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-   -   PETA strikes again! (https://thetfp.com/tfp/found-net/140757-peta-strikes-again.html)

Jozrael 09-25-2008 08:15 AM

PETA strikes again!
 
Quote:

PETA has waged its latest war on...ice-cream!

But wait, they're not demanding to put an end to the tasty treat - instead, they've asked US Ice-cream giant Ben & Jerry to replace cow's milk with human breast milk (!!), claiming it would "lessen the suffering of dairy cows".

The animal rights group said one brave Swiss restaurant is already using breast milk bought from human donors for at last 75 percent of their dairy-based foods. (Yes, this means sauces, soups, cakes...and brings a whole new meaning to the term 'organic'.)

"Everyone knows 'breast is best'," PETA said, "So Ben & Jerry's could do consumers and cows a big favour by making the switch to breast milk."

Of course, PETA is no stranger to the food industry, with Pammy being the face of anti-KFC campaigns (among others). But rather than relying on the kindness of all the lactating mums out there for a cookies and cream sundae, perhaps we could switch to non-dairy ice-creams? Just a thought.
Breast is best...

Bill O'Rights 09-25-2008 08:33 AM

Ben & Jerry's next flavor release; Blonde Squeezed Boobie Strawberry Delight?

Quote:

September 23, 2008

Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, Cofounders

Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc.

Dear Mr. Cohen and Mr. Greenfield,

On behalf of PETA and our more than 2 million members and supporters, I'd like to bring your attention to an innovative new idea from Switzerland that would bring a unique twist to Ben and Jerry's.

Storchen restaurant is set to unveil a menu that includes soups, stews, and sauces made with at least 75 percent breast milk procured from human donors who are paid in exchange for their milk. If Ben and Jerry's replaced the cow's milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers-and cows-would reap the benefits.

Using cow's milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your customer's health. Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer. The late Dr. Benjamin Spock, America's leading authority on child care, spoke out against feeding cow's milk to children, saying it may play a role in anemia, allergies, and juvenile diabetes and in the long term, will set kids up for obesity and heart disease-America's number one cause of death.

Animals will also benefit from the switch to breast milk. Like all mammals, cows only produce milk during and after pregnancy, so to be able to constantly milk them, cows are forcefully impregnated every nine months. After several years of living in filthy conditions and being forced to produce 10 times more milk than they would naturally, their exhausted bodies are turned into hamburgers or ground up for soup.

And of course, the veal industry could not survive without the dairy industry. Because male calves can't produce milk, dairy farmers take them from their mothers immediately after birth and sell them to veal farms, where they endure 14 to 17 weeks of torment chained inside a crate so small that they can't even turn around.

The breast is best! Won't you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow's milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry's ice cream? Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Tracy Reiman

Executive Vice President

Baraka_Guru 09-25-2008 08:35 AM

Ha, that's hilarious.

And awesome.

Breast cheese, anyone?

Poppinjay 09-25-2008 08:39 AM

That just plain sounds wrong.

LoganSnake 09-25-2008 08:42 AM

The group's retarded.

Baraka_Guru 09-25-2008 08:47 AM

I don't see why. What makes cow's milk that much different from human milk besides the treatment of each respective animal in the extraction.

Well, except that it can be argued that human milk is better for you.

Cow's milk is for growing cows, and in short order.

Poppinjay 09-25-2008 08:55 AM

Would we have to use skinny women for skim?

jewels 09-25-2008 09:02 AM

Once our milk's extracted by a megatron robot, they'll send us to the ranch to feed us some natural grains. This way, when you see your ex in a package in the grocery store, it will tout the special label that says "free range".

Baraka_Guru 09-25-2008 09:08 AM

I once knew a girl named Angus.

Halx 09-25-2008 09:35 AM

This brings back mammaries.

Jozrael 09-25-2008 09:38 AM

Oh god. I thought there were some bad ones before, but that was the -worst-. xD.

Keep it up!

Poppinjay 09-25-2008 09:46 AM

Baaad.

I'm willing to do collections.

Baraka_Guru 09-25-2008 10:00 AM

Nippolitan is my favourite flavour!

Martian 09-25-2008 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru (Post 2531822)
Nippolitan is my favourite flavour!

Careful. It's things like this that get your English licence revoked.

Reese 09-25-2008 12:56 PM

I hear breast feeding has been used to lose weight.. Maybe the next diet craze would be the Ben and Jerry's icecream milk donation.. What kind of salary would people need to breast feed enough milk to supply a large producer like Ben and Jerrys..


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