uncle phil

The FDA has decided to place new improved warning labels on beer. Here are some they are thinking about:


14. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

13. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

12. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

11. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.

7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer, and smarter than some really, really big guy named BUBBA.

4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

-Anders

yes

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Signature 101

Regziever

Awesome! It's all true though..

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Life is shit,
Death is even worse,
So what's the point of killing yourself?
/Ignatius Camryn Paladine

PayUp

9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

happend once at the lake

pancakerabbit

Nice tits ^_^

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I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
- Jack Handey

Slims

I am sure we could all have used some of those warnings before.

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"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence