Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Insecurities toward your SO's porn habits?

CinnamonGirl · 01-30-2004, 06:04 AM

Whoa. I had to dig this thread up, because this is a pretty big problem for me right now.

My husband = very much into porn. Now, this wouldn't bother me, except, as was mentioned in some of the above replies, he a) hides it from me and b) doesn't seem to be interested in sex anymore.

I like sex. I like a LOT of sex. For a while there, we were only having sex once, maybe twice a month, and my frustration with that took its toll on everything else.

I finally just deleted everything in a complete rage, trying to force a confrontation, since he pretty much refused to talk to me about it (and yeah, hindsight's 20/20...it may have been more effective to just MOVE the folder, instead of trashing it...but...yeah.) The plan didn't exactly work, since he never said a word to me about it, until I brought it up.

So, we finally had it out, and I felt so much better about everything. He admitted that while we were having sex once a month, he was jerking off to porn something like 5 or 6 times a week (and I still think he told me a lower number, but that's beside the point.) Anyway, I was a little miffed, but I told him that I wanted at least three of those times to be real sex, and he agreed.

Things went well for a little over a week, but...I think we're back to where we started. I try to intitiate sex, get turned down, he waits until I fall asleep, and then goes for the porn.

I've tried to watch porn with him...he occasionally will share pictures with me (and I like to look over his shoulder when he's surfing around the TB..not keeping an eye on him, just because I like to look), but most of the time not. And I don't think we've ever watched a video together. I've also tried to "spice things up" a bit, but I just get a weird look or uncomfortable silence.

Basically, I think he's just gotten lazy...it's much easier for him to get off by himself in a couple minutes, then it is to have to "worry" about me enjoying it.

Hmmm...well, this ended up being much longer than I thought it was going to be...if anyone's read this entire thing, wow

I don't know...I guess I might be looking for some general advice, but mostly, I just wanted to get everything out. My friends are great about listening, but none of them are married, and only one's in a serious relationship, so it's usually "I wish I could say something, but I've never been in a situation like that."

So..yeah...thanks for letting me rant.

Edit: Just wanted to clarify...it's not the porn I have a problem with. It's the not getting any sex that I don't like.

01-30-2004, 06:04 AM	#42 (permalink)
CinnamonGirl She's Actual Size Location: Central Republic of Where-in-the-Hell	Whoa. I had to dig this thread up, because this is a pretty big problem for me right now. My husband = very much into porn. Now, this wouldn't bother me, except, as was mentioned in some of the above replies, he a) hides it from me and b) doesn't seem to be interested in sex anymore. I like sex. I like a LOT of sex. For a while there, we were only having sex once, maybe twice a month, and my frustration with that took its toll on everything else. I finally just deleted everything in a complete rage, trying to force a confrontation, since he pretty much refused to talk to me about it (and yeah, hindsight's 20/20...it may have been more effective to just MOVE the folder, instead of trashing it...but...yeah.) The plan didn't exactly work, since he never said a word to me about it, until I brought it up. So, we finally had it out, and I felt so much better about everything. He admitted that while we were having sex once a month, he was jerking off to porn something like 5 or 6 times a week (and I still think he told me a lower number, but that's beside the point.) Anyway, I was a little miffed, but I told him that I wanted at least three of those times to be real sex, and he agreed. Things went well for a little over a week, but...I think we're back to where we started. I try to intitiate sex, get turned down, he waits until I fall asleep, and then goes for the porn. I've tried to watch porn with him...he occasionally will share pictures with me (and I like to look over his shoulder when he's surfing around the TB..not keeping an eye on him, just because I like to look), but most of the time not. And I don't think we've ever watched a video together. I've also tried to "spice things up" a bit, but I just get a weird look or uncomfortable silence. Basically, I think he's just gotten lazy...it's much easier for him to get off by himself in a couple minutes, then it is to have to "worry" about me enjoying it. Hmmm...well, this ended up being much longer than I thought it was going to be...if anyone's read this entire thing, wow I don't know...I guess I might be looking for some general advice, but mostly, I just wanted to get everything out. My friends are great about listening, but none of them are married, and only one's in a serious relationship, so it's usually "I wish I could say something, but I've never been in a situation like that." So..yeah...thanks for letting me rant. Edit: Just wanted to clarify...it's not the porn I have a problem with. It's the not getting any sex that I don't like. __________________ "...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world." "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Last edited by CinnamonGirl; 01-30-2004 at 07:44 AM..