I did a browse through the sexuality forum (bring the search back!!
) for this, apologise if it's been covered already.
Going out with a younger girl in another country. we see each other about once a month, twice if we're lucky. We went out for 2 months before she had to move back home. Been going out for 8 months now and its pretty clear to me that she is "a special one". We do love each other very much and its been absolutely awesome.
Theres one point thats bugging me though. most of her friends are guys. thats cool in my book, a lot of my friends are girls. but. she goes out for dinner with them (alone). she slow dances with them. little things like these kinda does make me jealous.
the thing is, when i get weird on the other end of the phone and i explain why, she is really surprised. she doesnt think anything is wrong with going out for dinner alone with a male friend. maybe i am just being totally unreasonable?? maybe its a cultural difference with her being a scandinavian female (scandinavian feed back would be helpful
) and myself aussie?
another thing that bugs me is the fact that i wouldn't do that. i dont go out for dinner with my female friends alone as its sorta considered a "date". its kinda out of respect for her... Her argument is, would i get jealous if she went out for dinner with a female friend? she doesnt see the difference. and i do understand her point, and she does reassure me that i am the only one she wants etc etc and then i feel shit for yet again bringing it up! i dunno, what do you think? whats acceptable and whats not? wheres the line?
one great thing about our relationship is that we talk about everything and we have set boundaries on what is acceptable and what isn't. at this stage we have agreed that kissing and leading other people on (as if you were single) is unacceptable. she says she doesnt flirt with these guys, they are just friends. i am trying to get used to the fact that she does these things, but i still cant help but be a bit jealous and weird. i want her to be able to do what she wants when she wants, because thats the courtesy she extends to me (she serioulsy doesnt have a single jealous bone in her body), but i cant help thinking damn i wish she wouldnt do some of those things. its a stark contrast to my prev girl (of 5 yrs) who was extremely jealous. it took me a while to adjust to someone that was so jealous, and i guess it will take me some time to adjust to someone thats the complete opposite!
is it an issue of trust? i *think* i am 100% sure that i trust her completely. she has the same views with infidelity that i do (i fucking hate cheaters) and i *know* she would never cheat on me. its almost as if because i see her so infrequently, i'm jealous of the fact that her male friends see her more often than i do, and not because i dont trust her and think shes going to cheat on me.
the best thing about it is the fact that the good in our relationship (communication is awesome) far outweighs the bad, and sometimes i think i am just being petty to take my frustrations out on someone close to me. argh. my head hurts, i think too much, someone slap me about...
thoughts? how do you overcome jealousy in these situations?
thx