All-time best comeback line
 

If I wanted my come back, I would have wiped it off your mother's chin when I was done..

"If it's that good, eat it yourself!"

i used to say, "you are what you eat, i guess that makes you a dick." no ones ever gotten this pissed. ever.

after a while he should have used the old "if i wanted any lip out of you, i'd juggle my zipper" line.

Too bad. I wanted to see some retribution a la Book of Eli.

"Touch me again with that hand, and you won't get it back..."

My favorite comebacks are all courtesy of Winston Churchill.

Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.”
Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”

Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.”
Churchill: “If I were your husband I would take it.”

Also, not a comeback, but I really enjoy the line "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire"