When was the last time you put your foot in your mouth?
 

I don't mean in the literal sense. When did you last say something and then realise it was stupid, offensive, or just downright weird?

My foot never really leaves...

But really it depends on who decides what's putting my foot in my mouth, everything I say makes sense to me at the time.

There's probably been a few times since, but in grade four, on the day after my birthday, I told this kid which presents I liked and which ones I didn't. His fell into the latter catergory but I had forgotten that he gave them to me. I don't think our friendship ever recovered.

What about you Linda?

EDIT: For fun, and with the power of the Internet, I just tracked down his gift. It was a Mini-Transformer called Wheelie. While I sincerely feel bad for being a spoiled brat, I still stand by my assessment of the toy. Eesh.

A few weeks ago I was at a party and one of the people I was talking to said something about Star Trek. The subject turned to his collection and I mentioned that I had all of them on DVD... every series. When asked if I was a "trekker" I said something like, "Not really... I like the tv shows and movies, but I'd never be weird enough to own a uniform or anything." There was silence, and I said, "You own a uniform don't you?" The reply was, "Yes, two." Change of topic!

i do it online all the time and regret it the next morning. In person i rarely speak at all.

My foot is so far in my mouth i can walk on it, which is handy, because it's hard to run away on only one leg.

Mostly i say incredibly stupid things because i start a sentance about half way through my train of thought, and generally the first half explains what the sentance i'm saying is going on about, but because i don't tell people, things go badly. Very badly.

I do it so often I dont even keep track, I tend to speak my mind to much, which often gets me into such situations.

I can't recall the last time I didn't do it...

I try to think before I speak -- or write, but honestly -- i'm just too darned stupid most of the time... I often will say - oh good lord did I really say that?

just part of my charm I suppose... on any given day, people will be offended about pretty much anything... I just give them some material

Don't forget lindalove, onus is on the OP to pose the discussion and include their own thoughts to start the conversation or discussion. Please keep that in mind when you are posting threads.

As far as my own foot???

Well, back in my youth, I used to wear just slip ons, no socks, made it taste better to not have a mouthful of cotton when I had to insert foot into mouth.

Now, it happens infrequently, but most recently when I was posting on a thread here this morning....

I'm usually pretty tuned in to where people are at when I talk to them. My foot might occasionally approach my mouth, but I can usually stomp it back down on the floor pretty quick. Still, there are times when I'll say something that's just a little off from what people expect, and it seems to throw them.

A few weeks ago I was at a swing dance, and in the "thank you and chit chat" that happens after a song ends, the woman I was dancing with said, "You're wearing my very favorite cologne!"

The right thing to say would have been "Thank you!"

What I said was: "That's lucky!"

... Well it WAS! Think of all the colognes I might have been wearing!

This morning, 0800

BigBen, to colleague: "Whose brilliant fucking idea was it to do that?!"

Colleague, to BigBen: "Mine."

BigBen: "Carry on then."

Today. Yesterday. The day before that. As far back as I could talk :-).

At the funeral for my friend's father. Since we were talking about fathers, I turned to his girlfriend and asked "I've never met your father. When can I meet him?" He had recently died and she had just barely gotten over it. Her mother was there also.

Awkward.

Last Friday.

I was observing a 5th grade class and I was nervous as all get out about it.

During lunch, I was introduced to Principal Fisher in front of the teacher I was supposed to be observing and hundreds of screaming 10 year-olds. As I reached out to shake his hand I said.."Nice to meet you. I'm Michael....Fisher?"

Of course, my last name isn't Fisher. Thank the gods for all the screaming kids....

The last time I recall saying anything worth noting was about two year ago. There have surely been other times but this one sticks out, for me...

A pretty girl was introduced to me at a winter party and we talked for a bit. Later that night, outside, I was talking to a pretty girl who was leaving and I asked her her name. She kindly told that we had met earlier, inside, and I replied "Oh, right. I didn't recognize you with your coat on..."

I always carry a small bottle of water in my inside pocket to wash my foot down... The time that always makes me shudder when I think about it, though was a while back when I was at college. My friends and I were sat having breakfast after a heavy night out when my lecturer passed our table and said to me "Hell, You look rough...were you on the shorts last night?" To which I replied "No, I don't like midgets." She said "Oh, I do, my brother's one...he's lovely."

I was taking care of the kids while my wife slept in. When she appeared in the kitchen, I was surprised. I didn't hear her get up. Completely innocent, without any malice of forethought, I said, "Hey, you're up! Did you take a shower?"

"What," she yawned at me, "Can't you tell by my freshly-styled hair?"

She ran her fingers through her rather short 'do. Oblivious to the danger, I stumbled on.

"No. With your new haircut, I can never tell if you styled it or if . . . you . . . um. . . didn't. oh crap!"

Ya. She showered. She styled it.

Possibly the most embarassing moment of my life. I didn't say anything, my actions were sufficient...

It was Grade 10 awards evening, I had come 2nd in the grade and was to receive a diploma of some kind. My good friend, Curwin, had come 1st and was in line ahead of me. He walked up and got the diploma and a kiss on the cheek from our class teacher and went to take his spot facing the audience/parents. I followed, got my diploma, leaned in for my kiss.....

She went all wide-eyed and stepped back. I turned around and went to stand next to Curwin and valiantly mustered a smile amidst the giggles eminating from the crowd. Apparently Curwin was some kind of teacher's pet.

Usually daily. I'll get wrapped up in a conversation and then my brain will latch onto a tiny detail and start exploring the idea. Before I know it, I've repeated the process several times and I'll spit something out that seems like a perfectly logicial extension of the discussion to me but in reality is so far away from the topic I might as well be on another planet. This is usually met with an uncomfortable silence in which I stammer, blush and desperately try to explain my thought process.

For instance yesterday in the lounge people were talking about the Dick Cheney hunting incident and someone mentioned how he didn't have a duck stamp and I latched onto the stamp idea and ended up saying something about passports.

daily, hourly.

i love it when others choke on their foot in front of me. i'm relentless.

one the chaplain at work never lived down...
whispering... "wow, he doesn't look too good, does he?"
whisper back... "that's because he's dead, _________"

mine are usually the result of ADHD or intentionally trying to piss someone off, with a bit of a backfire.

Last night, on Valentines night...I was talking to a young lady on the phone, and cracked a "gay cowboy" joke, at the expense of Brokeback Mountain...And apparently her roomate/best friend/the girl sitting RIGHT beside her, had recently seen and enjoyed it...

Chalk that one up to a lost cause.

-Will

Recently? Let's see...

My old landlady made lunch, (don't know why,) and gave me a plate, and said that if I couldn't finish it, just chuck it out. Well, I did, and she's like, "sorry if it's not so good." So then I said, "it's better than nothing."

I intended that as praising her effort, but it just came out really bad.

The other thing that I remember vividly was a few weeks ago.
Guy: "You have really high standards, don't you?"
Me: "Now I do."

Yeah...

I do it all the time, but it doesn't get to me. I just laugh and shrug it off.. and then laugh some more.

I have an offensive sense of humor (hey, it's the way I am!), and sometimes the line, "Cancer is funny," gets that effect.

But I still laugh. If I had cancer it would be funny.

*foot in mouth*

Laugh. Weeeee :lol:

A few days ago, I was having sex with this girl for the first time. Anyhow, I am going at it and after a while she says to stop, she's getting raw down there. I said fine, no problem and she thought I was disappointed that we had to stop. (I wasn't really, I didn't care one way or the other and she was able to cum, so I did my job)

She said "don't be mad" and I said "don't worry about it, old lefty feels better anyhow". 2 seconds passed and in my head I went "Fuuuuuck, what a stupid thing to say." She was pissed and hasn't returned my calls since. Kinda funny.

Case in point for me.

Was talking with Sultana earlier and she mentioned seeing this thread. The subject then changed into how I was a tad shy about posting in some of the forums. She tells me to keep trying new things and to go for it when I have a question. At this point my strange brain took over. It went kinda like this hmm trying new things --> well I have been trying to talk to more people I don't know and be more social --> I did talk to some people in a cooking supply store the other day about wire whisks and driver's license pictures --> Tell Sultana about said encounter with wire whisks --> Sultana gets the impression I was speaking with random strangers in a cooking store about interesting ways to use a wire whisk in bed --> I turn beet red while listening to her gasp for breath from laughing so hard.

What a wonderful thing the brain is yes?

And I'm thinking, as Sgoilear is telling me this, "Wow, he really *is* trying out new things!!!"
I was so impressed, and faintly alarmed, but wanted to be supportive and encouraging...

And I could literally hear him blushing on the other end!

I put my foot in my mouth frequently. I usually fess up to it. Who cares, all in good fun! :)

Back in december after Dave's granny's funeral. We were all at a church for the meal (no ones house could hold everybody). We were done eating and Dave tried to get me to go outside to smoke and I told him I wasnt going to go....you dont go stand outside a church and smoke lol. He tried again to get me to go and I very loudly said, No Im not going to stand outside a church and smoke, my momma raised me better than that, at the same exact time HIS mother walked up to us.

I was mortified....his mom said something like, well I did the best I could lol His dad looked at me from across the room and my mortification was showing because he hollered out asking me what I'd done this time to get myself in trouble lol

on a happy note....everybody was laughing so it lessened the funeral gloom just a little....that counts for something......right?

the last time i literally put my foot in my mouth was probably a few months back while seeing if i could still do it. i can.

I had a former coworker in my office yesterday talking about business. He asked me about my wife and new son and I gladly prattled on for a few minutes before I remembered that his wife is pregnant and due in a few months. I asked how she was doing and he told me that they discovered last week that their child was stillborn and had to be surgically removed.

Obviously there's not much that I could do to avoid it, but I still felt like a schmuk.

Well I'm pretty new here so let me try and squeeze at least one foot in my mouth. What's up with the threads that have no title like this one for instance. Is it the in thing or the flavor of the month? Will it pass like when people used to write 'teh' instead pf 'the'?

I dont know.. not today I havent said too much today... sometime earlier this week Im sure.