mjby2

"A tourist in Australia is lucky to be alive after being bitten on the penis by one of the world’s most venomous snakes.

The man was having a roadside toilet stop when the deadly brown snake emerged from the bush and lunged at his crotch.

It bit him on the end of the penis but did not release a significant amount of toxin through its fangs.

Paramedics rushed to the aid of the tourist, who was on a road near the town of Laura, on the wild and rugged Cape York Peninsula of Queensland.

"It certainly had a swipe at him," an ambulance spokesman told the Cairns Post. "But it didn’t envenomate him. As it came through it must have got a bit of a shock."

The incident happened a month ago but has only just come to light after it was confirmed by medical staff.

Despite his lucky escape, the tourist was left vomiting and with stomach pain from the small amount of poison the snake had injected.

Paramedics wrapped his penis in plastic sheeting and took him to hospital in nearby Cooktown, named after Capt James Cook, where he spent a night recovering.

The man, whose nationality was not released, was extremely fortunate to be alive but also “shocked and embarrassed” about where he had been bitten, an ambulance spokesman said.

Brown snakes are among the most common species of snake in Australia and are often encountered around farms, in bushland and even in suburbia. They cause more deaths from snakebite than any other species.

The eastern or common brown snake has the second most potent venom of any land snake, second only to the inland taipan, also found in Australia. The brown snake’s venom is 12 times more toxic than that of the Indian cobra.

About 3,000 Australians are bitten by snakes each year, but on average there are only one or two deaths because most victims receive anti-venom.

Brown snakes account for about half of all Australia’s snake bites, with the rest from tiger snakes, death adders and taipans."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...own-snake.html

Shauk

Needs to have the middle initial "T" and a canadian accent to make it funny.

Redlemon

The Lone Ranger, camping in the wilderness with Tonto, was bitten on the penis by a rattlesnake when he squattted near a tree to take a crap.
"Tonto, quickly, ride into town and ask for help," said the Lone Ranger, writhing in agony.
Tonto rode into town and ran into the doctor's office. "Doctor, the Lone Ranger has been bitten by rattlesnake, him need help!"
The doctor said, "I can't leave right now, Tonto. Go back to the Lone Ranger and suck the poison out of the wound, then slap tobacco juice on it. He should be ok in a couple of days."
Tonto rode back to camp, thinking hard all the while about where the rattlesnake had bitten the Lone Ranger.
"Tonto, what did the doctor say?" asked the Lone Ranger.
Tonto replied, "Doctor say you gonna die, Kemo Sabe."

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speshul-k

Very good redlemon!

Willravel

... if I had a dime ever time this happened to me...

SSJTWIZTA

this guy is pretty lucky (word used loosely)

no amount of ceran wrap around the wonger would have saved him if the snake would have injected his full load. (ahh, innuendos!)

poor fellow, i guess this is a lesson learned about pissing on a continent full of deadly....things.

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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

Tully Mars

If I were this guy I'd be telling everyone who asked "It was great when every girl I met wanted at my penis, now it's gotten so bad wild animals are going after it. Gez, I'm starting to wish it wasn't so big."

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Leto

ouch.


eh? what is a Canadian accent?