F*** My Life
 

Best. Site. Ever.

F*** My Life - FML : Your everyday life stories.

Yeah, good for a few laughs. I got there through StumbleUpon just the other day.

"Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML"

HAHAHAHA! I'll drink to that.

"Today, I went on a first date with an Egyptian/Cuban sorority girl. I asked her what language she was brought up speaking. She said that her mom spoke to her in Spanish, but that she only ever replied in English. I said, "Oh, kinda like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML"

My favourite so far!!!!!!!!

my favorite is this:
"Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidently sent it to my dad and got a text back saying "You definitely take after your mom". FML"

Not the fact that she sent a nude picture to her father, but the reply...

Today, I woke up surrounded in a hospital. I suffered a stroke and my left side is paralyzed. My mom brought me my phone that had a voicemail from my girlfriend of a year and a half saying she wanted to break up. FML

Kinda makes you wish you hadn't woken up huh?

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

Yuck!

Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML

Ouch

And my favorite

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. We've been together for three months. Two years before we began dating I received a confirmed successful vasectomy that she doesn't know about yet. FML

OH SH*T LMAO

OH, I love this one:

Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML

A few of my favorites:

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
#8816 (9) - 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm by PlayTag - sex - I agree, your life is f***ed (2009) - you deserved that one (1299)

Today, the girl I'm in love with told me she might be a lesbian. She then asked me if I wanted to have sex with her. Does she wanted to make 100% she was a lesbian? Her reply was: "No, I just think you'd be a good transition". FML
#6083 (13) - 02/03/2009 at 9:16am by Revi - sex - I agree, your life is f***ed (3605) - you deserved that one (201)

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style postion was fun, it reminded him what it would be like to rape a girl. FML
#4489 (11) - 02/01/2009 at 5:53am by anonymous - sex - I agree, your life is f***ed (4204) - you deserved that one (295)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML
#997 (2) - 01/12/2009 at 10:37am by LiLGeek - sex - I agree, your life is f***ed (863) - you deserved that one (188)

Common themes of guys fappin' at porn and getting caught and girls sending naked pictures to someone other than the intended target.

Pretty damn funny.

NEW:
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

Today, I saw a friend in the street but he didn't see me, so as a joke I decided to ring him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, sighed and didn't pick up. FML


aww..

Learn from others mistakes, or just laugh with them
 

F*** My Life - FML : Your everyday life stories.

If the world has gotten you down, it could always be worse. After you read some of these posts, your troubles hopefully won't seem quite so bad.

FML [f*** my life]
 

http://www.fmylife.com

and you thought you were having a bad day.

this website is funny and sad all at the same time. people log on and post about the crappy stuff that has happened to them. and you get to vote, is their life really f***ed or did they deserve it?

like...

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/found-n...augh-them.html

I knew I had seen this before. Nobody else liked it I guess. I thought it was quite funny.

That is too funny.

damn, i knew i should of done a search first. maybe i can get them merged or something.

Both o' y'all shoulda' done a bit o' searchin'

>>LINK<<

wow. didn't realize how popular this site was. but cool.

This.

:lol: My cousin used to do the same thing with pop corn.

Ohhhh fuck.

:lol:
Why cant I get the picture outta my head?!!!!

F*** MY LIFE!
 

Someone I know sent me this today... it's a website called 'F*** My Life'

It looks like a place where you can post situations throughout the day that made you say fuck my life. Some of these are actually pretty funny. There's even a little feature where you can vote, 'I agree, your life is fucked' or 'you deserved that one' haha.

F*** My Life - FML : Your everyday life stories.

See F*** My Life - Tilted Forum Project for discussion.

Shiiit. I never search.

Some of this is pretty hilarious and other stuff is kind of depressing if true.

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

This site always makes me feel so much better about myself it's great. It also pruves guys are duch bags,

"Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML"

This reminded me of something funny I found a while ago: google "England flops shafted by enormous todger". Sorry I can't post the direct link; TFP isn't letting me post URLs yet.

And chicks are cunts. It goes both ways.

If only there were some way for the universe to punish fake posts by making the content of fake posts actually happen to people, this would be great.
This is especially funny for me because my band is named Death Penis.

and what does one say to that?

Today, was my birthday. After hinting for almost 2 months for a Wii, my dad pulls out a shiny new Wii Package. The only problem? The box didn't have a Wii in it. My dad gave me a Wii box with my VCR inside and a note saying "This is life. Once you think you're happy, someone crushes it". FML

haHAHAAHAHHA

I love that site!!!