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Just wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you. I hope things work out right for you and your family.
Whatever happens just remember that you are the one who can best look out for yourself. If she ends up not showing up, find something else to do, use public transportation if necessary or find something else to do at home. Don't cater to her or make things any easier on her. Let her know when she screws up that it bothers you just don't lecture her. Just simply say "I don't appreciate, thus and thus that you did." and move on. She may eventually get the idea or may not. But at least you aren't focused on what she's doing. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. You are the one to decide how you feel about things. Don't let her control your feelings by "neglecting" you or get you down in some way.
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma. 
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