rsl12

I will now prove to you that the God of my religion exists. In my religion:

* God has omnipotent powers
* God is omniscient
* God has a penis and is therefore male
* God does not use his omnipotency or omnisciency in any obvious way, but he still uses it in ways that are *subtle* and beyond observation. It is impossible to detect a miracle because god, being omnipontent, can make a miracle happen without making the majority of the people believe that it is anything other than coincidence. He makes miracles in this non-obvious way because he wants to. Why he wants to is a mystery--since we are not omniscient, there's no way for us to know. But still, he was there to make sure that most of the american soldiers in afghanistan came back home safe, he was there to make sure that the hutus didn't slaughter all of the tutsis in rwanda. Without god's intervention, we might have all died in a nuclear holocaust 30 years ago, so we should be grateful for his intervention.
* God is omniscient--if he wanted to, he could sit down at a poker table and clean everyone out. But the fact remains that he has no desire to do such thing. He's listens to prayers and help you lead a happy life. However, the way he guides your life is *subtle*, so that it would be hard to prove his thumbprint on any particular event in your life. He does this because he wants to do it this way. Why he wants to is a mystery.
* When you experience joy, it is because God wants you to be happy. When you experience trouble, it's because God wants you to learn. Everything on earth that you experience has a purpose determined by God, it's obvious. When you are bored, it's because God wants you to be bored.
* Here's the subtle point about my religion--it turns out that God is ME. It's me with the omnipotent powers, with the omniscient mind. When you are happy, it's because I want you to be happy. When you are sad, it's because I want you to learn from sorrow. When I make spelling mistakes, it's because my work is subtle, and I don't want the majority of people thinking that my rantings are anything more than the thousands of madmen typing away on the internet. Why I want to be subtle is, unfortunately, a secret that I cannot give away right now. However, I do have a penis, and if you like, I will show it to you. I am omnipotent, but I want to work in subtle ways, so I cannot demonstrate any of my powers, nor my omniscience. I will eventually die or be killed, but don't think it's any more than an illusion--another one of my subtleties. Everything that has happened on this earth and will happen on this earth is part of a grand design I have. I urge you to look around and notice how much purpose I have infused into everything around you. Just look and you will see it is obvious that I have done so much for you.

Yes, I am God, and I exist. Therefore, God exists. Please prove me wrong.

EDIT: AS EXPLAINED BELOW, my POINT is that, given the generally accepted traits of god today (omnipotent, omniscient, subtle, beyond grasp), it is very very difficult to come up with any method to prove/disprove existence, and that anyone can claim to be god using the current conventional definition of god. Even though a few centuries ago God was parting seas and turning bodies of water into rivers of blood, these days he's acting on a much more subtler scale. the definition of god today has gotten to the point where it's essentially useless.

SECOND EDIT: Check out KnifeMissile's response (1st one on page 2). He sums it up much better than I did.

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