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Sorry all - but I had to add this to the "General Discussion"
I am the very model of a modern major-general,
I've information vegetable, animal and mineral,
I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical,
From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical.
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem, I'm teeming with a lot o' news --
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
[Dolichurus on last line]
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus,
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous,
In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern major-general.
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's,
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics, I can floor peculiarities parabolous.
I can tell undoubted Rafaels from Gerard Dowes and Zoffanys,
I know the croaking chorus of the Frogs of Aristophanes,
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
And whistle all the airs to that infernal nonsense Pinafore;
[Dolichurus on last line]
Then I can write a washing-bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you every detail of Caractacus' uniform.
In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern major-general.
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
When I can tell at sight a Mauser* rifle from a javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "Commissariat" --
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery,
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy,
You'll say a better major-general has never sat agee.
[Dolichurus on last line]
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century.
But still, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern major-general.
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