wry1

We can't. It's all an illusion, man.

As for the original topic of this thread: I say "good for you" for realizing that you're single, and for getting on with your life. It sounds like the girl in question is looking for a bit of control in the relationship. I'm not saying she's trying to be controlling, just that she's trying to find something which she can feel she's able to deal with and handle. Let's face it: relationships can be confusing, turbulent things; finding someplace in one where control can be had is often not possible.

But whether she's just playing head-games with you or not, you shouldn't be expected to take that kind of crap - not from someone who you're involved with. Oh, the occasional bout of angst or other grief is inevitable - we're human, after all - but anything ongoing is just abuse.

You're better off without her. Use what you've learned and find someone worth your while.