Prospective parents
 

This is directed mainly to people who plan on having children in the future, however those who are already parents are more then welcome to chip in.

One day I plan on having children. Not sure exactly when, seeing as I'm still young and have alot left to handle, but nonetheless, one day. However, I've pondered some weird thoughts lately on raising my future children.
My life has been pretty crazy so far, alot of good things however alot of bad. I'd love to talk about all the bad stuff, but this isn't the place to do it. It's definately things I dont want my child to be apart of though. However, it has shaped me to be the person I am today and I am in a good place. I've also done alot of the "good" things in life such as attended a university of california, athletics, internships, makin money (both in good ways / bad ways ). I want my child to do all the good things one day, however how am I gonna stop him or her from doing the bad things, because I've done alot of them? I'd feel like such a hipocrit. Just curious to see how you all do / plan on raising your children and if you allow them to do alot of the things you dont want them doing, just because at one point in your life you were doing them.

If anything its your duty to teach your children NOT to make the same mistakes you did. They will make their own mistakes of course, but just because you screwed up doesn't mean you can't help them avoid that same screw up.

I don't think that you can stop your children from doing bad things or behaving in any kind of way. Whether or not you did bad things in the past should not stop you from trying to lead them in the right direction. All you can do, in the end, is to teach them to think of the consequences of their actions before they make decisions and to learn responsibility. Responsibility seems to be a sorely lacking trait these days.

alot of the "bad" things out there though can yield valuable lessons and things that just cant be taught. These things also can help shape people into becoming, say "tougher", better problem solvers, etc etc. Its all pretty whack.

eh... no matter what you'll still give them something...

Mr. Larkin's words not mine shed the truest light...

Philip Larkin - This Be The Verse
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

Hahahahaha...

As your kids are old enough to handle hearing it, I would share your experiences with them. Advice sinks in better if people are saying "hey look, I did this and I wish I hadn't" vs. "don't do this".

Don't worry about being a hypocrite. Part of the whole point of parenting is to produce people better than you. :)

You should have kids if only for the reason that you can use them to annoy the hell out of people who don't have kids.

My mother never told us the bad about herself until we were older and could understand better. She would tell us anecdotes about her and her friends from the "good old days" but every story had a lesson associated with it. Wisdom is learning from other people's mistakes, and I can just about guarantee that your children will learn from some of yours. Parents aren't perfect, and they're better flawed, in my opinion.

Part of wisdom is being able to learn from the mistakes of others without having to make them yourself. Sure you learn faster from experiance, but I don't have to smoke crack to figure out it would be a bad thing for me to do.

Precisely. Learn from others mistakes. Think before you act. If most people did these things then they wouldn't have to go through so much suffering. Life will throw shit at you anyway. Why bury yourself in it if you can help it?

Yeah, you can't expect to have to be perfect before you have kids, then who would have them?

Plus, the perfect people don't have kids, so it's a vicious cycle. :lol: