I loved for wedding gifts. The last cousin that got married I got a ceramic thingy that doubled as a casserole dish or a nachos tray. Now its a Nextel store so no telling what the next cousin gets. I prefer those privately owned off the wall stores but thats just me.