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Taking mushrooms for the first time in February of 1999. I knew no more than that they would 'be like smoking pot.' Hah! People obviously have different reactions to this (like most) drugs. My reaction was euphoria, giddiness, happiness, etc. for about 5 or 6 hours, and then..
I sat down in an easy chair for a quick breather and in the span of 60 seconds my entire life was flipped upside down. I realized that my desires for almost everything in my life were almost directly attributable in some way to my parents' views and that in a lot of ways I had never seen things clearly by myself, for myself. I suffered (went through? experienced? yes, maybe experienced) some weird symptoms mentally and physically for the next few months. Whenever in public I started to black out/lose consciousness for no apparent reason. What I finally learned (through a lot of reading and introspection) is that to some degree I was seeing everything for the first time, almost through the eyes of a child. The people I took to be my friends.. really weren't. The reasons I was in school.. weren't really *my* reasons. The way I viewed myself changed almost immediately. I could go on.. but I won't.
The two things I took out of the situation (albeit, indrectly to my story) that I do like to share with people are :
- I'm not sure the person I would have become sans-mushrooms is someone that I (me, here, now) would necessarily respect, appreciate, or like. Not really a cheery idea but an important thought nontheless.
- We all are able to control our own actions and our reactions to people/things/events. Any more than that is an unrealistic expectation. Therefore let everything else happen as it may and do try to take care of your own stuff without worrying about the rest.
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