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Rent "Joe's Apartment".
First time I read this, I thought you meant Cockroach Riding, and figured you must be in Florida.
Actually, the Orkin man is your friend here. If you have a truly heinous roach problem, call in the professionals.
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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