lktknow

I didn't find it on the net, but....and I'm unsure if he is syndicated or not but this was in our local paper.
I agree with most of them except the one about cilantro. I'm embarrassed to say, I do not know what he means about the southern ocean??

,http://www.presstelegram.com/news/ci_8432053

Grobaty:Our Old Man Column
Article Launched: 03/02/2008 08:29:20 PM PST


THE TIME HAS COME: We are not, according to Modern Science, getting any younger. It is time to at least consider not gallivanting all over town, hanging with the youngsters at the discotheque, hob-nobbing with the club owners and their offices full of big bowls of blow, hitchhiking up to L.A. to Jumbo's Clown Room and other places that take a toll on the psyche and the body.

For purposes of simmering down a bit, we have been compiling what we've been referring to as our Old Man Column. That is, a reflection on all things, as offered through the not-at-all-wearisome prism of a writer who has seen and experienced everything. Literally everything. And it goes something like this:

Just found out about the Southern Ocean. When did they sneak that one through?

After you have a barbecue, don't throw water on the coals. Instead, roast some marshmallows over them.

I like the sound of a rake on the sidewalk a block away.

You'd think by now I would've seen a bird fall out of the air dead.

I was saying "catorce" for the sheer joy of it long before U2 came out with "Vertigo."

Don't make the mistake of subscribing to too many magazines. They have a way of ganging up on you.

Red Auerbach will never be dead enough to suit me.

Taste your food first to see if it needs salt. You can put pepper on right away, though.

The Peloponnesian War made the War of the Roses look like a game of tag played

by kindergartners. Girl kindergartners.
The amount of time you save by saying "delish" instead of "delicious" doesn't offset how annoying it sounds.

If I could watch puppies playing anytime I wanted, I'd throw away my TV.

If I was in my prime right now I'd be making $20 million as wide-out for the Chicago Bears.

There is no meal that isn't improved by cilantro.

Garbanzo beans are also known as "chickpeas." And the avocado sometimes goes by the name "alligator pear."

I hate shaving so much I sometimes feel like growing a beard, if only they weren't so filthy.

The man is a liar who says Barry Bonds could hit a Sandy Koufax fastball.

Speaking of baseball, Cal Ripken Jr. isn't half the man his father was.

In some ways, black and white TVs were better than color. Not in all ways, but in some.

I would read a biography of Bill Gates, but it would have to be a "tell-all" one.

One of my favorite possessions is my big black skillet.

Young men: Don't marry a girl who doesn't enjoy a hearty breakfast.

It's hard to believe there was a time when Chevy Chase could have this writer doubled up in laughter.

I was playing Frisbee Golf long before it became popular.

Grill a steak just the way I like it and I will follow you around like a dog.

There is not a man alive who can fix a modern automobile with a regular set of tools.

I say bring back Pluto.

Boy, was I relieved to find out that a pedicure isn't what I thought it was.

You know what's fun for Lent? A good clam bake.

You buy a Toyota any time other than during the annual Toyotathon, you might as well just throw your money down a rat-hole.

I'm sorry, but an oral thermometer just doesn't give a dependable reading.

In the song "My Favorite Things" from "The Sound of Music," I would rank "cream-colored ponies and crisp apple streudels" as my favorite things, but definitely not "brown paper packages tied up with string." Not in this day and age.

It's really hard to come up with enough things to fill this space. It gives me a new appreciation for Larry King.

I never want to be so busy with my hands that I'll need to wear one of those Bluetooth phone things in my ear.

Fancy beer rubs me the wrong way. Mexican is as fancy as I want to get.

I could've told you a long time ago that we would never have personal jet-packs. Talk about your pie-in-the-sky ideas.

If you want a swimming pool in time for summer, now's the time to start building it.

U Thant couldn't carry Dag Hammarskjold's attache case.

Why do so many people hate grapefruit? It's cured a lot more colds than the junk that teacher invented.

Am I the only one who laughs when someone says "French Guinea?"

I read my horoscope in the newspaper every morning, but by bedtime I always forget to think back and see it if was right.

__________________
Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about. ~

bobby

some sage observations..........xoxoxoo

__________________
"Life goes on,within you,and...with out you !" xoxoxoo

Sion

shit...I must be dead then...or else I'm a woman and dont know it...<looks down front of pants>...nope, definitely not a woman

__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...