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Old 01-23-2009, 04:13 PM   #1 (permalink)
More Than You Expect
 
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Joaquin Phoenix = Greatest Rapper Alive

Quote:
Jaoquin Phoenix Underwhelms In Hip-Hop Debut
Joaquin Phoenix's dream of becoming a legitimate Hip-Hop artist took a hit last Friday (January 16), as the acclaimed actor delivered an abysmal set in his first ever music performance.

Eyewitness reports allege that Phoenix immediately unraveled on stage due to the lateness of brother in-law and director Casey Affleck, who was on hand to film the concert for a forthcoming documentary.

"Thanks for being late and f**king everything up," Phoenix allegedly barked at Casey over the mic.

Reports further state that Phoenix's actual rapping was embarrassing, with the retired actor repeatedly fumbling over his words and struggling to complete full bars.

Just one song into his show, the set abruptly came to an end after Phoenix fell off the stage while trying to incite a standard call and response chant.

The comical affair comes just one week after Joaquin Phoenix announced he would be creating a Hip-Hop album with rumored assistance from mogul Sean "Diddy" Combs.

Last October, Joaquin Phoenix officially announced his retirement from acting to pursue music full time.

Because of the over the top nature of the performance and Phoenix's haggard appearance, some are now speculating the upcoming documentary is actually an elaborate satire.

At press time, Joaquin Phoenix could not be reached for comment.
Admittedly, I've hated this guy since his role in Gladiator (which I guess was the point) but this is pretty much indefensible:



You'd think that being in an actor he'd at least be able to pretend to be a decent enough rapper. Maybe he'd even research the role. Apparently not:



Uggh.
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Old 01-23-2009, 04:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 01-23-2009, 04:30 PM   #3 (permalink)
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ummm, I'm going with the 'elaborate satire' theory...something just ain't real about it
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Old 01-23-2009, 05:09 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Wow, that's more douche than a truckload of Summer's Eve.
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Old 01-23-2009, 05:45 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Hip hop has been dead for awhile. Joaquin is here to fuck the corpse.
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Old 01-23-2009, 07:29 PM   #6 (permalink)
More Than You Expect
 
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Haha Crompsin. And Eso, Hip-Hop is far from dead but JoPho's special brand is in dire need of a toe tag. Maybe he can cash in on that Puerto Rican heritage and start doing reggaeton.
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Old 01-23-2009, 07:41 PM   #7 (permalink)
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JoPho... Mofo flows like a stack of SumzEev.
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Old 01-23-2009, 10:31 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedmedia View Post
ummm, I'm going with the 'elaborate satire' theory...something just ain't real about it
I'm with you on this. I too sense there is something not quite real about it.

Maybe it's fabricated...something to bring awareness to this Affleck film.

Who knows?

Joaquin Phoenix on MySpace Music - Free Streaming MP3s, Pictures & Music Downloads

If it's real...and Phoenix has gone from Walk the Line to this, in this time frame, then my guess is he's lost it and is in the process of burning out.
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Old 01-24-2009, 03:55 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Yep, I see two choices:

1. Joaquin is a few months from a hot dose of sleeping pills, Everclear, and cough syrup. If he's seriously trying to be a hip-hop star, and the above is what he is up to, I'd say he's clearly off the deep-end and/or clinically depressed.

2. He's taking the mockumentary to the HNL. In which case I applaud his efforts, because when you view it as satire / humor - the above clips are absolutely hilarious.
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Old 01-24-2009, 06:04 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
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uh...wow.
it's been a while since i've heard anyone free themselves so completely of that pesky flow business.
and to be so free of flow over a chopped up "take five" too.
wow.

in a world that includes the fantastic ill mitch

what joaquin is doing can't really be understood as satire.

the only way to know what is happening is to see comrade phoenix live. like maybe his energy is such that the film is distorted. maybe joaquin falls off stage every performance as a device to indicate what is to follow. maybe his shows are miracles of flow-free delivery.
maybe attending would be an apotheosis.
field work, comrades. science. the only way to know.
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Last edited by roachboy; 01-24-2009 at 06:11 AM..
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Old 01-24-2009, 01:04 PM   #11 (permalink)
She's Actual Size
 
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*headdesk* Please be satire. Pleeeeeeeeeeease.


I was looking forward to hearing him sing. I figured, after Walk the Line, he'd get into country, or maybe folk. But rap? Are you serious?

Sigh. It's gotta be satire, right? Or, as others have said, he's officially gone 'round the bed. I'm hoping for satire.
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Old 01-24-2009, 01:18 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Well, that's not something you see every day.

It has to be satire. Phoenix is far from a genius, but he's not retarded.

...


... COME ON! The guy was in Quills, he can't be all bad!
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Old 01-24-2009, 10:27 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Ehhhhh. I'm feeling incredibly uncomfortable. If this is in fact real, does this guy not have any friends/relatives decent enough to put an end to this, sit him down, and tell him to stop?
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Old 02-07-2009, 12:25 AM   #14 (permalink)
Psycho
 
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Two words: not good.
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Old 02-13-2009, 04:35 PM   #15 (permalink)
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The saga continues....



If you can't view it in your country, there are alternatives on the main site @ YouTube.
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